Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Yintoni Ephosakeleyo Ngokuba Neentlobano Zesini Ngaphambi Komtshato?

“Maxa wambi ndikhe ndizibuze enoba ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato kuphosakele kangako, ngokukodwa xa ndivakalelwa kukuba ingumnqa into yokuba ndingazange ndikhe ndibe neentlobano zesini.”—UJordon.a

“Ndifuna ukuva ukuba kunjani ukuba neentlobano zesini. Ndicinga ukuba sonke sinawo loo mnqweno ngokwemvelo,” utsho njalo uKelly. Ehlabela mgama uthi, “Kuyo yonk’ indawo oya kuyo, kubalaseliswa isini!”

NGABA ukhe uvakalelwe njengoJordon noKelly? Ngapha koko, amasiko akudala nemilinganiselo yokuziphatha eyayithintela ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato yaphelela emoyeni. (Hebhere 13:4) Kuphando olwenziwa kwelinye ilizwe laseAsia kwafunyaniswa ukuba inkoliso yabafana abane-15 ukusa kuma-24 eminyaka ubudala bavakalelwa kukuba asinto nje yamkelekileyo ukuba babe neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato kodwa yinto elindelekileyo. Ayimangalisi ke ngoko into yokuba ehlabathini lonke, uninzi lolutsha luba neentlobano zesini lungekabinayo neminyaka eli-19 ubudala.

Kuphinde kubekho ulutsha olungabi nazintlobano zesini kodwa olubandakanyeka kwezinye iindlela zokuziphatha okubi njengokuphathaphathana kumalungu esini (maxa wambi okudla ngokubizwa ngokuba kukuphululana amaphambili). Enye ingxelo eyothusayo evela kwiThe New York Times ibonisa ukuba “iintlobano zesini ezenziwa emlonyeni ziya zixhaphaka yaye ulutsha oluninzi luzigqala njengezona ntlobano zesini zingeyongozi . . . [yaye] luzigqala njengendlela yokuphepha ukukhulelwa nokulondoloza ubunyulu.”

UmKristu ufanele akujonge njani ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato? Yaye kuthekani ngezinye iindlela ezisetyenziswayo endaweni yokuba neentlobano zesini? Ngaba zamkelekile kuThixo? Ngaba aziyongozi? Yaye ngaba umntu uyakwazi ukulondoloza ubunyulu bakhe emva kokuba eye wabandakanyeka kuzo?

Oko Kuqukwa Luhenyuzo

Iimpendulo ezinokuthenjwa ngokuphathelele le mibuzo zinokufunyanwa kuMdali wethu kuphela—uYehova uThixo. Yaye kwiLizwi lakhe usixelela ukuba ‘sisabe kulo uhenyuzo.’ (1 Korinte 6:18) Kuthetha ntoni oko? Igama lesiGrike eliguqulelwe ngokuthi “uhenyuzo” alibhekiseli kwiintlobano zesini kuphela kodwa libhekisela nakwezinye izenzo ezingcolileyo. Ngoko ukuba abantu ababini abangatshatanga baba neentlobano zesini ezenziwa emlonyeni okanye baphathaphathana kumalungu esini, bayahenyuza.

Kodwa ngaba basenyulu—oko kukuthi emehlweni kaThixo? EBhayibhileni, igama elithi “ubunyulu” lisetyenziswa njengelifanekisela ubumsulwa. (2 Korinte 11:2-6) Kodwa likwasetyenziswa nangokoqobo. IBhayibhile ithetha ngebhinqa eliselula eligama linguRebheka. Ithi ‘laliyintombi enyulu, engazange ibe neentlobano zesini nandoda.’ (Genesis 24:16) Okubangel’ umdla kukuba kwisiHebhere samandulo, igama elithi ‘iintlobano zesini’ ngokucacileyo laliquka nezinye izenzo ngaphandle kweentlobano zesini eziqhelekileyo phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. (Genesis 19:5) Ngoko, ngokutsho kweBhayibhile, ukuba umntu osemtsha ubandakanyeka nakuluphi na uhlobo lohenyuzo, akanakugqalwa njengonyulu.

IBhayibhile ibongoza amaKristu ukuba aphephe kungekuphela nje uhenyuzo kodwa nazo zonke iintlobo zehambo engendawo ezinokukhokelela kuhenyuzo.b (Kolose 3:5) Abanye banokukugculela xa uziphethe kakuhle. “‘Uyaphoswa!’ lawo ngamazwi endandihlala ndiweva ngoxa ndandikwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo,” utsho njalo omnye umKristu oselula ogama linguKelly. Noko ke, ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato ‘kukuziyolisa ngesono okwexeshana.’ (Hebhere 11:25) Kunokubangela umonakalo ohlala uhleli emzimbeni, ngokweemvakalelo nangokomoya.

Isisongelo Esinzulu

IBhayibhile isixelela ukuba uKumkani uSolomon wakha wabukela umfana ongatshatanga ehendelwa ukuba abe neentlobano zesini. USolomon wafanisa lo mfana ‘nenkunzi yenkomo isiya ekuxhelweni.’ Xa inkunzi yenkomo iza kuxhelwa ibonakala ingakwazi oko kuza kuyehlela. Badla ngokuba njalo abantu abaselula ababandakanyeka kwiintlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato—babonakala ngathi ababuqondi ubunzulu bemiphumo yoko bakwenzayo! Ethetha ngalo mfana uSolomon wathi: ‘Akazi ukuba oko kuchaphazela kanye umphefumlo wakhe.’ (IMizekeliso 7:22, 23) Ewe, “umphefumlo” wakho—ubomi bakho—usesichengeni.

Ngokomzekelo, nyaka ngamnye izigidi zolutsha zisulelwa zizifo ezidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini. ULydia uthi: “Emva kokufumanisa ukuba ndinamadyunguza kwilungu lesini, kwaba ngathi ndingabaleka.” Uthi: “Sisifo esibuhlungu, esinganyangekiyo.” Kwabo basandul’ ukuba nentsholongwane iHIV ehlabathini lonke, abangaphezu kwesiqingatha (abangama-6 000 abasulelwayo suku ngalunye) baphakathi kweminyaka eli-15 nengama-24 ubudala.

Amabhinqa ngawona asesichengeni sokuchatshazelwa ziingxaki ezininzi eziphathelele ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato. Eneneni, ngawona asesichengeni sokwasulelwa zizifo ezidluliselwa ngesini (kuquka iHIV) ngaphezu kwamadoda. Ukuba intwazana eselula iyakhulelwa, ibeka ubomi bayo nobosana lwayo olungekazalwa esichengeni esingakumbi. Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba kusenokwenzeka ukuba umzimba wentwazana eselula awukakhuli ngokwaneleyo ukuba ingakwazi ukubeleka ngaphandle kwengxaki.

Kwanokuba umama okwishumi elivisayo akabi nangxaki ngokwempilo, usajamelene neembopheleleko ezinzulu zobuzali. Amantombazana amaninzi afumanisa ukuba ukuzama ukuzixhasa nokuxhasa iintsana ezisandul’ ukuzalwa kunzima ngakumbi kunokuba ayecinga.

Kuphinde kubekho nemiphumo ngokomoya nangokweemvakalelo. Ukuziphatha kakubi ngokwesini kukaKumkani uDavide kwaluphazamisa ulwalamano lwakhe noThixo yaye kwaphantse kwamfaka engozini ngokomoya. (INdumiso 51) Yaye nangona uDavide waye wachacha ngokomoya, ngenxa yemiphumo yesono sakhe wabandezeleka ubomi bakhe bonke.

Kunokwenzeka into efanayo nakulutsha lwanamhlanje. Ngokomzekelo xa wayene-17 leminyaka kuphela ubudala, uCherie waba neentlobano zesini nenye inkwenkwe. Wayecinga ukuba iyamthanda. Ngoku sele kudlule iminyaka, kodwa usazisola ngaloo nto wayenzayo. Uthi: “Ndayisingela phantsi inyaniso yeBhayibhile yaye ndayifumana imiphumo yoko. Ndaphulukana nenkoliseko kaYehova yaye oko kwandidandathekisa kakhulu.” NoTrish oselula uthetha okufanayo: “Ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato yeyona mpazamo inkulu ndakha ndayenza ebomini bam. Bendinokwenza nantoni na ukuze ndiphinde ndibe nyulu.” Ewe, umntu unokuba nomvandedwa kangangeminyaka yaye loo nto inokubangela udandatheko nentlungu.

Ukufunda Ukuzeyisa

UShanda oselula ubuza umbuzo obalulekileyo, “Kutheni uThixo esenza ulutsha lube nomnqweno wesini, esazi ukuba alufanele lube neentlobano zesini de lutshate?” Yinyaniso ukuba umnqweno wesini unokuba namandla ngakumbi ebudeni ‘bentlahla yobutsha.’ (1 Korinte 7:36) Eneneni, abakwishumi elivisayo banokusuka bavuseleleke ngokwesini ngaphandle kwesizathu. Kodwa leyo asiyonto imbi. Yinto efanelekileyo ebonisa ukuba umntu ukhulela kwinqanaba lokuvelisa inzala.c

Liyinyaniso nelokuba uYehova wabangela ukuba iintlobano zesini zibe luyolo. Oku kwakuvisisana nenjongo yakhe yantlandlolo yokuba abantu bazalise umhlaba. (Genesis 1:28) Sekunjalo, uThixo wayengenanjongo yokuba siwasebenzise kakubi amandla ethu okuzala. IBhayibhile ithi: ‘Ngamnye wenu ufanele akwazi ukusizuza esakhe isitya ngobungcwalisa nembeko.’ (1 Tesalonika 4:4) Ukwanelisa umnqweno wesini ngalo lonke ixesha bekuya kuba bubudenge njengokusoloko ubetha umntu ngalo lonke ixesha unomsindo.

Iintlobano zesini sisipho esivela kuThixo, isipho esifanele sinanditshwe ngexesha elifanelekileyo—xa umntu etshatile. Uziva njani uThixo xa sisiba neentlobano zesini singatshatanga? Masithi uthengela umhlobo wakho isipho. Uthi ungekamniki loo mhlobo wakho esi sipho asuke asibe! Ngaba ubungayi kucaphuka? Ngoko khawucinge indlela avakalelwa ngayo uThixo xa umntu esiba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato, esebenzisa kakubi isipho esivela kuThixo.

Ufanele wenze ntoni ngeemvakalelo zakho zesini? Ngokulula nje, funda ukuzilawula. Zikhumbuze ukuba “uYehova akayi kubandeza nantoni na elungileyo kwabo bahamba ngokungenamposiso.” (INdumiso 84:11) Omnye osemtsha ogama linguGordon uthi: “Xa ndifikelwa ziingcinga zokuba akukho nto iphosakele kangako ngokuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato, ndiye ndicinge ngemiphumo ebuhlungu enokundichaphazela ngokomoya ndize ndiqonde ukuba akukho hlobo lwesono lumele lonakalise ubuhlobo bam noYehova.” Kusenokungabi lula ukuzeyisa. Kodwa njengoko uAdrian oselula esitsho, “kusenza sibe nesazela esicocekileyo, sibe nolwalamano oluhle noYehova, sikwazi ukunikel’ ingqalelo kwizinto ezibalulekileyo kungekho nto siye sayenza kwixa elidluleyo ebangela ukuba sisoloko sizisola.”—INdumiso 16:11.

Unezizathu ezininzi ‘zokukhwebuka kuzo zonke iintlobo zohenyuzo.’ (1 Tesalonika 4:3) Kuyavunywa ukuba oku akusoloko kulula. Kwinqaku elilandelayo kuza kuxutyushwa iindlela ezinokukunceda ukuze ‘uzigcine unyulu.’—1 Timoti 5:22.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 13]

Ukuba umntu osemtsha ubandakanyeka nakuluphi na uhlobo lohenyuzo, ngaba uThixo unokumgqala njengonyulu?

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 13]

Ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato kunokonakalisa isazela somntu osemtsha owoyika uThixo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 14]

Abo baba neentlobano zesini bengatshatanga bazibeka esichengeni sokwasulelwa zizifo ezidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini