Fundisa Umntwana Wakho Ngesondo

INGXAKI

Kwiminyaka edlulileyo, abazali ibiba ngabantu bokuqala ukuthetha nabantwana babo ngesondo. Bebezicacisa kancinci kancinci izinto, ngokwengqondo yomntwana.

Yaphela yonke loo nto ngoku. “Abantwana babona imiyalezo yesondo besakhula, kwaye neenkqubo zabantwana zizele yimifanekiso yamanyala,” itsho njalo incwadi ethi The Lolita Effect. Ngaba oku kuyabanceda abantwana okanye kuyabamosha?

OKO UMELE UKWAZI

Amanyala akuyo yonke indawo. Kwincwadi yakhe ethi Talk to Me First, uDeborah Roffman uthi, “iincoko, ezentengiso, iimuvi, iincwadi, amazwi eengoma, iinkqubo zeTV, imiyalezo, imidlalo, iibhodi zentengiso, iifowuni neekhompyutha zizele yimifanekiso, intetho neziqhulo zamanyala ezibangela abantwana abaqalayo ukubhadla nabancinane bengaqondanga, bajonge isondo njengeyona nto ibalulekileyo.”

Nabathengisi banetyala. Iivenkile zithengisa iimpahla zabantwana eziveza nezizoba umzimba, loo nto ibenza abantwana bacinge kakhulu ngobuhle. “Abathengisi basebenzisa abantwana kuba bayazi ukuba ngabona bathanda ukwamkeleka kootshomi,” itsho njalo incwadi ethi So Sexy So Soon. “Yonke le nto abayenzeli ukuba abantwana bathande isondo, kodwa bafuna iimpahla zabo zithengwe.”

Ukwazi ngesondo akwanelanga. Njengokuba kukho umahluko phakathi kokwazi indlela imoto esebenza ngayo nokuba ngumqhubi okhathalayo, kukho umahluko phakathi kokwazi ngesondo nokusebenzisa olo lwazi ukwenza izigqibo zobulumko ngesondo.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo: Namhlanje kubaluleke gqitha kunangaphambili ukunceda abantwana bakho baqeqeshe “amandla abo okuqonda” ukuze bakwazi “ukwahlula okulungileyo nokubi.”​—Hebhere 5:14.

OKO UNOKUKWENZA

Bancede. Nokuba kunzima kangakanani na, yamkele into yokuba nguwe ofanele uthethe nabantwana bakho ngesondo.​—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 22:6.

Ncokola naye. Kunokuba ude umhlalise phantsi, ncokola naye xa kuvela ithuba, mhlawumbi xa nisenza imisetyenzana yasendlini okanye nihamba ngemoto. Ukuze athethe, mbuze ukuba ucinga ntoni yena. Ngokomzekelo, kunokuba uthi, “Uyazithanda ezi ntengiso zinje?” unokuthi, “Ucinga ukuba kutheni abathengisi besebenzisa imifanekiso enje ukuthengisa izinto zabo?” Emva kokuba ephendule, mbuze, “Uthini wena ngaloo nto?”​—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Duteronomi 6:6, 7.

Mfundise ngokweminyaka yakhe. Abantwana abasaqalayo esikolweni banokufundiswa amagama amalungu obudoda okanye obufazi, nendlela yokuzikhusela kubantu abaxhaphaza abantwana ngesondo. Njengoko bekhula, banokuxelelwa indlela umntwana enziwa ngayo. Xa befikisa, kufuneka babe sebesazi ngakumbi ngesondo nangendlela efanelekileyo yokulisebenzisa.

Bethelela indlela yokuziphatha. Kufuneka uqale ufundise umntwana esemncinci ukunyaniseka, ukuthembeka nokuba nembeko. Xa sele umfundisile ngezi zinto, kuya kuba lula ukumfundisa ngesondo. Mayicace into oyicingayo ngesondo. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba uthi akufanelekanga ukwabelana ngesondo ngaphambi komtshato, yithethe loo nto. Cacisa ukuba kutheni kungafanelekanga kwaye kuyingozi. “Ulutsha oluyaziyo ukuba abazali balo abayiqhwabeli zandla into yokuba lwabelane ngesondo, alufane luyenze loo nto,” itsho njalo incwadi ethi Beyond the Big Talk.

Yiba ngumzekelo. Yenze into obafundisa yona. Ngokomzekelo, uyazihleka iziqhulo zamanyala? unxiba izinto ezikwenza uncwaswe? uyancwasa? Loo nto ingabangela abantwana bangazikholelwa izinto obafundisa zona.​—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Roma 2:21.

Thetha kakuhle ngesondo. Isondo sisipho sikaThixo. Xa sisetyenziswa emtshatweni, simnandi. (IMizekeliso 5:18, 19) Mxelele umntwana wakho ukuba naye uya kubuva obo bumnandi xa sele etshatile, engakhange afumane iintlungu ezibangelwa kukwabelana ngesondo ngaphambi komtshato.​—1 Timoti 1:18, 19.