Ibali Lobomi

“Anikwazi Oko Ubomi Benu Buya Kuba Kuko Ngomso”

NGOKUBALISWA NGUHERBERT JENNINGS

“Ndandibuyela kwiofisi yesebe leWatch Tower Society laseGhana ndivela kwizibuko lesixeko saseTema yaye ndamisa ukuze ndikhwelise umfana owayecela ukukhweliswa esiya edolophini. Ndalixhakamfula elo thuba ukuze ndinikele ubungqina kuye. Ndandicinga ukuba ndithetha kamnandi gqitha! Noko ke, ukufika kwethu kuloo ndawo wayesiya kuyo loo mfana, watsiba elorini waza wabaleka.”

ESI siganeko sichazwe ngasentla sandibonisa ukuba ikho into engahambi kakuhle ebomini bam. Ngaphambi kokuba ndinabe ngoko kwenzekayo, makhe ndikuchazele ngendlela mna, mmi waseKhanada ekwenzeka ngayo ukuba ndibe seGhana.

Kwakuphakathi kuDisemba wowe-1949 kwihlomela-dolophu elisemantla eToronto, eKhanada. Sasisandul’ ukumba umhlaba onomkhenkce omalunga nemitha silungiselela ukufaka amanzi kwindlu entsha. Elo qela endandikulo labasebenzi ababegodola yaye bediniwe, langungelana kumlilo wamaplanga alahliweyo, lilindele ilori eyayiza kulithabatha. Ngequbuliso, uArnold Lorton, owayengomnye wabasebenzi waqalisa ukuthetha okuthile ngokuphathelele “iimfazwe namarhe eemfazwe,” “isiphelo sehlabathi,” esebenzisa nezinye izinto endandiqala ukuziva. Kwathi cwaka ngokukhawuleza, wonk’ umntu wadideka yaye abanye bamphatha kakubi. Ndacinga, ‘Lo mfo unesibindi! Akukho bani ufuna ukumphulaphula, kodwa usaqhubeka.’ Kodwa oko wayekuthetha kwandichukumisa. Kwakusemva kweminyaka embalwa nje iphelile iMfazwe Yehlabathi II, yaye andizange ndive ngezinto ezinjalo kunqulo lwaseChristadelphia eyayihamba kulo intsapho yakowethu kangangezizukulwana. Ndaphulaphula ngenyameko, nditsalwe yindlela awayecacisa ngayo.

Kungekudala ndaya kuArnold ukuze ndifumane inkcazelo engakumbi. Xa ndikhangela emva, ndiyayiqonda indlela abandinyamezela ngayo nendlela ababonakalisa ngayo ububele kum yena nomfazi wakhe uJean, ngelo xesha ndandingumfana oneminyaka eli-19 ubudala nowayengenamava. Ndandisoloko ndifika ndingakhange ndibaxelele yaye ndingamenywanga kwikhaya labo ndize kuthetha nabo. Bandinceda ndalungelelanisa imilinganiselo yokuziphatha eyayiphixanisa loo ngqondo yam yobutsha. Kwiinyanga ezilishumi emva koko kwenzeka ngoxa sasothe umlilo ecaleni kwendlela, ndabhaptizwa ngo-Oktobha 22, 1950, njengomnye wamaNgqina kaYehova ndaza ndanxulumana neBandla laseWillowdale eNorth York, ngoku eyinxalenye yeToronto.

Ukutyhalela Phambili Nabanye Abanquli

Kwaya kusiba nzima ngakumbi ekhaya xa utata waqondayo ukuba ndizimisele ukuqhubeka nonqulo lwam olutsha. UTata wayesandul’ ukwenzakala entloko kwingozi yokungqubana kwezithuthi eyabangelwa ngumqhubi owayenxilile yaye ngaloo ndlela wayengumntu ekwakunzima ukuqhubana naye. Ubomi baba nzima kuMama, kubantakwethu ababini, noodade wethu ababini. Imbambano ephathelele inyaniso yeBhayibhile yathabatha unyawo. Ngoko, kwabonakala kububulumko ukuba ndilishiye ikhaya ukuze kubekho uxolo phakathi kwam nabazali bam nokuze ndizinze ‘kwindlela yenyaniso.’—2 Petros 2:2.

Ngasekupheleni kwehlobo lowe-1951, ndaba lilungu lebandla elincinane laseColeman, eAlberta. Apho kwakukho abafana ababini, uRoss Hunt noKeith Robbins, bexakeke ngumsebenzi wokushumayela ixesha elizeleyo, owaziwa njengobuvulindlela obuthe ngxi. Bandinceda nam ndacinga ngobo bulungiseleli benziwa ngokuzithandela. NgoMatshi 1, 1952, ndangena kwizintlu zabalungiseleli abangoovulindlela abathe ngxi.

Kuba mnandi xa ndicinga indlela ababendikhuthaza ngayo. Kwakukuninzi endandimele ndikufunde yaye kwavela ithuba lokuba nam ndizibonakalise. Emva kokuchitha ixesha elimalunga nonyaka kwinkonzo yobuvulindlela kwiBandla laseLethbridge, eAlberta, ndafumana isimemo endandingasilindelanga sokukhonza njengomveleli ohambahambayo. Ndandiza kukhonza amabandla amaNgqina kaYehova awayegqagqene kunxweme lwaseKhanada ukusuka eMoncton, eNew Brunswick, ukusa eGaspé, eQuebec.

Ekubeni ndandineminyaka engama-24 nje kuphela ubudala yaye ndisemtsha enyanisweni, ndaziva ndingafanelekanga ngeyona ndlela, ngokukodwa xa ndizithelekisa naloo maNgqina aqolileyo ndandiza kuwakhonza. Ndenza umgudu onyanisekileyo kwiinyanga eziliqela ezalandelayo. Kwandula ke kwavela enye into eyandothusayo.

Ukuya KwiSikolo SaseGiliyadi NaseGold Coast

NgoSeptemba 1955, ndamenywa ukuba ndithelele abanye abafundi abamalunga nekhulu beklasi yama-26 yeSikolo seBhayibhile seWatchtower saseGiliyadi eSouth Lansing eNew York. Ndafumana oko ndandikufuna kanye, kwiinyanga ezintlanu zoqeqesho nofundisiso olucokisekileyo. Inzondelelo yam yomelezwa kukuba kunye nelo qela lalizele lihlombe. Ngelo xesha kwakukho enye into eyayiqhubeka neseyingenelo nanamhlanje ebomini bam.

Kwakukho udade oselula, uAileen Stubbs, owayephakathi kwabafundi ababelungiselela loo msebenzi wabavangeli basemazweni. Ndaphawula ukuba uAileen wayengumntu ozinzileyo, ozimiseleyo, nothozamileyo, nowayesoloko echwayitile. Ndicinga ukuba ndamothusa xa ndamxelela iinjongo zam ngobuyilo. Noko ke, akazange andibhebhethe! Savumelana noAileen ukuba aye kwisabelo sakhe sobuvangeli basemazweni eCosta Rica ndize mna ndiye kwesam eGold Coast (ngoku eyiGhana), eNtshona Afrika.

Ngenye intsasa ngoMeyi 1956, ndazibhaqa sele ndikwiofisi kaMzalwan’ uNathan Knorr ekumgangatho weshumi eBrooklyn eNew York. Ngelo xesha wayengumongameli weWatch Tower Society. Ndandinikwa isabelo sokuba sisicaka sesebe ukuze ndongamele umsebenzi wokushumayela eGold Coast, eTogoland (ngoku eyiTogo), eIvory Coast (ngoku eyiCôte d’Ivoire), eUpper Volta (ngoku eyiBurkina Faso), naseGambia.

Amazwi kaMzalwan’ uKnorr asankenteza engqondweni yam ngokungathi ebethethwa izolo. Wathi: “Akuyomfuneko ukuba uthabathe iintambo ngoko nangoko. Ungangxami; funda kubazalwana balapho abanamava. Kothi ke xa sele uziva ukuba ukulungele oko, uqalise ukukhonza njengesicaka sesebe. . . . Nantsi ileta yokumiselwa kwakho. Uya kuthabatha iintambo emva kweentsuku ezisixhenxe ufikile apho.”

Ndacinga, ‘iintsuku ezisixhenxe nje kuphela. Kanti ngoku ebesithi “thabatha ixesha lakho”?’ Ndemka ndimangalisiwe kolo dliwano-ndlebe.

Iintsuku ezimbalwa ezalandelayo zadlula ngokukhawuleza. Kungekudala ndandimi enqanaweni, eyayihamba ngakwiEast River, yenjenjeya ukudlula kwiiofisi zoMbutho zaseBrooklyn, ndandiqalisa uhambo lweentsuku ezingama-21 lwaselwandle ndisinge eGold Coast.

Imbalelwano yayishushu phakathi kwam noAileen. Sadibana kwakhona ngowe-1958 yaye satshata ngoAgasti 23 kuloo nyaka. Andiyeki ukumbulela uYehova ngokundinika iqabane elinjalo ukubalasela.

Ndiye ndalixabisa ilungelo lokukhonza kangangeminyaka eli-19, nabanye abavangeli basemazweni kunye nabazalwana noodade baseAfrika kwiofisi yesebe yoMbutho. Intsapho yaseBheteli yakhula ukususela kubantu nje abambalwa yaya kutsho kwabamalunga nama-25 ngelo xesha. Ezo yayiziintsuku ezilucelomngeni, kwangaxeshanye kwakusenzeka iziganeko ezininzi yaye kuphunyezwa lukhulu. Noko ke, ndimele ndiyithethe inyaniso. Eyona nto yayilucelomngeni ngokukodwa kum, yayiyimozulu eshushu nenolophu. Kwakuba ngathi ndisoloko ndibilile, ndincangathi yaye ngamanye amaxesha ndandiba nochuku. Sekunjalo, kwakuvuyisa ngokwenene ukukhonza apho njengoko inani labavakalisi baseGhana landayo ukususela kubavakalisi boBukumkani abangaphezu nje kwama-6 000 ngowe-1956 ukuya kutsho kwabangama-21 000 ngowe-1975. Yaye kuvuyisa kakhulu ukubona amaNgqina angaphezu kwama-60 000 akhoyo ngoku apho.

“Ingomso” Esingazange Sicinge Ngalo

Malunga nowe-1970, ndaqalisa ukuba nengxaki yempilo ekwaba nzima ukuba ibonwe ukuba yintoni na. Ndaxilongwa ngokucokisekileyo, emva koko ndaxelelwa ukuba “ndingumqabaqaba.” Kodwa ke yintoni eyayibangela ukuba ngalo lonke ixesha ndizive ndingaphilanga, ndidiniwe yaye ndingonwabanga? Impendulo yavela kwizinto ezimbini ezaye zandothusa. Enyanisweni, kunjengokuba uYakobi wabhala esithi: “Anikwazi oko ubomi benu buya kuba kuko ngomso.”—Yakobi 4:14.

Ndaqalisa ukuba nofifi xa ndandinikela ubungqina kumfana endandimkhwelisile esiya edolophini. Ndandingaqondi ukuba ndithetha into engenasiphelo, ndithetha ngokukhawuleza ngakumbi nangakumbi. Ekufikeni kwethu kwindawo awayesiya kuyo loo mfana, ndothuka xa etsiba elorini ebaleka. Inkoliso yabantu baseGhana izolile ngemvelo, yaye ayicaphuki ngokukhawuleza. Indlela awasabela ngayo yayingaqhelekanga. Ndahlala apho ndicamngca. Ndaqonda ukuba ndinengxaki. Ndandingazi ukuba yintoni kanye kanye. Kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ndandinengxaki.

Okwesibini, emva kwenye ingxubusho yokuzama ukuzigocagoca, uAileen weza necebo: “Ngoko, ukuba le ngxaki ayikho semzimbeni, imele ukuba isengqondweni.” Ngoko ke, ndabhala phantsi zonke iimpawu zesifo sam ndaza ndaya kugqirha wengqondo. Ndathi ndakumfundela olo ludwe ndandilubhalile, waphendula wathi: “Ezi ziimpawu ezicacileyo. Une-manic-depressive psychosis (isifo sokuxinezeleka kwengqondo).”

Ndathi khamnqa! Kwaya kusiba nzima njengoko ndandizama ukulwa ngamandla kwiminyaka eliqela eyalandelayo. Ndaqhubeka ndifuna isicombululo. Kodwa kwakungekho mntu waziyo ukuba yintoni enokwenziwa. Hayi indlela ekwakundikhathaza ngayo oko!

Kwakuyinjongo yethu ukuqhubeka nelungelo lenkonzo yexesha elizeleyo njengomsebenzi wethu, yaye kwakusekuninzi okwakufanele kwenziwe. Izihlandlo ezininzi ndandithandaza ngokusuk’ emazantsi entliziyo yam ndisithi: “Yehova, ukuba kukuthanda kwakho, ‘ndiza kuphila ndenze oku nokuya.’” (Yakobi 4:15) Kodwa akuzange kube njalo. Ngoko sayamkela imeko ngobunjalo bayo, saza salungiselela ukuyishiya iGhana nabahlobo bethu abaninzi abasenyongweni yaye sabuyela eKhanada ngoJuni 1975.

UYehova Unikela Uncedo Esebenzisa Abantu Bakhe

Kungekudala ndafumanisa ukuba oko ndandikwenza kwakunokwenziwa nangomnye umntu, ndafumanisa nokuba asindim kuphela onale ngxaki. Amazwi akweyoku-1 kaPetros 5:9 aba nentsingiselo kum: “[Yazini] ukuba behlelwa kwaziimbandezelo ezifanayo nabazalwana benu bonke ehlabathini.” Ndathi ndakukuqonda oku, ndaqalisa ukubona indlela uYehova awayesixhasa ngayo sobabini kolu tshintsho lunganqwenelekiyo. Olunjani lona uncedo olwavela ‘kubazalwana bethu’ ngeendlela ezininzi!

Nangona sasingenazinto ziphathekayo zingako, uYehova akazange asishiye. Washukumisela abahlobo bethu baseGhana ukuba basincede ngezinto eziphathekayo nangezinye iindlela. Sibuhlungu sinjalo, sabashiya ngasemva abahlobo bethu abasenyongweni saza sajamelana neli “ngomso” sasingazange sicinge ngalo.

Ngobubele safumana indawo yokuhlala kudade boAileen, uLenora nomyeni wakhe, uAlvin Friesen, abanyamekela iintswelo zethu ngesisa kangangeenyanga eziliqela. Omnye ugqirha wengqondo odumileyo wasiqinisekisa wathi: “Uza kuchacha kwiinyanga nje ezintandathu.” Mhlawumbi oko wakutsho ukuze ndibe nentembelo, kodwa oko wakutshoyo akuzange kuzaliseke nkqu nasemva kweminyaka emithandathu. Kude kube namhlanje, ndisajamelene noko ngoku, ngendlela echubekileyo kubizwa ngokuba kukuphazamiseka okuthile kwengqondo (bipolar mood disorder). Ngokuqinisekileyo eli binzana livakala kamnandi, kodwa njengokuba abo banesi sifo besazi kakuhle, ukubizwa kwaso ngendlela echubekileyo akuzidambisi nakancinane iimpawu ezidandathekisayo zesi sifo.

Ngelo xesha, uMzalwan’ uKnorr wayesele egula yaye ekugqibeleni wafa ngoJuni 1977. Sekunjalo, wazinika ithuba yaye wafumana amandla okundibhalela iileta ezinde, ezikhuthazayo nezazinamazwi athuthuzelayo neziluleko. Ndisazixabisa nangoku ezo leta. Amazwi akhe andinceda kakhulu ekuthomalaliseni iimvakalelo endandimana ndisiba nazo zokoyisakala.

Ekupheleni kowe-1975, kwafuneka silincame ilungelo lethu elixabisekileyo lenkonzo yexesha elizeleyo size sinikele ingqalelo kwimpilo yam. Amehlo am ayesiba buhlungu ngenxa nje yokukhanya okuqhelekileyo kwasemini. Isithonga esitsho ngequbuliso sasihlokoma ngathi kukudubula kombayimbayi. Isiphithiphithi sezihlwele sasindiphazamisa. Kwakusiba nzima nokuya kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu. Sekunjalo, ndandeyiseke ngokupheleleyo ngokubaluleka konxulumano lokomoya. Ukuze ndihlangabezane noko, ndandidla ngokungena kwiHolo yoBukumkani emva kokuba isihlwele sele sihleli phantsi ndize ndimke ngaphambi nje kokuba siqalise ukuxokozela ekupheleni kocwangciso.

Ukuba nesabelo kubulungiseleli basesidlangalaleni kweza nolunye ucelomngeni olukhulu. Maxa wambi, ndandisithi sele ndifikile endlwini, ndingabi nayo inkalipho yokunkqonkqoza. Noko ke, ndandingahambi kuba ndandiqonda ukuba ubulungiseleli bethu buthetha usindiso kuthi nakuye nabani na osabela kakuhle. (1 Timoti 4:16) Emva kwethutyana, ndandiye ndiziqoqe kwakhona, ndiye kumnyango olandelayo ndize ndiphinde ndizame. Ngokuqhubeka ndisiba nesabelo kubulungiseleli, ndahlala ndiphilile ngokomoya ukusa kumlinganiselo othile, yaye oko kwandenza ndakwazi ngakumbi ukunyamezela.

Ngenxa yokunganyangeki kwesi sifo, ndiye ndaqonda ukuba ndiya kuqhubeka ndinalo uphazamiseko engqondweni ubomi bam bonke kule nkqubo yezinto ikhoyo. Ngowe-1981 kwaphuma ungcelele lwamanqaku asemagqabini kaVukani!a Ngenxa yawo, ndaqalisa ukusiqonda kakuhle esi sigulo yaye ndafunda iindlela eziluncedo ngakumbi zokujamelana naso.

Ukufunda Ukujamelana Naso

Kuko konke oku inkosikazi yam iye yazincama yaza yenza uhlengahlengiso oluthile. Ukuba unyamekela othile okwimeko efanayo, mhlawumbi uya kuziqonda ezi zinto aye waziphawula:

“Kubonakala ngathi ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo kwenza utshintsho ngequbuliso kwiimpawu zobuntu. Kwiiyure nje ezingephi, lowo ugulayo unokuguquka aze ayeke ukuba ngumntu ophilileyo, olukhuthazo nonamacebiso neembono eziphilileyo asuke abe ngumntu odiniweyo, oneembono ezingakhiyo ade abe nomsindo. Ukuba oko akuqondwa ukuba sisigulo, kunokubacaphukisa abanye yaye kubenze badideke. Ngokucacileyo, kufanele kwenziwe utshintsho ngokukhawuleza, yaye uqalisa ukuba nomvandedwa ngenxa yokuphoxeka nokuziva engamkelekanga.”

Mna, xa ndiziva ndiphile kakuhle, ndiba nexhala. Ndiye ndiqonde ukuba emva koko “kuchwayita” ndiza kuthi “khunubembe.” Mna, ndikhetha ukuthi “khunubembe” “kunokuchwayita” kuba xa ndithe khunubembe ndiye ndizole kangangeentsuku eziliqela, yaye ngokufuthi andenzi nto ingafanelekanga. UAileen undinceda kakhulu ngokundilumkisa ukuba ndingabi nemincili ngokugqithiseleyo aze andithuthuzele, andixhase xa ndidandathekile.

Kukho ingozi enkulu yokuba ngunkom’ idla yodwa xa esi sifo sihlasele. Ubani usenokuzikhetha kwabanye ngokupheleleyo xa edandathekile okanye angazikhathaleli iimvakalelo zabanye neendlela abasabela ngazo xa ephazamisekile. Ngaphambili, kwakunzima kum ukuyamkela into yokuba ndinengxaki engqondweni nangokweemvakalelo. Kwafuneka ndilwe nengcinga yokuba ingxaki yam ibangelwa yenye into, njengokungaphumeleli kwimizamo yokwenza okuthile okanye omnye umntu. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwakufuneka ndizikhumbuze ukuba, ‘Akukho nto itshintshileyo kwindawo endihlala kuyo. Ingxaki ingaphakathi kum, ayikho ngaphandle.’ Ngokuthe ngcembe, ndade ndahlengahlengisa indlela yokucinga.

Ukutyhubela iminyaka, sobabini siye safunda ukuthetha phandle ngemeko yam size sinyaniseke kuthi nakwabanye. Sizimisele ukulondoloza isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo singavumeli esi sifo silawule ubomi bethu.

“Ingomso” Elilunge Ngakumbi

Ngenxa yemithandazo esuk’ entliziyweni nokuzama izihlandlo ezininzi, siye sangenelwa ngokufumana intsikelelo nenkxaso kaYehova. Sibadala sobabini ngoku. Ndifumana unyango ngokusisigxina ngendlela elinganiselweyo kodwa ngokuthe rhoqo, yaye imeko yam yempilo iyalawuleka ngomlinganiselo othile. Siyawaxabisa nawaphi na amalungelo enkonzo esinokuwafumana. Ndisaqhubeka ndikhonza njengomdala webandla. Sisoloko sizama ukubaxhasa abanye esikholwa nabo.

Enyanisweni, njengokuba uYakobi 4:14 esitsho: “Anikwazi oko ubomi benu buya kuba kuko ngomso.” Kuya kuhlala kunjalo lo gama nje isekho le nkqubo yezinto. Noko ke, amazwi kaYakobi 1:12 nawo ayinyaniso: “Unoyolo umntu oqhubeka enyamezela isilingo, ngenxa yokuba akuba ekholekile uya kwamkela isithsaba sobomi, awabathembisa ngaso [uYehova] abo baqhubeka bemthanda.” Ngamana sonke singema siqinile namhlanje size sicinge ngeentsikelelo uYehova asibekele zona ngomso.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

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Ndifuna ukuba ndedwa kwigumbi lam endisebenzela kulo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Ndikunye nomfazi wam, uAileen

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KwiNdibano ‘Yeendaba Ezilungileyo Ezingunaphakade’ eyayiqhutyelwa eTema, eGhana ngowe-1963