Ukuthetha Ngobubele Kubangela Uxolo
“Amazwi enu makasoloko ekholekile.”—KOL. 4:6.
1, 2. Kwenzeka ntoni komnye umzalwana emva kokuba ethethe ngobubele?
OMNYE umzalwana uthi: “Xa ndandishumayela kwindlu ngendlu, ndadibana nenye indoda eyaba lugcwabevu ngumsindo kangangokuba imilebe yayo yayibebezela nomzimba wayo ungcangcazela wonke. Ndazama ukuqiqa nayo ngeZibhalo ngomoya ozolileyo kodwa yaba nomsindo nangakumbi. Kwangenelela umfazi wayo nabantwana nabo bandinyelisa yaye ndaqonda ukuba kubhetele ndimke kwelo khaya. Ndabaqinisekisa ukuba bendize kubo ngomoya woxolo yaye ndinqwenela ukumka ngoxolo. Ndababonisa eyabaseGalati 5:22, 23, apho kuthethwa ngothando, ubulali, ukuzeyisa noxolo. Emva koko ndemka.
2 “Kamva, xa ndityelela kwamanye amakhaya kwisitrato esikufuphi nesale ntsapho, ndababona behleli ezitepsini. Bandibiza. Ndazibuza, ‘Inoba baza kuthini bethu ngoku?’ Le ndoda yayiphethe ijagi enamanzi abandayo yaza yandipha ukuba ndisele. Yacela uxolo ngokuba krwada yaza yandincoma ngokuba nokholo olomeleleyo. Sahlukana ngoxolo.”
3. Kutheni singamele sizivumele sicatshukiswe ngabanye?
3 Kwihlabathi lanamhlanje elinabantu abaxinezelekileyo, asinakukuphepha ukudibana nabantu abanomsindo nkqu nasentsimini. Xa sidibana nabantu abanjalo, kubalulekile ukuba sibonakalise ‘umoya wobulali nentlonelo enzulu.’ (1 Pet. 3:15) Ukuba umzalwana okhankanywe ngasentla wayeye wacatshukiswa yindoda eyayilugcwabevu ngumsindo nengazange imphathe kakuhle, mhlawumbi le ndoda ngeyayingazange itshintshe isimo sengqondo sayo; mhlawumbi yayiza kuba nomsindo ngakumbi. Ngenxa yokuba lo mzalwana wawubamba umsindo wakhe waza wathetha ngobubele nayo, isimo sengqondo sayo satshintsha.
Sinokuthetha Njani Ngobubele?
4. Kutheni kubalulekile ukuthetha ngobubele?
4 Enoba sithetha nabantu abangekho sebandleni okanye abangaphakathi ebandleni, kuquka amalungu eentsapho zethu, kubalulekile ukuba silandele esi siluleko sikampostile uPawulos: “Amazwi enu makasoloko ekholekile, enongwe ngetyuwa.” (Kol. 4:6) Kubalulekile ukusebenzisa amazwi amnandi ukuze kubekho unxibelelwano oluhle noxolo.
5. Unxibelelwano oluhle aluthethi kuthini? Zekelisa.
5 Unxibelelwano oluhle aluthethi kuthi ufanele uthethe yonke into oyicingayo uchaze nendlela ovakalelwa ngayo ingakumbi xa ucaphuka. IZibhalo zibonisa ukuba ukudubuleka ngomsindo bubuthathaka, akulophawu luhle. (Funda iMizekeliso 25:28; 29:11.) UMoses—‘owayeyeyona ndoda ilulamileyo’ kunabo bonke abantu ababephila ngelo xesha—wakha wacatshukiswa luhlanga lwakwaSirayeli olwaluvukela waza ngenxa yoko wasilela ukuzukisa uThixo. UMoses wayichaza ngokucacileyo indlela awayevakalelwa ngayo kodwa uYehova akazange akholiswe koko. Emva kokukhokela amaSirayeli iminyaka engama-40, uMoses waphulukana nelungelo lokuwangenisa kwiLizwe Lesithembiso.—Num. 12:3; 20:10, 12; INdu. 106:32.
6. Kuthetha ukuthini ukubonisa ingqiqo xa sithetha nabanye?
6 IZibhalo zikhuthaza ukuba sizibambe yaye sibe nengqiqo xa sithetha nabanye. “Ebuninzini bamazwi akusweleki kunxaxha, kodwa oyinqandayo imilebe yakhe wenza ngokunengqiqo.” (IMize. 10:19; 17:27) Ukuba nengqiqo akuthethi kuthi akumele uyichaze indlela ovakalelwa ngayo. Kuthetha ukuthetha ngendlela ‘ekholekileyo,’ usebenzise ulwimi ngendlela eyakhayo kunokuba ukhathaze abanye.—Funda iMizekeliso 12:18; 18:21.
“Ixesha Lokuthi Cwaka Nexesha Lokuthetha”
7. Ziziphi izinto esingafanele sizenze yaye ngoba?
7 Kanye njengokuba sifanele sithethe ngobubele yaye sizibambe xa sithetha nabantu esisebenza nabo okanye esidibana nabo entsimini, sifanele senze okufanayo ebandleni nasekhaya. Ukudubuleka ngomsindo ungacinganga kunokubangela ingxaki kuwe nakwabanye. (IMize. 18:6, 7) Xa ukhathazekile—nto leyo ibangelwa kukungafezeki—kufuneka uzibambe. Ukuthuka, ukugculela, ukunyelisa, nokuba nengqumbo akufanelekanga. (Kol. 3:8; Yak. 1:20) Ezi zinto zinokonakalisa ulwalamano lwethu nabanye kunye noYehova. UYesu wathi: “Wonk’ ubani oqhubeka equmbele umzalwana wakhe uya kuphenduliswa kwinkundla yokusesikweni; kodwa nabani na obiza umzalwana wakhe ngegama elingathethekiyo lendelelo uya kuphenduliswa kwiNkundla Ephakamileyo; kanti nabani na othi, ‘Sidengendini esingento yanto!’ uya kuba sisisulu somlilo weGehena.”—Mat. 5:22.
8. Kunini apho sifanele sichaze indlela esivakalelwa ngayo kodwa sinokukwenza njani oku?
8 Ngamanye amaxesha sisenokuvakalelwa kukuba, kubhetele siyichaze indlela esivakalelwa ngayo. Ukuba ukhathazwe yinto ethethwe okanye eyenziwe ngumzalwana wakho yaye akunakusuka nje uyilibale, musa ukufukama ingqumbo. (IMize. 19:11) Xa kukho umntu okucaphukisileyo, zama ukuthothisa umsindo kuqala uze emva koko uthabathe amanyathelo afanelekileyo ukuze ulungise loo mbambano. UPawulos wabhala: “Malingatshoni ilanga nicaphukile.” Kuba ungakwazi ukulibala ngale ngxaki, xa kuvela ithuba elifanelekileyo yilungise ngobubele. (Funda eyabase-Efese 4:26, 27, 31, 32.) Xa uthetha nomzalwana wakho ngale ngxaki, chaza yonke into kodwa uthethe ngobubele ngenjongo yokuba nixolelane.—Lev. 19:17; Mat. 18:15.
9. Kutheni sifanele silinde de umsindo uthothe ngaphambi kokuba siye kuthetha nomntu esinengxaki naye?
9 Kakade ke, ufanele ukwenze oku ngexesha elifanelekileyo. Kukho “ixesha lokuthi cwaka nexesha lokuthetha.” (INtshu. 3:1, 7) Ngaphezulu, “intliziyo yelungisa iyayicamngca impendulo.” (IMize. 15:28) Oku kunokuquka ukulinda de kuvele ixesha elifanelekileyo lokulungisa ingxaki. Ukulungisa ingxaki ucaphukile kunokubangela ukuba imeko ibe mbi ngakumbi; kodwa asibobulumko nokulinda ixesha elide kakhulu.
Izenzo Zobubele Zibangela Ukuba Kubekho Ulwalamano Oluhle
10. Izenzo zobubele zinokuluphuchula njani ulwalamano lwethu nabanye?
10 Ukuthetha ngobubele nokunxibelelana kakuhle nabanye kunokusinceda sihlale sinolwalamano oluhle nabo. Eneneni, xa sisenza unako-nako ukuphucula ulwalamano lwethu nabanye siya kuphucula nendlela esithetha ngayo nabo. Ukwenzela abanye ububele—ukunikela uncedo xa kuvela ithuba, ukubapha izipho ngokusuk’ entliziyweni nokubuk’ iindwendwe—kunokuvula amathuba onxibelelwano. Kunokude ‘kufumbe amalahle omlilo’ emntwini kuze kuvelise iimpawu zakhe ezintle yaye oko kunokubangela ukuba kube lula ukucombulula iingxaki.—Roma 12:20, 21.
11. UYakobi wamthomalalisa njani uEsawu ibe oko kwaba nayiphi imiphumo?
11 Usolusapho uYakobi wayekuqonda oku. Iwele lakhe, uEsawu, lalimqumbele kangangokuba uYakobi wabaleka esoyika ukuba uEsawu uza kumbulala. Emva kweminyaka emininzi, uYakobi wabuya. UEsawu wamkhawulela ehamba namadoda angama-400. UYakobi wathandaza kuYehova ecela uncedo. Emva koko wathumela imfuyo eninzi njengesipho kuEsawu. Esi sipho sayiphumeza indima yaso. Bathi bedibana, yabe intliziyo kaEsawu inyibilikile, yaye waya kuYakobi ebaleka waza wamwola.—Gen. 27:41-44; 32:6, 11, 13-15; 33:4, 10.
Khuthaza Abanye Ngokuthetha Nabo Ngobubele
12. Kutheni sifanele sithethe ngobubele nabazalwana bethu?
12 AmaKristu akhonza uThixo kungekhona abanye abantu. Sekunjalo, siyakufuna ukuthandwa ngabanye abantu. Amazwi ethu obubele anokubahlaziya abazalwana noodadewethu. Noko ke, xa sibagxeka ngokugqithiseleyo abanye, basenokuziva becinezelekile baze bathandabuze enoba uYehova uyakholiswa ngabo kusini na. Ngoko ke, masibakhuthaze abanye ngendlela esithetha ngayo, ilizwi esilithethayo ‘libe lelilungele ukwakha njengoko kusenokuba yimfuneko, ukuze libanike oko kukholekileyo abevayo.’—Efe. 4:29.
13. Abadala bafanele bakhumbule ntoni (a) xa benikela isiluleko? (b) xa bebhala iileta?
13 Abadala bafanele ngokukhethekileyo ‘bathantamise’ baze baphathe umhlambi ngononophelo. (1 Tes. 2:7, 8) Xa abadala benikela isiluleko, bafanele bathethe “ngobulali” kwanaxa bethetha nabo “bangenalutyekelo luhle.” (2 Tim. 2:24, 25) Abadala bafanele bathethe ngobubele xa bebhalela abadala abakwelinye ibandla okanye kwiofisi yesebe. Bafanele babe nobubele baze bathethe ngobuchule, ngokuvisisana noko kubhalwe kuMateyu 7:12.
Ukuthetha Ngobubele Entsatsheni
14. Sisiphi isiluleko uPawulos asinika amadoda yaye ngoba?
14 Sisenokungayiqondi indlela amazwi ethu, inkangeleko yethu yobuso nezimbo zethu zomzimba ezinokubachaphazela ngayo abanye. Ngokomzekelo, amanye amadoda asenokungayiqondi indlela amazwi awo anokuhlaba ngayo kumabhinqa. Omnye udade wathi, “Ndiye ndoyike xa umyeni wam ethetha nam ngomsindo.” Amazwi arhabaxa anokumenza buhlungu ngakumbi umfazi kunendoda yaye usenokungaze awalibale. (Luka 2:19) La mazwi aba buhlungu nangakumbi emfazini, xa ethethwa ngumntu amthandayo namhlonelayo. UPawulos waluleka amadoda ngala mazwi: “Hlalani nibathanda abafazi benu, ningavuthi ngumsindo ngakubo.”—Kol. 3:19.
15. Yenza umzekelo obonisa isizathu sokuba indoda ifanele imthantamise umfazi wayo.
15 Ethetha ngalo mbandela, omnye umzalwana oqolileyo notshatileyo wenza umzekelo obonisa ukuba indoda ifanele imthantamise umfazi wayo, imphathe “njengesitya esibuthathaka.” Wathi, “Xa uphethe ivazi exabisekileyo ne-ethe ethe, awumele uyiqinise kakhulu kuba ingaqhekeka. Kwanokuba ingangcitywa, iya kuhlala ineentanda. Ukuba indoda ithetha rhabaxa nomfazi wayo, inokumenza buhlungu. Oku kusenokonakalisa ulwalamano lwabo.”—Funda eyoku-1 kaPetros 3:7.
16. Umfazi unokuyakha njani intsapho yakhe?
16 Namadoda asenokukhuthazwa okanye adinyazwe ngamazwi athethwa ngabanye, kuquka abafazi bawo. “Umfazi oyingqondi,” lowo indoda yakhe ‘inokukholosa’ ngaye, uyazicingela iimvakalelo zendoda yakhe kanye njengokuba naye efuna ukuba yenjenjalo. (IMize. 19:14; 31:11) Eneneni, umfazi unokuba nempembelelo entle okanye embi entsatsheni. “Umfazi osisilumko ngokwenene uyayakha indlu yakhe, kodwa osisidenge uyayichitha ngezandla zakhe.”—IMize. 14:1.
17. (a) Abaselula bafanele bathethe njani nabazali babo? (b) Abakhulileyo bafanele bathethe njani nabaselula yaye ngoba?
17 Abazali nabantwana bafanele bathethe ngobubele. (Mat. 15:4) Xa sithetha nabaselula, sifanele sibacingele ukuze ‘singabacaphukisi.’ (Kol. 3:21; Efe. 6:4) Kwanaxa abantwana kufuneka beqeqeshiwe, abazali nabadala bafanele bathethe nabo ngembeko. Xa besenza oku, abantu abakhulileyo babangela ukuba abaselula balungise iindlela zabo baze bahlale benolwalamano oluhle noThixo. Oko kuya kubanceda bangacingi ukuba sithi bangooncanyelweni, kuba loo nto iya kubangela ukuba nabo banikezele. Abaselula basenokungazikhumbuli zonke izinto abazixelelwayo, kodwa baya kuyikhumbula indlela ekwathethwa ngayo nabo.
Ukuthetha Izinto Ezilungileyo Ngokusuka Entliziyweni
18. Yintoni enokusinceda siyeke ukucaphuka?
18 Ukulawula umsindo akupheleli nje ekuzibonakaliseni ngaphandle ukuba akucaphukanga. Injongo yethu ayifanele ibe kukucinezela iimvakalelo zethu nje kuphela. Ukuzama ukuzibonakalisa singenamsindo ngoxa ngaphakathi sivutha ngumsindo kunokusenza sixinezeleke. Kufana nokunyathela iziqhoboshi zemoto nomcephe ngaxeshanye. Loo nto inokuyonakalisa imoto. Musa ukufukama umsindo kuba ngenye imini uza kugqabhuka. Thandaza kuYehova umcele akuncede uyeke ukuba nomsindo. Vumela umoya kaYehova utshintshe ingqondo nentliziyo yakho yenze ngokuvisisana nokuthanda kwakhe.—Funda eyabaseRoma 12:2; Efese 4:23, 24.
19. Ziziphi izinto esinokuzenza ukuze siphephe ukuxambulisana nabantu?
19 Yenza okuthile ukuze ukwazi ukulawula umsindo. Ukuba kukho into ekucaphukisayo, kunokuba bubulumko ukuhamba kuloo ndawo ukuze uthomalalise umsindo wakho. (IMize. 17:14) Ukuba umntu othetha naye uqalisa ukuba nomsindo, zama ukuthetha ngobubele. Khumbula ukuba: “Impendulo, xa inobulali, isusa umsindo, kodwa ilizwi elibangela intlungu linyusa umsindo.” (IMize. 15:1) Amazwi axabelayo anokwenza izinto zibe mbi nangakumbi kwanokuba umntu uthethela phantsi. (IMize. 26:21) Xa kuvela imeko evavanya ukuzeyisa kwakho, ‘cotha ukuthetha, ucothe ukuqumba.’ Thandaza kuYehova umcele ukuba akuncede uthethe izinto ezilungileyo kungekhona ezimbi.—Yak. 1:19.
Ukuxolelana Ngokusuka Entliziyweni
20, 21. Yintoni enokusinceda sixolele abanye yaye kutheni sifanele senjenjalo?
20 Okubuhlungu kukuba, sonke asikwazi ukululawula ngokupheleleyo ulwimi lwethu. (Yak. 3:2) Nangona esenza umzamo wokuzeyisa, amalungu eentsapho zethu nabazalwana noodadewethu ebandleni, basenokuthetha izinto ezisenza buhlungu bengacinganga. Kunokuba ukhawuleze ukukhubeka, zama ukucinga unobangela wokuba bathethe ngaloo ndlela. (Funda iNtshumayeli 7:8, 9.) Ngaba bebexinezelekile, kukho into ebaxhalabisayo, bengaphilanga okanye benengxaki ethile?
21 Ezo zinto azikuthetheleli ukugqajukelwa ngumsindo. Kodwa xa sikhumbula ezo zinto, siya kusiqonda isizathu sokuba abantu bathethe yaye benze izinto esingazithandiyo ibe siya kukwazi ukubaxolela. Sonke sikhe sithethe okanye senze izinto ezibenza buhlungu abanye, yaye sinethemba lokuba baya kusixolela. (INtshu. 7:21, 22) UYesu wathi ukuze uThixo asixolele sifanele sibaxolele abanye. (Mat. 6:14, 15; 18:21, 22, 35) Ngoko ke, sifanele sikhawuleze ukucela uxolo nokuxolela, ukuze kuhlale kukho uthando—‘olungumxokelelwane ogqibeleleyo womanyano’—entsatsheni nasebandleni.—Kol. 3:14.
22. Kutheni sifanele senze umgudu wokuthetha ngobubele?
22 Njengoko isiphelo sale nkqubo yezinto ezaliswe ngabantu abanomsindo sisondela, kuza kuba nzima nangakumbi ukuhlala sivuya yaye simanyene. Ukusebenzisa imigaqo ekwiLizwi likaThixo kuya kusinceda singalusebenzisi kakubi ulwimi lwethu. Siya kuhlalisana ngoxolo ebandleni nasentsatsheni yaye umzekelo wethu omhle uya kunikela ubungqina kwabanye ‘ngoThixo wethu onoyolo,’ uYehova.—1 Tim. 1:11.
Ngaba Ungachaza?
• Kutheni kubalulekile ukukhetha ixesha elifanelekileyo lokucombulula iingxaki?
• Kutheni amalungu eentsapho efanele ahlale ethetha ngendlela ‘ekholekileyo’?
• Sinokukuphepha njani ukuthetha izinto ezibenza buhlungu abanye?
• Yintoni enokusinceda sibaxolele abanye?
[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 21]
Zama ukuthomalalisa umsindo uze emva koko ukhangele ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuthetha
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 23]
Indoda ifanele ithethe ngobubele nomfazi wayo ngalo lonke ixesha