Ndakhululwa Kumakhamandela Entiyo

NGOKUBALISWA NGUJOSÉ GOMEZ

NDAZALWA ngoSeptemba 8, 1964, eRognac, idolophu encinane ekumazantsi eFransi. Ootatomkhulu noomakhulu kunye nabazali bam babengamaGypsy aseAndalusia, yaye bazalelwa eAlgeria naseMorocco, eMntla Afrika. Njengokuba kuqhelekile kumaGypsy, intsapho yakuthi yayinkulu sihlala nezinye izalamane

UTata wayenogonyamelo, yaye xa ndikhumbula izinto ezazisenzeka ndisemncinane kuthi qatha izihlandlo apho wayengomba khona uMama. Ethubeni, uMama wakhetha ukuqhawula umtshato—nto leyo engafane yenzeke kumaGypsy. Wahamba nam, umninawa wam, nodade wethu saya eBelgium, apho sahlala ngoxolo kangangeminyaka esibhozo.

Noko ke, izinto zaguquka. Thina bantwana sasifuna ukubona uTata, ngoko uMama wasisa eFransi baza baphinda bahlala kunye noTata. Kwakhona ukuhlala noTata kwandizisela iingxaki. EBelgium sasihamba siye naphi na noMama. Kodwa ngokwesithethe sakuloTata amadoda ayemele anxulumane namanye amadoda kuphela. Ngokwendlela ababeqiqa ngayo, amadoda anelungelo lokwenza into ayithandayo, wonk’ umsebenzi umele wenziwe ngabafazi. Ngokomzekelo, ngenye imini, xa ndandiza kuncedisa udadobawo ekuhlambeni izitya emva kwesidlo sangokuhlwa, utatomncinci wathi ndilifanasini. Kwintsapho yakowabo, izitya zazimele zihlanjwe ngamabhinqa kuphela. Ekugqibeleni, nam ndada ndacinga ngale ndlela ingekho ngqiqweni.

Kwadlula ithutyana nje elincinane uMama waphinda wayingqongqo kaTata. Kangangezihlandlo eziliqela, mna nomntakwethu sasithi xa sizama ukunqanda kufuneke siphume ngefestile sibaleka ukubethwa nguTata. Nodade wethu wayengasindi. Ngenxa yoko, ndandichitha ixesha elininzi ndingekho ekhaya kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Nakuba ndandineminyaka eli-15 ubudala, ndandingekayazi eyona nto ndiyifunayo ebomini.

Ekuhambeni kwexesha, ndaduma ngokuba nogonyamelo. Ndandikuthanda ukuntlonta abanye. Maxa wambi ndandisuka ndiqhway’ uqhushululu kwabanye abafana, kodwa babembalwa gqitha abanobuganga bokundicel’ umngeni—into eyayibangela oko kukuba ndandisoloko ndipheth’ imela netyathanga. Kungekudala ndaqalisa ukuba iinqwelo-mafutha ndize ndizithengise. Maxa wambi ndandisuka nje ndizintumeke umlilo ndize ndonwatyiswe kukubukela abacimi-mlilo bezama ukucima loo madangatye. Kamva ndaqalisa ukuqhekeza iivenkile noovimba bokugcina impahla. Ndabanjwa izihlandlo eziliqela. Sihlandlo ngasinye ndandithandaza kuThixo ndicela uncedo!

Ewe, ndandikholelwa kuThixo. Ngoxa sasiseBelgium, ndakha ndaya kwisikolo secawa. Ngoko ndandisazi ukuba kuphosakele oko ndandikwenza. Sekunjalo, ukukholelwa kwam kuThixo kwakungayichaphazeli indlela endandiziphethe ngayo. Ndandicinga ukuba ekuphela kwento efunekayo kukucela nje uxolo zize izono zam zixolelwe.

Ngenxa yobusela, ngowe-1984 ndagwetywa iinyanga ezili-11 entolongweni. Ndasiwa kwiNtolongo yaseBaumettes, eMarseilles. Apho, ndenza imivambo emzimbeni wam. Omnye umvambo wawusithi “intiyo nempindezelo.” Kunokuba loo ntolongo indiguqule, yandenza ndabathiya ngakumbi abasemagunyeni noluntu nje ngokubanzi. Ekukhululweni kwam emva kokuthothoza iinyanga ezintathu nje kuphela entolongweni, ndaba nentiyo engakumbi. Noko ke, kwehla intlekele eyaguqula ubomi bam.

Eyona Nto Ndiyifunayo Yimpindezelo

Intsapho yakuthi yaxabana nenye intsapho yamaGypsy. Mna nootatomncinci sagqiba ekubeni siye kuqubisana nayo ukuze sicombulule loo ngxaki. Zombini ezi ntsapho zazixhobile. Kuqhushululu olwavuka apho, umkhuluwa kaTata ogama linguPierre nomnye umzala wam badutyulwa bafa. Ndaba buhlungu kangangokuba ndema esitratweni ndithe qhiwu umpu ngesandla, ndikhwaza ndilugcwabevu ngumsindo. Ekugqibeleni omnye utatomncinci wawohlutha loo mpu.

Ukufelwa nguTatomdala uPierre, endandimgqala njengoTata, kwanditsho ndaxheleka. Ndazila ngokwesiko lamaGypsy. Kwaqengqeleka iintsuku ndingazichebi iindevu ndingayityi nenyama. Ndandingabukeli mabonwakude ndingaphulaphuli mculo. Ndenza isifungo sokuba ndiya kuziphindezela ngokufa kukaTatomdala, kodwa izalamane zandithintela ekubeni ndifumane umpu.

NgoAgasti 1984, ndasiwa kwinkonzo yasemkhosini. Xa ndandineminyaka engama-20 ubudala, ndafakwa kumkhosi wokugcina uxolo weZizwe Ezimanyeneyo eLebanon. Ndandisoloko ndilindele ukubulala okanye ukubulawa nani na. Ngelo xesha, ndandiyingedle yomya. Esi siyobisi sasindenza ndizive ndonwabile yaye sasindenza ndizive ndingenakuchathwa.

Kwakulula ukufumana izixhobo eLebanon, ngoko ndagqiba ekubeni ndizithumele eFransi ukuze ndiziphindezele ngokufa kukaTatomdala. Ndathenga imipu emibini, neembumbulu kubantu balapho. Ndayiqhaqha ndaza ndayifihla koonomathotholo ababini, emva koko ndayithumela ekhaya.

Kwiiveki nje ezimbini ngaphambi kokugqiba loo nkonzo yasemkhosini, mna nabahlobo bam abathathu sazimela enkampini. Ekubuyeleni kwethu enkampini, saphoswa ngaphaya kwezitshixo. Ngoxa ndandisentolongweni, ndasuka ndaba nomsindo ndabetha umlindi. Andizange ndiyithande into yokujongelwa phantsi yipayo—umntu ongelilo iGypsy. Kusuku olulandelayo ndaphinda ndalwa nelinye igosa. Ndasiwa kwiNtolongo yaseMontluc, eLyons ukuze ndigqibezele elo xesha lalisele emkhosini.

Ndifumana Inkululeko Entolongweni

Kusuku lwam lokuqala kwiNtolongo yaseMontluc, ndamkelwa ngezandla ezishushu ngomnye umfana owayenobubele. Ndafumanisa ukuba uliNgqina likaYehova yaye yena nabanye akholwa nabo bavalelwe lapho ngenxa yokwala ukuphatha izixholo. Kwaba ngumnqa oko kum. Ndafuna inkcazelo engakumbi.

Ndafumanisa ukuba, amaNgqina kaYehova amthanda ngokwenene uThixo yaye ndachukunyiswa gqitha yimilinganiselo yokuziphatha kwawo ephakamileyo. Sekunjalo, ndandisenemibuzo emininzi. Eyona nto ndandifuna ukuyazi kukuba abafileyo bayanxibelelana kusini na nabaphilayo ngamaphupha—nto leyo awayeyikholelwa amaGypsy amaninzi. Elinye iNgqina uJean-Paul lacela ukundiqhubela isifundo seBhayibhile lisebenzisa incwadi ethi Unokuphila Ngonaphakade KwiParadisi Esemhlabeni.a

Ngomdla omkhulu le ncwadi ndayifunda ngobusuku obunye, yaye ndachukunyiswa gqitha koko ndandikufunda. Apho entolongweni, ndafumana inkululeko yokwenene! Ukukhululwa kwam entolongweni, ndakhwela kuloliwe ndagoduka, ibhegi yam izele ziimpapasho zeBhayibhile.

Ukuze ndidibane namaNgqina ekhaya, ndaya kwiHolo yoBukumkani yaseMartigues. Ndaqhubeka ndifundisisa iBhayibhile, ndincedwa ngumlungiseleli wexesha elizeleyo oselula uEric. Kungekudala emva koko, ndayeka ukutshaya, yaye ndayeka ukunxulumana nabahlobo endandibandakanyeke nabo kwizenzo zolwaphulo-mthetho. Ndandizimisele ukwenza ngokuvisisana neMizekeliso 27:11, ethi: “Yiba nobulumko, nyana wam, uze uyenze ibe nemihlali intliziyo yam, ukuze ndimphendule ondingcikivayo.” Ndafumanisa ukuba uYehova nguBawo onothando yaye ndandifuna ukumkholisa.

Ucelo-mngeni Lokutshintsha

Akuzange kube lula kum ukuphila ngemigaqo yobuKristu. Ngokomzekelo, ndaqala phantsi ukusebenzisa iziyobisi yaye oko kwathabatha iiveki eziliqela. Kodwa eyona nto kwaba nzima gqitha ukulwa nayo kukufuna ukuziphindezela. Engazi uEric, ndandisoloko ndiphethe umpu ndisazama indlela yokuziphindezela kwabo babulala uTatomdala. Ndandidla ngokubakhangela ubusuku bonke.

Ndathi ndakuxelela uEric ngoku, wandicacisela ukuba andinakukwazi ukwakha ubuhlobo obuhle noThixo ukuba ndisebenzisa izixhobo yaye ndiyaziphindezela. Kwafuneka ndenze ukhetho. Ndacamngca nzulu ngesiluleko sikampostile uPawulos esikwabaseRoma 12:19 esithi: “Musani ukuziphindezelela, zintanda, kodwa yikhweleleni ingqumbo.” Esi siluleko kunye nokuthandaza ngokuzingisileyo, kwandinceda ndakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zam. (INdumiso 55:22) Ekugqibeleni, ndazilahla izixhobo zam. Emva konyaka ndifunda iBhayibhile, ndafuzisela uzahlulelo lwam kuYehova uThixo ndaza ndabhaptizwa emanzini ngoDisemba 26, 1986.

Indlela Eyasabela Ngayo Intsapho Yakuthi

Iinguqulelo endazenzayo kwindlela yokuziphatha zakhuthaza abazali bam bafundisisa iBhayibhile. Baphinda batshata, yaye uMama wabhaptizwa ngoJulayi 1989. Ethubeni, namanye amalungu entsapho yakuthi aliqela asabela kakuhle kwisigidimi seBhayibhile aza aba ngamaNgqina kaYehova.

NgoAgasti 1988, ndaba ngumlungiseleli wexesha elizeleyo. Emva koko ndathandana nodade oselula osebandleni lam uKatia. Satshata ngoJuni 10, 1989. Unyaka wethu wokuqala sitshatile awuzange ube lula, kuba kwakusafuneka ndenze uhlengahlengiso kwimbono endandinayo ngamabhinqa. Kwakunzima ukulandela amazwi akweyoku-1 kaPetros 3:7, akhuthaza amadoda ukuba abanike imbeko abafazi bawo. Kwakufuneka ndithandaze ngokuphindaphindiweyo ndicele amandla okulwa nekratshi endandinalo ndize ndiguqule indlela endandicinga ngayo. Ngokuthe ngcembe izinto zaba bhetele.

Ukufa kukaTatomdala kusandikhathaza, yaye maxa wambi zisuke zihle iinyembezi ndakucinga ngaye. Eyona nto indikhathazayo yindlela awafa ngayo. Kangangeminyaka, nkqu nasemva kokuba ndibhaptiziwe, ndandisoyika ukudibana namalungu entsapho esasixabene nayo. Ndandiza kuthini xa endihlasela? Ndandiza kusabela njani? Ngaba ndandiza kuvusa ubuntu obudala?

Ngenye imini ndandinikela intetho yesidlangalala kwibandla elikufuphi. Apho ndabona uPepa, isalamane saloo madoda abulala uTatomdala. Ndimele ndivume ukuba ukumbona kwabuvavanya gqitha ubuKristu bam. Kodwa ndalwa neemvakalelo zam. Kamva, ngomhla awabhaptizwa ngawo uPepa, ndamanga ndaza ndavuyisana naye ngesigqibo sakhe sokukhonza uYehova. Phezu kwayo yonke loo nto yenzekayo, ndamamkela njengodade wethu wokomoya.

Ndihlala ndimbulela uYehova ngokundinceda ndikhululeke kumakhamandela entiyo. Ngendiphi namhlanje ukuba ndandingazange ndenzelwe inceba nguYehova? Ngenxa yakhe, namhlanje ndinandipha ubomi bentsapho. Kwakhona ndinethemba lokuphila kwihlabathi elitsha elingenantiyo nogonyamelo kwixesha elizayo. Ewe, ndiqinisekile ukuba siza kuzaliseka isithembiso sikaThixo esithi: “Okunene baya kuhlala, ngamnye phantsi komdiliya wakhe naphantsi komkhiwane wakhe, yaye akuyi kubakho bani ubangcangcazelisayo; kuba wona kanye umlomo kaYehova wemikhosi ukuthethile oko.”—Mika 4:4.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 19]

Xa ndandikumkhosi wokugcina uxolo weZizwe Ezimanyeneyo eLebanon, ngowe-1985

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 20]

Ndikunye noKatia noonyana bam, uTimeo noPierre