Yenza Umshado Wakho Ube Isibopho Esihlala Njalo

“Lokho akuhlanganisileyo uNkulunkulu, umuntu makangakwahlukanisi.”—MATHEWU 19:6.

1. Siyini isisekelo sempumelelo yomshado phakathi kwamaKristu eqiniso namuhla?

IZINKULUNGWANE eziningi phakathi kwabantu bakaJehova namuhla zijabulela imishado eyanelisayo nehlala njalo. Nokho, impumelelo enjalo esakazeke kabanzi ayitholakali neze ngengozi. Imishado yamaKristu iyachuma lapho bobabili abangane bomshado (1) behlonipha umbono kaNkulunkulu ngomshado futhi (2) bezama ukuphila ngezimiso zeZwi lakhe. Ingani uNkulunkulu ngokwakhe owamisa ilungiselelo lomshado. UyiLowo ‘eyethiwa ngaye imindeni yonke esemhlabeni.’ (Efesu 3:14, 15) Njengoba uJehova azi ukuthi yini edingekayo ukuze kube nomshado ophumelelayo, sizizuzisa thina uma silandela isiqondiso sakhe.—Isaya 48:17.

2. Iyini imiphumela yokuhluleka ukusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli emshadweni?

² Ngokuphambene, ukuhluleka ukusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli kungaletha usizi emshadweni. Ezinye izazi zikholelwa ukuthi abangaba izingxenye ezimbili kwezintathu balabo abashadayo namuhla e-United States ekugcineni bayothola isehlukaniso. Ngisho namaKristu imbala awagonyiwe ekucindezelekeni nasebunzimeni ‘balezizikhathi ezinzima.’ (2 Thimothewu 3:1) Izinkinga ezingokomnotho nokucindezela kwasemsebenzini kungaba nethonya eliyingozi kunoma imuphi umshado. Futhi amanye amaKristu aye adunyazwa kabuhlungu ukwehluleka kwabangane bawo bomshado ukusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli. Owesifazane othile ongumKristu uthi: “Ngiyamthanda uJehova, kodwa sekuyiminyaka engu-20 umshado wami unezinkinga. Umyeni wami unobugovu futhi akafuni ukushintsha. Ngizizwa ngibambeke ogibeni.” Amadoda noma abafazi abaningana abangamaKristu baye baveza imizwa efanayo. Konakelephi? Futhi yini engavimbela ukungashayani mkhuba noma ubutha bangempela emshadweni?

Ukuhlala Njalo Komshado

3, 4. (a) Iyini indinganiso kaNkulunkulu ngomshado? (b) Kungani ukuhlala njalo komshado kulungile futhi kuzuzisa?

³ Ngisho nangaphansi kwezimo ezingcono kakhulu, umshado uyisibopho sabantu abangaphelele. (Duteronomi 32:5) Ngakho umphostoli uPawulu wathi “abanjalo [abashadayo] bayakuba-nosizi enyameni.” (1 Korinte 7:28) Ezinye izimo ezidlulele zingase ziphumele ngisho nasekuhlaleni ngokwehlukana noma esehlukanisweni. (Mathewu 19:9; 1 Korinte 7:12-15) Nokho, ezimweni eziningi amaKristu asebenzisa iseluleko sikaPawulu: “Umfazi kangahlukane nendoda . . . nendoda ingamlahli umkayo.” (1 Korinte 7:10, 11) Ngempela, umshado wenzelwa ukuba ube isibopho esihlala njalo, ngoba uJesu Kristu wamemezela: “Lokho akuhlanganisileyo uNkulunkulu, umuntu makangakwahlukanisi.”—Mathewu 19:6.

⁴ Kulowo ozizwa ebambeke ogibeni lomshado onobutha noma ongenaluthando, lendinganiso kaJehova ingase ibonakale inonya futhi ingacabangeli. Kodwa ayinjalo. Ukuhlala njalo kwesibopho somshado kushukumisela umbhangqwana owesaba uNkulunkulu ukuba ubhekane nezinkinga zawo futhi ufune ukuzixazulula, kunokuba ngokuphamazela udele izibopho zawo lapho kuqala ukuvela inkinga. Indoda ethile esineminyaka engaphezu kuka-20 ishadile ikubeka ngalendlela: “Aninakuzigwema izikhathi zezinkinga. Aninakujabulelana ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kungalesosikhathi-ke lapho isibopho sibaluleke khona ngempela.” Yebo, imibhangqwana eshadile engamaKristu izizwa inesibopho esikhulu kuJehova uNkulunkulu, uMsunguli womshado.—Qhathanisa nomShumayeli 5:4.

Ubunhloko Nokuzithoba

5. Yisiphi esinye seseluleko sikaPawulu esiqondiswe emadodeni nakubafazi?

⁵ Ngakho-ke, lapho kuphakama izinkinga, akusona isikhathi sokufuna indlela yokuphunyuka, kodwa isikhathi sokufuna indlela engcono yokusebenzisa iseluleko seZwi likaNkulunkulu. Ngokwesibonelo, cabangela lamazwi kaPawulu, atholakala kweyabase-Efesu 5:22-25, 28, 29: “Abafazi mabathobele amadoda abo kungathi kukuyo iNkosi, ngokuba indoda iyinhloko yomfazi, njengokuba noKristu uyinhloko yebandla, yena engumsindisi womzimba. Kepha njengokuba ibandla lithobela uKristu, kanjalo nabafazi mabathobele amadoda ezintweni zonke. Madoda, thandani omkenu, njengalokho noKristu ulithandile ibandla, wazinikela ngenxa yalo. Kanjalo amadoda afanele ukuthanda omkawo njengemizimba yawo. Othanda umkakhe uzithanda yena. Ngokuba akakho owake wazonda eyakhe inyama, kepha uyayondla, ayiphathe kahle, njengalokhu noKristu enza kulo ibandla.”

6. Amadoda angamaKristu kufanele ahluke kanjani emadodeni ezwe?

⁶ Ngokuvamile amadoda aye alisebenzisa kabi igunya lawo lobudoda futhi abusa abafazi bawo. (Genesise 3:16) Nokho, uPawulu wanxusa amadoda angamaKristu ukuba ahluke emadodeni ezwe, abe njengoKristu, hhayi omashiqela abalawula yonke imininingwane yokuphila komkabo. Ngokuqinisekile, indoda enguJesu Kristu yayingenalo neze ukhahlo noma ubushiqela. Yayibazisa futhi ibahlonipha abalandeli bayo, ithi: “Zanini kimi nina nonke enikhatheleyo nenisindwayo, mina ngizakuniphumuza. Bekani ijoka lami phezu kwenu, nifunde kimi, ngokuba ngimnene, ngithobile ngenhliziyo.”—Mathewu 11:28, 29.

7. Indoda ingamnikeza kanjani umkayo udumo lapho kudingeka asebenze emsebenzini wokuziphilisa?

⁷ Indoda engumKristu inikeza umkayo udumo njengoyisitsha esibuthakathaka. (1 Petru 3:7) Ngokwesibonelo, ake sithi kudingeka asebenze emsebenzini wokuziphilisa. Iyokucabangela lokhu, ibe ewusizo necabangela ngangokunokwenzeka. Esinye isizathu esiyinhloko esiye sashiwo abesifazane sokuba bafake isehlukaniso ukunganaki kwamadoda abo izingane noma ikhaya. Ngakho-ke, indoda engumKristu ifuna ukuba usizo kuye ekhaya ngezindlela eziphawulekayo ezizuzisa umkhaya wonke.

8. Ukuzithoba kuhilelani kubafazi abangamaKristu?

⁸ Ukwaziswa kwenza kube lula ngabafazi abangamaKristu ukuba bathobele amadoda abo. Nokho, lokhu akusho ukugqilazwa. UNkulunkulu wanikeza umyalo wokuthi umfazi kwakungamelwe abe isigqila, kodwa kwakumelwe abe “umsizi” (“umphelelisi,” umbhalo waphansi we-NW), okubonisa okuthile okufanele indoda. (Genesise 2:18) KuMalaki 2:14, kuthiwa umfazi ‘ungumngane’ wendoda. Kanjalo, abafazi ezikhathini zeBhayibheli babejabulela inkululeko enkulu. Ngokuphathelene ‘nomfazi okhutheleyo,’ iBhayibheli lithi: “Inhliziyo yendoda yakhe iyethemba kuye.” Ngempela, wayephathiswa izindaba ezinjengokuphathwa kwekhaya, ukunakekela ukuthengwa kokudla, ukusingatha izindaba eziphathelene nokuthengwa kwezindlu nomhlaba, nokuqhuba ibhizinisi elincane.—IzAga 31:10-31.

9. (a) Abesifazane abesaba uNkulunkulu ezikhathini zeBhayibheli bakubonisa kanjani ukuzithoba kweqiniso? (b) Yini engasiza umfazi ongumKristu ukuba ahlale ezithobile namuhla?

⁹ Nakuba kunjalo, umfazi owesaba uNkulunkulu wayeliqaphela igunya lomyeni wakhe. Ngokwesibonelo, uSara “wamlalela uAbrahama embiza ngokuthi inkosi,” engakwenzi njengomkhuba wokubonisa isizotha, kodwa njengokubonakaliswa okuqotho kokuzithoba kwakhe. (1 Petru 3:6; Genesise 18:12) Futhi ngokuzithandela washiya ikhaya lakhe elinethezekile emzini wase-Uri wayohlala ematendeni nomyeni wakhe. (Heberu 11:8, 9) Kodwa ukuzithoba kwakungasho ukuthi umfazi wayengenakuthatha isinyathelo esibalulekile lapho kudingekile. Lapho uMose ehluleka ukwenza ngokuvumelana nomthetho kaNkulunkulu wokusoka, umkakhe, uSipora, wavimbela inhlekelele ngokuthatha isinyathelo esiwujuqu. (Eksodusi 4:24-26) Kunokuningi okuhilelekile kunokujabulisa umuntu ongaphelele. Abafazi kumelwe “bathobele amadoda abo kungathi kukuyo iNkosi.” (Efesu 5:22) Lapho umfazi ongumKristu ecabanga ngobuhlobo bakhe noNkulunkulu, lokhu kuyamsiza ukuba angawanaki amaphutha nokushiyeka okuncane komyeni wakhe, njengoba nomyeni wakhe kudingeka enze kanjalo lapho esebenzelana naye.

Ukukhulumisana—Kubaluleke Kakhulu Emshadweni

10. Kubaluleke kangakanani ukukhulumisana emshadweni?

¹⁰ Lapho ummeli osingatha izindaba zezehlukaniso ebuzwa ukuthi siyini isizathu esisodwa esikhulu kunazo zonke sokuhlukana kwemibhangqwana, waphendula: “Ukungakwazi ukukhulumisana ngokuthembeka, ukuveza imizwa engaphakathi, nokuphathana njengabangane abakhulu.” Yebo, ukukhulumisana kubaluleke kakhulu ukuze kugcine umshado uqinile. Njengoba iBhayibheli lisho, “lapho kungekho khona ukululekana [inkulumo eyimfihlo, NW], amasu ayachitheka.” (IzAga 15:22) Amadoda nabafazi kudingeka babe ‘abangane besifuba,’ bejabulela ubuhlobo obufudumele, obuseduze. (IzAga 2:17, NW) Nokho, imibhangqwana eminingi ikuthola kunzima ukukhulumisana, bese inzondo iyakhula kuze kube yilapho kuba nokuqhuma kwentukuthelo ebulalayo. Noma abangane bomshado bangase bacashe ngokwenza sengathi banesizotha, bazigcine beqhelelene ngokomzwelo.

11. Kungathuthukiswa kanjani ukukhulumisana phakathi kwendoda nomfazi?

¹¹ Ingxenye yalenkinga ibonakala iwukuthi amadoda nabesifazane ngokuvamile banezindlela ezingafani zokukhulumisana. Abesifazane abaningi babonakala bekuthanda ukuxoxa ngemizwa, kuyilapho amadoda ngokuvamile ebonakala ekhetha ukuxoxa ngamaqiniso. Abesifazane bathambekele kakhulu ekuboniseni ububele nokunikeza ukusekela okungokomzwelo, kuyilapho amadoda ethambekele ekufuneni nasekunikezeni amakhambi. Nakuba kunjalo, kunamathuba okukhulumisana okuhle lapho bobabili abangane bezimisele ‘ukusheshe bezwe, baphuze ukukhuluma, baphuze ukuthukuthela.’ (Jakobe 1:19) Bukanani emehlweni futhi ninakane ngempela. Yenzani ukuba omunye nomunye akhulume ngokukhululekile ngokubuza imibuzo enokucabangela. (Qhathanisa neyoku-1 Samuweli 1:8; IzAga 20:5.) Kunokuba uzame ukunikeza ikhambi elisheshayo lapho umngane wakho eveza inkinga, lalela ngokucophelela njengoba nisebenzela ukulungisa izindaba. Futhi thandazani ndawonye ngokuthobeka, nifune isiqondiso saphezulu.—IHubo 65:2; Roma 12:12.

12. Abangane bomshado abangamaKristu bangasithengisisa kanjani isikhathi sokubonisa ukukhathalela omunye nomunye?

¹² Ngezinye izikhathi ukucindezela nezinkinga zokuphila kubonakala kwenza abangane bomshado bangabi nasikhathi noma amandla okuxoxa ngezinto ezibalulekile. Nokho, ukuze amaKristu agcine umshado wawo uhloniphekile futhi awuvikele ekungcolisweni, kumelwe ahlale esondelene. Kudingeka aphathe ubunye bawo njengokuthile okuyigugu, okubalulekile, futhi kumelwe athengisise isikhathi ngenxa yabo nangenxa yokukhathalela omunye nomunye. (Qhathanisa neyabaseKolose 4:5.) Kwezinye izimo ikhambi lokuthola isikhathi sokukhulumisana okwakhayo lingaba nje ukuvala i-TV. Ukuphuza ndawonye inkomishi yetiye noma ikhofi ngaso sonke isikhathi kungasiza abangane bomshado ukuba bahlale bekhulumisana ngokomzwelo. Ngezikhathi ezinjalo bangase ‘balulekane’ ezindabeni ezihlukahlukene zomkhaya. (IzAga 13:10) Futhi yeka ukuthi kuhlakaniphe kanjani ukukwenza umkhuba ukuxoxa ngezinto ezincane ezicasulayo nangokungaqondani ngaphambi kokuba kube izimbangela ezinkulu zokungezwani!—Qhathanisa noMathewu 5:23, 24; Efesu 4:26.

13. (a) UJesu wabeka siphi isibonelo sokukhuluma ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka? (b) Iziphi ezinye izindlela abangane bomshado abangasondelana ngazo?

¹³ Indoda ethile yavuma: “Ngokuvamile, kunzima ngempela ngami ukuveza imizwa yami futhi ngitshele [umkami] indlela engizizwa ngayo ngempela.” Nokho, ukuthulula isifuba kuyisihluthulelo esibalulekile sokwakha ukusondelana. Phawula indlela uJesu ayekhululeke futhi ethembeke ngayo kwababezoba amalungu esigaba somlobokazi wakhe. Wathi: “Angisasho ukuthi niyizinceku, ngokuba inceku ayikwazi ukuthi inkosi yayo yenzani, kepha ngithé ningabahlobo nina, ngokuba konke engikuzwile kuBaba nginazisile khona.” (Johane 15:15) Ngakho bheka umngane wakho womshado njengomngane. Methembe umngane wakho ngemizwa yakho. Zama ukubonisa ‘izenzo zothando’ eziqotho. (IsiHlabelelo SeziHlabelelo 1:2) Ngezinye izikhathi ukukhulumisana okukhululekile kungabonakala kunzima, kodwa lapho bobabili abangane bomshado benza umzamo owanele, kuyofezwa okuningi ekwenzeni umshado wabo ube isibopho esihlala njalo.

Ukusingatha Ukungavumelani

14, 15. Kungagwenywa kanjani ukuphikisana?

¹⁴ Ngokuqinisekile, ngezinye izikhathi kuyophakama ukungavumelani kwangempela. Kodwa ikhaya lenu akudingekile ukuba liphenduke ‘indlu egcwele ukuxabana.’ (IzAga 17:1) Qikelelani ukuba ningaxoxi ngezindaba ezibucayi izingane zizwa, futhi bonisa ukucabangela imizwa yomngane wakho. Lapho uRaheli eveza ukukhathazeka ngesimo sakhe sokuba inyumba futhi ecela ukuba uJakobe amuphe abantwana, uJakobe waphendula ngokuthukuthela: “Ngisesikhundleni sikaNkulunkulu okwenqabele isithelo sesizalo na?” (Genesise 30:1, 2) Uma kuphakama izinkinga zasekhaya, yilwani nenkinga, hhayi nomuntu. Phakathi nengxoxo yenu ninodwa, gwemani ‘ukukhuluma ngokungenangqondo’ noma ukungenana emlonyeni ngokungadingekile.—IzAga 12:18, NW.

¹⁵ Yiqiniso, ungase ube nemizwa enamandla ngombono wakho, kodwa lemizwa ingavezwa ngaphandle ‘kokubabayo, nentukuthelo, nolaka, nomsindo, nokuhlambalaza.’ (Efesu 4:31) Indoda ethile yathi: “Xoxani ngezinkinga zenu ngezwi elivamile. Uma omunye ephakamisa izwi, thula. Zama ngemva kwesikhathi esithile. Qala futhi.” IzAga 17:14 zinikeza lesiseluleko esihle: “Yeka inkani, ingakashisi.” Zamani ukuxoxa ngalezizindaba futhi lapho nobabili senehlise umoya.

Hlalani Nithembekile Komunye Nomunye

16. Kungani ukuphinga kuyindaba engathi sína kangaka?

¹⁶ AmaHeberu 13:4 athi: “Ukuganana makuhlonishwe yibo bonke, umbhede ungabi-nasisihla, ngokuba izifebe neziphingi uNkulunkulu uyakuzahlulela.” Ukuphinga kuyisono kuNkulunkulu. Futhi kulimaza umshado. (Genesise 39:9) Umeluleki othile wemishado uyabhala: “Ngemva kokuba sekutholakele, ukuphinga kugadla emkhayeni uwonke njengesiphepho esikhulu, esibhubhisa amakhaya, kuvithiza ukuthembana nokuzethemba, kulimaze abantwana.” Futhi kungase kube nokukhulelwa noma isifo esithathelwana ngobulili.

17. Ukuthambekela kokuphinga kungagwenywa noma kulahlwe kanjani?

¹⁷ Abanye abantu bakhuthaza ukuthambekela kokuphinga ngokugxilisa umbono wezwe owonakele ngobulili njengoba uboniswa ezincwadini, kuthelevishini, nakumabhayisikobho. (Galathiya 6:8) Nokho, abacwaningi bathi ngokuvamile ukuphinga akubangelwa nje isifiso sobulili kodwa kubangelwa isidingo esicatshangelwayo sokufakazela ukuthi umuntu usakhanga noma isifiso sokuzizwa ethandwa kakhudlwana. (Qhathanisa nezAga 7:18.) Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyini isizathu, umKristu kumelwe ayenqabe imicabango yokuziphatha okubi. Xoxa ngemizwa yakho ngokwethembeka nomngane wakho. Uma kudingekile, funa usizo kubadala bebandla. Ukwenza kanjalo kungase kuvimbele ukuwela esonweni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kudingeka ukuba amaKristu aqaphe lapho esebenzelana namalungu obulili obuhlukile. Kuyoba okuphambene nezimiso ezingokomBhalo ukushada nomunye umuntu kodwa ubuke omunye ngokumkhanuka. (Jobe 31:1; Mathewu 5:28) AmaKristu kufanele aqaphele ngokukhethekile ukusondelana ngokomzwelo nabantu asebenza nabo. Gcina ubuhlobo obunjalo bunomusa kodwa bube obomsebenzi.

18. Yini ngokuvamile ewumsuka wezinkinga zobulili emshadweni, futhi lezizinkinga zingaxazululwa kanjani?

¹⁸ Isivikelo esikhulu ngisho nakakhulu ukuba nobuhlobo obufudumele, obukhululekile nomngane wakho womshado. Abacwaningi abaningi bathi akuvamile ukuba izinkinga ezingokobulili emshadweni zibe semzimbeni kodwa zivame ukubangelwa ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana. Izinkinga ezihambisana nalezi azivamile lapho umbhangqwana ukhulumisana ngokukhululekile futhi unikana imfanelo yomshado njengesibonakaliso sothando kunokuba kube umthwalo.a Ngaphansi kwezimo ezinjalo ezifanele, ubuhlobo obuseduze bungaqinisa isibopho somshado.—1 Korinte 7:2-5; 10:24.

19. Siyini “isibopho sokuphelela,” futhi singaba namuphi umphumela emshadweni?

¹⁹ Uthando “oluyisibopho sokuphelela” phakathi ebandleni lobuKristu. Ngokuhlakulela uthando, umbhangqwana oshadile owesaba uNkulunkulu uyakwazi ‘ukuqhubeka ubekezelelana, uthethelelana.’ (Kolose 3:13, 14) Uthando olunezimiso lukhathalela inhlalakahle yabanye. (1 Korinte 13:4-8) Hlakulelani uthando olunjalo. Luyonisiza ukuba niqinise isibopho senu somshado. Sebenzisani izimiso zeBhayibheli ekuphileni kwenu komshado. Uma nikwenza lokho, umshado wenu uyobonakala uyisibopho esihlala njalo futhi uyoletha udumo nenhlonipho kuJehova uNkulunkulu.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

Ubungaphendula Kanjani?

◻ Kungani umshado kufanele ube isibopho esihlala njalo?

◻ Uyini umbono weBhayibheli ngobunhloko nokuzithoba?

◻ Imibhangqwana eshadile ingakuthuthukisa kanjani ukukhulumisana?

◻ Imibhangqwana ingakusingatha kanjani ukungavumelani ngendlela yobuKristu?

◻ Yini eyosiza ukuqinisa isibopho somshado?

[Isithombe ekhasini 12]

Uma umkayo kumelwe asebenze emsebenzini wokuziphilisa, indoda engumKristu ayinakuvumela ukuba athwale ngokweqile