Ukunyaniseka Kuyingenelo

KWAMANYE amazwe, abantwana bayathanda ukufaka ameva kwiijezi zabanye xa bedlala. La meva athi nca kuboya bejezi enoba umntwana uyahamba, uyabaleka, uyashukuma okanye uyaxhumaxhuma. Ekuphela kwendlela anokusuka ngayo kukuwancothula. Ngumdlalo omnandi ke lowo ebantwaneni.

Kodwa ke, asinguye wonk’ umntu othandayo ukuba iimpahla zakhe zibe nameva kodwa iyamangalisa kumntu wonke indlela ameva athi nca ngayo empahleni. Nomntu onyanisekileyo unophawu olufanayo. Umntu onyanisekileyo uyanamathela kumhlobo wakhe. Enoba sele kunzima usoloko emenzela izinto ngokuthembeka. Igama elithi “ukunyaniseka” lisikhumbuza iimpawu ezifana nokunamathela nokuzinikela. Noko ke, ngoxa usenokuyixabisa into yokuba abantu banyaniseke kuwe, ngaba wena uzimisele ukunyaniseka kwabanye? Ukuba kunjalo, ufanele unyaniseke kubani?

Ukunyaniseka Emtshatweni—Kubalulekile

Ukunyaniseka emtshatweni yenye yezinto ezibalulekileyo kodwa okubuhlungu kukuba kulapho kunqongophele khona. Ukuthembeka kwendoda nomfazi kwizifungo zabo zomtshato—oko kukuthi, bahlale kunye banyamekelane—yeyona nto ibalulekileyo ikhokelela kulonwabo nonqabiseko. Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba abantu banomnqweno wemvelo wokunyaniseka kwabanye nowokuba abanye abantu banyaniseke kubo. Xa wayetshatisa uAdam noEva kumyezo wase-Eden, uThixo wathi: “Indoda iya kumshiya uyise nonina, inamathele emfazini wayo.” Ngokunjalo nomfazi wayefanele anamathele endodeni yakhe. Kwakufuneka indoda nomfazi bathembeke omnye komnye baze basebenzisane.—Genesis 2:24; Mateyu 19:3-9.

Eneneni, loo nto yathethwa kumawaka eminyaka eyadlulayo. Ngaba oko kuthetha ukuba ukunyaniseka emtshatweni kwaphelelwa lixesha? Abaninzi bangaphendula ngokuthi hayi. Abaphandi baseJamani bafumanisa ukuba abantu abangama-80 ekhulwini bagqala ukuthembeka emtshatweni njengento ebaluleke kakhulu. Kwenziwa uhlolisiso lwesibini ukuze kufunyaniswe olona phawu luthandwayo ngamadoda namabhinqa. Kwacelwa iqela lamadoda ukuba lidwelise iimpawu ezintlanu eziphambili elizithandayo kumabhinqa kwaza kwacelwa neqela lamabhinqa ukuba lidwelise iimpawu ezintlanu elizithandayo kumadoda. Olona phawu lwabalaseliswayo ngaloo madoda namabhinqa kukuthembeka.

Ewe, ukunyaniseka yinxalenye yesiseko esiqinileyo esenza ukuba umtshato uphumelele. Ukanti, njengoko siye saphawula kwinqaku elandulela eli, ukunyaniseka luphawu oluhle kodwa bambalwa abantu abanyanisekileyo. Ngokomzekelo, ukwanda koqhawulo-mtshato kumazwe amaninzi bubungqina bokuxhaphaka kokunganyaniseki. Izibini ezitshatileyo zinokuluxhathisa njani olu tyekelo zize zihlale zinyanisekile kumaqabane azo?

Ukunyaniseka Kuyawomeleza Umtshato

Ukunyaniseka kubonakaliswa ngokuthi amaqabane atshatileyo akhangele amathuba okuqinisekisa ukuzinikela kwawo omnye komnye. Ngokomzekelo, kudla ngokuba kuhle ukuthi “yethu” kunokuthi “yam”—“abahlobo bethu,” “abantwana bethu,” “umzi wethu,” “amava ethu,” njalo njalo. Xa beceba okanye besenza izigqibo—enoba ziphathelele indlu, umsebenzi, ukukhulisa abantwana, ukuzonwabisa, iholide okanye unqulo—kuhle ukuba indoda nomfazi bacingelane.—IMizekeliso 11:14; 15:22.

Ukunyaniseka kuboniswa ngokuthi iqabane lenze elinye lizive lixabisekile. Umntu otshatileyo uziva enganqabisekanga xa iqabane lakhe liqhelene ngokugqithiseleyo nomnye umntu wesini esahlukileyo. IBhayibhile iluleka amadoda ukuba anamathele ‘kubafazi bobutsha bawo.’ Indoda ayifanele ivumele intliziyo yayo ukuba inqwenele ukufumana ingqalelo yelinye ibhinqa elingengomfazi wayo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ifanele iphephe ukubandakanyeka kwihambo engafanelekanga nelinye ibhinqa. IBhayibhile inikela esi silumkiso: “Nabani na okrexeza nomfazi uswele intliziyo; owenza oko wonakalisa umphefumlo wakhe.” Kulindeleke ukuba nomfazi alandele loo mlinganiselo ufanayo wokuthembeka.—IMizekeliso 5:18; 6:32.

Ngaba ukuthembeka emtshatweni kuyingenelo? Kakade kuyingenelo. Kubangela ukuba umtshato uzinze uze womelele yaye qabane ngalinye liyangenelwa. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba indoda izinikele ekunyamekeleni umfazi wayo, umfazi uziva enqabisekile yaye oko kumenza avelise ezona mpawu zakhe zintle. Kuyafana nangendoda. Ukuzimisela ukunyaniseka emfazini wayo kuyinceda ihlakulele imigaqo yobulungisa kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bayo.

Xa indoda nomfazi bejamelene nobunzima obuthile, ukunyaniseka kubenza bobabini bazive benqabisekile. Kwelinye icala, xa amaqabane omtshato enganyanisekanga, kuthi kwakuvela iingxaki afune ukwahlukana okanye ukuqhawula umtshato. Endaweni yokuba oko kuzicombulule ezo ngxaki, kudla ngokubangela ezinye. Ngeminyaka yee-1980, enye indoda eyayinolwazi ngezefashoni yahlukana nomfazi nentsapho yayo. Ngaba yonwaba isakuba ihlala yodwa? Kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini kamva, yavuma ukuba ukwahlukana nentsapho yayo kwayishiya ‘ililolo yaye ikhathazekile, yayiphelelwa bubuthongo ebusuku ilangazelela ukuthi ebantwaneni bayo nilale kakuhle.’

Ukunyaniseka Phakathi Kwabazali Nabantwana

Xa abazali benyanisekile omnye komnye, nabantwana babo basenokufunda ukunyaniseka. Kamva, abantwana abakhuliselwe kwintsapho enabazali abanyanisekileyo nabanothando, baya kukufumanisa kulula ukuthembeka kumaqabane abo nakubazali babo xa sele bethwaxwa ziingxaki zokwaluphala.—1 Timoti 5:4, 8.

Kakade ke, ayisoloko ingabazali ababa yimilwelwe kuqala. Maxa wambi iye ibe ngumntwana ofuna ukunyanyekelwa. Baba kuloo meko uHerbert noGertrud—abangamaNgqina kaYehova—isithuba esingaphezu kweminyaka engama-40. Unyana wabo uDietmar, wagula ubomi bakhe bonke ephethwe yimuscular dystrophy. Kwiminyaka esixhenxe yokugqibela ngaphambi kokuba afe ngoNovemba 2002, uDietmar kwafuneka anyanyekelwe imini nobusuku. Abazali bakhe bazinyamekela iintswelo zakhe ngokunothando. Bada bafakela nomatshini wezonyango kwikhaya labo baza baqeqeshelwa nokumnyamekela. Onjani ukuba mhle umzekelo wokunyaniseka kwentsapho!

Ukunyaniseka Kubalulekile Kubahlobo

UBirgit uthi: “Umntu unokonwaba xa engenalo iqabane lomtshato kodwa kunzima ukuba onwabe xa engenamhlobo.” Mhlawumbi nawe uyavumelana naye. Enoba utshatile okanye akutshatanga, umhlobo onyanisekileyo uya kukwenza wonwabe yaye uya kubunandipha ubomi. Kakade ke ukuba utshatile, iqabane lakho lomtshato lifanele libe ngoyena mhlobo wakho usenyongweni.

Umhlobo asingomntu nje omqhelileyo. Basenokuba baninzi abantu esibaqhelileyo—abamelwane, abantu esisebenza nabo, nabo sidla ngokudibana nabo. Ubuhlobo bokwenene bufuna ixesha, amandla nokuzinikela. Ukuba ngumhlobo womntu lilungelo. Ubuhlobo buneengenelo kodwa kukho neembopheleleko ezibandakanyekileyo.

Kufuneka sibe nonxibelelwano oluhle kunye nabahlobo bethu. Maxa wambi kubakho isizathu sokuba unxibelelwano olunjalo lube yimfuneko. UBirgit uthi: “Xa omnye wethu enengxaki mna nomhlobo wam sifowunelana kanye okanye kabini ngeveki. Kuyavuyisa ukwazi ukuba ndinomhlobo yaye ukulungele ukuphulaphula.” Ukuba nomhlobo ohlala kude, akufunekanga kube ngumqobo. UGerda noHelga bahlulwe ngumgama ongamawaka eekhilomitha kodwa bebengabahlobo abasenyongweni isithuba esingaphezu kweminyaka engama-35. UGerda uthi: “Siyabhalelana rhoqo, sibaliselane amava, siphalazelane imbilini enoba ngamava avuyisayo okanye abuhlungu. Ndivuya gqitha xa ndifumana ileta evela kuHelga. Sinotyekelo olufanayo.”

Ukunyaniseka kubalulekile kubahlobo. Ukunganyaniseki kusenokuphelisa nobuhlobo okudala bukho. Kuqhelekile ukuba abahlobo bacebisane kwanakwimibandela eyimfihlelo. Umntu uzityand’ igila kumhlobo wakhe engoyiki ukuba uza kumgxeka okanye ahambe ethetha ngaye. IBhayibhile ithi: “Iqabane lokwenyaniso lithanda ngamaxesha onke, yaye lingumzalwana ozalelwe ixesha lokubandezeleka.”—IMizekeliso 17:17.

Ekubeni abahlobo bephembelela indlela esicinga ngayo, esivakalelwa ngayo nesenza ngayo izinto, kubalulekile ukuba sakhe ubuhlobo nabantu abanemilinganiselo yokuziphatha efana neyethu. Ngokomzekelo, qiniseka ukuba wakha ubuhlobo nabantu abaneenkolelo ezifana nezakho nabanembono efana neyakho ngokuphathelele imilinganiselo yokuziphatha nangokuphathelele oko kulungileyo nokuphosakeleyo. Abahlobo abanjalo baya kukunceda ufikelele usukelo lwakho. Ngapha koko, kutheni ufuna ukuba ngumhlobo womntu onemilinganiselo yokuziphatha engafaniyo neyakho? IBhayibhile ibonisa ukubaluleka kokukhetha abahlobo abafanelekileyo xa isithi: “Ohamba nezilumko uya kuba sisilumko naye, kodwa osebenzisana neziyatha uya kuhlelwa bububi.”—IMizekeliso 13:20.

Ukunyaniseka Kunokufundwa

Xa umntwana efunda ukufaka ameva kwimpahla yomnye, kusenokwenzeka ukuba akayi kufuna ukuyeka ukudlala loo mdlalo. Kunjalo nangomntu onyanisekileyo. Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba xa sisoloko sibonakalisa ukunyaniseka kuya kusiba lula ngakumbi ukuhlakulela olu phawu. Ukuba umntu uqala esemncinane ukunyaniseka entsatsheni, uya kukufumanisa kulula ukunyaniseka kubahlobo. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, ubuhlobo obunjalo ukuba luqilima bunokukhokelela ekuthini umntu anyaniseke emtshatweni. Buya kumnceda ukuba anyaniseke nakolona lwalamano lubaluleke gqitha.

UYesu wathi owona myalelo mkhulu ngowokuthanda uYehova uThixo ngentliziyo, umphefumlo, ingqondo namandla ethu ephela. (Marko 12:30) Oku kuthetha ukuba sifanele sinyaniseke ngokupheleleyo kuThixo. Ukunyaniseka kuYehova uThixo kuyingenelo kakhulu. Akasayi kuze asiphoxe okanye asidanise, kuba ebhekisela kuye siqu, uthi: “Ndinyanisekile.” (Yeremiya 3:12) Eneneni, ukunyaniseka okanye ukuthembeka kuThixo kuzisa iingenelo ezingunaphakade.—1 Yohane 2:17.

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 6]

Umhlobo onyanisekileyo uya kukwenza wonwabe

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 5]

Amalungu entsapho anyanisekileyo ayanyamekelana