Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza
Ngoobani Abahlobo Bam Bokwenene?
“UCori undifundise izinto ezinzi. Xa ndikunye naye, ndidibana nabantu abatsha, ndifunde izinto ezintsha yaye ndisoloko ndonwabile. Ubuhlobo bam noCori bubutshintshe gqitha ubomi bam!”—UTara.a
Ngaba ucinga ukuba akunakuze ube naye umhlobo onje? Ukuba kunjalo, ungalahl’ ithemba. Baninzi abantu abanokuba ngabahlobo bakho. Eli nqaku liza kukunceda ukuze ubabone.
‘BANINZI abantu endibaqhelileyo kodwa andinabo abahlobo.’ UShayna oneminyaka engama-21 ubudala ukuchaza ngolo hlobo ukwazana nabantu abaninzi kodwa kube kungekho namnye kubo ongumhlobo wakho. Basenokusoloko bezifumana bekule meko abantu abasebenzisa iiwebhsayithi zokuncokola. USerena oneminyaka engama-22 ubudala uthi: “Usenokuba noluhlu olude lwabantu obabiza ngokuba ngabahlobo uze ubonakale ngathi waziwa ngabantu abaninzi, kodwa eneneni kube kungenjalo.”b
Wena ukhetha ntoni phakathi kokuba neeadresi ze-e-mail ezininzi nokuba nabahlobo bokwenene abambalwa? Nangona zombini ezi zinto zingasentla zineengenelo zazo, umhlobo wokwenene unokukunceda xa unengxaki yaye unokude akukhuthaze ukuba ube ngumntu obhetele. (1 Korinte 16:17, 18) Funda ezi zinto zingezantsi ukuze ubone ukuba kubantu obaziyo ngoobani abaneempawu zabahlobo bokwenene.
UMHLOBO WOKWENENE UNYANISEKILE
“Umhlobo wam wayedla ngokundixelela izinto zakhe eziyimfihlo, ngenxa yoko ndandicinga ukuba ndinokumthemba. Ngoko, ngeny’ imini ndamxelela ukuba kwakukho inkwenkwe endandiyithanda. Kwathi kanti ndenze impazamo enkulu! Wahamba eyisasaza loo nto!”—UBeverly.
“Umhlobo wam uAlan ndimxelela nantoni na yaye ndiyazi ukuba akasoze ahambe eyixelela abantu.”—UCalvin.
Ngubani kwaba bangasentla owayenomhlobo wokwenene? Nguwuphi kubahlobo bakho onokuphalaza imbilini yakho kuye?c IBhayibhile ithi, “iqabane lokwenyaniso lithanda ngamaxesha onke.”—IMizekeliso 17:17.
Apha ngezantsi, bhala amagama abahlobo bakho ababini oye wababona ukuba bathembekile.
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UMHLOBO WOKWENENE UZIJUL’ IJACU
“Akho amaxesha apho omnye umhlobo eya komelela ngaphezu komnye. Umhlobo wokwenene uye akubone xa ubuthathaka aze akuncede ngoko nangoko. Kakade ke, umhlobo wakho ulindele ukuba nawe umncede xa esengxakini.”—UKellie.
“Ukusweleka kukamama ndandisandul’ ukuba nomhlobo omtsha. Sasingekabi ngumtya nethunga ngelo xesha kodwa sasisele sicebe ukuya emtshatweni kunye. Kodwa ke umngcwabo kamama wawuza kuba ngemini enye naloo mtshato. Umhlobo wam wandimangalisa xa wakhetha ukuza emngcwabeni kunokuba aye emtshatweni. Ndatsho ndambona ukuba ungumhlobo wokwenene.”—ULena.
Nguwuphi umhlobo wakho oluncedo ngokwenene? Umhlobo wokwenene uya ‘kufuna kungekhona ingenelo yakhe, kodwa eyomnye umntu.’—1 Korinte 10:24.
Bhala apha ngezantsi amagama abahlobo ababini abakubonisileyo ukuba baluncedo ngokwenene.
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UMHLOBO WOKWENENE UKUNCEDA UKUZE UBE NGUMNTU OBHETELE.
“Abanye abantu bafuna ukuba ndinyaniseke kubo okanye ndivumelane nabo naxa oko kuthetha ukwenza izinto ezingavumelaniyo nesazela sam. Abantu abanjalo abangabo abahlobo bokwenene.”—UNadeine.
“Usisi wam ngoyena mhlobo wam osenyongweni. Undikhuthaza ukuba ndenze izinto ngawo onke amandla am ndize ndibe nobubele nangakumbi. Undixelela inyaniso naxa sele ikrakra.”—UAmy.
“Xa izinto zazingandihambeli kakuhle, abona bahlobo bam bokwenene abazange bazame ukundenza ndilibale iingxaki zam nje kuphela kodwa bandinika namacebiso anyanisekileyo. Abanye abahlobo bona bandishiya enyanyeni okanye bazama ukundiphazamisa. Babengaboni kwangxaki leyo.”—UMiki.
“Umhlobo wam usoloko esithi ndakunqandwa ziinkwenkwezi yaye undikhuthaza ukuba ndilufikelele usukelo endizibekele lona. Akacengi solalaphi, undixelela inyaniso njengokuba injalo—yaye ndiyayithanda loo nto!”—UElaine.
Ngaba abahlobo bakho bakunceda ufikelele usukelo lwakho okanye ngaba kufuneka wehlise umgangatho ukuze wamkeleke kubo? IMizekeliso 13:20 ithi: “Ohamba nezilumko uya kuba sisilumko naye, kodwa osebenzisana neziyatha uya kuhlelwa bububi.”
Bhala apha ngezantsi amagama abahlobo bakho ababini abaye bakunceda waba ngumntu obhetele.
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Jonga amagama owabhale kula macandelo mathathu angasentla. Ukuba kukho igama lomntu elivela kuwo omathathu, lowo ngumhlobo wokwenene! Kwelinye icala, ukuba ukufumanise kunzima ukucinga ngomntu ozenzayo zonke ezi zinto zingasentla, mus’ ukukhathazeka. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba bakho abantu osele ubazi abanokuba ngabahlobo bakho bokwenene. Kusenokufuneka nje ubakhangele.d Okwangoku, yenza konke okusemandleni ukuze ube ngumhlobo wokwenene. UElena oneminyaka engama-20 ubudala uthi: “Ndisoloko ndizama ukubaxhasa abahlobo bam. Xa umhlobo edinga uncedo, ndiyamnceda. Xa efuna ukuphalaza imbilini, ndiba ziindlebe ndonke. Xa elila ndiyamthuthuzela.”
Kuyinyaniso ukuba usenokwazana nabantu abaninzi yaye oko kubhetele kunokuba yinxalenye yeqela labahlobo elizikhethayo kwabanye. (2 Korinte 6:13) Kodwa ngaba awungethandi ukuba nabahlobo abambalwa ‘abazalelwe ixesha lokubandezeleka’? (IMizekeliso 17:17) UJean oneminyaka engama-20 ubudala uthi: “Kuhle ukwazi abantu abaninzi kodwa ke loo nto ifana nokuba newodrophu ezele ziimpahla ezingakulinganiyo. Xa kunjalo, usoloko unxiba le mpahla imbalwa ikulinganayo. Wenza loo nto nangabahlobo bakho abasenyongweni abambalwa.”
Amanye amanqaku athi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza” afumaneka kwiWebhsayithi ethi www.watchtower.org/ype
[Imibhalo esemazantsi]
a Amanye amagama atshintshiwe.
b Ukuze ufumane ingcombolo engakumbi ngokusebenzisa iiwebhsayithi zokuncokola, funda inqaku elithi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza” kuVukani! kaJulayi noka-Agasti 2011.
c Akusoloko kububulumko ukungazixeleli abanye izinto ozivileyo—ngokomzekelo xa umhlobo wakho enze isono esinzulu, ecinga ukuzibulala okanye kukho nto ithile eyingozi ayenzayo. Ukuze ufumane inkcazelo ethe vetshe, funda uVukani! kaDisemba 2008 kwiphepha 19-21 nokaMeyi 2008 kwiphepha 26-29.
d Ukuze ufumane ingcombolo engakumbi, funda uVukani! kaMatshi 2009 kumxholo othi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . . Ngaba Ndifanele Ndizifunele Abanye Abahlobo?”
[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 20]
INDLELA YOKUFUMANA ABAHLOBO BOKWENENE
1. Khangela abahlobo bokwenene kungekhona igquba nje labantu obaziyo. “Kumnandi ukwazi abantu abaninzi kodwa nakwiqela elikhulu, ukhangela nje abantu abambalwa ovana ngokwenene nabo.”—UKaren.
2. Yiba ngumhlobo wokwenene. “Ndilindele ukuba abahlobo bam banyaniseke baze bathembeke, ngoko ke nam ndenjenjalo kubo.”—UEvelyn.
3. Yiba nombulelo. “Xa ndimxabisa umhlobo othile, ndiye ndimenze ayazi loo nto ngokumthumelela ikhadi okanye isipho.”—UKellie.
[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 20]
BUZA ABAZALI BAKHO
Xa naningangam, yintoni enayiphawulayo ngabahlobo? Ngaba ukho umhlobo owakha waniphoxa? Ukuba ukho, nafunda ntoni koko kwenzekayo? Ngoobani ababa ngabahlobo bokwenene yaye nabafumana njani?
[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 21]
INDLELA YOKWAKHA UBUHLOBO
Ubuhlobo bokwenene busekelwe kwimilinganiselo yokuziphatha efanayo. Loo nto ithetha ukuba umhlobo wakho ufanele abe nokholo olufana nolwakho, aziphathe njengawe aze abe nemilinganiselo efanayo neyakho.
Into yesibini, ekukuba nobuntu obufanayo, ayibalulekanga kangako.
Amaxesha amaninzi, ukuba nomdla kwizinto ezifanayo akudli ngokubaluleka kangako. Unokuba ngumhlobo nabantu abathanda izinto ezahlukileyo nabanobuchule obungafaniyo nobakho.
Isilumkiso: Kulumkele ukuba ngumhlobo womntu othile kuba nje nithanda izinto ezifanayo. Ubuhlobo benu buya kuphela ukuba loo mhlobo akaziphethanga njengawe yaye unokude akufake engxakini.
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OKO KUTHETHWA LOLUNYE ULUTSHA
“Xa uwuxhoma ngokugqithiseleyo umgangatho, awunakuba nabahlobo kuba uza kulindela ukuba abanye benze okungaphaya kwamandla abo. Ukuba umgangatho wakho uphantsi kakhulu, uza kuvumela nabani abe ngumhlobo wakho—kanti ke naleyo ayikho ntle.”
“Abanye abantu abasebenzisa iiwebhusayithi zokuncokola bakhathalela kakhulu inani labantu ababaziyo kunobuhlobo abanabo nabo bantu. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba nabahlobo abasenyongweni kunokwaziwa ngabantu abaninzi.”
“Xa umntu ehleba abanye babahlobo bakhe kum, ndiyazi ukuba kusenokwenzeka ukuba nam uyandihleba kubo. Andiyithandi loo nto. Umhlobo wokwenene akahlebi.”
[Imifanekiso]
UDominique
ULianne
UBrieanne