Isahluko 33

Yintoni Endifanele Ndiyazi Ngokutshaya?

Khawujonge ezi zinto zilandelayo uze ubeke olu phawu ✔ kwibhokisi esecaleni kwendlela ocinga ngayo.

□ Ndifuna ukwazi

□ Ndifuna ukuphelisa uxinezeleko

□ Ndifuna ukwamkeleka

□ Ndixhalabele umzimba wam

UKUBA kukho nayiphi na ibhokisi obeke kuyo uphawu kwiphepha 237, unento ofana ngayo noontanga bakho abatshayayo okanye abafuna ukutshaya.a Ngokomzekelo:

Ukufuna ukwazi. “Ndandifuna ukwazi ukuba kunjani ukutshaya, ngoko ndathatha icuba kwenye intombazana esikolweni, ndaya kuzimela, ndaza ndatshaya.”—UTracy.

Ukufuna ukuphelisa uxinezeleko nokwamkeleka. “Esikolweni abantwana baqhele ukuthi ‘ukuba nje ndingatshaya,’ emva kokuba betshayile bathi, ‘Heke, ndatsho ndangumntu!’ Nam xa ndixinezeleke kakhulu ndandiye ndifune ukutshaya.”—UNikki.

Ukufuna ukuncipha. “Amanye amantombazana atshaya kuba efuna ukuhlala enemizimba emincinane—kulula ngakumbi kunokunciphisa ukutya!”—USamantha.

Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba utshaye, khawukhe ume ucinge. Ungafani nentlanzi ethiyelweyo. Liyinyaniso lona elokuba iyakunandipha oko ithiyelwe ngako, kodwa emva koko iyafa. Kunoko landela icebiso leBhayibhile, uze usebenzise ‘amandla akho okucinga angcwengekileyo.’ (2 Petros 3:1) Phendula le mibuzo ilandelayo.

Ngokwenene Wazi Ntoni Ngokutshaya?

Faka uphawu kwenye yezi bhokisi zilandelayo.

a. Ukutshaya kuza kunciphisa uxinezeleko.

□ Yinyaniso □ Bubuxoki

b. Ndinokungawuginyi wonke umsi wecuba.

□ Yinyaniso □ Bubuxoki

c. Ukutshaya akunakundigulisa de ndibe mdala.

□ Yinyaniso □ Bubuxoki

d. Ukutshaya kuza kundenza ndithandwe ngakumbi ngabantu besini esahlukileyo.

□ Yinyaniso □ Bubuxoki

e. Ukutshaya kwam akwenzakalisi mntu kodwa kwenzakalisa mna.

□ Yinyaniso □ Bubuxoki

f. Akubalulekanga kuThixo ukuba ndiyatshaya okanye anditshayi.

□ Yinyaniso □ Bubuxoki

Iimpendulo

a. Bubuxoki. Nangona ukutshaya kunokubonakala kulunciphisa uxinezeleko okwethutyana, izazinzulu zithi intshongo ilwenza lube ngakumbi.

b. Bubuxoki. Olunye uhlolisiso lubonisa ukuba ngaphezu kwama-80 ekhulwini omsi wecuba owuphefumlayo uhlala ngaphakathi.

c. Bubuxoki. Ngoxa icuba ngalinye olitshayayo lisonakalisa impilo yakho, eminye imiphumo iyakhawuleza ukubonakala. Ngecuba nje elinye, abanye abantu baba ngamakhoboka. Imiphunga yakho iba buthathaka, mhlawumbi ude ukhohlele into engapheliyo. Waluphala usemncinane. Amalungu akho esini asenokungasebenzi kakuhle, ube novalo (panic attacks) uze udandatheke.

d. Bubuxoki. Umphengululi uLloyd Johnston uye wafumanisa ukuba abantu abatshaya bekwishumi elivisayo “abathandwa kangako ngabantu besini esahlukileyo.”

e. Bubuxoki. Nyaka ngamnye abona bantu babulawa licuba ngabo bangatshayiyo kodwa abasezela umsi walo, mhlawumbi isenokuba yintsapho yakho, abahlobo nezilwanyana zasekhaya.

f. Bubuxoki. Abo bafuna ukukholisa uThixo bafanele bazihlambulule “kuko konke ukudyobheka kwenyama.” (2 Korinte 7:1) Alithandabuzeki elokuba ukutshaya kuyawungcolisa umzimba. Ukuba ukhetha ukungcola, usenzakalisa wena nabanye ngokutshaya, akunakuba ngumhlobo kaThixo.—Mateyu 22:39; Galati 5:19-21.

Indlela Onokuxhathisa Ngayo

Ngoko uza kwenza ntoni xa unikwa icuba? Impendulo elula kodwa engagungqiyo, efana nethi “Enkosi, anditshayi,” iya kukunceda. Ukuba loo mntu akayeki okanye uyakugculela, khumbula ukuba le yindlela ozikhethele yona. Usenokuthi:

● “Ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba ukutshaya kunokundigulisa, ngoko ndigqibe ekubeni ndingatshayi.”

● “Ndisafuna ukuphila.”

● “Ufuna ukundixelela ukuba andinalungelo lokuzikhethela?”

Njengolunye ulutsha olukhankanywe ngaphambilana kwesi sahluko, usenokufumanisa ukuba nguwe onqwenela ukutshaya. Ukuba kunjalo, usenokuzibuza le mibuzo:

● ‘Yintoni endiza kuyizuza ngokutshaya? Ngokomzekelo, ukuba ndigqiba kwelokuba nditshaye kuba ndifuna ukwamkeleka kwabanye, ngaba baza kundamkela ngoxa zininzi izinto esingadibani ngazo? Ngaba ndifuna ukwamkeleka kubantu abanokukuvuyela ukundibona ndigula?’

● ‘Ukutshaya kuya kundichithela imali engakanani, kuyonakalise kangakanani impilo yam yaye ngaba abantu baya kundihlonipha?’

● ‘Ngaba ndixolele ukuphulukana nolwalamano lwam noThixo ngenxa yecuba?’

Kodwa ke kuthekani ukuba sele ulikhoboka lalo? Unokwenza ntoni ukuze wahlukane nalo?

Indlela Yokuyeka

1. Zixelele. Bhala izizathu zokuyeka uze uhlale uzifunda. Kunokukunceda ukunqwenela ukucoceka phambi koThixo.—Roma 12:1; Efese 4:17-19.

2. Cela uncedo. Ukuba ubuzifihla ukuba uyatshaya, ngoku lithuba lokuba ucele uncedo kwabanye. Baxelele ukuba ngoku ufuna ukuyeka, ukuze bakwazi ukukuxhasa. Ukuba ufuna ukukhonza uThixo, mcele akuncede.—1 Yohane 5:14.

3. Zibekele usuku oza kuyeka ngalo. Ziphe iiveki ezimbini okanye ngaphantsi, uze ubhale usuku ofuna ukuyeka ngalo kwikhalenda. Xelela intsapho nabahlobo bakho ukuba ufuna ukuyeka ngolo suku.

4. Likhangele uze ulilahle. Ngaphambi kolo suku uza kuyeka ngalo, gqogqa icuba elinokuba segumbini lakho, emotweni nasempahleni. Lilahle. Lahla zonke izinto zokuqhwitha, imicinga nezitya zothuthu.

5. Zama iindlela zokuphelisa ukunqanqatheka. Sela ijuice namanzi amaninzi, uze ulale ngokwaneleyo. Hlala ukhumbula ukuba le nto iza kudlula, kodwa wena uya kuhlala usempilweni!

6. Ziphephe izilingo. Ziphephe iimeko okanye iindawo eziza kubangela ukuba ufune ukutshaya. Kusenokufuneka ukuba wahlukane nabantu abatshayayo.—IMizekeliso 13:20.

Ungaqhatheki

Nyaka ngamnye iinkampani zecuba zichitha izigidi zeedola kwintengiso yecuba. Ngoobani abona bantu zibathengiselayo? Ingxelo yenye inkampani yecuba ithi: “Abona bantu sifuna ukubathengisela ngabakwishumi elivisayo.”

Mus’ ukuphisa ngemali yakho kubathengisi becuba. Kutheni uzifaka kumgibe wabo? Abo bantu okanye oontanga bakho abatshayayo abanaxesha lakho. Musa ukubaphulaphula, kunoko landela icebiso leBhayibhile uze ufunde oko ‘kuyingenelo kuwe.’—Isaya 48:17.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

“Masizihlambulule kuko konke ukudyobheka kwenyama.”—2 Korinte 7:1.

ICEBISO

Kuphephe ukuzithethelela ngelithi, ‘Ndiza kutsala nje kube kanye.’ Abo bazithethelela ngolo hlobo abayeki ukutshaya.—Yeremiya 17:9.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Icuba elingatshaywayo—njengelo lihlafunwayo—linokubangela intshongo eninzi kunelo litshaywayo, yaye linetyhefu enokubangela umhlaza womqala nowomlomo.

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Ukuba umntwana endifunda naye uthi manditshaye, ndiza ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Nangona uzazi iingozi ezibangelwa licuba, kutheni usenokufuna ukutshaya?

● Yintoni ekubangela uqiniseke ukuba ukutshaya kuyingozi?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 240]

“Xa ndinikwa icuba, ndiye ndincume ndize ndithi, ‘Ungakhathazeki, andifuni ukuba nomhlaza.’”—UAlana

[Ibhokisi/Umfanekiso okwiphepha 241]

Ngaba Intsangu Iyingozi Ngolo Hlobo?

UEllen ohlala eIreland uthi: “Abanye bathi batshaya intsangu kuba bebaleka iingxaki yaye ayinamiphumo mibi kwaphela.” Ngaba wakha wayiva into enjalo ngentsangu? Khawuthelekise ubuxoki obudla ngokuthethwa nenyaniso.

Ubuxoki. Intsangu ayenzakalisi.

Inyaniso. Nantsi imiphumo eyaziwayo nekuthiwa ihlala ihleli yentsangu: ikwenza ulibale, ungakwazi ukufunda, ihlasela inkqubo yomzimba yokuzikhusela, yaye yonakalisa amalungu esini kumadoda namabhinqa. Inokubangela ukuba umntu anxunguphale yaye amkelwe ziingqondo. Abantwana babantu abatshaya intsangu basenokungabi nasimilo, bangakwazi ukunikel’ ingqalelo baze bangakwazi ukwenza izigqibo.

Ubuxoki. Ukutshaya intsangu akuyongozi njengecuba.

Inyaniso. Intshongo (tar) yentsangu ingena ngokuphindwe kane kwimibhobho yomoya yaye ingenisa icarbon monoxide ngokuphindwe kahlanu egazini xa kuthelekiswa necuba. Ukutshaya iizoli ezintlanu zentsangu kunokukufakela ityhefu ebangela umhlaza elingana neyepakethe yecuba.

Ubuxoki. Intsangu ayikhobokisi.

Inyaniso. Abakwishumi elivisayo abanengxaki engqondweni nakwiimvakalelo banokukhawuleza babe ngamakhoboka entsangu. Abanye isenokubakhobokisa emva kwethuba elide beyitshaya. Ukongezelela, uhlolisiso lubonisa kuba abakwishumi elivisayo abatshaya intsangu basenokuchanabeka ekubeni ngamakhoboka eziyobisi ezifana necocaine.

[Ibhokisi/Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 244, 245]

Oko Likwenzayo Icuba Emzimbeni Wakho

Khawujonge indlela abaphile ngayo abantu abakwizibhengezo zentengiso yecuba; bathelekise noko icuba likwenzayo ngokwenene emzimbeni wakho

Emlonyeni nasemqaleni Linokubangela umhlaza

[Umfanekiso]

Ulwimi olunomhlaza

Entliziyweni Liqinisa lize linciphise imithambo, libangela ukuba intliziyo ingafumani ioksijini eyaneleyo, likubeka engozini yokuba nesifo sentliziyo ngokuphindwe kane

[Umfanekiso]

Umthambo ovalekileyo

Emiphungeni Liphelisa isingxobo somoya, lidumbise imibhobho yomoya, lize likubeke esichengeni sokuba nomhlaza wemiphunga ngokuphindwe izihlando ezingama-23

[Umfanekiso]

Umphunga womntu otshayayo

Ebuchotsheni Landisa amathuba okuba nestroke kangangezihlando ezine

Kulusu Linokubangela ukuba waluphale usemncinane

Emazinyweni Liwenza abe gqwanci

Esiswini Libangela umhlaza

Kudakada Libangela umhlaza

Kwisinyi Libangela umhlaza

Kwizintso Libangela umhlaza

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 239]

Njengentlanzi ekunandipha okomzuzwana oko ithiyelwe ngako, umntu otshayayo uyalinandipha icuba kodwa ekugqibeleni imiphumo iba mibi

Isahluko 34

Yintoni Ephosakeleyo Ngokuzinkcinkca Ngotywala?

Unokuyiphendula njani le mibuzo ilandelayo? Faka olu phawu ✔ kwibhokisi enendlela ophendula ngayo.

Ngaba omnye woontanga bakho uyasela nangona eneminyaka engavumelekanga ngokwasemthethweni okanye uzinkcinkca ngotywala?

□ Ewe □ Hayi

Ngaba oontanga bakho bakha bakunyanzela ukuba usele utywala?

□ Ewe □ Hayi

Ngaba wakha wazinkcinkca ngotywala?

□ Ewe □ Hayi

KUTHETHA ukuthini ukuzinkcinkca ngotywala? Abanye bathi kukusela ude unxile. Ingxelo yeU.S. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism yazama ukuwucacisa ngokubanzi lo mkhwa. Yathi ukuzinkcinkca “kunokuthiwa kuxa indoda isela iiglasi ezintlanu nangaphezulu ngexesha elinye, naxa ibhinqa lisela iiglasi ezine nangaphezulu ngexesha elinye.”

Ukuba ukhe walingelwa ekubeni usele kakhulu okanye usele ungekafiki kwiminyaka emiselwe ngumthetho, akuwedwa. Ulutsha oluninzi luyanxila.a Kodwa khawuzibuze, ‘Siyintoni isizathu sokuba ndisele yaye iza kuba yintoni imiphumo?’ Ngokomzekelo, unokuyiphendula njani le mibuzo? Faka olu phawu ✔ kwibhokisi yendlela ophendula ngayo, uze uhlolisise ezi zibakala.

a. Abakwishumi elivisayo basela nje kuba befuna ukuva incasa yotywala.

□ Yinyaniso □ Bubuxoki

b. Ngenxa yokuba abakwishumi elivisayo besebancinane, yaye besempilweni, utywala abubagulisi njengabantu abadala.

□ Yinyaniso □ Bubuxoki

c. Akunakubulawa kukuzinkcinkca ngotywala.

□ Yinyaniso □ Bubuxoki

d. IBhayibhile iyakugatya ukusela.

□ Yinyaniso □ Bubuxoki

e. Ekuphela kwento ebangelwa kukuzinkcinkca ngotywala kukugula.

□ Yinyaniso □ Bubuxoki

a. Abakwishumi elivisayo basela nje kuba befuna ukuva incasa yotywala. Impendulo—Bubuxoki. Kuhlolisiso olwenziwe eOstreliya ngotywala, abangama-36 ekhulwini kubantu abaselula ekwathethwa nabo bathi basela nje kuba befuna ukwamkeleka koontanga. Kanti kolunye olwenziwa eUnited States, abangama-66 ekhulwini bathi basela ngenxa yengcinezelo yoontanga. Noko ke, abangaphezu kwesiqingatha bona bathi basela kuba befuna ukulibala iingxaki abanazo.

b. Ngenxa yokuba abakwishumi elivisayo besebancinane, yaye besempilweni, utywala abubagulisi njengabantu abadala. Impendulo—Bubuxoki. Elinye inqaku lephephancwadi iDiscover lithi: “Uphando olusandul’ ukwenziwa luthi abantu abasela beselula babeka impilo yabo engozini.” Ngoba? “Abantu abakwishumi elivisayo abazinkcinkcayo basenokudodobalisa iingqondo zabo.”

Kudla ngokuthiwa ukuzinkcinkca ngotywala kubangela amaqhakuva, imibimbi, ukutyeba ngokugqithiseleyo nokuba likhoboka lotywala neziyobisi. Kusenokonakalisa imithambo-luvo, isibindi nentliziyo.

c. Akunakubulawa kukuzinkcinkca ngotywala. Impendulo—Bubuxoki. Ukusela utywala ngokugqithisileyo kwenza ingqondo ingafumani oksijini yaneleyo; oku kunokwenza amalungu athile omzimba angasebenzi. Iimpawu zoku zisenokuquka ukuhlanza, ukungabikho zingqondweni nokuphefumla nzima. Kwezinye iimeko umntu unokude afe.

d. IBhayibhile iyakugatya ukusela. Impendulo—Bubuxoki. IBhayibhile ayikugatyi ukusela, okanye ayithi abantu abaselula mabangonwabi. (INdumiso 104:15; INtshumayeli 10:19) Kakade ke, kufuneka ube kwiminyaka evunyelwa ngumthetho welizwe lakho ukuze usele.—Roma 13:1.

Noko ke, iBhayibhile iyasilumkisa ngokusela kakhulu. IMizekeliso 20:1 ithi: “Ingumgculeli iwayini, singumxokozelisi isiselo esinxilisayo, yaye wonk’ ubani ohamba ebhaduliswa yiyo akalumkanga.” Utywala bunokumenza ubani enze izinto zobudenge! Liyinyaniso elokuba, busenokukonwabisa okomzuzwana, kodwa ukuba ubusela ngokugqithiseleyo, ‘buluma njengenyoka,’ bukushiye uneengxaki ezininzi.—IMizekeliso 23:32.

e. Ekuphela kwento ebangelwa kukuzinkcinkca ngotywala kukugula. Impendulo—Bubuxoki. Xa unxilile, uzenza isisulu sokuxhatshazwa—usenokude udlwengulwe. Kwangaxeshanye, usenokuba yingozi kwabanye abantu, wenze izinto obungayi kuzicinga nokuzicinga xa ubungaselanga. IBhayibhile ilumkisa ngelithi ukuba usele ngokugqithiseleyo “amehlo akho aya kubona izinto ezingaqhelekanga, yaye intliziyo yakho iya kuthetha izinto ezigwenxa.” (IMizekeliso 23:33) Ngamafutshane, uya kuzenza isidenge. Usenokulahlekelwa ngabahlobo, ungaqhubi kakuhle esikolweni nasemsebenzini, waphule umthetho uze uhlwempuzeke.—IMizekeliso 23:21.

Okona kubalulekileyo, cinga ngendlela ukusela ngokugqithiseleyo okunokulonakalisa ngayo ulwalamano lwakho noYehova. UYehova uThixo ufuna umkhonze “ngengqondo yakho iphela”—kungekhona ngengqondo eyonakaliswe kukusela ngokugqithiseleyo! (Mateyu 22:37) ILizwi likaThixo alichasanga nje kuphela “ukuzinkcinkca ngewayini” kodwa likwachase nokuba ‘sezindywaleni.’ (1 Petros 4:3) Ngoko ke ukuzinkcinkca ngotywala kuchasene nokuthanda koMdali wethu, yaye kusenokubangela ukuba ungabi nolwalamano olusenyongweni noThixo.

Uza Kukhetha Ukwenza Ntoni?

Ngaba uza kuxelisa oontanga bakho abazinkcinkca ngotywala? IBhayibhile ithi: “Anazi na ukuba lowo nizinikela kuye njengamakhoboka ukuze nimthobele, ningamakhoboka akhe ngenxa yokuba nimthobela?” (Roma 6:16) Ngaba ufuna ukuba likhoboka loontanga bakho okanye lotywala?

Yintoni ofanele uyenze ukuba sele uzinkcinkca ngotywala? Musa ukulibazisa, cela uncedo kubazali okanye kumhlobo oqolileyo. Thandaza kuYehova uThixo umcele akuncede. Kakade ke, ‘uluncedo olufumaneka ngokukhawuleza ekubandezelekeni.’ (INdumiso 46:1) Ekubeni ukuzinkcinkca ngotywala nokusela kwabantu abaselula kudla ngokubangelwa yingcinezelo yoontanga, kusenokufuneka wenze iinguqulelo ezinkulu kwindlela okhetha ngayo abahlobo.b Ukwenza iinguqulelo ezinjalo akuyondlwan’ iyanetha, kodwa ngoncedo lukaYehova usenokuphumelela.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

IZIBHALO EZIBALASELISA

‘Inxila liya kuhlwempuzeka.’—IMizekeliso 23:21.

ICEBISO

Zazi izizathu zokuba ufune ukusela. Emva koko cinga ngezinye izinto ezisempilweni onokuzinandipha okanye ezinokukuhlaziya.

NGABA UBUSAZI . . . ?

Ngokutsho kolunye uphando lwaseUnited States, “abantu ababedla ngokuzintyintya ngotywala babengayi esikolweni, bengawenzi umsebenzi wesikolo, besenzakala baze bonakalise izinto ngokuphindwe kasibhozo kunabantu abangaseliyo.”

OKO NDICEBA UKUKWENZA!

Ukuba oontanga bam bafuna ndizintyintye ngotywala, ndiza ․․․․․

Oko ndifuna ukukubuza abazali bam ngalo mba ․․․․․

UCINGA NTONI?

● Kutheni oontanga bakho befuna ukuzintyintya ngotywala kunye nabanye abantu?

● Ngaba oko kuzintyintya kuya kukwenza ube nomtsalane kwabesini esahlukileyo, yaye kutheni uphendula ngaloo ndlela?

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 250]

“Xa abantwana endifunda nabo bendipha utywala, ndiyabaxelela ukuba akufuneki ndide ndisele ukuze ndonwabe.”—UMark

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 249]

Ngoobani Abakwenzayo Oku?

Uphando olwenziwa kubafundi bamabanga aphakathi eNgilani, eSkotlani naseWales lwadiza ukuba “ikota yabantwana abaneminyaka eli-13 nabaneli-14 ubudala yakha ‘yasela’ ubuncinane iiglasi zotywala ezintlanu ngexesha elinye.” Malunga nesiqingatha sabaneminyaka eli-15 neli-16 ubudala kwabo kwenziwa kubo uphando, bakha bakwenza oku. Ngokutsho kweSebe Lezempilo eUnited States, “ulutsha oluneminyaka eli-12 ukusa kwengama-20 ubudala olumalunga nezigidi ezili-10,4 kuthiwa luyasela. Kolo lutsha, oluzizigidi ezisisi-5,1 luzintyintya ngotywala yaye oluzizigidi ezisisi-2,3 lukwenza oko ubuncinane izihlandlo ezihlanu ngenyanga.” Uphando olwenziwa eOstreliya lwadiza ukuba amantombazana azintyintya ngotywala ngaphezu kwamakhwenkwe—esela iiglasi ezili-13 ukusa kwezingama-30 ngexesha elinye!

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 251]

Utywala bunokukuluma njengenyoka