Ulwalathiso LukaThixo Ekukhetheni Iqabane Lomtshato

“Ndiya kukuqiqisa ndikuyalele ngendlela ofanele uhambe ngayo. Ndiya kukucebisa iliso lam likuwe.”—INDUMISO 32:8.

1. Ngabaphi oothunywashe abayimfuneko ukuze umtshato uphumelele?

ABO babetha amagubu baqalisa ukubetha amagubu abo. Imvumi ngobuchule iyabathelela ngelizwi layo elimyoli. Batsho ngoncuthu lwengoma. Amadoda amabini othula iibhokisi ezinzima zempahla kwilori enkulu. Enye indoda iphosa ibhokisi kwenye, yaye yona iyibamba ngokulula ize ilindele ibhokisi elandelayo. Zombini ezi zenzo zichazwe ngasentla, zibonakala zilula kakhulu. Ukanti, ngubani obenokuzama ukuzenza engakhange aqhelisele ngaphambili, engenalo neqabane elikwaziyo ukwenza oko yaye engakhange afumane ukhokelo okanye aqeqeshwe ngendlela efanelekileyo. Ngokufanayo, umtshato ophumelelayo unokubonakala njengento eye yazenzekela. Noko ke, nawo uxhomekeke ekubeni neqabane elifanelekileyo, intsebenziswano yaye ngokungakumbi kwisiluleko sobulumko. Eneneni, ukhokelo olufanelekileyo lubalulekile.

2. (a) Ngubani owasungula ilungiselelo lomtshato, yaye ngayiphi injongo? (b) Aye enziwa njani amanye amalungiselelo omtshato?

² Kuyinto eqhelekileyo ngomfana okanye ibhinqa eliselula elingatshatanga ukucinga ngeqabane lomtshato—iqabane eliya kuchitha nalo ubomi balo. Ukususela ekusungulweni kwawo nguYehova uThixo, umtshato wendoda nomfazi ubuyinto eqhelekileyo ebomini. Kodwa indoda yokuqala, uAdam, ayizange izikhethele umfazi. Yamenzelwa nguYehova ngothando. (Genesis 2:18-24) Isibini sokuqala sasiza kwanda, ukuze ekugqibeleni umhlaba uzaliswe ngabantu. Emva kolo manyano lokuqala, ngokuqhelekileyo amalungiselelo omtshato ayesenziwa ngabazali bomtshakazi nomyeni, maxa wambi emva kokuba befumene imvume yabo babandakanyekileyo. (Genesis 21:21; 24:2-4, 58; 38:6; Yoshuwa 15:16, 17) Ngoxa kwamanye amazwe nakwezinye iindawo isekho imitshato elungiselelwa ngabazali, abaninzi namhlanje bayazikhethela amaqabane abo omtshato.

3. Lifanele likhethwe njani iqabane lomtshato?

³ Lifanele likhethwe njani iqabane lomtshato? Bambi baphenjelelwa yimbonakalo—oko bakubona kukholisa yaye kunomtsalane emehlweni abo. Abanye bafuna iingenelo zezinto eziphathekayo, bafuna umntu oya kubanyamekela aze anyamekele iintswelo zabo nezinto abazifunayo. Kodwa ngaba nayiphi na kwezi ndlela iyodwa inokukhokelela kulwalamano olonwabisayo nolwanelisayo? IMizekeliso 31:30 ithi: “Umtsalane usenokuba yinkohliso, nobuhle busenokuba lilize; kodwa ngumfazi owoyika uYehova oya kudunyiswa.” Yaye kukho ingongoma ebalulekileyo kuloo mazwi: Cinga ngoYehova xa ukhetha iqabane.

Ulwalathiso Lothando Oluvela KuThixo

4. Luluphi uncedo esilunikwe nguThixo ngokuphathelele ukukhetha iqabane lomtshato?

⁴ UBawo wethu wasezulwini onothando, uYehova, uye wasinika iLizwi lakhe elibhaliweyo ukuze lisalathise kuyo yonke imibandela. Uthi: “Mna, Yehova, ndinguThixo wakho, Lowo ukufundisa okuyingenelo kuwe, Lowo ukubangela unyathele endleleni ofanele uhambe ngayo.” (Isaya 48:17) Ngoko ke, akumangalisi ukuba eBhayibhileni kufumaneke ulwalathiso ekukudala lukho, lwendlela yokukhetha iqabane. UYehova ufuna imitshato yethu ihlale ixesha elide yaye ibe yeyonwabisayo. Ngoko ke, uye wasinika uncedo lokuba siluqonde size silusebenzise olu lwalathiso. Ngaba leyo asinto ebesiya kuyilindela kuMdali wethu onothando?—INdumiso 19:8.

5. Yintoni ebalulekileyo ukuze kuhlale kukho ulonwabo emtshatweni?

⁵ Xa uYehova wasungula ilungiselelo lomtshato, wayenenjongo yokuba ibe liqhina elihlala lihleli. (Marko 10:6-12; 1 Korinte 7:10, 11) Kungenxa yoko le nto ‘eluthiyile uqhawulo-mtshato,’ eluvumela kuphela ngesizathu “sohenyuzo.” (Malaki 2:13-16; Mateyu 19:9) Ngoko ke, ukukhetha iqabane lomtshato lelinye lawona manyathelo anzulu esinokuwathabatha yaye akumele kuthatyathwe njengento engenamsebenzi. Zimbalwa izigqibo ezinokuphumela kulonwabo okanye elusizini. Ngoxa umntu enokuba nobomi obunentsingiselo nobanelisayo xa enze ukhetho olufanelekileyo, ukwenza ukhetho olungelolwabulumko kunokubangela usizi olungapheliyo. (IMizekeliso 21:19; 26:21) Ukuze uqhubeke wonwabile, kubalulekile ukukhetha ngobulumko uze ukulungele ukuzibophelela ngonaphakade kuba uThixo waseka umtshato njengolwalamano olwaluya kuphumelela xa kukho imvisiswano nentsebenziswano.—Mateyu 19:6.

6. Kutheni abafana namabhinqa aselula kufuneka balumke ngokukhethekileyo xa bekhetha iqabane, yaye banokusenza njani esona sigqibo sobulumko?

⁶ Abafana namabhinqa aselula kufuneka balumke ngokukhethekileyo ukuba bangakhohliswa yinkangeleko yangaphandle neminqweno enamandla xa bekhetha iqabane. Eneneni, ulwalamano olusekelwe kwezo zinto kuphela, ngokukhawuleza lunokuphumela ekubeni umcekise loo mntu okanye umthiye. (2 Samuweli 13:15) Kwelinye icala, uthando oluhlala luhleli lunokuhlakulelwa njengoko sisiya silazi ngakumbi iqabane lethu yaye nathi sizazi bhetele. Kwakhona simele siqonde ukuba eyona nto isilungeleyo isenokungabi yiloo nto ibinqwenelwa yintliziyo yethu ekuqaleni. (Yeremiya 17:9) Kungenxa yoko le nto lubaluleke kangaka ulwalathiso lukaThixo oluseBhayibhileni. Lusinceda siqonde indlela esinokuzenza ngayo ezona zigqibo zobulumko ebomini. UYehova wathi ngomlomo womdumisi: “Ndiya kukuqiqisa ndikuyalele ngendlela ofanele uhambe ngayo. Ndiya kukucebisa iliso lam likuwe.” (INdumiso 32:8; Hebhere 4:12) Ngoxa umtshato unokwanelisa intswelo esinayo yemvelo yothando nobuqabane, ukwazisa nocelomngeni olufuna abantu abaqolileyo nabanokuqonda.

7. Kutheni abanye bengasamkeli isiluleko esisekelwe eBhayibhileni ngokuphathelele ukukhetha iqabane, ukanti linokukhokelela phi elo khondo?

⁷ Kububulumko ukuphulaphula oko kuthethwa nguMsunguli womtshato ngokuphathelele umbandela wokukhetha iqabane. Ukanti, sisenokuxhathisa xa abazali okanye abadala abangamaKristu besinika isiluleko esivela eBhayibhileni. Sisenokuvakalelwa kukuba abasiqondi, yaye iminqweno enamandla isenokusiqhubela ekubeni silandele utyekelo lwentliziyo. Noko ke, xa sijamelene neemeko zokoqobo sisenokuzisola kuba singazange sisiphulaphule isiluleko sobulumko esasinikelwe ngenjongo yokunceda thina. (IMizekeliso 23:19; 28:26) Sisenokuzibhaqa sikumtshato ongenaluthando, sinabantwana ekunzima ukuba sibanyamekele yaye mhlawumbi sineqabane elingakholwayo. Hayi indlela ekunokuba lusizi ngayo ukuba ilungiselelo ebekufanele ukuba libe ngumthombo wolonwabo liphethukela ekubeni ngumthombo wokubandezeleka!

Uzinikelo Lobuthixo—Oyena Ndoqo

8. Uzinikelo lobuthixo lunokuba luncedo njani ukuze umtshato ube ngowonwabisayo?

⁸ Kuyavunywa ukuba, ukutsaleleka kwamaqabane elinye kwelinye kunokuba luncedo ekomelezeni umtshato. Kodwa ukuphila ngemilinganiselo efanayo kubaluleke nangakumbi ukuze umanyano lomtshato luhlale luhleli luze lubangele ulonwabo. Ukuzinikela kuYehova uThixo kwamaqabane omabini kuyila iqhina elihlala lihleli kuze kubangele umanyano ngaphezu kwayo nayiphi na enye into. (INtshumayeli 4:12) Xa isibini esingamaKristu sisekela ubomi baso kunqulo olunyulu lukaYehova, siyamanyana ngokomoya, engqondweni nangokuziphatha. Sifundisisa iLizwi likaThixo kunye. Sithandaza kunye, yaye oko kumanyanisa iintliziyo zaso. Sihamba kunye xa sisiya kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu size sisebenze kunye kubulungiseleli basentsimini. Konke oku kuyanceda ekwenzeni iqhina lokomoya elisenza sisondelelane. Okona kubaluleke ngakumbi, kwenza sifumane intsikelelo kaYehova.

9. Yintoni eyenziwa nguAbraham ngokuphathelele ukufumanela uIsake umfazi, yaye yaba nawuphi umphumo?

⁹ Ngenxa yozinikelo lwakhe lobuthixo, usolusapho othembekileyo uAbraham wafuna ukukholisa uThixo xa wayeza kukhethela unyana wakhe uIsake umfazi. UAbraham wathi kwisicaka sakhe esithembekileyo: “Ndimele ndikufungise ngoYehova, uThixo wamazulu noThixo womhlaba, ukuba akuyi kumthabathela umfazi unyana wam ezintombini zamaKanan endihleli phakathi kwawo, kodwa woya ezweni lakowethu nakwizalamane zam, uze ngokuqinisekileyo umthabathele khona umfazi unyana wam, uIsake. . . . [UYehova] uya kuthumela ingelosi yakhe phambi kwakho, yaye ngokuqinisekileyo uya kumthabathela khona umfazi unyana wam.” URebheka waba ngumfazi obalaseleyo, owayethandwa kunene nguIsake.—Genesis 24:3, 4, 7, 14-21, 67.

10. Yiyiphi imbopheleleko yeZibhalo enikwe amadoda nabafazi?

¹⁰ Ukuba singamaKristu angatshatanga, uzinikelo lobuthixo luya kusinceda sivelise iimpawu eziya kusenza sifikelele iimpawu zomtshato ezifunekayo ngokweZibhalo. Phakathi kweembopheleleko ezinikwe amadoda nabafazi zezi zacatshulwa ngumpostile uPawulos: “Abafazi mabathobele amadoda abo njengakuyo iNkosi . . . Madoda, qhubekani nibathanda abafazi benu, kanye njengokuba noKristu walithandayo ibandla waza wazinikela ngenxa yalo . . . Amadoda afanele abathande abafazi bawo njengemizimba yawo. . . . Ngoko ke, ngamnye wenu makamthande umfazi wakhe njengoko ezithanda; ke yena umfazi, makabe nentlonelo enzulu ngendoda yakhe.” (Efese 5:22-33) Njengoko sinokubona, amazwi kaPawulos aphefumlelweyo abethelela uthando nentlonelo. Ukwenza ngokuvisisana nesi siluleko kuquka ukoyika uYehova. Kufuna ubani azibophelele ngentliziyo epheleleyo ngamaxesha amnandi nabuhlungu. AmaKristu aceba ukutshata afanele akwazi ukuyamkela le mbopheleleko.

Ukugqiba Ngexesha Oya Kutshata Ngalo

11. (a) Sisiphi isiluleko esiseZibhalweni esiphathelele ixesha lokutshata? (b) Nguwuphi umzekelo obonisa ubulumko bokulandela isiluleko seBhayibhile esibhalwe kweyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 7:36?

¹¹ Kubalulekile ukwazi ixesha esiya kuba sikulungele ngalo ukutshata. Ekubeni abantu belungela ukutshata ngamaxesha awahlukahlukeneyo, iZibhalo azichazi ukuba umntu umele atshate xa eneminyaka emingaphi. Noko ke, ziyabonisa ukuba kuhle ukulinda de ‘sidlule entlahleni yobutsha,’ xa iminqweno enamandla yesini ingenakuyiphazamisa ingqiqo yethu. (1 Korinte 7:36) UMichelle uthi: “Xa ndandibona abahlobo bam besenza amadinga yaye betshata, uninzi lwabo lukwiminyaka yeshumi elivisayo, maxa wambi kwakuba nzima ukusebenzisa esi siluleko. Kodwa ndaqonda ukuba esi siluleko sivela kuYehova, yaye usixelela kuphela oko kuyingenelo kuthi. Ngoxa ndandisalindile ngaphambi kokuba nditshate, ndakwazi ukunikela ingqalelo kulwalamano lwam noYehova yaye ndazuza amava ebomini, ekungenakwenzeka ukuba ube nawo xa usekwishumi elivisayo. Kwiminyaka ethile kamva, ndandikulungele ngakumbi ukusingatha iimbopheleleko kunye neengxaki ezivelayo emtshatweni.”

12. Kutheni kungebobulumko ukungxamela ukutshata ngoxa uselula?

¹² Abo bangxamela ukutshata ngoxa beselula ngokufuthi bafumanisa ukuba iintswelo neminqweno yabo iyatshintsha njengoko besiya bekhula. Bandule ke babone ukuba izinto ezazifudula ziyiminqweno yabo azisabalulekanga kangako. Omnye umKristu oselula wayezimisele ukutshata xa eneminyaka eli-16 ubudala. Uninakhulu nonina batshata benaloo minyaka. Xa umfana owayenomdla kuye engazange avume ukutshata naye ngelo xesha, wakhetha omnye umntu owayekulungele ukwenjenjalo. Noko ke, kamva wakhala kakhulu ngenxa yokwenza eso sigqibo ngokungxama.

13. Yiyiphi inkalo abasilela kuyo ngokufuthi abo batshata ngaphambi kwexesha?

¹³ Xa ucinga ngokutshata, kubalulekile ukuba ukhule engqondweni ukuze ukwazi ukuqonda konke okubandakanyekileyo. Ukutshata ngaphambi kwexesha kunokubangela iingxaki ezininzi ezo mhlawumbi isibini esiselula singenakukwazi ukuzisingatha. Sisenokungabi nawo amava nokuqola okuyimfuneko ukuze sihlangabezane neengxaki zomtshato nokukhulisa abantwana. Sifanele sitshate kuphela xa sele siqolile, engqondweni nangokomoya sikulungele ukuqalisa ulwalamano oluhlala luhleli.

14. Yintoni efunekayo ukuze kusingathwe iingxaki zomtshato?

¹⁴ UPawulos wabhala esithi abo batshatayo “baya kuba nembandezelo enyameni yabo.” (1 Korinte 7:28) Ziya kuvela iingxaki kuba baneempawu zobuntu ezahlukileyo yaye neembono ziya kwahluka. Ngenxa yokungafezeki, kusenokuba nzima ukuphumeza indima yethu kwilungiselelo lomtshato, leyo ichazwa ziZibhalo. (1 Korinte 11:3; Kolose 3:18, 19; Tito 2:4, 5; 1 Petros 3:1, 2, 7) Kufuneka umntu oqolileyo nozinzileyo ngokomoya onokukwazi ukufuna aze alandele ulwalathiso lukaThixo ukuze akwazi ukulungisa iingxaki ngothando.

15. Yiyiphi indima enokwenziwa ngabazali ekuxhobiseleni abantwana babo umtshato? Zekelisa.

¹⁵ Abazali banokuxhobisela abantwana babo umtshato ngokubanceda baqonde ukubaluleka kokulandela ulwalathiso lukaThixo. Ngokusebenzisa iZibhalo neempapasho zamaKristu ngobuchule, abazali banokubanceda abantwana babo babone enoba bona okanye abo baza kuba ngamaqabane abo bakulungele kusini na ukuzibophelela emtshatweni.a UBlossom oneminyaka eli-18 ubudala wayecinga ukuba bayathandana nomfana owayesebandleni lakhe. Lo mfana wayengumlungiseleli wexesha elizeleyo onguvulindlela, yaye babefuna ukutshata. Kodwa abazali bakaBlossom bamcela ukuba alinde unyaka, bevakalelwa kukuba wayesemncinane kakhulu. Kamva uBlossom wabhala: “Ndinombulelo ongazenzisiyo kuba ndaliphulaphula elo cebiso lobulumko. Ngaloo nyaka, ndakhula yaye ndaqalisa ukubona ukuba lo mfana wayengenazo iimpawu zeqabane lomtshato elifanelekileyo. Ekugqibeleni wayishiya intlangano, yaye ndasinda kwintlekele engeyayindehlele. Hayi indlela okuluvuyo ngayo ukuba nabazali abazizilumko endinokukwazi ukuthembela kwizigqibo abazenzayo!”

‘Tshata Kuphela ENkosini’

16. (a) Anokuvavanywa njani amaKristu ngokubhekisele ‘ekutshateni eNkosini’? (b) Ufanele acinge ngantoni umKristu xa elingwa ukuba atshate nomntu ongakholwayo?

¹⁶ AmaKristu anikwe ulwalathiso olucacileyo nguYehova oluthi: ‘Tshata kuphela eNkosini.’ (1 Korinte 7:39) Abazali abangamaKristu nabantwana babo banokuvavanywa kule nkalo. Njani? Abantu abaselula banokunqwenela ukutshata, kodwa amaqabane asenokungafumaneki ebandleni. Okanye masithi kubonakala kunjalo. Amadoda asenokuba mbalwa kunamabhinqa kwiindawo ezithile, okanye kusenokubonakala kungekho mntu ufanelekileyo kuloo ndawo. Umfana ongelolungu lebandla elizahluleleyo unokubonakalisa umdla kwibhinqa eliselula elingumKristu (okanye ibhinqa elingelolungu lebandla elizahluleleyo linokubonakalisa umdla kumfana ongumKristu) yaye lisenokutyekela ekufuneni ukulalanisa kwimilinganiselo emiselwe nguYehova. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, bekuya kuba kuhle ukucinga ngomzekelo ka-Abraham. Enye indlela awalondoloza ngayo ulwalamano oluhle awayenalo noThixo yaba kukuqinisekisa ukuba unyana wakhe uIsake utshata nomnquli wokwenyaniso kaYehova. NoIsake wenza okufanayo kunyana wakhe uYakobi. Oku kwakufuna umgudu kubo bonke abo babebandakanyekile, kodwa kwamkholisa uThixo yaye wabasikelela.—Genesis 28:1-4.

17. Kutheni ukutshata nomntu ongakholwayo kunokuba yingozi, yaye sisiphi esona sizathu sibalulekileyo ‘sokutshata kuphela eNkosini’?

¹⁷ Kwiimeko ezimbalwa umntu ongakholwayo ugqibela ngokuba ngumKristu. Noko ke, ukutshata nabantu abangakholwayo ngokufuthi kuye kwaba yintlekele yodwa. Abo babotshwe edyokhweni kunye nabangakholwayo baneenkolelo nemilinganiselo okanye usukelo olungafaniyo nolwabo. (2 Korinte 6:14) Oku kunokuba yingozi kunxibelelwano nakulonwabo lomtshato. Ngokomzekelo, omnye umfazi ongumKristu wayekhalaza kakhulu ngenxa yokuba emva kwentlanganiso eyakhayo, wayengenakukwazi ukuya ekhaya aze axubushe izinto zokomoya nomyeni wakhe ongakholwayo. Kakade ke, eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kukuba ‘ukutshata eNkosini’ ngumbandela wokunyaniseka kuYehova. Xa sisenza ngokuvisisana neLizwi likaThixo, iintliziyo zethu azisigwebi, kuba senza ‘okukholekileyo emehlweni akhe.’—1 Yohane 3:21, 22.

18. Xa ubani ecinga ngomtshato, yiyiphi imibandela ebalulekileyo amele anikele ingqalelo kuyo, yaye ngoba?

¹⁸ Xa sicinga ngokutshata, eyona nto simele siyixhalabele ngokuyintloko sisidima nemeko yokomoya yaloo mntu uza kuba liqabane lethu. Ubuntu bobuKristu, kunye nokuthanda uThixo nokuzinikela kuye ngomphefumlo uphela, kuxabiseke kakhulu ngaphezu komtsalane wangaphandle. Abo bayiqondayo nabayiphumezayo imbopheleleko yabo yokuba ngamaqabane omtshato omeleleyo ngokomoya bafumana inkoliseko kaThixo. Yaye eyona nto yenza isibini siphumelele ngakumbi kukuzinikela kwamaqabane omabini kuMdali aze amkele ulwalathiso lwakhe ngokuzeleyo. Ngale ndlela abeka uYehova, yaye umtshato wakhelwa kwisiseko esiqinileyo sokomoya, nto leyo eya kuba negalelo kumanyano oluhlala luhleli.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

Ubuya Kuphendula Njani?

• Kutheni kufuneka ulwalathiso lukaThixo xa ubani ekhetha iqabane lomtshato elifanelekileyo?

• Uzinikelo lobuthixo luya kunceda njani ekomelezeni iqhina lomtshato?

• Abazali banokubaxhobisela njani abantwana babo umtshato?

• Kutheni kubalulekile ‘ukutshata kuphela eNkosini’?

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 17]

Ukusebenzisa isiluleko sikaThixo xa ukhetha iqabane kunokukhokelela kulonwabo olungakumbi

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 18]

Iintsikelelo ezityebileyo zifumaneka ‘ngokutshata kuphela eNkosini’