Uvelwano—Lusinceda Sibe Nobubele Nemfesane
UHELEN KELLER wabhala wathi: “Ukuba nje unokuthomalalisa intlungu yomnye umntu, ubomi abulolize.” Ngokuqinisekileyo, lo kaKeller wayeyiqonda intlungu yomphefumlo. Xa wayeneenyanga ezili-19 ubudala, wagula waza wayimfama yaye wasisithulu. Kodwa umfundisi-ntsapho onovelwano wafundisa uHelen ukufunda nokubhala ngeBraille yaye kamva, wamfundisa nokuthetha.
UAnn Sullivan, owayengumfundisi-ntsapho kaKeller, wayeyazi kakuhle intlungu yokulwisana nesiphene. Naye waphantse waba yimfama. Kodwa, ngomonde uAnn wenza indlela yokunxibelelana noHelen “ngokubhala” unobumba omnye ngexesha esandleni sikaHelen. Echukunyiswe luvelwano awayenalo lo mfundisi-ntsapho wakhe, uHelen wagqiba kwelokuba azinikele ukuze ancede iimfama nezithulu. Emva kokuba ephumelele kuloo migudu yakhe yokulwisana neso siphene sakhe, waba novelwano ngabo babekwimeko efana neyakhe. Wafuna ukubanceda.
Mhlawumbi uye waphawula ukuba kweli hlabathi linabantu abazingcayo, kulula ukuba ‘ubani azivalele iimfesane zakhe kuye’ aze angazikhathaleli iintswelo zabanye. (1 Yohane 3:17) Noko ke, amaKristu ayalelwa ukuba abathande abamelwane bawo aze nawo athandane ngokunzulu. (Mateyu 22:39; 1 Petros 4:8) Ukanti, mhlawumbi uyabuqonda ubunyaniso boku: Nangona sikufuna ngokunyanisekileyo ukuthandana, ngokufuthi siyasilela ukusebenzisa amathuba okuthuthuzela abanye kwintlungu yabo. Oku kusenokubangelwa kukungaziqondi iintswelo zabo. Uvelwano lunokusinceda sibonise ububele nemfesane.
Yintoni Uvelwano?
Esinye isichazi-magama sithi uvelwano “kukuqonda imeko, iimvakalelo neentshukumisa zomnye umntu.” Luye lwachazwa nangokuthi kukukwazi ukuzibeka kwimeko yomnye umntu. Ngoko ke, ukuze sibe novelwano sifanele kuqala siqonde imeko akuyo omnye umntu yaye okwesibini sithelekelele indlela avakalelwa ngayo loo mntu ngenxa yaloo meko. Ewe, uvelwano luquka ukuva intlungu yomnye umntu entliziyweni yethu.
IZibhalo zisebenzisa iindlela ezahlukahlukeneyo xa zithetha ngolu phawu sixubusha ngalo apha. Umpostile uPetros waluleka amaKristu ukuba ‘avelane, abe nomsa wobuzalwana nemfesane.’ (1 Petros 3:8) Igama lesiGrike eliguqulelwe ngokuthi “uvelwano” ngokoqobo lithetha “ukubandezeleka nomnye umntu” okanye “ukuba nemfesane.” Umpostile uPawulos wanikela icebiso elifanayo xa wabongoza amaKristu ukuba ‘abe nemihlali kunye nabantu abanemihlali; alile kunye nabantu abalilayo.’ UPawulos wongezelela wathi: “Nyamekelanani.” (Roma 12:15, 16) Ngaba akuvumi ukuba bekuya kuba nzima ukuthanda ummelwane wethu njengoko sizithanda xa singenako ukuzibeka kwimeko akuyo?
Ngokwemvelo, phantse wonke umntu unalo uvelwano ngomlinganiselo othile. Ngubani umntu ongachukumisekiyo xa ebona imifanekiso elusizi yabantwana abathwaxwe yindlala okanye iimbacu ezixhwalekileyo? Nguwuphi umama onothando onokungamkhathaleli umntwana wakhe olilayo? Kodwa asilulo lonke uhlobo lokubandezeleka olubonakala ngokukhawuleza. Hayi indlela ekunzima ngayo ukuqonda indlela avakalelwa ngayo umntu odandathekileyo, onesiphene esithile esingabonakaliyo, okanye onengxaki yokutya ngendlela engalungelelananga—ukuba asizange sibe nazo iingxaki ezinjalo! Sekunjalo, iZibhalo zibonisa ukuba sinako yaye sifanele sihlakulele ukuba novelwano ngabo bakwimeko engafaniyo neyethu.
Imizekelo EseZibhalweni Yabantu Abanovelwano
UYehova ngowona mzekelo wethu ubalaseleyo ekubonakaliseni uvelwano. Nangona efezekile, akalindelanga ukuba sifezeke, “kuba yena uyakwazi ukuyilwa kwethu, ekhumbula ukuba siluthuli.” (INdumiso 103:14; Roma 5:12) Ngaphezu koko, ekubeni eziqonda iintsilelo zethu, ‘akasiyekeli sihendwe ngaphaya koko sinokukuthwala.’ (1 Korinte 10:13) Esebenzisa abakhonzi bakhe nomoya wakhe, uyasinceda sifumane isicombululo.—Yeremiya 25:4, 5; IZenzo 5:32.
UYehova uyayiva intlungu eviwa ngabantu bakhe. KumaYuda awayevela eBhabhiloni wathi: “Ochukumisa nina uchukumisa ukhozo lweliso lam.” (Zekariya 2:8) Eqonda kakuhle ukuba uThixo unovelwano, umbhali weBhayibhile uDavide wathi kuye: “Iinyembezi zam zifake kwintsuba yakho. Ngaba azikho encwadini yakho?” (INdumiso 56:8) Hayi indlela ekuthuthuzela ngayo ukwazi ukuba uYehova akazilibali—ngokungathi zibhalwe encwadini—iinyembezi zabakhonzi bakhe abathembekileyo abalilayo njengoko bezabalazela ukugcina ingqibelelo yabo!
NjengoYise osemazulwini, uYesu Kristu uyikhathalele indlela abavakalelwa ngayo abanye. Xa wayephilisa indoda esisithulu, wayibizela ecaleni, mhlawumbi ukwenzela ukuba ingabi neentloni okanye yothuke xa iphiliswa ngokungummangaliso. (Marko 7:32-35) Ngesinye isihlandlo, uYesu wabona umhlolokazi othile owayeza kungcwaba unyana okuphela kwakhe. Ngoko nangoko wayithelekelela intlungu awayekuyo loo mhlolokazi, wasondela kolo ngcelele lwabantu ababesiya kungcwaba, waza wamvusa loo mfana.—Luka 7:11-16.
Emva kokuvuswa kwakhe, uYesu wabonakala kuSawule owayesendleleni eya eDamasko, waxelela uSawule indlela awayevakalelwa ngayo ngokutshutshisa kwakhe abafundi bakhe ngenkohlakalo. Wathi kuye: “NdinguYesu, lo umtshutshisayo.” (IZenzo 9:3-5) UYesu wayeyiva intlungu eyayiviwa ngabafundi bakhe, njengomama ova intlungu eviwa ngumntwana wakhe ogulayo. Ngokufanayo, njengoMbingeleli wethu Omkhulu wasezulwini, uYesu “uyavelana nobuthathaka bethu.”—Hebhere 4:15.
Umpostile uPawulos wafunda ukuba novelwano ngeembandezelo neemvakalelo zabanye. Wabuza: “Ngubani na obuthathaka, ndize mna ndingabi buthathaka? Ngubani na okhutyekiswayo, ndize mna ndingavakalelwa?” (2 Korinte 11:29) Xa ingelosi yakhulula uPawulos noSilas kwintolongo yaseFilipi ngokungummangaliso, into yokuqala eyacingwa nguPawulos yaba kukuxelela umgcini-ntolongo ukuba akukho mntu ubalekileyo. Ngovelwano wacinga ukuba umgcini-ntolongo wayesenokuzibulala. UPawulos wayesazi ukuba ngokwesiko lamaRoma, umgcini-ntolongo wayenokohlwaywa ngokuqatha xa ibanjwa libalekile—ngokukodwa ukuba ebeyalelwe ukuba aligcine ngokunqabisekileyo. (IZenzo 16:24-28) Esi senzo sobubele sikaPawulos sokusindisa ubomi samchukumisa umgcini-ntolongo, yaye yena nendlu yakhe bathabatha amanyathelo okuba ngamaKristu.—IZenzo 16:30-34.
Indlela Yokuhlakulela Ukuba Novelwano
IZibhalo zisikhuthaza ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuba sixelise uBawo wethu osemazulwini noNyana wakhe, uYesu Kristu, ngoko uvelwano luphawu esifanele siluhlakulele. Sinokukwenza njani oku? Zintathu iindlela ezibalulekileyo esinokwenza ngazo uphuculo ukuze sizikhathalele iintswelo neemvakalelo zabanye: kukuphulaphula, kukuba neliso elibukhali nokuzibeka kwimeko akuyo omnye umntu.
Phulaphula. Xa siphulaphula ngenyameko, siyaziqonda iingxaki abajamelana nazo abanye. Yaye okukhona siphulaphula, kokukhona benokusiphalazela imbilini yabo baze bachaze indlela abavakalelwa ngayo. UMiriam uthi: “Ndinokuthetha nomdala xa ndiqinisekile ukuba uza kundiphulaphula. Ndifuna ukwazi ukuba uyayiqonda kakuhle ingxaki endinayo. Ndiba nentembelo ngakumbi xa endigocagoca ngemibuzo ukubonisa ukuba ubephulaphule ngenyameko njengoko bendithetha naye.”
Yiba neliso elibukhali. Asingabo bonke abantu abaya kusixelela ngokukhululekileyo indlela abavakalelwa ngayo okanye iingxaki abatyhubela kuzo. Noko ke, umntu oneliso elibukhali uya kumbona omnye umKristu xa ebonakala ngathi udandathekile, xa okwishumi elivisayo eqalisa ukungafuni ukunxibelelana nabanye abantu, okanye xa umlungiseleli onenzondelelo ephelelwa lihlombe. Kubalulekile ukuba abazali babe nabo obu buchule bokubona ingxaki isaqala. UMarie uthi: “Ngandlel’ ithile, umama uyayazi indlela endivakalelwa ngayo ndingekathethi nokuthetha, ngoko kulula ukuba ndithethe naye ngokuphandle ngeengxaki zam.”
Zibeke kwimeko akuyo omnye umntu. Eyona ndlela ibalaseleyo yokuhlakulela uphawu lovelwano kukuzibuza: ‘Ukuba bendikule meko, bendiya kuvakalelwa njani? Bendiya kusabela njani? Yintoni ebendiya kuyifuna?’ Abathuthuzeli bakaYobhi bobuxoki abazange bakwazi ukuzibeka kwimeko awayekuyo. Ngenxa yoko, bamgxeka ngezono ezithile ababecinga ukuba uzenzile.
Ngokufuthi, kulula ukuba abantu abangafezekanga bagxeke abanye ngenxa yeempazamo abazenzayo kunokuba baqonde indlela abavakalelwa ngayo. Noko ke, ukuba sizama ukuthelekelela intlungu eviwa ngubani obandezelekileyo, oko kuya kusinceda sivelane naye kunokuba simgxeke. UJuan ongumdala onamava uthi: “Ndikwazi bhetele ukunikela isiluleko xa ndiphulaphula ngenyameko ndize ndizame ukuyiqonda kakuhle imeko ngaphambi kokuba ndiqalise ukunikela amacebiso.”
Iimpapasho ezisasazwa ngamaNgqina kaYehova ziye zanceda abaninzi ngokuphathelele le nkalo. Iphephancwadi IMboniselo noVukani! aye axubusha iingxaki ezintsonkothileyo, njengokudandatheka nokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana. Le nkcazelo isexesheni inceda abafundi babe novelwano ngakumbi ngendlela abavakalelwa ngayo abo batyhubela kwezo ntlungu. Ngokufanayo, incwadi ethi Imibuzo Yabantu Abaselula—Iimpendulo Eziluncedo iye yanceda abazali abaninzi ukuba baqonde iingxaki zabantwana babo.
Ukuba Novelwano Kuluncedo Xa Kusenziwa Imisebenzi YamaKristu
Bambalwa kuthi ebebenokungayikhathaleli imeko elusizi yomntwana olambileyo xa sinako ukutya esinokumnika kona. Xa sinovelwano, siya kuyiqonda nemeko yokomoya yomntu othile. IBhayibhile ithi ngoYesu: “Akubona izihlwele wazisizela, ngenxa yokuba zazihlinzekile, zilahliwe njengezimvu ezingenamalusi.” (Mateyu 9:36) Izigidi zabantu namhlanje zikwimeko efanayo ngokomoya, yaye zifuna uncedo.
Njengakumhla kaYesu, kusenokufuneka silwe nomoya wekhethe okanye isithethe esithile esendeleyo ukuze sifikelele iintliziyo zabantu abathile. Umlungiseleli onovelwano uzabalazela ukufumanisa into anokuvumelana ngayo nomphulaphuli okanye ukuthetha ngemibandela abacinga ngayo abantu ukuze enze isigidimi sakhe sibe nomtsalane ngakumbi. (IZenzo 17:22, 23; 1 Korinte 9:20-23) Izenzo zobubele zomntu oqhutywa luvelwano zinokwenza abo sithetha nabo basiphulaphule ngenyameko isigidimi sethu soBukumkani, njengoko kwaba njalo ngomgcini-ntolongo waseFilipi.
Ukuba novelwano kubaluleke gqitha ekusincedeni sizibethe ngoyaba iintsilelo zabanye ebandleni. Ukuba sizabalazela ukuqonda indlela avakalelwa ngayo umzalwana oye wasona, ngokungathandabuzekiyo siya kukufumanisa kulula gqitha ukumxolela. Mhlawumbi nathi besiya kusabela ngendlela efanayo xa besikwimeko efana neyakhe yaye sikwiimeko atyhubele kuzo. Uvelwano lukaYehova lumshukumisela ukuba ‘akhumbule ukuba siluthuli,’ ngoko ngaba uvelwano lwethu alufanele lusishukumisele ukuba sicinge ukuba abanye abafezekanga size ‘sibaxolele ngesisa’?—INdumiso 103:14; Kolose 3:13.
Ukuba kufuneka sinikele isiluleko, mhlawumbi siya kwenjenjalo ngendlela yobubele ngakumbi ukuba siyayiqonda indlela avakalelwa ngayo nendlela abuthathaka ngayo lowo wonileyo. Umdala ongumKristu onovelwano uyazikhumbuza: ‘Nam bendinokuyenza le mpazamo. Bendinokuba kwimeko akuyo lo mntu.’ Ngaloo ndlela uPawulos uthi: “Zamani ukumlungisa umntu onjalo ngomoya wobulali, nizilumkela ukuba ningahendwa nani.”—Galati 6:1.
Uvelwano lukwanokusishukumisela ukuba sinikele uncedo xa kusemandleni ethu ukwenjenjalo, kwanokuba omnye umKristu usenokuba mathidala ukucela uncedo. Umpostile uYohane uyabhala: “Nabani na onezinto zokuxhasa ubomi zeli hlabathi aze abone umzalwana wakhe eswele, kodwa azivalele iimfesane zakhe kuye, lungathini na ukuhlala kuye uthando lukaThixo? . . . Masingathandi ngazwi nangamlomo, kodwa ngezenzo nangenyaniso.”—1 Yohane 3:17, 18.
Ukuze sikwazi ukuthanda abanye “ngezenzo nangenyaniso,” kuqala sifanele sizibone iintswelo zomzalwana wethu. Ngaba sizijonga ngenyameko iintswelo zabanye ngenjongo yokubanceda? Kuthetha loo nto ke ukuba novelwano.
Hlakulela Uvelwano
Sisenokungabi ngabantu abanovelwano ngemvelo, ukanti sinako ukuluhlakulela olu phawu. Ukuba siphulaphula ngenyameko ngakumbi, sibe ngabantu abaneliso elibukhali, size sizibeke kwimeko yomnye umntu, uvelwano lwethu luya kukhula. Ngenxa yoko, siya kuziva sinyanzelekile ukubonakalisa uthando, ububele nemfesane ngakumbi kubantwana bethu, kwamanye amaKristu nakubamelwane bethu.
Ungaze uvumele ukuzingca kuphelise uvelwano onalo. UPawulos wabhala: “Ninyamekela, kungekuphela nje izilangazelelo zobuqu, kodwa kwanezilangazelelo zabanye.” (Filipi 2:4) Ikamva lethu elingunaphakade lixhomekeke kuvelwano lukaYehova noMbingeleli wakhe Omkhulu, uYesu Kristu. Ngaloo ndlela, sinembopheleleko yokuhlakulela olu phawu. Ukuba novelwano kwethu kuya kusinceda sibe ngabalungiseleli nabazali abaphumelelayo. Ngaphezu kwako konke, ukuba novelwano kuya kusinceda sifumanise ukuba “kunoyolo ngakumbi ukupha kunokwamkela.”—IZenzo 20:35.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 25]
Ukuba novelwano kuquka ukuba neliso elibukhali ukuze sibone iintswelo zabanye ngenjongo yokubanceda
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Ngaba siya kufunda ukubonisa uvelwano olubonakaliswa ngumama onothando ngokwemvelo emntwaneni wakhe