Indlela Imikhaya Ebhekana Ngayo Nokugula Okungalapheki

UKUBHEKANA nesimo kungase kuchazwe ngokuthi “ikhono lokubekezelela ukucindezeleka umuntu abhekene nakho.” (Taber’s Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary) Kuhilela ukubhekana nezinkinga zokugula okungalapheki ngendlela yokuthi ukwazi ukujabulela ukuzilawula okuthile nokuthula kwengqondo. Futhi uma ucabangela iqiniso lokuthi ukugula okungalapheki kuyindaba yomkhaya, uyabona ukuthi kudingeka ukusekela kothando nokuthembekile kwelungu lomkhaya ngalinye ukuze umkhaya ubhekane nesimo ngokuphumelelayo. Ake sicabangele ezinye zezindlela imikhaya ebhekana ngazo nokugula okungalapheki.

Ukubaluleka Kolwazi

Ukukhubazeka kungase kungelapheki, kodwa ukwazi ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nakho kunganciphisa ithonya ukugula okungaba nalo engqondweni nangokomzwelo. Lokhu kuvumelana nesaga sasendulo esithi: ‘Umuntu onokwazi [udlula] onezikhwepha.’ (IzAga 24:5) Umkhaya ungaluthola kanjani ulwazi lokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nesimo?

Isinyathelo sokuqala ukuthola udokotela ongaxoxa naye nowusizo, ozimisele ukuchitha isikhathi echazela isiguli nomkhaya yonke into ngokucophelela. Incwadi ethi A Special Child in the Family iyaphawula: “Udokotela wangempela uyawukhathalela wonke umkhaya futhi unawo wonke amakhono adingekayo ezokwelapha.”

Isinyathelo esilandelayo ukubuza imibuzo eqondile kuze kube yilapho ususiqonda kahle isimo. Nokho, khumbula ukuthi lapho unodokotela, ungase wethuke bese ukhohlwa nokuthi ubufuna ukubuzani. Okunye ukusikisela okuwusizo ukubhala phansi imibuzo kusengaphambili. Ngokuqondile nje, ungase ufune ukwazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyilindele kulokho kugula nokwelashwa nokuthi yini okufanele uyenze ngakho.—Bheka ibhokisi elithi “Imibuzo Umkhaya Ongayibuza Udokotela.”

Kubaluleké kakhulu nokunikeza ukwaziswa okwanele ezinganeni zakubo kwengane enesifo esingalapheki. Omunye umama usikisela lokhu: “Sheshe uzichazele ukuthi iphethwe yini. Kulula ukuba zizizwe zinganakiwe emkhayeni uma zingaqondi ukuthi kwenzekani.”

Eminye imikhaya iye yathola ukwaziswa okuwusizo ngokucwaninga emtatsheni wezincwadi wasendaweni, ezitolo zezincwadi noma kuyi-Internet—kaningi ithola ukwaziswa okuningiliziwe ngezifo ezithile.

Ukugcina Ukuphila Kusezingeni Elikahle

Kumane kungokwemvelo ukuba amalungu omkhaya afune ukugcina ukuphila kwesiguli kusezingeni elikahle. Ngokwesibonelo cabangela uNeil du Toit, okukhulunywe ngaye esihlokweni sokuqala. Namanje isamkhungathekisa imiphumela ewohlozayo yesifo sakhe. Noma kunjalo, uchitha amahora angaba ngu-70 ngenyanga enza lokho akujabulela kakhulu—ukukhuluma nabantu bomphakathi wakubo ngethemba lakhe elisekelwe eBhayibhelini. Uthi: “Kunginika ukwaneliseka kwangaphakathi ukunikeza imfundo yeBhayibheli ebandleni.”

Ukuphila okusezingeni elikahle kuhlanganisa nekhono lokubonisa uthando nokuthandwa, ukujabulela imisebenzi ejabulisayo nokuba nethemba. Iziguli zisakuthanda ukujabulela ukuphila ngezinga ukugula nokwelashwa kwazo okuzivumela ngalo. Ubaba omkhaya wakhe uye wabhekana nokugula iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-25 uyachaza: “Siyakuthanda ukuphuma siyoshaywa umoya, kodwa ngenxa yokulinganiselwa kwendodana yami, ngeke siqwale intaba. Ngakho sikwenza ngendlela ehlukile. Siyaphuma siyoshaywa umoya ezindaweni ezingadingi senze izinto ezikhathazayo.”

Yebo, iziguli zinawo amakhono azenza zikwazi ukuthola ukwaneliseka ngezinga elithile ekuphileni. Abaningi basengakwazisa ukubona izinto ezinhle nokuzwa imisindo emnandi kuye ngokuthi baphethwe yini. Uma bezizwa bekwazi ukulawula izici ezihlukahlukene zokuphila kwabo, bangaba nokuphila okusezingeni elifanele.

Ukubhekana Nemizwelo Enzima

Ingxenye ebalulekile yokubhekana nesimo ihilela ukufunda ukulawula imizwelo eyingozi. Omunye wayo intukuthelo. IBhayibheli liyavuma ukuthi kunezinto ezingase zibangele ukuba umuntu athukuthele. Nokho, lisinxusa nokuba ‘siphuze ukuthukuthela.’ (IzAga 14:29) Kungani kuwukuhlakanipha ukwenza kanjalo? Ngokwenye incwadi, intukuthelo “ingakudla ikuqede futhi ikwenze unyukubale noma ikuholele ekutheni usho izinto kamuva ozozisola ngazo.” Ngisho nokuqhuma kwentukuthelo okukodwa kungabangela ukulimala okungathatha isikhathi ukuba kuphole.

IBhayibheli liyatusa: “Ilanga malingashoni nisesimweni sokucasuka.” (Efesu 4:26) Kusobala ukuthi akukho esingakwenza ukuze sibambezele ukushona kwelanga. Kodwa singathatha izinyathelo ukuze silungise ‘isimo sethu sokucasuka’ ngokushesha ukuze singaqhubeki sizilimaza thina nabanye. Futhi uyokwazi kangcono ukusingatha isimo uma sewehlise umoya.

Njenganoma yimuphi umkhaya, akungabazeki ukuthi nowakho uyoba nezikhathi ezijabulisayo nezibuhlungu. Abaningi bathola ukuthi babhekana kangcono nesimo uma bengathululela isifuba sabo komunye nomunye noma kothile onesihawu nozwela. Kwakunjalo ngoKathleen. Waqale wanakekela unina, owayenomdlavuza futhi kamuva wanakekela umyeni wakhe, owayenokucindezeleka okungapheli futhi ekugcineni waba ne-Alzheimer. Uyavuma: “Kwakuba umthombo wempumuzo nenduduzo kimi ukukhuluma nabangane abanozwela.” URosemary, owanakekela unina iminyaka emibili, uyavuma. Uthi: “Ukukhuluma nomngane othembekile kwangisiza ngagcina umbono olinganiselwe.”

Nokho, ungamangali uma izinyembezi zizehlela lapho ukhuluma. Incwadi ethi A Special Child in the Family ithi: “Ukukhala kukhipha ukucindezeleka nobuhlungu, futhi kuyakusiza ukuba unqobe ukudabuka kwakho.”a

Londoloza Isimo Sengqondo Esiqondile

Inkosi ehlakaniphile uSolomoni yabhala: “Isifiso sakho sokuphila singakusekela lapho ugula.” (IzAga 18:14, Today’s English Version) Abacwaningi banamuhla baye baphawula ukuthi amathemba eziguli—kungakhathaliseki ukuthi mabi noma mahle—ngokuvamile ayawuthonya umphumela wokwelashwa kwazo. Pho, umkhaya ungahlala kanjani ulindele okuhle ube ubhekene nokugula okuthatha isikhathi eside?

Nakuba kusuke kungekhona ukuthi iyakushalazelela ukugula, imikhaya ibhekana kangcono nesimo uma igxila ezintweni esakwazi ukuzenza. Omunye ubaba uyavuma: “Isimo singakwenza ungafuni lutho, kodwa kudingeka uqaphele ukuthi usenokuningi. Usenokuphila, usenamalungu omkhaya nabangane bakho.”

Nakuba ukugula okungalapheki kungeke kuthathwe kancane, ukukwazi ukuhleka izinto ezihlekisayo kunganqanda umoya wokulahla ithemba. Ikhono labakwaDu Toit lokukwazi ukuhleka izinto ezihlekisayo liyalibonisa leli phuzu. UCollette, udadewabo kaNeil du Toit omncane uyachaza: “Ngenxa yokuthi siye safunda ukubhekana nezimo ezithile, siyakwazi ukuhleka izinto ezenzekayo kithi ezingase zibonakale zicasula kakhulu kwabanye. Kodwa ukwenza kanjalo kuyasiza ngempela ekunciphiseni ukucindezeleka.” IBhayibheli lisiqinisekisa ukuthi “inhliziyo eyenamileyo iyikhambi elihle.”—IzAga 17:22.

Imigomo Engokomoya Ebaluleké Kakhulu

Ingxenye ebalulekile yengokomoya kumaKristu eqiniso ihilela ukwenza ‘izicelo zawo zaziwe uNkulunkulu ngomthandazo nangokunxusa.’ Umphumela uba njengoba kuthenjisiwe eBhayibhelini: “Ukuthula kukaNkulunkulu okudlula konke ukucabanga kuyoqapha izinhliziyo zenu namandla enu engqondo.” (Filipi 4:6, 7) Ngemva kweminyaka engaba ngu-30 yokunakekela izingane ezimbili ezinezifo ezingalapheki, omunye umama wathi: “Sifunde ukuthi uJehova uyakusiza ukuba ubhekane nesimo. Uyakusekela ngempela.”

Ngaphezu kwalokho, abaningi baqiniswa izithembiso zeBhayibheli zomhlaba oyipharadesi ongenabo ubuhlungu nezinhlupheko. (IsAmbulo 21:3, 4) UBraam uthi: “Ngenxa yokugula okungalapheki umkhaya wethu oye wabhekana nakho, sithola ukubaluleka okwengeziwe esithembisweni sikaNkulunkulu sokuthi ‘unyonga luyakutshekula njengendluzele, nolimi lwesimungulu luyakuhuba.’” Njengabanye abaningi, abakwaDu Toit balibheke ngabomvu iPharadesi lapho ‘abakhe khona bengasayikusho ukuthi ‘Ngiyagula.’’—Isaya 33:24; 35:6.

Yima isibindi. Ubuhlungu nezinhlupheko ezicindezela isintu ngokwazo ziyingxenye yobufakazi bokuthi izimo ezingcono sezisondele. (Luka 21:7, 10, 11) Nokho, okwamanje abanakekeli neziguli eziningi zingakufakazela ukuthi ngempela uJehova, “uYise wesihe sesisa noNkulunkulu wenduduzo yonke, osiduduza osizini lwethu lonke.”—2 Korinte 1:3, 4.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 8]

Imibuzo Umkhaya Ongayibuza Udokotela

• Lesi sifo sizoba njani ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kube namuphi umphumela?

• Iziphi izimpawu eziyoba khona, futhi zingalawulwa kanjani?

• Yiziphi ezinye izindlela zokwelapha lesi sifo?

• Yiziphi izingozi nezinzuzo ezingase zibangelwe ukwelashwa okuhlukahlukene?

• Yini engenziwa ukuze kuthuthukiswe isimo, futhi yini okufanele igwenywe?

[Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 11]

Indlela Ongasekela Ngayo

Abanye abantu bangase bagweme ukuvakasha noma ukusiza ngoba bengazi ukuthi bazothini noma bazosisingatha kanjani isimo. Abanye bangase beqise, bethi benza lokho abacabanga ukuthi kuyasiza kanti bamane bawenza ucindezeleke kakhulu umkhaya. Pho, umuntu angayisekela kanjani leyo mikhaya enelungu elinesifo esingalapheki ngaphandle kokugaxela ezindabeni zomkhaya?

Lalela ngozwela. ‘Shesha ngokuphathelene nokuzwa,’ kusho uJakobe 1:19. Bonisa ukukhathalela ngokuba isilaleli esihle nokuvumela amalungu omkhaya azethule umthwalo uma efuna ukukhuluma. Angase athambekele nakakhulu ekwenzeni kanjalo uma enomuzwa wokuthi ‘unozwela.’ (1 Petru 3:8) Nokho, khumbula ukuthi abantu noma imikhaya ayisabeli ngendlela efanayo ekuguleni okungalapheki. Ngakho-ke, “unganikezi iseluleko ngaphandle kokuba wazi konke ngaleso sifo noma isimo,” kusho uKathleen, owanakekela unina futhi kamuva wanakekela umyeni wakhe owayephethwe yisifo esingalapheki. (IzAga 10:19) Futhi khumbula, ngisho noma ngabe kuthiwa unolwazi oluthile ngesifo, isiguli nomkhaya bangase banqume ukuba bangasiceli noma bangasamukeli iseluleko sakho.

Nikeza usizo olungokoqobo. Nakuba uqaphela ukuba ungagaxeli ezindabeni zomkhaya, yiba khona uma bekudinga ngempela. (1 Korinte 10:24) UBraam, oye wacashunwa kaningana kulolu chungechunge, uthi: “Abangane bethu abangamaKristu basisiza kakhulu. Ngokwesibonelo, lapho silale esibhedlela ngenxa yesimo sikaMichelle esibucayi, sasihlale sinabangane bethu abane kuya kwabayisithupha ababehlala nathi ubusuku bonke. Noma nini lapho sasidinga usizo, sasiluthola.” UmkaBraam, u-Ann, uyanezela: “Ngalobo busika amakhaza ayeshubis’ umnkantsha, futhi amasonto amabili sasinikezwa izinhlobo zesobho ezihlukahlukene nsuku zonke. Sasondliwa ngesobho elishisayo nangothando olufudumele.”

Thandaza nabo. Ngezinye izikhathi kungase kube kuncane noma kungabi bikho okuwusizo ongakwenza. Nokho, ayikho into ekhuthaza iziguli nemikhaya yazo njengokuhlanganyela nabo iphuzu elingokomBhalo noma umthandazo oqotho. (Jakobe 5:16) “Ungalokothi uwathathe kancane amandla okuthandazela abanezifo ezingalapheki nemikhaya yabo—noma ukuthandaza nabo,” kusho uNicolas oneminyaka engu-18 ubudala, unina ophethwe ukucindezeleka okungapheli.

Yebo, ukusekela ngendlela efanele kungenza lukhulu ekusizeni imikhaya ibhekane nokucindezeleka okubangelwa ukugula okungalapheki. IBhayibheli likubeka kanje: “Umngane unothando ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi umfowenu uzalelwa ukuhlanganyela nawe izinkathazo.”—IzAga 17:17, The New English Bible.

[Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 12]

Uma Kuyisifo Esibulalayo

Eminye imikhaya ingase ibe manqikanqika ukuxoxa ngokufa okusondelayo kothandekayo ophethwe isifo esibulalayo. Nokho, incwadi ethi Caring—How to Cope ithi “uma wazi ukuthi yini ongayilindela noma ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze, kungase kusize ekunciphiseni ukwethuka.” Nakuba izinyathelo ezithile ziyohluka kuye ngemithetho yendawo namasiko, nakhu okunye ukusikisela umkhaya ongase ukucabangele lapho unakekela othandekayo onesifo esibulalayo ekhaya.

Kusenesikhathi

1. Buza udokotela ukuthi yini ongayilindela uma selidumela emansumpeni nokuthi yini okumelwe yenziwe uma eshona ebusuku.

2. Yenza uhlu lwalabo okuyodingeka batshelwe ukuthi ushonile.

3. Cabangela izindlela zomngcwabo:

• Ziyini izifiso zesiguli?

• Ukugcwatshwa noma ukushishwa? Qhathanisa izindleko nezinkonzo zabangcwabi abahlukahlukene.

• Kufanele ube nini umngcwabo? Cabangela nesikhathi sokwenziwa kwamalungiselelo okuhamba.

• Ubani oyophatha umngcwabo noma inkonzo yesikhumbuzo?

• Uyoba kuphi?

4. Ngisho noma isiguli sithule, singase sazi ukuthi kuthiwani noma ukuthi kwenziwani. Qaphela ukuba ungasho lutho phambi kwaso ongafuni siluzwe. Ungase uthande ukusiduduza ngenkulumo epholile nangokubamba isandla saso.

Lapho Othandekayo Eshona

Nazi ezinye izinto abanye abangazenza ukuze basize umkhaya:

1. Vumela isikhathi esithile sokuba umkhaya ube wodwa nomufi ukuze uqale ukukwamukela ukuthi ushonile.

2. Thandaza nomkhaya.

3. Uma umkhaya usukulungele, ungase ulujabulele usizo ekwaziseni abalandelayo:

• Udokotela ukuze aqinisekise ukuthi isiguli sishonile nokuba akhiphe isitifiketi sokufa.

• Abangcwabi, indawo yezidumbu noma abashisi bezidumbu, ukuba banakekele isidumbu.

• Izihlobo nabangane. (Ungase uyibeke ngesizotha indaba usho okuthi makube nje: “Ngishaya ucingo ngokuphathelene [yisho igama lesiguli]. Ngiyadabuka ukusho ukuthi ngikuphathele izindaba ezibuhlungu. Njengoba wazi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi eside ephethwe [yisho isifo], sekuze kwamenela [yisho ukuthi ushone nini nokuthi kuphi].)

• Ihhovisi lephephandaba ukuba likhiphe isaziso ngokufa uma kudingeka.

4. Umkhaya ungase uthande ukuhamba nothile ukuba awusize uphethe amalungiselelo omngcwabo.

[Isithombe ekhasini 9]

Amalungu omkhaya kufanele enze konke okusemandleni ukuze alondoloze ukuphila okusezingeni elihle

[Isithombe ekhasini 10]

Ukuthandaza nomkhaya kungawusiza ukuba ubhekane nesimo