Sebenza Nzima Ukuze Intsapho Yakho Isindiswe
“Bondleleni ekuqeqesheni nasekululekeni kweNkosi.”—EFESE 6:4.
1, 2. Abazali bajamelene naluphi ucelomngeni namhlanje?
ELINYE iphephancwadi elithandwayo lakubiza ngokuba yimvukelo. Oku kwakukwinqaku elalichaza iinguqulelo ezothusayo ezenzekileyo kwiintsapho kwiminyaka yakutshanje. Kwathiwa ezi “zingumphumo wobhubhani woqhawulo-mtshato, ukutshata kwakhona, ukuqhawula umtshato kwakhona, abantwana abayimigqakhwe, neengcinezelo ezijamelene nazo iintsapho ezimanyeneyo.” Iingcinezelo neengxaki ezinjalo azimangalisi, kuba iBhayibhile yaxela kwangaphambili ukuba abantu babeya kujamelana ‘namaxesha anomngcipheko’ ebudeni bale “mihla yokugqibela.”—2 Timoti 3:1-5.
2 Ngoko ke namhlanje abazali bajamelene neengxaki ezazingazange zibekho kwizizukulwana zangaphambili. Nangona abazali abathile phakathi kwethu bekhulise abantwana babo ngeendlela zikaThixo “kwasebuntwaneni,” iintsapho ezininzi zisandul’ ukuqalisa ‘ukuhamba enyanisweni.’ (2 Timoti 3:15; 3 Yohane 4) Kusenokwenzeka ukuba abantwana babo bebesele bebadala xa abazali beqalisa ukubafundisa iindlela zikaThixo. Ngaphezu koko, ziyanda iintsapho ezinomzali omnye okanye ezemitshato yesibini phakathi kwethu. Nokuba zinjani na iimeko zakho, siyasebenza esi siluleko sompostile uPawulos: “Bondleleni ekuqeqesheni nasekululekeni kweNkosi.”—Efese 6:4.
Abazali AbangamaKristu Neendima Zabo
3, 4. (a) Ngabaphi oothunywashe ababangele indima yoobawo yancipha? (b) Kutheni oobawo abangamaKristu bemele bangabi ngabondli nje kuphela?
3 Phawula ukuba ngokuyintloko uPawulos wabhekisela amazwi akhe akwabase-Efese 6:4 ‘koobawo.’ Omnye umbhali ucacisa ukuba kwizizukulwana zangaphambili “oobawo babenembopheleleko yokufundisa abantwana babo ngokuziphatha nangokomoya; oobawo babenembopheleleko ngemfundo yabantwana babo. . . . Kodwa iiNguqulelo kwezoRhwebo zakuphelisa oku kusondelelana; oobawo bazishiya iifama neevenkile zabo, bawashiya amakhaya abo baya kusebenza kwimizi-mveliso yaye kamva eziofisini. Imisebenzi emininzi eyayikade iyimbopheleleko yoobawo yawela emagxeni oomama. Ubukhulu becala, ukuba ngubawo kwaba yinto ekho ngegama nje kuphela.”
4 Madoda angamaKristu: Musani ukwaneliseka kukuba ngabondli nje kuphela, nishiyela lonke uqeqesho nokukhuliswa kwabantwana kubafazi benu. IMizekeliso 24:27 yababongoza oobawo bamandulo yathi: “Lilungise ishishini lakho phandle, uzisebenzele entsimini yakho; emveni koko wakhe indlu yakho.” Ngokufanayo namhlanje, njengendoda esebenzayo, kusenokufuneka usebenze ixesha elide yaye nzima ukuze ukwazi ukondla intsapho yakho. (1 Timoti 5:8) Noko ke, emva koko, nceda uzenzele ixesha ‘lokwakha indlu yakho’—ngokweemvakalelo nangokomoya.
5. Abafazi abangamaKristu banokukusebenzela njani ukusindiswa kweentsapho zabo?
5 Bafazi abangamaKristu: Nani nimele nisebenze nzima ukuze iintsapho zenu zisindiswe. IMizekeliso 14:1 ithi: “Ubulumko bomfazi buyayakha indlu yakhe.” Njengamaqabane omtshato, wena nomyeni wakho ninembopheleleko yokufundisa abantwana benu. (IMizekeliso 22:6; Malaki 2:14) Oku kusenokubandakanya ukubaqeqesha abantwana benu, ukubenza balungele iintlanganiso zamaKristu nobulungiseleli basentsimini, okanye kwanokuqhuba isifundo sentsapho xa umyeni wakho engenakukwazi ukwenjenjalo. Kwakhona usenokwenza lukhulu ukufundisa abantwana bakho imisebenzi yasendlwini, isimilo, ucoceko, nezinye izinto ezininzi eziluncedo. (Tito 2:5) Xa amadoda nabafazi besebenza kunye ngale ndlela, banokuhlangabezana kakuhle ngakumbi neentswelo zabantwana babo. Ziziphi kanye ezinye zezo ntswelo?
Ukunyamekela Iintswelo Zabo Zeemvakalelo
6. Oobawo noomama banayiphi indima ekukhuleni ngokweemvakalelo kwabantwana babo?
6 Xa ‘umdlezana ebagcinile abantwana bakhe,’ baziva bekhuselekile, benqabisekile, bethandwa. (1 Tesalonika 2:7; INdumiso 22:9) Bambalwa oomama abanokuwunyamezela umnqweno wokuzifekethisa iintsana zabo. Umprofeti uIsaya wabuza: “Umfazi angalulibala yini na usana lwakhe, ukuba angabi namfesane kunyana wesizalo sakhe?” (Isaya 49:15) Ngaloo ndlela oomama banendima ebalulekileyo ekukhuleni kwabantwana ngokweemvakalelo. Sekunjalo, oobawo bakwanendima ebalulekileyo kule nkalo. Umfundisi ngemibandela yeentsapho uPaul Lewis uthi: “Kubo bonke abantu abajongana neengxaki zeentsapho akukaze kubekho namnye onikela ingxelo yomntwana [oyinjubaqa] onolwalamano oluhle noyise. Nditsho nokuba abemnye kumakhulu.”
7, 8. (a) Bubuphi ubungqina obukhoyo bomanyano olunamandla phakathi koYehova uThixo noNyana wakhe? (b) Oobawo banokulwenza njani umanyano olunothando nabantwana babo?
7 Ngoko ke kubalulekile ukuba oobawo abangamaKristu ngenyameko bahlakulele umanyano olunothando nabantwana babo. Ngokomzekelo, cinga ngoYehova uThixo noYesu Kristu. Ekubhaptizweni kukaYesu, uYehova wathi: “Wena unguNyana wam oyintanda, endikholisiweyo nguwe.” (Luka 3:22) La mazwi ambalwa athetha lukhulu! UYehova (1) wavakalisa uxabiso ngoNyana wakhe, (2) waluvakalisa ngokuphandle uthando ngoYesu, waza (3) wazisa ukuba ukholisiwe nguYesu. Kodwa, esi asikokuphela kwesihlandlo uYehova awavakalisa uthando lwakhe ngoNyana wakhe ngaso. Kamva uYesu wathi kuYise: “Wandithanda kwaphambi kokusekwa kwehlabathi.” (Yohane 17:24) Eneneni, ke ngoko, ngaba bonke oonyana neentombi ezinentobelo azifuni kuziva zixatyisiwe, zithandwa, yaye zikholekile kooyise?
8 Ukuba ungubawo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba usenokwenza lukhulu ukubangela umanyano olunothando nabantwana bakho ngokubonakalisa ukubathanda kwakho rhoqo ngokoqobo nangamazwi. Liyinyaniso elokuba kunzima ngamadoda athile ukubonakalisa uthando lwawo, ngokukodwa ukuba nawo akazange aboniswe uthando ngokuphandle ngooyise. Kodwa kwanomzamo obonakala uhlekisa wokubonisa uthando kubantwana bakho usenokuba nempembelelo enamandla. Ngapha koko, “uthando luyakha.” (1 Korinte 8:1) Ukuba abantwana bakho baziva benqabisekile ngenxa yothando lwakho njengoyise, baya kutyekela ngakumbi ekubeni ‘ngoonyana neentombi [zokwenene, NW]’ baze bavakalelwe kukuba banokuzityand’ igila kuwe.—IMizekeliso 4:3.
Ukunyamekela Iintswelo Zabo Zokomoya
9. (a) Abazali aboyik’ uThixo abangamaSirayeli bazinyamekela njani iintswelo zokomoya zeentsapho zabo? (b) Ngawaphi amathuba amaKristu anawo okufundisa abantwana bawo ngokungacwangciswanga?
9 Abantwana bakwaneentswelo zokomoya. (Mateyu 5:3, NW) UMoses wabongoza abazali abangamaSirayeli: “La mazwi ndikuwisela umthetho ngawo namhlanje, aze abe sentliziyweni yakho. Uze uwatsolise koonyana bakho, uthethe ngawo ekuhlaleni kwakho endlwini yakho, nasekuhambeni kwakho ngendlela, nasekulaleni kwakho, nasekuvukeni kwakho.” (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Ukuba ungumzali ongumKristu, ubukhulu becala unokufundisa ngokungacwangciswanga, njengaxa ‘uhamba ngendlela.’ Ixesha enilichitha nihamba ngenqwelo-mafutha, nithenga, okanye nihamba kunye nabantwana benu ukusuka kwenye indlu ukuya kwenye kubulungiseleli bamaKristu lininika amathuba amahle okufundisa konwatyiwe. Amaxesha ezidlo lixesha elihle lokuba iintsapho zincokole. Omnye umzali uthi: “Sisebenzisa ixesha lokudla ukuze sithethe ngezinto ezenzekileyo ebudeni bemini.”
10. Kutheni isifundo sentsapho maxa wambi silucelomngeni, yaye abazali bamele bazimisele ukwenza ntoni?
10 Noko ke, ukubafundisa ngokucwangcisiweyo abantwana bakho ngesifundo seBhayibhile esiqhutywa rhoqo kukwabalulekile. Kuyavunywa ukuba, “ukumatha kubotshiwe entliziyweni” yabantwana. (IMizekeliso 22:15) Bambi abazali bathi abantwana babo banokusiphelisa ngokulula isifundo sentsapho. Njani? Ngokungazoli nangokukruquka, ngokuphazamisa ngeendlela ezicaphukisayo (njengokulwa nabantakwabo), okanye ngokuzenza abangazaziyo iinyaniso zeBhayibhile ezisisiseko. Ukuba oku kufikelela kwinqanaba lokuba kuliwe ngokuba kuza kuphumelela ukuthanda kukabani, ukuthanda komzali kumele kube kokona kunamandla. Abazali abangamaKristu abamele bancame baze bayekele abantwana baphathe entsatsheni.—Thelekisa amaGalati 6:9.
11. Isifundo sentsapho sinokwenziwa njani sinandipheke?
11 Ukuba abantwana bakho abasinandiphi isifundo sentsapho, mhlawumbi kusenokwenziwa utshintsho oluthile. Ngokomzekelo, ngaba isifundo sisetyenziswa njengendlela yokungxolisa abantwana bakho ngeentsilelo zabo? Mhlawumbi kuya kuba kokulunge ngakumbi ukuzixubusha bucala iingxaki ezinjalo. Ngaba isifundo senu siqhutywa rhoqo? Ukuba siyarhoxiswa ngenxa yenkqubo ethandwayo kamabonwakude okanye ezemidlalo, ngokunokwenzeka abantwana bakho abayi kusijonga njengesibalulekileyo isifundo. Ngaba indlela osiqhuba ngayo isifundo inyanisekile yaye ibonisa ihlombe? (Roma 12:8) Ewe, isifundo simele sinandipheke. Zama ukugcina bonke abantwana bebandakanyekile. Yiba ngowakhayo, ngobubele ubancome abantwana bakho ngokuba nenxaxheba kwabo. Kambe ke, musa ukugubungela umbandela nje kuphela kodwa zama ukufikelela iintliziyo zabo.—IMizekeliso 23:15.
Ukuqeqeshela Ebulungiseni
12. Kutheni uqeqesho lungasoloko lubandakanya ukufakw’ induku?
12 Abantwana bakwalufuna ngamandla uqeqesho. Njengomzali, ufanele ubabekele imida. IMizekeliso 13:24 ithi: “Oyiyekileyo intonga yakhe umthiyile unyana wakhe; ke omthandayo umqeqesha esemncinane.” Noko ke, iBhayibhile ayithethi ukuba ngalo lonke ixesha uqeqesho lumele luthethe ukubafak’ induku. IMizekeliso 8:33 ithi: “Yivani uqeqesho,” ibe sixelelwa ukuba “ukukhalinyelwa kuyangena konengqondo ngaphezu kwemivumbo elikhulu kosisinyabi.”—IMizekeliso 17:10.
13. Bafanele baqeqeshwe njani abantwana?
13 Maxa wambi, kusenokufuneka baqeqeshwe ngokufakw’ induku. Noko ke, ukuba luphunyezwa ngomsindo kusenokwenzeka ukuba lubaxwe yaye lungabi namiphumo. IBhayibhile iyalumkisa: “Nina boyise, musani ukubacaphukisa abantwana benu, ukuze bangafi iintliziyo.” (Kolose 3:21) Liyinene elokuba “ukucudisa kugezisa isilumko.” (INtshumayeli 7:7) Oselula ocaphukileyo usenokuvukela nemigaqo yobulungisa. Ngenxa yoko abazali bafanele basebenzise iZibhalo ukuqeqesha abantwana babo ngobulungisa ngendlela engqongqo kodwa elungeleleneyo. (2 Timoti 3:16) Uqeqesho lobuthixo ludluliselwa ngothando nangobulali.—Thelekisa eyesi-2 kuTimoti 2:24, 25.a
14. Bafanele benze ntoni abazali ukuba baziva betyekele ekubeni nomsindo?
14 Kambe ke, “siyakhubeka kaninzi sonke.” (Yakobi 3:2) Kwanomzali ngokuqhelekileyo onothando usenokuyekelela kwingcinezelo yelo xesha aze athethe amazwi angenabubele okanye abonise umsindo. (Kolose 3:8) Xa oko kusenzeka, musa ukuvumela ilanga litshone esacaphukile umntwana wakho okanye wena usenomsindo. (Efese 4:26, 27) Yilungise imicimbi nomntwana wakho, ucele uxolo ukuba oko kubonakala kufanelekile. (Thelekisa uMateyu 5:23, 24.) Ukubonisa ukuthobeka okunjalo kusenokunenza nisondelelane ngakumbi nomntwana wakho. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba akukwazi kuwulawula umsindo wakho yaye uya kudubuleka ngumsindo, funa uncedo kubadala bebandla abamiselweyo.
Iintsapho Ezinomzali Omnye Nezemitshato Yesibini
15. Banokuncedwa njani abantwana kwiintsapho ezinomzali omnye?
15 Noko ke, asingabo bonke abantwana abaxhaswa ngabazali bobabini. EUnited States, umntwana omnye kwabane ukhuliswa ngumzali omnye. ‘Amakhwenkwe angenayise’ ayexhaphakile ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile, yaye inkxalabo ngawo ivakaliswa ngokuphindaphindiweyo eZibhalweni. (Eksodus 22:22, NW) Namhlanje, iintsapho zamaKristu ezinomzali omnye ngokufanayo zijamelana neengcinezelo neengxaki, kodwa zithuthuzelwa kukwazi ukuba uYehova ‘unguyise weenkedama [“wamakhwenkwe angenayise,” NW], nomthetheleli wabahlolokazi.’ (INdumiso 68:5) AmaKristu abongozwa ukuba ‘avelele iinkedama nabahlolokazi embandezelweni yabo.’ (Yakobi 1:27) Amanye amakholwa anokwenza lukhulu ekuncedeni iintsapho ezinomzali omnye.b
16. (a) Bafanele bazenzele ntoni iintsapho zabo abazali abangenamaqabane omtshato? (b) Kutheni kusenokuba nzima ukunikela uqeqesho, kodwa kutheni lumele lunikelwe?
16 Ukuba ungumzali ongenaqabane lomtshato, yintoni onokuyenza ukwenzela ingenelo yentsapho yakho? Kufuneka usikhuthalele isifundo seBhayibhile sentsapho, ukubakho kwiintlanganiso nobulungiseleli basentsimini. Noko ke, uqeqesho lusenokuba lucelomngeni olunzima ngokukhethekileyo. Mhlawumbi usebuhlungu ngokufelwa liqabane olithandayo. Okanye usenokuba ulwisana neemvakalelo zokuba netyala okanye nomsindo ngenxa yokuqhawuka komtshato. Ukuba nobabini ninelungelo lokugcina abantwana, usenokude woyikele ukuba umntwana wakho usenokukhetha ukuhlala neqabane owahlukene okanye oqhawule umtshato nalo. Iimeko ezinjalo zisenokubangela kube nzima ngokweemvakalelo ukudlulisela uqeqesho olulungeleleneyo. Noko ke, iBhayibhile isixelela ukuba “umntwana oyekelelweyo udanisa unina.” (IMizekeliso 29:15) Ngoko musa ukuvumela ukuziva unetyala, ukudana, okanye ingcinezelo yeemvakalelo ebangelwa ngulowo wayeliqabane lakho lomtshato. Misela imigaqo esengqiqweni nengaguquguqukiyo. Musa ukulalanisa kwimigaqo yeBhayibhile.—IMizekeliso 13:24.
17. Yintoni enokubangela iindima zamalungu entsapho zingacaci kwiintsapho ezinomzali omnye, yaye kunokwenziwa ntoni ukuthintela oku?
17 Noko ke, kusenokuvela iingxaki ukuba umama ongenamyeni umphatha unyana wakhe njengomninimzi obambeleyo—indoda yalapha ekhaya—okanye intombi yakhe njengomntu wokudizela amahlebo, eyithwalisa zonke iingxaki zakhe. Ukwenjenjalo akufanelekanga yaye kuyamdida umntwana. Xa indima yomzali neyomntwana zingacacanga, uqeqesho lusenokuphela. Yenza kwaziwe ukuba nguwe umzali. Ukuba ungumama ofuna icebiso elisekelwe eBhayibhileni, lifune kubadala okanye mhlawumbi kudade oqolileyo nokhulileyo.—Thelekisa uTito 2:3-5.
18, 19. (a) Luluphi olunye ucelomngeni olujamelene neentsapho zomtshato wesibini? (b) Abazali nabantwana kwintsapho yomtshato wesibini banokububonisa njani ubulumko nokuqonda?
18 Iintsapho zomtshato wesibini ngokufanayo zijamelana nocelomngeni. Ngokufuthi, abazali bomtshato wesibini bafumanisa ukuba kunqabile ukuba kubekho “uthando ngokukhawuleza.” Ngokomzekelo, abantwana bomtshato wesibini basenokucatshukiswa yiyo nantoni na ebonakala ngathi kukukhetha abantwana obazalayo. (Thelekisa iGenesis 37:3, 4.) Eneneni, abantwana bomtshato wesibini basenokuba basesentlungwini yokushiywa ngumzali okanye banoloyiko lokuba ukuthanda lo mzali womtshato wesibini ngandlel’ ithile kusenokuba kukunganyaniseki kuyise okanye unina obazalayo. Imizamo yokunikela uqeqesho olufunekayo isenokudibana nesikhumbuzo sokuba, ‘Akungomzali wam wokwenene!’
19 IMizekeliso 24:3 ithi: “Indlu yona yakhiwa ngobulumko; izinziswe ngengqondo.” Ewe, kufuneka ubulumko nokuqonda kubo bonke ababandakanyekileyo ukuze intsapho yomtshato wesibini iphumelele. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, abantwana bamele basamkele isibakala ngokufuthi esibuhlungu sokuba izinto ziguqukile. Ngokufanayo abazali bomtshato wesibini kusenokufuneka bafunde ukuba nomonde novelwano, bangakhawulezi bacaphuke xa bebonakala bengamkelwa. (IMizekeliso 19:11; INtshumayeli 7:9) Ngaphambi kokuba ube ngumqeqeshi, zabalazela ukwakha ubuhlobo nomntwana womtshato wesibini. De olu manyano lubekho, bambi basenokukhetha ukuluyekela kumzali wokwenene uqeqesho. Xa kuvela iingxaki, kumele kwenziwe imigudu yokuncokola. IMizekeliso 13:10 ithi: “Ubulumko bunabavuma ukucetyiswa.”c
Qhubekani Nisebenzela Ukusindiswa Kwentsapho Yenu!
20. Iintloko-ntsapho ezingamaKristu zifanele ziqhubeke zisenza ntoni?
20 Iintsapho zamaKristu ezomeleleyo azibikho ngamabona-ndenzile. Nina zintloko-ntsapho nimele niqhubeke nisebenza nzima ukuze iintsapho zenu zisindiswe. Hlalani niphaphile, niphawula imikhwa engemihle okanye utyekelo lwehlabathi. Miselani umzekelo omhle ngentetho, ngehambo, ngothando, ngokholo nangobunyulu. (1 Timoti 4:12) Bonakalisani iziqhamo zomoya kaThixo. (Galati 5:22, 23) Umonde, ulwazelelelo, ukuxolela, nothantamiso luya kuyiqinisa imigudu yenu yokufundisa abantwana benu iindlela zikaThixo.—Kolose 3:12-14.
21. Umoya wolonwabo unokugcinwa njani ekhayeni likabani?
21 Ngoncedo lukaThixo, zamani ukugcina umoya wolonwabo ekhayeni lenu. Chithani ixesha kunye njengentsapho, nizabalazele ukutya ubuncinane isidlo esinye kunye suku ngalunye. Iintlanganiso zamaKristu, inkonzo yasentsimini, nesifundo sentsapho zibalulekile. Sekunjalo, kwakhona “ukuhleka kunexesha lako . . . kukho nexesha lokudloba.” (INtshumayeli 3:1, 4) Ewe, cebani izihlandlo zokuzihlaziya ezakhayo. Ukutyelela iimyuziyam, imizi yogcino-zilwanyana, neendawo ezifana nezo kuyavuyisa kwintsapho iphela. Okanye nisenokumcima umabonwakude nize nichithe ixesha nicula, niphulaphule umculo, nidlala imidlalo yaye nincokola. Oku kusenokuyinceda intsapho isondelelane.
22. Kutheni ufanele usebenze nzima ukuze intsapho yakho isindiswe?
22 Ngamana nonke bazali abangamaKristu ningaqhubeka nisebenzela ukukholisa uYehova ngokuzeleyo “nixakathe isiqhamo kuwo wonke umsebenzi olungileyo, nikhulela ekumazini uThixo.” (Kolose 1:10) Yakhela intsapho yakho kwisiseko esiqinileyo sokuthobela iLizwi likaThixo. (Mateyu 7:24-27) Yaye qinisekani ukuba imigudu yenu yokukhulisela abantwana benu “ekuqeqesheni nasekululekeni kweNkosi” uya kukholiswa yiyo.—Efese 6:4.
[Imibhalo esemazantsi]
a Bona inqaku elithi “Imbono YeBhayibhile: ‘Intonga Yokuqeqesha’—Ngaba Iphelelwe Lixesha?” kuVukani! kaSeptemba 8, 1992.
b Bona IMboniselo kaMatshi 15, 1981, iphepha 19-32.
c Bona IMboniselo ka-Agasti 1, 1985, iphepha 22-6.
Ubunokuphendula Uthini?
◻ Indoda nomfazi banokusebenzisana njani ekwakheni intsapho yabo?
◻ Ziziphi ezinye zeentswelo zeemvakalelo zabantwana, yaye kunokuhlangatyezwana njani nazo?
◻ Iintloko-ntsapho zinokubafundisa njani abantwana bazo ngokucwangcisiweyo nangokungacwangciswanga?
◻ Abazali banokuqeqeshela ebulungiseni njani?
◻ Kunokwenziwa ntoni ukuze iintsapho ezinomzali omnye nezo zomtshato wesibini zingenelwe?
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 16]
Uthando nenkoliseko kabawo zibalulekile ekukhuleni komntwana ngokweemvakalelo