Ngingedwa Kodwa Angishiyiwe Neze

NJENGOBA ILANDISWA NGU-ADA LEWIS

Bengilokhu ngithambekele ekubeni unkom’ idla yodwa. Futhi ngizimisela kakhulu—abanye bathi ukuba nenkani—kukho konke engikwenzayo. Ngiyayazi futhi indlela okulula ngayo ukukhuluma ngokungagwegwesi, futhi lesi sici siye sangibangela izinkinga phakathi neminyaka eminingi.

NOKHO, ngiyabonga ngokuthi uJehova uNkulunkulu akazange angilahle ngenxa yokushiyeka kwami kobuntu. Ngokutadisha iZwi lakhe, ngiye ngakwazi ukulolonga ubuntu bami futhi ngaleyo ndlela ngakhonza izithakazelo zoMbuso wakhe iminyaka engaba ngu-60. Kusukela ngiseyingane, ngangithanda amahhashi, futhi usizo lukaNkulunkulu ekulawuleni inkani yami luye lwangikhumbuza njalo indlela itomu elingasetshenziswa ngayo ukulawula ihhashi.

Ngazalelwa eduze kwechibi elihle eliluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka eMount Gambier eNingizimu Australia ngo-1908. Abazali bami babenepulazi lobisi, futhi ngangiyinkosazana phakathi kwezingane ezingu-8. Ubaba wafa lapho sonke sisebancane impela. Lokho kwangishiya nomthwalo wemfanelo omkhulu wokuphatha ipulazi, njengoba abafowethu ababili abadala kwakudingeka basebenze kude nasekhaya ukuze balethele umkhaya imali. Ukuphila epulazini kwakuwumsebenzi obizelayo, onzima.

Ukuthintana Kokuqala Neqiniso LeBhayibheli

Umkhaya wakithi wawusonta eSontweni LaseHabe, futhi sasingamalungu ayengaphuthi ezinkonzweni. Ngaba umfundisi kuSonto-sikole futhi ngawuthatha ngokungathi sína umthwalo wemfanelo wokufundisa izingane lokho engangicabanga ukuthi kulungile ngokomoya nangokokuziphatha.

Ngo-1931 umkhulu wafa, futhi phakathi kwezinye zezinto ayenazo kwakunezincwadi eziningana ezazibhalwe owayengumongameli we-Watch Tower Society ngaleso sikhathi, uJ. F. Rutherford. Ngaqala ukufunda incwadi ethi The Harp of God nethi Creation, futhi lapho ngifunda okwengeziwe yilapho ngangimangala khona ngokwengeziwe ukuthola ukuthi izinto eziningi engangizikholelwa futhi ngizifundisa izingane zazingasekelwa iBhayibheli.

Kwakushaqisa ukufunda ukuthi umphefumulo womuntu uyafa, ukuthi abantu abaningi abanakuya ezulwini lapho befa, nokuthi akukho ukuhlupheka okungunaphakade kwababi esihogweni somlilo. Kwangiphazamisa futhi ukuthola ukuthi ukugcina isabatha langeSonto lamasonto onke akuyona imfuneko yamaKristu. Ngakho ngangibhekene nesinqumo esingathi sína: ukunamathela ezimfundisweni zeLobukholwa ezingokwesiko noma ukuqala ukufundisa iqiniso leBhayibheli. Ngokushesha nganquma ukunqamula konke ukudlelana kwami neSonto LaseHabe.

Manje Ngase Ngingedwa Ngempela

Umkhaya wakithi, abangane, nengangijwayelene nabo esontweni abazange bajabule lapho ngimemezela isinqumo sami sokushiya isonto futhi ngingabe ngisafundisa kuSonto-sikole. Futhi lapho bethola ukuthi ngangizihlanganisa nalabo okuthiwa abantu bakaMahluleli uRutherford, lokho kwamane kwayibhebhezela kakhulu inhlebo embi. Eqinisweni angizange ngikhishwe inyumbazane, kodwa abaningi emkhayeni wakithi nababengabangane bami babengasenabungane kimi, uma ngibala okumbalwa.

Lapho ngitadisha ngokwengeziwe futhi ngihlola uhlu lwemibhalo eyayifakwe ezincwadini engangizifunda, ngaqala ukusibona ngokwengeziwe isidingo sokushumayela obala. Ngafunda ukuthi oFakazi BakaJehova babehamba indlu ngendlu njengengxenye yenkonzo yabo yasobala. Kodwa ngaleso sikhathi babengekho oFakazi esifundeni sakithi. Ngakho-ke, akekho owayengikhuthaza noma angibonise indlela yokushumayela izindaba ezinhle zoMbuso kaNkulunkulu. (Mathewu 24:14) Ngazizwa ngingedwa ngempela.

Noma kunjalo, umyalo weBhayibheli wokushumayela kwabanye waqhubeka uzwakala ezindlebeni zami, futhi nganquma ukuthi kwakumelwe ngiqale ukushumayela ngandlela-thile. Ngemva kokuthandaza kakhulu, nganquma ukuqala ukuhambela emizini yomakhelwane ukuze nje ngibatshele lokho engangikufunde ekutadisheni kwami futhi ngizame ukubabonisa lezi zinto emaBhayibhelini abo siqu. Indlu yokuqala kwakungeyalowo owayengumphathi kuSonto-sikole engangifundisa kuso. Ukusabela kwakhe okungenabungane nokukhulumela kwakhe okuphambene ngokulahla kwami isonto ngempela kwakungesona isiqalo esikhuthazayo. Kodwa ngezwa injabulo efudumele namandla angavamile ngaphakathi njengoba ngangiphuma kwakhe futhi ngiqhubeka ngihambela eminye imizi.

Kwakungekho ngempela ukuphikiswa okuqondile, kodwa ngangimangazwa ukunganaki okuvamile kwalabo engangisonta nabo ngaphambili lapho ngibahambela. Okwangimangaza futhi kwangidumaza, ngabhekana nokuphikisa okunzima kakhulu komfowethu omdala, okwangikhumbuza amazwi kaJesu: “Niyonikelwa ngisho nangabazali nangabafowenu nayizihlobo nangabangane, . . . futhi niyoba izinto zokuzondwa abantu bonke ngenxa yegama lami.”—Luka 21:16, 17.

Ngase ngingumgibeli wehhashi onokuhlangenwe nakho lapho ngisemncane kakhulu, ngakho nganquma ukuthi indlela eshesha kakhulu yokufinyelela emizini yabantu kwakungokugibela ihhashi. Lokhu kwangenza ngakwazi ukuya ezindaweni eziqhelile ezisensimini yasemaphandleni angekude. Nokho, ngenye intambama ihhashi lami lakhubeka lawa emgwaqweni oshelelayo, futhi ugebhezi lwami lwavaveka kabi. Isikhashana esithile kwakwesatshwa ukuthi ngingase ngife. Ngemva kwalokho kuwa, uma imigwaqo yayimanzi noma ishelela, ngangihamba ngekalishi elidonswa ihhashi kunokuba ngigibele ihhashi.a

Ukuthintana Nenhlangano

Esikhathini esithile ngemva kwengozi yami, iqembu labashumayeli besikhathi esigcwele, manje ababizwa ngokuthi amaphayona, lavakashela isigodi saseMount Gambier. Ngakho, ngokokuqala ngqá, ngakwazi ukukhuluma ubuso nobuso nengangikholwa nabo. Ngaphambi kokuba leli qembu lihambe, langikhuthaza ukuba ngibhalele ihhovisi legatsha le-Watch Tower Society futhi ngibuze indlela engingahlanganyela ngayo emsebenzini wokushumayela obala ngendlela ehleleke kakhudlwana.

Ngemva kokubhalela iNhlangano, ngathola izincwadi, izincwajana, ikhadi lobufakazi elibhaliwe engangizolisebenzisa ekuzethuleni eminyango. Ngazizwa ngisondelene kakhudlwana nabafowethu nodade abangokomoya ngenxa yokuthintana ngezincwadi nehhovisi legatsha. Kodwa lapho leli qembu lamaphayona lihamba futhi liqhubekela edolobheni elilandelayo, ngazizwa ngingedwa kakhulu kunanini ngaphambili.

Ngenxa yemijikelezo yami yokufakaza njalo usuku ngalunye—ngokuyinhloko ngehhashi nekalishi—ngaziwa kakhulu kuleso sifunda. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ngangikwazi ukunakekela imisebenzi yami yasepulazini. Ngaleso sikhathi umkhaya wakithi wawusuyekile ukuphikisa lenqubo futhi ungenzi mzamo wokungivimbela. Iminyaka emine ngiye ngakhonza ngalendlela njengommemezeli wezindaba ezinhle ongayedwa, ongabhapathiziwe.

Umhlangano Wesigodi Nokubhapathizwa Ekugcineni

Ngo-April 1938, uMfoweth’ uRutherford wavakashela e-Australia. Ukuphikisa okunamandla kwabefundisi kwaphumela ekubeni kwesulwe isivumelwano sokusebenzisa iHholo LeDolobha laseSydney. Nokho, ngomzuzu wokugcina, sathola imvume yokusebenzisa iNkundla Yezemidlalo. Empeleni ukushintshwa okuphoqelelwe kwamalungiselelo kwabonakala kuzuzisa, njengoba ezinye izinkulungwane eziningi ezengeziwe zakwazi ukuthola indawo eNkundleni Yezemidlalo enkulu. Kweza abantu abangaba ngu-12 000, cishe isithakazelo sabaningi savuswa ukuphikiswa komhlangano wethu okwakushoshozelwa abefundisi.

Phakathi nokuhambela kukaMfoweth’ uRutherford, kwaqhutshwa omunye umhlangano wezinsuku eziningana eduze namaphethelo edolobha laseSydney. Kwakuyilapho lapho ekugcineni ngabonakalisa khona ukuzinikezela kwami kuJehova ngobhapathizo lwamanzi. Ungacabanga yini ngenjabulo engaba nayo ekugcineni yokuhlangana namakhulu abazalwane nodade abavela kulo lonke izwekazi lase-Australia?

Ukuphindela EMount Gambier

Lapho ngiphindela ekhaya ngazizwa ngingedwa ngempela, kodwa ngangizimisele kunanini ngaphambili ukwenza konke engingakwenza emsebenzini woMbuso. Ngokushesha ngajwayelana nomkhaya wakwa-Agnew—uHugh, umkakhe, nezingane zabo ezine. Babehlala edolobheni laseMillicent, amakhilomitha angaba ngu-50 ukusuka eMount Gambier, futhi ngangihamba amakhilomitha angu-50 ohambweni ngalunye lokuya nokubuya lapho ngehhashi nekalishi ukuze ngibaqhubele isifundo seBhayibheli sasikhathi sonke. Lapho bemukela iqiniso, angizange ngisaba ngedwa.

Ngokushesha, sahlelwa saba iqembu ukuze senze ukufakaza okuhlelekile. Khona-ke, ngokujabulisayo umama waqala ukuba nesithakazelo futhi wahamba nami ohambweni ngalunye lokuya nokubuya lapho lwamakhilomitha ayikhulu ukuze siyofunda neqembu elalisanda kumiswa. Kusukela ngaleso sikhathi kuqhubeke, ngaso sonke isikhathi umama wayeyisikhuthazo futhi ewusizo, nakuba kwathatha iminyaka embalwa ngaphambi kokuba abhapathizwe. Ngangingengedwa manje!

Iqembu lethu elincane lakhiqiza amaphayona amane, amantombazane amathathu akwa-Agnew—uCrystal, u-Estelle, noBetty—kanye nami. Kamuva, ekuqaleni kwawo-1950, wonke lamantombazane amathathu aya e-Watchtower Bible School of Gilead. Abelwa njengezithunywa zevangeli eNdiya naseSri Lanka, futhi asakhonza ngokwethembeka.

Ngo-January 1941 umsebenzi woFakazi BakaJehova wavinjelwa e-Australia, ngakho ngokushesha sathatha isinyathelo esifanele. Safaka konke esasikusebenzisa enkonzweni—izincwadi, amagilamafoni aphathekayo, izinkulumo zeBhayibheli ezirekhodiwe, nokunye—epotimendeni elikhulu elenziwe ngothayela. Sase sibeka leli potimende endaweni yokugcina impahla futhi saletha utshani obomisiwe obugcwele inqola ukuze silimboze.

Naphezu kokuvinjelwa, saqhubeka nokushumayela kwethu endlini ngendlu, kodwa ngokuqapha, sisebenzisa iBhayibheli kuphela lapho sikhuluma nabaninikhaya. Ngangifihla omagazini nezincwajana ngaphansi kwesihlalo sami sehhashi futhi ngizikhiphe kuphela lapho kutholakale isithakazelo esiqotho esigijimini soMbuso. Ekugcineni, ngo-June 1943, ukuvinjelwa kwaqedwa, futhi saphinde sakwazi ukuhambisa izincwadi obala.

Izabelo Ezintsha

Ngo-1943, ngazenza ngatholakalela ukuphayona, futhi ngonyaka owalandela ngahamba eMount Gambier ukuze ngiyothatha esinye isabelo. Okokuqala, ngamenyelwa ukuba ngizokhonza isikhashana ehhovisi legatsha leNhlangano eStrathfield. Ngemva kwalokhu ngathola, ngokulandelana, izabelo zasemadolobheni amancane eNew South Wales engaseningizimu nasentshonalanga yeVictoria. Nokho, esinye sezabelo zami ezazivuza kakhulu ngokomoya kwakungesasebandleni elikhulu edolobheni laseMelbourne. Njengoba ngangivela edolobheni elincane lezwe, ngafunda okuningi ngokukhonza lapho.

Esabelweni sami esifundeni esingaseningizimu saseVictoria, iGippsland, mina noHelen Crawford, engangiphayona naye, sasiqhuba izifundo zeBhayibheli eziningi, futhi ngesikhashana, sabona kwakheka ibandla. Leso sifunda sasinensimu enkulu yasemaphandleni, futhi okokuhamba esasinakho kwakuyimoto endala, engenakwethenjelwa. Ngezinye izikhathi sasihamba ngayo, kodwa izikhathi eziningi sasiyisunduza. Yeka indlela engangikulangazelela ngayo ukuthola ihhashi! Ngezinye izikhathi, ngangisho ngiqinisekile ngithi: “Ngangingashintshanisa nganoma yini (ngaphandle koMbuso) ukuze ngithole ihhashi!” Emadolobhaneni amaningi aleso sifundazwe namuhla, kunamabandla aqinile namaHholo OMbuso amahle.

Ngo-1969, ngathola isabelo sokuya eCanberra, inhloko-dolobha yase-Australia. Lena kwakuyindawo eyinselele nenhle owawungafakaza kuyo, njengoba ngokuvamile sasithintana nezisebenzi zasemahhovisi amanxusa akwamanye amazwe. Namanje ngisakhonza lapha, kodwa eminyakeni yamuva nje ngiye ngagxilisa ukufakaza kwami endaweni yezezimboni kuleli dolobha.

Ngo-1973, ngaba nelungelo lokuya emihlanganweni emikhulu e-United States. Enye into eyayivelele ekuphileni kwami kwakuwukuba isihambeli somhlangano ngo-1979 nokuvakashela izwe lakwa-Israel neJordan. Ukuvakashela izindawo ezingokoqobo ezikhulunyelwe eBhayibhelini nokuzindla ngezenzakalo ezazenzeka lapho kwakungokuhlangenwe nakho okushukumisa ngempela. Ngakwazi ukuzwa ukuthi kunjani ukuntanta oLwandle Olufile, namanzi alo awudedangendlale anosawoti, futhi phakathi nokuvakashela kwethu ePetra eJordan, ngaphinde ngaba nelungelo lokugibela ihhashi. Lokhu kwangikhumbuza lezo zinsuku zakuqala lapho amahhashi ayengenza ngikwazi ukufinyelela ezindaweni ezisakazekile nezisemaphandleni ngesigijimi soMbuso.

Inkonzo Yesikhathi Esigcwele Eqhubekayo

Isifiso sami sokuqhubeka nenkonzo yesikhathi esigcwele naphezu kokukhula ngeminyaka siye sagcinwa siphila ngamalungiselelo akhethekile afana neSikole Senkonzo Samaphayona nemihlangano yamaphayona eqhutshwa ngesikhathi semihlangano yesifunda, kanye nesikhuthazo esiqhubekayo engisithola kubabonisi abajikelezayo. Ngingasho ngempela ukuthi ngomusa uJehova uye waqikelela ukuthi izinsuku zami zokuba ngedwa ziyinto yesikhathi esidlule.

Manje ngineminyaka engu-87 ubudala, futhi ngemva kweminyaka engaba ngu-60 ngikhonza uJehova, nginezwi lesikhuthazo kwabanye okungenzeka nabo bakhuluma ngokungagwegwesi futhi bazilawula kakhulu: Ngaso sonke isikhathi zithobeni ekuqondiseni kukaJehova. Kwangathi uJehova angasisiza ukuba sikwazi ukulawula ukuba kwethu abakhuluma ngokungagwegwesi, futhi kwangathi angasikhumbuza njalo ukuthi nakuba kungenzeka sizizwe sisodwa, akasoze asishiya.

[Umbhalo waphansi]