Indlela Yokufumana Abahlobo Bokwenyaniso

UEMERSON, imbongi yaseMerika wabhala wathi, “ekuphela kwendlela yokufumana abahlobo kukuba ube nguye.” Ubuhlobo bukukudlelana ngezinto okuquka umoya wokupha. Abantu abazicingelayo nabo banotyekelo lokuzingca bakufumanisa kunzima ukufumana abahlobo bokwenyaniso. Sekunjalo, banokuphumelela njengoko siza kubona.

Ubuhlobo bokwenyaniso buvela xa kukho uthando kuba lulo olutsala abantu. Kanti bambi banengxaki yokufumana abahlobo. Umntu unokuyoyisa njani le ngxaki?

UDale Carnegie wacebisa oku, “Yiba ngumphulaphuli olungileyo. Bakhuthaze abanye ukuba bathethe ngeziqu zabo.” Xa abantu abangazaniyo behlangana, mhlawumbi embuthweni ethile, ngoobani abazifumanela abahlobo? Asingomancoko kodwa ngabo babonakalisa ububele obunothando kwabanye, bezama ukusondelelana nabo yaye bebaphulaphula ngenene. Ukukhumbula amagama neenkalo ezibangela umdla ngabantu osandul’ ukuqhelana nabo kukwanokunceda ekwakheni ubuhlobo.

Kwincwadi ethi Fundamentals of Interpersonal Communication, uKim Giffin noBobby R. Patton bancomela ukuzichaza oko ukuko nokunyaniseka. Bathi, “Ukuze umntu abe ngosenyongweni kuwe umele wazi okuthile ngaye okubalulekileyo kuwe . . . [Yiba] ngozityand’ igila uze ukhululeke ngamaxesha onke . . . limpendulo zakho komnye umntu zimele zibe zezinyanisekileyo.”

Abahlobo bokwenyaniso abanyanisekanga nje kuphela kodwa bakwabonisa ulwazelelelo, abaze bafune kuviwe bona kuphela okanye babe ngababanga ngokugqithiseleyo. Bayaqondana njengabahlobo, banokuyibona imbono yomnye ngezinto, ibe ngaloo ndlela banokubonisa uvelwano. Njengoko ubuhlobo bukhula, abazifihli oko bakuko, bengabi ngabahlobo bokwenyaniso kuphela kodwa baba ngabahlobo abasondeleleneyo. Asingabo bonke abahlobo bokwenyaniso abasenyongweni. UYesu Kristu, oyena mntu wakhe wanobuhlobo emhlabeni, wazenzela abahlobo abaninzi, kodwa babembalwa ababesenyongweni ngokwenene.—Marko 9:1-10; Luka 8:51.

Incwadi Yobuhlobo Bokwenyaniso

IBhayibhile, ngentelekiso eyiyeyona ncwadi iphambili kumbandela wobuhlobo, ithi: “Umhlobo uthanda ngamaxesha onke; umzalwana uzalelwe imbandezelo.” (IMizekeliso 17:17) Abahlobo bokwenyaniso banolwazelelo yaye bakulungele ukunikela uncedo xa kuvela iingxaki. Nangu umzekelo omhle woku—usekelwe kwibali likaSirayeli wemihla yamandulo.

Ngenxa yendlala, indoda yakwaYuda yafudukela kwaMowabhi nomfazi wayo, uNahomi. Ekuhambeni kwexesha yafa. Kamva, oonyana bayo ababini bazeka amaMowabhikazi uRute no-Orpa. Bandula ke bafa nabo abo nyana, beshiya abo bahlolokazi bathathu bodwa. UNahomi, unina, wagqiba kwelokuba abuyele kwaYuda, ibe oomolokazana bakhe ababini bahamba naye. Noko ke, endleleni uNahomi wabongoza aba bafazana babini ukuba babuyele kwelokuzalwa baze kubantu bakubo bazifunele oondofa-naye abatsha. UOrpa wenjenjalo, kodwa uRute wazingisa wathi uza kuhamba noNahomi. Kwakutheni? Kungenxa yokuba wayengengomolokazana nje kuphela; wayekwangumhlobo wokwenyaniso. Phakathi kwezinye izinto, ukuba ngonolwazelelo kwakhe ngendalo kwakungayi kumvumela ukuba ashiye umhlolokazi okhulileyo, ongenazo nezalamane zakowabo, ukuba ahambe yedwa.—Rute 1:1-17.

URute wabonisa uvelwano lokwenene, ububele, ukunyaniseka nothando. Ezo mpawu zisisiseko esiqinileyo sobuhlobo bokwenyaniso. Noko ke, kwakukho enye inkalo eyayibandakanyekile kulwalamano lukaRute noNahomi.

Ubuhlobo Obukumgangatho Ophakame Ngakumbi

Xa uNahomi wambongozayo ukuba abuyele emva, uRute wathi: “Musa ukundibongoza ngokuthi mandikushiye, . . . ngokuba apho uya khona, ndiya kuya nam, . . . abantu bakowenu baya kuba ngabantu bam, uThixo wakho abe nguThixo wam.” (Rute 1:16) URute owayesakuba ngumhedeni wancedwa nguNahomi, ukuba amazi aze amthande uThixo oyinyaniso, uYehova. Unqulo lwabo lwaba yintambo yokomoya enamandla eyabasondelelanisa kunye aba bafazi babini njengabahlobo bokwenyaniso. Ibe uYehova wabasikelela ngosapho olutsha. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, uBhohazi wazeka uRute, indoda eyayisinhanha neyayinemihlaba kwaYuda, ibe bafumana unyana abamthiya igama elinguObhedi owathi waba nguyisemkhulu kaKumkani uDavide.—Rute 4:13-22; Mateyu 1:5, 6.

Le nkalo yokomoya ubuhlobo ibubeka kwindawo ephakamileyo. Njani? Kwimeko kaRute noNahomi, bobabini aba babenqula uYehova, “uThixo onemfesane, onobabalo, ozeka kade umsindo, omninzi ngenceba nenyaniso.” (Eksodus 34:6) “UThixo uluthando,” yaye ukuba simnqula ngokunyanisekileyo ngomoya nangenyaniso, ngokuqinisekileyo yena nezidalwa esiphila nazo somthanda ngakumbi. (1 Yohane 4:8; Yohane 4:24) Ngaloo ndlela, senza inguqulelo. Buyakhula ubuhlobo kwabanye, ingakumbi kubantu abalulamileyo nababandezelekileyo bezizwe zonke. Ngaloo ndlela abantu abazicingelayo baya kuyeka oko. Abantu abazingcayo baba nolwazelelo ngabanye. Siqalisa ukubonakalisa isiqhamo somoya kaThixo—“uthando, uvuyo, uxolo, ukuzeka kade umsindo, ububele, ukulunga, intembeko, ubulali, ukuzeyisa.”—Galati 5:22, 23.

Ezi mpawu zisinceda ekubeni sibe namandla abalulekileyo okuxolela ubuthathaka neempazamo zabanye—‘kungabi kasixhenxe, kodwa kube ngamashumi asixhenxe aphindwe kasixhenxe,’ njengoko watshoyo uYesu. (Mateyu 18:21, 22) Abahlobo abaninzi bayasilela kule nkalo. Kodwa uYesu Kristu washumayela waza wakwenza oku. Wabaxolela ngokufuthi kangakanani na abafundi bakhe abangafezekanga nababemona ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngezono zabo, kuquka nokukhanyela kukaPetros iNkosi ngokulihlazo!—Mateyu 26:69-75.

Ngenxa yokuveliswa kwezi mpawu zokomoya, sifumana abahlobo abangakumbi. Ekugqibeleni, sizifumana singabentsapho enkulu yabahlobo ehlabathini lonke! Sikwafumanisa ukuba umlinganiselo oqhelekileyo wabahlobo bethu wongezeleleka ngakumbi. Ngokomzekelo, uBrian, umnquli omtsha kaYehova ozinikeleyo, ukhumbula ukuba abahlobo bakhe bangaphambili bamenza wasela waza watyeshela umfazi nabantwana bakhe. Kodwa ngoku uzinikele kakhulu kwintsapho yakhe. Ngokuphathelele abahlobo bakhe abaninzi abatsha abanqula uYehova ngokufanayo, uthi: “Ukuba ndinengxaki, ndiyazi ukuba, ndinokubamba umnxeba ndize ndiwutsalele nabani na kubo, ibe baya kukuvuyela ukundinceda.”

UAlan wayenabahlobo abancoko yabo yayisoloko isekelwe kwiinqwelo-mafutha nasezintombini. Kodwa ezo ncoko wazifumanisa “zingenaluncedo” xa wathi wazenzela abahlobo abatsha abaninzi, abantu abathanda uYehova njengaye. Bammangalisa uAlan “ngomdla ozenzekelayo, onyanisekileyo nonothando” abawubonakalisayo kuye.

Abahlobo Bethu Abasenyongweni

Bonke aba bantu nezigidi ezingakumbi zabanye babumba intsapho yabahlobo yazweni-banzi engekho kwezobupolitika neyoyisa imiqobo yobuhlanga, yobuzwe neyentlalo—babumba ubuzalwana bokwenene boluntu, obungamatwa totse nobo bamaKristu okuqala. (3 Yohane 14) Loo ntambo inye yahlanganisa uRute noNahomi ikwayiyo le imanyanisa le ntsapho, ntambo leyo eyile, unqulo olunyulu lukaYehova uThixo. Bonke abakuyo ngentobelo nangombulelo bayaqonda ukuba uYehova noYesu Kristu bangabahlobo babo abasenyongweni.

Usenokubuza uthi, ‘Ngaba uThixo uSomandla noNyana wakhe banjengabahlobo? Kunokwenzeka njani oko? Asikuko na ukuziphakamisa oko?’ Kaloku, iBhayibhile ithi: “WakhoIwa ke uAbraham nguye uThixo; . . . wabizwa ngokuba sisihlobo sikaThixo.” Ngokuqinisekileyo oko yayilubabalo. Kanti iLizwi likaYehova lithi: “UThixo uyabachasa abanekratshi, abababale abazithobileyo.”—Yakobi 2:23; 4:6.

Mhlawumbi bambi baziva benenkumbula yezono ukuba bangafumana ilungelo elinjalo. Kodwa uYakobi uhlabela mgama esithi: “Sondelani kuye uThixo, wosondela kuni. Hlambululani izandla, boni, nenze nyulu iintliziyo, nina bamphefumlo umbaxa. Zithobeni emehlweni eNkosi, yoniphakamisa.”—Yakobi 4:8, 10.

UYesu wathi: “Nizizihlobo zam nina, ukuba nithi nikwenze konke endinimisela khona mna.” Wakwacacisa ukuba eyona mithetho mikhulu ‘kukuthanda uYehova uThixo ngentliziyo yethu iphela, ngomphefumlo uphela, nangengqondo iphela, nommelwane wethu njengoko sizithanda ngako.’ (Yohane 15:14; Mateyu 22:37-40) Ukuba siyakwenza oko, siya kuba nabahlobo abaninzi bokwenyaniso. Ngaphezu koko, ngaloo ndlela siya kufanelekela elinye ilungelo elikhulu—ubomi obungunaphakade kumhlaba ocociweyo phantsi koBukumkani bukaThixo. (Mateyu 6:9, 10) Kunjengokuba uYesu wathi: “Umthetho wakhe [uYehova] lowo bubomi obungunaphakade.”—Yohane 12:50.

Ngaba uya kuwavumela amaNgqina kaYehova ukuba akuncede? Njengabantu abanyanisekileyo nabanobuhlobo, akulungele ukukutyelela aze axubushe lo mbandela ubalulekileyo kunye nawe ngesisa. Anokukunceda ukuba uzenzele abahlobo abaninzi bokwenyaniso.

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 6]

Imigaqo Ethile Ekhokelayo Yokufumana Abahlobo Bokwenyaniso

Yiba ngobakhethayo abantu onxulumana nabo.

Bonakalisa umdla ofudumeleyo kwabanye, uze ube ngumphulaphuli olungileyo.

Yenzani izinto kunye—baliselanani amava omeleza ubuhlobo.

Yiba ngokhululekileyo, ungeneke uze ube ngonyanisekileyo ngamaxesha onke.

Bonisa uvelwano nemfesane xa abanye besengxakini.

Xa abahlobo besenza iimpazamo okanye bekucaphukisa, hlala ukulungele ukuxolela—‘ukuya kutsho kumashumi aphindwe kasixhenxe.’—Mateyu 18:22.

Xa abahlobo behletywa okanye begxekwa ngokungafanelekanga, nyaniseka uze ubakhusele.

Ukumnqula kunye uYehova komeleza ubuhlobo ngendlela engenamlinganiselo.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 7]

URute wayengenakumshiya uNahomi kuba ubuhlobo babo babunesiseko sokomoya esiqinileyo. Ngaba unabahlobo bokwenyaniso abanjalo?