“Musani Ukubacaphukisa Abantwana Benu”

“BOYISE, musani ukubacaphukisa abantwana benu.” Watsho njalo umpostile uPawulos. (Efese 6:4) Kumazwe aseNtshona, apho abazali bathwaxwa kukubandezeleka nakukuxinezeleka okuxhaphakileyo kwibutho labantu abahambele phambili ngokwezoqoqosho, akusoloko kulula ngabo ukubaphatha ngobubele nabantwana babo. Yaye ukukhulisa abantwana kulucelomngeni olukhulu nakumazwe asakhasayo. Liyinyaniso elokuba indlela yokuphila isenokuba ayikhawulezi njengaleyo yaseNtshona. Kodwa amasiko nezithethe ekukudala zikho zinokubaphembelela abazali ukuba baphathe abantwana babo ngeendlela ezisenokuthi phantse ngokuqinisekileyo zibanxunguphalise zize zibacaphukise.

Kumazwe athile asakhasayo abantwana bajongelwa phantsi yaye abahlonelwa. Ngokwenkqubo yezinye iintlanga abantwana bayasongelwa yaye bayakhwazwa xa bethunywa, bayangxoliswa ibe bayathukwa. Kusenokuba kunqabile ukuva umntu omkhulu ethetha ilizwi lobubele emntwaneni, kungasathethwa ke ngamazwi embeko afana nokuthi “ndicela” nelithi “enkosi.” Ooyise bavakalelwa kukuba bafanele bamisele igunya labo ngokubabetha abantwana; amazwi abukhali abetheleleka ngokubatywatyusha kanobom.

Ngokwesithethe sezinye iintlanga zaseAfrika, kukwajongwa njengokuqaqadeka ngomntwana ukusuka nje ngokunokwakhe abulise umntu omkhulu. Akuyonto ingaqhelekanga ukubona ulutsha, ngoxa lusindwa yimithwalo enzima entloko, lulindele ngomonde ukufumana imvume yokubulisa iqela labantu abakhulu. Abantu abakhulu baya kuqhubeka nencoko yabo, bengalusi so ulutsha bade bakhethe ukuluvumela ukuba lubabulise. Kuphela kusemva kwaloo mibuliso abaya kuthi abantwana bavunyelwe ukuba badlule.

Ubuhlwempu bungomnye uthunywashe onokubenzakalisa abantwana. Bephulukana nemfundo yabo, abantwana basetyenziswa kabuhlungu njengamakhoboka amancinane, bade bakhathazwe nayimpilo. Kwanasekhaya kusenokufuneka ukuba abantwana benze imisebenzi enzima ngokungekho ngqiqweni. Yaye xa iintsapho zasemaphandleni zibathumela abantwana bazo ezidolophini ezinkulu ukuze babe phantsi kweliso lezizalwane ngoxa behamba isikolo, ngokufuthi baphathwa phantse njengamakhoboka. Ngokuqinisekileyo, yonke le mpatho-mbi iyabacaphukisa abantwana!

Oko Kuthethwa ‘Kukubacaphukisa’

Bambi abazali bazivumela ukuba baphenjelelwe msinya ngamasiko ehlabathi ahlala eguquka angendlela yokukhulisa abantwana bengacingi nto kangako ngemiphumo yawo. Noko ke, kungesizathu esilungileyo elithi iLizwi likaThixo libabongoze abazali ukuba bangabacaphukisi abantwana babo. Ibinzana lantlandlolo lesiGrike eliguqulelwe ngokuthi “ningabacaphukisi” ngokoqobo lithetha ukuthi “musani ukubaxhokonxela ukuba babe nomsindo.” (Kingdom Interlinear) KumaRoma 10:19, isenzi esifanayo siguqulelwe ngokuthi “xhokonxela ukuba babe nomsindo ombi.”

Ngenxa yoko iToday’s English Version ithi: “Musani ukubaphatha abantwana benu ngendlela ebenza ukuba babe nomsindo.” Ngokufanayo iThe Jerusalem Bible ithi: “Ningaze niqhubele abantwana benu kwingqumbo.” Ngoko ke iBhayibhile ayithethi ngokucaphukisa okuncinane komzali umntwana wakhe ngempazamo ngenxa yokungafezeki, yaye ayilugatyi uqeqesho olwenziwa ngobulungisa. Ngokutsho kweLange’s Commentary on the Holy Scriptures, le ndinyana yeBhayibhile ithetha “ngokuphehluzelisa abantwana, ukubadlakazelisa, ungatyhilekanga kubo, khon’ ukuze . . . bazive bengafunwa yaye bechaswa, bedelelwa kwaye bephathwa ngokurhabaxa.”

Kunjengokuba umfundisi-ntsapho uJ. S. Farrant wathi: “Inyaniso ikukuba abantwana bangabantu. Abasuki nje bayekelele koko kubangqongileyo njengoko izityalo zisenza. Benza okuthile.” Yaye ngokufuthi ukusabela kwabo kwimpatho embi kubenza baphazamiseke ngokomoya nangokweemvakalelo. INtshumayeli 7:7 ithi: “Ngokuba ukucudisa kugezisa isilumko.”

Ukukhulisa Abantwana Ekuqeqesheni KukaThixo

Abazali abanqwenela ukuba abantwana babo baqhubeke behamba enyanisweni abafanele bavumele amasiko nezithethe zasekuhlaleni ukuba zibe zezona zinto zimisela indlela abaya kubakhulisa ngayo abantwana babo. (Thelekisa eyesi-3 kaYohane 4.) Emva kokuba elumkise abazali ngokubacaphukisa abantwana babo, uPawulos wongezelela oku: “Bondleleni ekuqeqesheni nasekululekeni kweNkosi.” (Efese 6:4) Ngaloo ndlela imilinganiselo kaYehova iwathabathel’ indawo amasiko neembono zasekuhlaleni.

Ngoxa kumazwe athile kusenokuba yinto eqhelekileyo ukuba abantwana baphathwe njengabantu bodidi oluphantsi nanjengabasebenzi abangamakhoboka, iBhayibhile kwiNdumiso 127:3 ithi: “Uyabona, ilifa likaYehova ngoonyana, umvuzo sisiqhamo sesizalo.” Ngaba umzali angalondoloza ulwalamano oluhle noThixo ukuba uliphatha kakubi ilifa lakhe? Unotshe. Yaye iphuthile imbono yokuba abantwana kufuneka banelise iimfuno zabazali babo kuphela. Kweyesi-2 kwabaseKorinte 12:14, iBhayibhile isikhumbuza oku: “Kuba asingabantwana abafanele ukuqwebela abazali, ngabazali abafanele ukuqwebela abantwana.”

Oku akuthethi ukuba abantwana bamele bangayenzi imisebenzi yasekhaya. Kodwa ngaba azifanele ziqwalaselwe ezona zinto ziphambili umntwana anomdla kuzo? Ngokomzekelo, xa uYaa, intombazana engumKristu yaseAfrika, wabuzwa eyona nto anokuthanda ukuba abazali bakhe bamenzele yona, waphendula wathi: “Akwaba imisebenzi yam yasekhaya ibinokuncitshiswa ngeentsuku endilungiselele ukuya kwinkonzo yasentsimini ngazo.” Ngoko ukuba umntwana ukufumanisa kunzima ukufika ngexesha esikolweni okanye ukuya kwiintlanganiso ngenxa yokugixwa ngomsebenzi omninzi wasekhaya, ngaba akuyi kuba kokona kulungileyo ukwenza iinguqulelo ezithile?

Liyinyaniso elokuba kusenokuba nzima ukuqhubana nabasebatsha. Abazali banokubaphatha njani ngendlela engeyiyo eyokubaphatha kakubi okanye yokubacaphukisa? IMizekeliso 19:11 ithi: “Ingqiqo yomntu imenza azeke kade umsindo.” Ewe, kuqala unokuzama ukumqonda umntwana wakho njengomntu. Umntwana ngamnye wahlukile, unezinto anomdla kuzo, akwaziyo ukuzenza nazifunayo. Ziintoni ezi? Ngaba uye wathabatha ixesha lokuzama ukumazi umntwana wakho nokuze ufumane impendulo yalo mbuzo? Ukusebenza nokunqula kunye, ukubandakanyeka ekuzihlaziyeni njengentsapho—ezi zinto zibavelisela abazali amathuba okusondela ebantwaneni babo.

Kweyesi-2 kuTimoti 2:22, uPawulos waphawula okunye okubangel’ umdla xa wamxelela oku uTimoti: “Zibaleke iinkanuko zobutsha.” Ewe, uPawulos wayeqonda ukuba ubutsha bunokuba lithuba elineenkathazo. Kwenzeka iinguqulelo eziphawulekayo emzimbeni nakwiimvakalelo. Ukutsaleleka kwabesini esahlukileyo kuyakhula. Ebudeni beli xesha, ulutsha lufuna ukhokelo lwabantu abakhulu nolothando ukuze luphephe imigibe eyingozi. Kodwa alufanele luphathwe ngokungathi aluziphethanga kakuhle. Intombi eyayicaphukile yenye indoda engumKristu yavakalisa ubuhlungu bayo isithi: “Ukuba andihenyuzanga, kodwa utata abe endityhola ngako, akungekhe kubekho mahluko xa ndikwenza.” Kunokumbek’ ityala ngezinto ezimbi, bonakalisa ukumthemba umntwana wakho. (Thelekisa eyesi-2 kwabaseTesalonika 3:4.) Kunokuba uhlab’ amadlala, yiba novelwano uze ube ngoqondayo ngendlela yothando, engaguquguqukiyo.

Noko ke, iingxaki ezininzi zinokuphetshwa ukuba abazali bazixubusha kwangaphambili iingozi ezingokokuziphatha umntwana ajamelene nazo. Khumbula ukuba uThixo ubanika abazali imbopheleleko yokubaqeqesha neyokubafundisa iLizwi likaThixo abantwana babo. (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Oko kusenokufuna ixesha nomgudu osengqiqweni. Ngelishwa, abazali abathile bayasilela ukusiphumeza isabelo sabo sokufundisa ngenxa yokuba abanamonde. Ukungafundi, okuyingxaki enkulu kumazwe amaninzi asakhasayo, kungumqobo kwabanye abazali.

Kwiimeko ezithile umKristu okhulileyo unokucelwa ukuba ancede. Oko kusenokuba ngumbandela nje wokunikela icebiso kumzali ongenamava. (IMizekeliso 27:17) Okanye kusenokubandakanya ukuncedisa ekuqhubeni isifundo sentsapho ngokwaso. Kodwa oku akuyisusi kumzali imbopheleleko yakhe yokufundisa abantwana bakhe iLizwi likaThixo. (1 Timoti 5:8) Unokwenza umzamo wokusebenza nabantwana bakhe kubulungiseleli basentsimini nokuxubusha imibandela yezibhalo ngamaxesha ezidlo okanye ngezinye izihlandlo ezifanelekileyo.

Oselula okhulela ebuntwini obukhulu ngokwemvelo usenokunqwenela inkululeko engakumbi. Ngokufuthi abazali bakuqonda phosakeleyo oku njengokungathobeli okanye njengokusa. Hayi indlela aya kucatshukiswa ngayo ukuba abazali bakhe basabele ngokumphatha njengomntwana omncinane baze bangavumi ukumnika inkululeko engakumbi koko akwenzayo! Kwakhona uya kucaphuka xa abazali bakhe bemenzela izigqibo ngazo naziphi na iinkalo zobomi bakhe—imfundo, umsebenzi, umtshato—bengakhange baxubushe naye ngale mibandela ngendlela ezolileyo neyentlonelo. (IMizekeliso 15:22) Umpostile uPawulos wawabongoza amaKristu awayekhonza nawo ukuba ‘engqondweni abe ngabantu abakhulu.’ (1 Korinte 14:20) Ngaba abazali abafanele banqwenele ukuba ababo abantwana bakhule—ngokweemvakalelo nangokomoya? Noko ke, “amandla okuqonda” omntu oselula anokuqheliselwa kuphela ‘ngokuwasebenzisa.’ (Hebhere 5:14, NW) Ukuze awasebenzise ufanele anikwe umlinganiselo othile wenkululeko yokuzikhethela.

Ukukhulisa abantwana kule mihla inzima akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. Kodwa abazali abathobela iLizwi likaThixo ababacaphukisi okanye babaqumbise abantwana babo “ukuze bangafi intliziyo.” (Kolose 3:21) Kunoko, bazabalazela ukubaphatha ngothando, ngokuqonda nangentlonelo. Abantwana babo bayakhokelwa, abaqhutywa; bayondliwa, abatyeshelwa; bashukunyiselwa ukuba babe nothando, abaxhokonxelwa ukuba babe nomsindo okanye banxunguphale.

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 31]

Ukudlala i-“oware,” umdlalo wasekuhlaleni wangaphakathi endlwini eGhana, kubanika aba bazali ithuba lokunxulumana nabantwana babo