Izicombululo Zeengxaki Ezidla Ngokukhalazelwa

IBHAYIBHILE ayithi kulula emtshatweni. Umpostile uPawulos waphefumlelwa nguThixo ukuba abhale athi abantu abatshatileyo baya “kuhlala befikelwa ziingxaki.” (1 Korinte 7:28 iBhayibhile yesiXhosa yowe-1996) Kodwa abantu abatshatileyo banokuzinciphisa iingxaki zabo baze bandise uvuyo lwabo. Makhe sihlole izinto ezintandathu ezidla ngokukhalazelwa ngabayeni nabafazi size sibone indlela enokunceda ngayo imigaqo yeBhayibhile.

1

ISIKHALAZO:

“Ulwalamano lwethu lucekethekile.”

UMGAQO WEBHAYIBHILE:

“Niqiniseke ngezinto ezibaluleke ngakumbi.”—FILIPI 1:10.

Umtshato wakho yenye yezona zinto zibalulekileyo ebomini bakho. Ufanele ube kwindawo yokuqala. Khawuhlole ucwangciso lwakho ukuba alungebi ngunobangela wesi sikhalazo. Musa ukuvumela izinto zemihla ngemihla zikwahlule neqabane lakho. Kakade ke, impangelo nezinye iimeko zinokuninyanzela ukuba ningasoloko nikunye. Kodwa unako ukuzilawula ezinye izinto njengexesha olichitha kwizinto ozithandayo okanye nabahlobo bakho.

Amanye amaqabane asenokuchitha ixesha elingakumbi emsebenzini okanye kwizinto azithandayo ukuze angabi kunye namaqabane awo. Ulwalamano lwabantu abanjalo “alucekethekanga.” Kunoko babaleka iingxaki. Ukuba wena neqabane lakho nina loo ngxaki, kufuneka nazi unobangela wayo nize niyilungise. Kuphela kuxa usabelana neqabane lakho ngobomi bakho apho ninokuba “nyama-nye” ngengqiqo epheleleyo.—Genesis 2:24.

Indlela abaye balisebenzisa ngayo abanye eli cebiso: UAndrewa noTanji, baseOstreliya, baneminyaka elishumi betshatile. UAndrew uthi: “Ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba ukusebenza gqitha nokuthanda iziyolo kunokuwenzakalisa umtshato wam. Ngenxa yoko senza ixesha lokuncokola ukuze sisondelelane.”

UDave noJane baseUnited States baneminyaka engama-22 betshatile, ntsasa nganye bachitha isiqingatha seyure bencokola. UJane uthi: “Eli lixesha elibalulekileyo yaye siyaqiniseka ukuba aliphazanyiswa nto.”

2

ISIKHALAZO:

“Andonwabanga kulo mtshato.”

UMGAQO WEBHAYIBHILE:

“Ngamnye makafune, kungekhona ingenelo yakhe, kodwa eyomnye umntu.”—1 KORINTE 10:24.

Umntu ofuna kusoloko kukholiswa yena emtshatweni akasoze onwabe, nokuba angatshata kangaphi. Umtshato uphumelela ngakumbi xa iqabane ngalinye lizama ukukholisa elinye. UYesu uchaza isizathu esithi: “Kunoyolo ngakumbi ukupha kunokwamkela.”—IZenzo 20:35.

Indlela abaye balisebenzisa ngayo abanye eli cebiso: UMaria noMartin baseMexico, baneminyaka engama-39 betshatile. Kodwa bezingasoloko zihamba kakuhle izinto. Kukho isiganeko esithile abangenakusilibala. UMaria ukhumbula ukuba: “Xa sasixambulisana, ndathetha ngokungenambeko kuMartin. Waba ligqabi ngumsindo. Ndazama ukumchazela ukuba ndithethe ndingacinganga, ndenziwe ngumsindo. Kodwa akazange aphulaphule.” UMartin uthi: “Koko kuxambulisana, ndandicinga ukuba asinakuba sahlala kunye, kungcono ndiwuncame naloo mtshato.”

UMartin wayefuna ukuhlonelwa. UMaria yena wayefuna ukuqondwa. Akakho kubo owayefumana into ayifunayo.

Bayicombulula njani loo ngxaki? UMartin uthi: “Ndathi makhe ndithobe umoya, sobabini sagqiba ekubeni sisebenzise isiluleko sobulumko seBhayibhile sokuba nentlonelo nobubele. Ukutyhubela iminyaka siye safumanisa ukuba nokuba zingamana zivela kangaphi iingxaki, singazicombulula ukuba sithandazela uncedo lukaThixo size sisebenzise icebiso leBhayibhile.”—Isaya 48:17, 18; Efese 4:31, 32.

3

ISIKHALAZO:

“Iqabane lam aliwenzi umsebenzi walo.”

UMGAQO WEBHAYIBHILE:

“Ngamnye wethu uya kuziphendulela kuThixo.”—ROMA 14:12.

Ngokungathandabuzekiyo, umtshato awunakuze uphumelele ukuba liqabane elinye kuphela elizibhokoxayo. Kodwa imeko ibiya kuba mbi nangakumbi ukuba omabini ebengakhathali yaye egxekana.

Ukuba usoloko ukhalazela izinto elingazenziyo iqabane lakho, awusoze wonwabe. Ngokukodwa ukuba usebenzisa iintsilelo zeqabane lakho ukuze uzingxengxezele. Kwelinye icala ukuba uzama ukuba ngumyeni okanye umfazi olungileyo, uya kuwuphucula umtshato wakho. (1 Petros 3:1-3) Okubaluleke ngakumbi kukuba ubonisa uThixo ukuba uyalihlonela ilungiselelo lomtshato yaye uya kumvuyisa.—1 Petros 2:19.

Iindlela abaye balisebenzisa ngayo abanye eli cebiso: UKim nomyeni wakhe abahlala eKorea, baneminyaka engama-38 betshatile. UKim uthi: “Maxa wambi umyeni wam uye acaphuke angandithethisi yaye andazi ukuba kutheni. Loo nto indenza ndizive ndingathandwa. Maxa wambi ndiye ndizibuze ukuba ‘kutheni efuna ndimqonde ngoxa yena engazami ukundiqonda?’”

UKim wayenokucinga ngezinto ezingenziwanga kakuhle nezo zenziwa liqabane lakhe. Kunoko, wakhetha ngokwahlukileyo. UKim uthi: “Ku nokuba ndicaphuke, ndiye ndafunda ukuba kuhle ukuba ndikhokele ekwenzeni uxolo. Ekugqibeleni, sobabini sithoba umoya size sizithethe ngoxolo izinto.”—Yakobi 3:18.

4

ISIKHALAZO:

“Umfazi wam akathobeli.”

UMGAQO WEBHAYIBHILE:

“Intloko yayo yonke indoda nguKristu.”—1 KORINTE 11:3.

Umyeni ocinga ukuba umfazi wakhe akamthobeli kuhle ukuba ahlole enokuba yena uyazithoba kubuNtloko bukaYesu Kristu kusini na. Umyeni unokubonisa ukuthobela kwakhe ngokulandela umzekelo kaYesu.

Umpostile uPawulos, wabhala wathi: “Qhubekani nibathanda abafazi benu, kanye njengokuba noKristu walithandayo ibandla waza wazinikela ngenxa yalo.” (Efese 5:25) UYesu ‘wayengasebenzisi igunya’ xa eqhubana nabafundi bakhe. (Marko 10:42-44) Wayebachazela kakuhle abafundi bakhe izinto ebalungisa xa kuyimfuneko. Kodwa wayengekho ngqwabalala. Wayenobubele eqonda ukuba babe neentsilelo. (Mateyu 11:29, 30; Marko 6:30, 31; 14:37, 38) Wayesoloko ebeka izilangazelelo zabo kuqala kunezakhe.—Mateyu 20:25-28.

Kufuneka azibuze lo mbuzo umyeni, ‘Imbono yam ngobuntloko ngaba iphenjelelwa kakhulu zizithethe zasekuhlaleni kunesiluleko nemizekelo eseBhayibhileni?’ Ngokomzekelo, ubuya kuthini ukuba umfazi akaboni ngasonye nomyeni wakhe aze ngentlonelo kodwa ngokuqinileyo ayimele imbono yakhe? EBhayibhileni, umfazi ka-Abraham uSara, ungumzekelo wokuthobela. (1 Petros 3:1, 6) Noko ke, wayengafihli makhuba xa kuyimfuneko, njengaxa uAbraham wayengakwazi ukubona iingozi ezisongela intsapho.—Genesis 16:5; 21:9-12.

Kucacile ukuba, uAbraham wayengengozwilakhe. Akazange amgagamele uSara. Ngendlela efanayo, umyeni olandela isiluleko seBhayibhile akanakumnyanzela umfazi wakhe, ukuba athobele yonke into ayithethayo. Buya kuhlonelwa ubuntloko bakhe ukuba uyamthantamisa umfazi wakhe.

Indlela abaye balisebenzisa ngayo abanye eli cebiso: UJames, ohlala Engilani oneminyaka esibhozo etshatile, uthi: “Ndifunde ukuba akufuneki ndenze izigqibo ezibalulekileyo ndingakhange ndithethe nomfazi wam. Ndizama ukuba ndingasoloko ndicinga ngam. Kunoko, kufuneka ndibeke iintswelo zakhe kuqala kunezam.”

UGeorge ohlala eUnited States noneminyaka engama-59 etshatile, uthi: “Ndizama ukungamphathi ngokungathi ungaphantsi kum umfazi wam, kodwa ndimphatha njengolingana nam.”—IMizekeliso 31:10.

5

ISIKHALAZO:

“Umyeni wam akakhokeli.”

UMGAQO WEBHAYIBHILE:

“Umfazi osisilumko ngokwenene uyayakha indlu yakhe, kodwa osisidenge uyayichitha ngezandla zakhe.”—IMIZEKELISO 14:1.

Ukuba umyeni wakho akazenzi izigqibo okanye akakhokeli, ubuncinane zintathu izinto onokuzenza. (1) Unokusoloko umbonisa iintsilelo zakhe okanye (2) Unokumohlutha ubuntloko (3) unokumncoma ngokunyanisekileyo ngemigudu yakhe. Ukuba ukhetha la macebiso mabini okuqala uya kuwuchitha umzi wakho. Icebiso lesithathu liya kukunceda womeleze umtshato wakho.

Amadoda amaninzi afuna ukuhlonelwa ngaphezu kokuthandwa. Ukuba umyeni wakho umenza azive ehlonelwa—umenze aqonde ukuba imigudu yakhe yokukhokela intsapho iyaxatyiswa uya kuphucula ngakumbi. Kakade ke, maxa wambi awuzukubona ngasonye nomyeni wakho kwimibandela ethile. Ezo zinto kufuneka nizithethe. (IMizekeliso 18:13) Indlela othetha ngayo inokuwakha okanye iwuchithe umtshato wakho. (IMizekeliso 21:9; 27:15) Ukuba uthetha ngembeko uya kuphumelela, nomyeni wakho uya kukhokela.

Indlela abaye balisebenzisa ngayo abanye eli cebiso: UMichele ohlala eUnited States oneminyaka engama-30 etshatile, uthi: “Ekubeni umama wasikhulisa engenamyeni, wayesenz’ unothanda eziphethe. Ndityekele ekuxeliseni ezo mpawu zakhe. Kufuneka ndifunde ukuthobela ngalo lonke ixesha. Ngokomzekelo, ndiye ndafunda ukuqala ndithethe nomyeni wam kunokuba ndizenzele izigqibo.”

URachel, ohlala eOstreliya uneminyaka engama-21 etshate noMark, naye waphenjelelwa kakhulu yindlela akhuliswa ngayo. Uthi ukhumbula ukuba: “Umama wayengamthobeli utata, wayesoloko exambulisana naye ngokungenantlonelo. Xa ndandisandula ukutshata ndandixelisa yena. Ngokuya ihamba iminyaka ndiye ndafunda ukusebenzisa icebiso leBhayibhile ngendlela yokubonisa intlonelo. Ngoku mna noMark sonwabile emtshatweni.”

6

ISIKHALAZO:

“Andisenakukwazi ukumnyamezela.”

UMGAQO WEBHAYIBHILE:

“Qhubekani ninyamezelana yaye nixolelana ngesisa ukuba nabani na unesizathu sokukhalazela omnye.”—KOLOSE 3:13.

Ngokuya nanisandula ukudibana, wawungaziboni iintsilelo zeqabane lakho wawubona iimpawu zalo ezintle kuphela. Ungayenza loo nto ngoku? Akuthandabuzeki ukuba ezinye izinto ezenziwa liqabane lakho ziyakucaphukisa. Zibuze ukuba, ‘ziziphi iimpawu zeqabane lam endifuna ukunikela ingqalelo kuzo zezintle okanye zezimbi?’

UYesu wasebenzisa umzekelo onamandla obonisa ukuba sifanele sizibethe ngoyaba iintsilelo zabanye. Wabuza: “Kutheni . . . ukhangela udiza olukwiliso lomzalwana wakho, kodwa ungawuqwalaseli umqadi okwelakho iliso?” (Mateyu 7:3) Udiza lusenokuba likhasi elincinane lengca. Ngoxa wona umqadi umkhulu wenzelwe ukubamba uphahla lwendlu. Wayebethelela yiphi ingongoma? “Khupha kuqala umqadi kwelakho iliso, yaye uya kwandula ke ubone ngokucacileyo indlela yokukhupha udiza elisweni lomzalwana wakho.”—Mateyu 7:5.

Ngaphambi kokuba enze lo mzekeliso uYesu walumkisa wathi: “Musani ukugweba ukuze ningagwetywa; kuba ngogwebo enigweba ngalo, niya kugwetywa kwangalo nani.” (Mateyu 7:1, 2) Ukuba ufuna uThixo azibethe ngoyaba iintsilelo zakho, umqadi oselisweni lakho, kufuneka nawe uzibethe ngoyaba iintsilelo zeqabane lakho.—Mateyu 6:14, 15.

Indlela abaye balisebenzisa ngayo abanye eli cebiso: UJenny, ohlala Engilani uneminyaka esithoba etshate noSimon uthi: “Ndifumanisa ukuba eyona nto indicaphukisayo kumyeni wam kukungacwangcisi kwangaphambili, nokwenza izinto ngomzuzu wokugqibela. Ngumnqa ke lento kuba ngaphambi kokuba sitshate ndandiyithanda le ndlela yakhe yokwenza izinto. Noko ke, ndiye ndaphawula ukuba nam ndiyakuthanda ukumlawula. Sobabini sifunda ukuzibetha ngoyaba iintsilelo ezingephi.”

UCurt, otshate noMichele ebesimcaphule ngaphambili, uthi: “Ukuba usoloko ucinga ngeentsilelo zeqabane lakho, ezo ntsilelo ziya kubonakala zinkulu ngakumbi. Ndinikela ingqalelo kwiimpawu ezandenza ndamthanda uMichele.”

Imfihlelo Yempumelelo

Le mizekelo imbalwa ibonisa ukuba iingxaki azinakuphepheka emtshatweni kodwa zinokulungiseka. Yintoni imfihlelo ukuze uphumelele? Hlakulela uthando ngoThixo uze ukulungele ukusebenzisa isiluleko esiseLizwini lakhe, iBhayibhile.

UAlex noItohan, abahlala eNigeria baneminyaka engama-20 betshatile, bayifundile loo mfihlelo. UAlex uthi: “Ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba nayiphi na ingxaki yomtshato inokuconjululwa ukuba umfazi nendoda basebenzisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile.” Umfazi wakhe yena uthi: “Siye safunda ukubaluleka kokuthandaza kunye rhoqo nokusebenzisa isiluleko seBhayibhile sokuba sithandane ngokwenene nokuba siqhubane ngomonde. Ngoku sineengxaki ezimbalwa kunangokuya sasisandula ukutshata.”

Uyafuna ukufunda okungakumbi ngendlela esinokuyinceda ngayo intsapho yakho isiluleko esiseLizwini likaThixo? Ukuba kunjalo, cela amaNgqina kaYehova axubushe nawe isahluko 14 sencwadi ethi: Yintoni Ngokwenene Efundiswa YiBhayibhile?b

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 4]

Ngaba siyalenza ixesha lokuba sibe kunye?

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 5]

Ngaba ndiyapha ngaphezu kokwamkela?

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 6]

Ngaba ndiyakhokela ekulungiseni iingxaki?

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 7]

Ngaba ndiyazifuna izimvo zomfazi wam ngaphambi kokuba ndenze isigqibo?

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 9]

Ngaba ndinikel’ ingqalelo kwiimpawu ezintle zeqabane lam?