Usizo Lwangempela Lomkhaya
“Kungokufanelekile ukusho ukuthi kunenkinga yomkhaya eMelika. Akunakwenzeka ukuba kufinyelelwe esiphethweni esihlukile uma kucatshangwa ngamazinga ezehlukaniso, amanani abantwana abazalwa ngaphandle kwezibopho zomshado namacala okuphathwa kabi kwezingane nabangane bomshado.”
LAWA mazwi ashiwo umsakazi wakuyithelevishini yase-United States, uTom Brokaw, angasebenza emazweni amaningi. Isho ukuthini le nkinga?
Umkhaya uyisisekelo esiyinhloko somphakathi ngezindlela eziningi. Uma umkhaya usenkingeni, nomphakathi usenkingeni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umkhaya uwumthombo wokusekelwa kwezingane ngokomzwelo nangokwezimali. Kulapho zifunda khona izifundo zokuqala nezibaluleke kakhulu zokuphila. Uma umkhaya usenkingeni, yini efundwa izingane? Ingabe zizoba ezilondekile? Ziyokhula zibe abantu abadala abanjani?
Ingabe lukhona usizo olunganikezwa umkhaya kulesi sikhathi sosizi? Yebo. Umkhaya uyinhlangano eyasungulwa uNkulunkulu ngokwakhe. (Genesise 1:27, 28) Futhi uye wanikeza iziqondiso zomkhaya ezibalulekile eZwini lakhe, iBhayibheli. (Kolose 3:18-21) Yiqiniso, asinakuwushintsha wonke umphakathi, kodwa singasebenzisa iseluleko seBhayibheli kowethu umkhaya. Sithanda ukukutshela ngabantu abakwenza lokhu nangemiphumela emihle abayithola.
Ukugwema Isehlukaniso
Emazweni amaningana amaphesenti angaba ngu-50 ayo yonke imishado agcina ehlukanisile. Lokhu kuwukwehluleka okukhulu kwabantu ukuba nobuhlobo obuhle! Yiqiniso, abaningi abagcina bengabazali abangabodwa ngenxa yalesi sizathu benza umsebenzi omuhle kakhulu ekukhuliseni izingane zabo. Kodwa abaningi bayovuma ngokuqinisekile ukuthi kungcono lapho umbhangqwana ukwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga zawo bese uhlala ndawonye.
Umshado wombhangqwana othile waseSolomon Islands wawubhekene nenhlekelele. Umyeni, owayeyinkosana, wayenobudlova futhi enemikhuba eminingi emibi. Kumkakhe, ukuphila kwakunzima kangangokuthi waze wazama nokuzibulala. Khona-ke, umyeni wavuma ukufunda iBhayibheli noFakazi BakaJehova. Wafunda ukuthi noma ubani ofuna ukujabulisa uNkulunkulu akumelwe azi kuphela ukuthi yini engafanele kodwa kumelwe futhi ‘akuzonde okubi.’ (IHubo 97:10) Lokho kuhlanganisa nokuzonda izinto ezinjengokuqamba amanga, ukweba, ubudlova nokudakwa. Wakulalela lokhu futhi ngokushesha wanqoba imikhuba yakhe emibi nobudlova ayenabo. Lolu shintsho lwammangaza umkakhe futhi umshado wabo wathuthuka kakhulu, ngenxa yethonya leZwi likaNkulunkulu.
ENingizimu Afrika owesifazane othile ongomunye woFakazi BakaJehova wezwa ukuthi umqashi wakhe nomyeni womqashi wakhe babecabangela ukuhlukanisa. Lo Fakazi wakhuluma nomqashi wakhe ngombono kaNkulunkulu ngomshado futhi wambonisa incwadi enesihloko esithi Imfihlo Yenjabulo Yomkhaya. Le ncwadi, enyatheliswa oFakazi BakaJehova, iqokomisa izimiso zeBhayibheli ezisebenza emshadweni, igcizelele ngokukhethekile indlela iBhayibheli eliyisiza ngayo imibhangqwana ukuba ixazulule izinkinga zayo. Lo mqashi nomyeni wakhe bobabili bayifunda le ncwadi futhi bazama ngobuqotho ukusebenzisa iseluleko seBhayibheli le ncwadi esinikezayo. Ngenxa yalokho, banquma ukungahlukanisi—okwaba ngomunye umshado owasindiswa ukusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli.
Izinkolo Ezingafani
Kuthiwani ngomshado lapho abangane bomshado benezinkolo ezingafani? IBhayibheli linikeza iseluleko esingokoqobo lapho lithi amaKristu ashade “kuphela eNkosini.” (1 Korinte 7:39) Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi umngane womshado uyayishintsha inkolo. Ingabe lokho kumelwe kube ukuphela komshado? Akunjalo neze.
EBotswana owesifazane othile owayesanda kuba omunye woFakazi BakaJehova wabuzwa ukuthi inkolo yakhe entsha yayimshintshe kanjani. Wacela ukuba umyeni wakhe amphendulele, futhi yilokhu umyeni wakhe akusho: “Kusukela umkami aba ngomunye woFakazi BakaJehova, ngiye ngabona izinguquko eziningi ezinhle kuye. Manje usenomoya ophansi futhi unobuhlakani ayengenabo ngaphambili. Waba namandla nokuzimisela ukuyeka ukubhema, okuyiphutha mina engingakakwazi ukulinqoba. Umkami uye waba nothando olwengeziwe ngezingane zami nangami kanye nangabanye. Ubekezela ngokwengeziwe, ikakhulukazi ezinganeni. Ngiyambona esebenzisa isikhathi sakhe enkonzweni yakhe, ezama ukusiza abanye bathuthukise ukuphila kwabo. Ngiye ngabona ushintsho oluhle nakimi. Ngikholelwa ukuthi lokhu kungenxa yesibonelo sakhe ngokuphelele.” Yeka umphumela omuhle izimiso zeBhayibheli eziye zaba nawo kulo mshado! Abaningi abangebona oFakazi baye bakhuluma okufanayo ngabangane babo bomshado abangoFakazi.
Lapho Ubaba Engawunaki Umthwalo Wakhe Wemfanelo
Ubuhlobo obuphakathi kukababa nezingane buyisihluthulelo sokwakha imikhaya eqinile. Umphostoli uPawulu weluleka: “Nani bobaba, ningabacasuli abantwana benu, kodwa qhubekani nibakhulisa ngesiyalo nangokuqondisa umqondo kukaJehova.” (Efesu 6:4) Khona-ke, akumangalisi ukuthi isihloko esikuyi-Wilson Quarterly sasola obaba abangayifezi indima yabo ngezinkinga zezenhlalo. Leso sihloko sathi: “Phakathi kuka-1960 no-1990, inani lezingane ezingahlali noyise abazizalayo liye laba ngaphezu kokuphindwe kabili . . . Ukwehla kwezinga lokunakekela kukababa kuyimbangela enkulu yezinkinga eziningi eziphazamisa kakhulu ezikhathaza umphakathi waseMelika.”
Ingabe lokhu kusho ukuthi izingane ezinobaba abangaziqondisi ngeke nakanjani ziphumelele? Cha. Umhubi wasendulo wathi: “Ngokuba ubaba nomame bangishiyile, kodwa uJehova uzakungamukela.” (IHubo 27:10) Umfana oneminyaka engu-9 waseThailand wakuthola kuyiqiniso lokhu. Washonelwa unina esewusana, futhi ngenxa yokuthi uyise wayengamfuni, wamshiya nogogo wakhe. Ezizwa engafunwa futhi engathandwa, lo mfana wavukela futhi waba nedumela lokuba nochuku. Wayesongela ngisho nogogo wakhe. Lapho abashumayeli bevangeli ababili besikhathi esigcwele abangoFakazi BakaJehova bephawula ukuthi wayevame ukuma ngaphandle kweHholo LoMbuso lendawo, ngolunye usuku bammemela emzini wabo.
Bamtshela ngoNkulunkulu—ukuthi Yena, njengobaba, uyabathanda abantwana bakhe. Bakhuluma nangePharadesi lasemhlabeni uNkulunkulu alithembisa abantu abathembekile. (IsAmbulo 21:3, 4) Lo mfana wakuthanda konke lokhu, futhi wabuya nsuku zonke ezofunda okwengeziwe. OFakazi bamtshela ukuthi kuzodingeka ayeke ukuba nochuku uma ekufuna ngempela ukuba uNkulunkulu abe uYise. Lokhu kwakuvumelana namazwi kaPawulu kwabaseRoma athi: “Ngokusemandleni enu, yibani nokuthula nabantu bonke.” (Roma 12:18) Kwakuzodingeka nokuba asebenzelane ngomusa nogogo wakhe. (1 Thimothewu 5:1, 2) Ngokushesha, wayesesebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli—akungabazeki ukuthi lokho kwayithuthukisa kakhulu indlela ayephilisana ngayo nogogo emkhayeni. (Galathiya 5:22, 23) Ushintsho omakhelwane ababelubona kuye lwabahlaba umxhwele kakhulu kangangokuthi bafuna ukuba izingane zabo zifunde iBhayibheli noFakazi BakaJehova!
Umoya Onokuthula
Umphostoli uPawulu wabhalela abaseKolose: “Gqokani uthando, ngoba luyisibopho esiphelele sobunye. Futhi, ukuthula kukaKristu makulawule ezinhliziyweni zenu.” (Kolose 3:14, 15) Umoya onokuthula nothando olusuka enhliziyweni ngokuqinisekile kuyokwenza umkhaya ube nobunye. Futhi umkhaya ungabuyisana ngemva kokuhlukana isikhathi eside. URukia, ohlala e-Albania, wahlala iminyaka engaphezu kuka-17 engakhulumisani nomfowabo ngenxa yokungezwani emkhayeni. Lapho etadisha iBhayibheli noFakazi BakaJehova, wathola ukuthi zonke izinceku zikaNkulunkulu zinxuswa ukuba zihlakulele ukuba nokuthula nabanye. “Makafune ukuthula futhi akuphishekele.”—1 Petru 3:11.
URukia waqaphela ukuthi kwakudingeka afune ukuthula nomfowabo. Wathandaza ubusuku bonke, futhi ngosuku olulandelayo ekuseni, inhliziyo yakhe ibhakuza, waya endlini yomfowabo. Indodakazi yomfowabo kaRukia yavula umnyango futhi yabuza ngokumangala: “Ubekwa yini lapha?” URukia wacela ngomoya ophansi ukubona umfowabo, wachaza ukuthi ufuna ukubuyisana naye. Ngani? Ngoba wayeseqaphela ukuthi lokhu kuyintando kaNkulunkulu. Umfowabo wasabela kahle, futhi ukubuyisana kwabo kwaphawuleka ngokwangana nangezinyembezi zenjabulo—umkhaya wahlangana kabusha ngenxa yokulandelwa kwezimiso zeBhayibheli.
Ukuzihlanganisa Nababi
“Namuhla, ingane evamile ibukela ithelevishini amahora ayisikhombisa ngosuku. Lapho iqeda esikoleni sabaqalayo isuke isibone ukubulawa kwabantu okungaphezu kwezinkulungwane eziyisishiyagalombili nezenzo zobudlova eziyizinkulungwane eziyikhulu.” Isho kanjalo incwadi ethi The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. Kuba naliphi ithonya enganeni lokhu kuchayeka? “Izazi” azikhulumi zwilinye ngokuphathelene nalokho, kodwa iBhayibheli lixwayisa ngokuqinile ngokuzihlanganisa nababi. Ngokwesibonelo, lithi: “Umngane weziwula uyakushoshozelwa yizo.” (IzAga 13:20) Futhi lithi: “Ukuzihlanganisa nababi konakalisa imikhuba enosizo.” (1 Korinte 15:33) Ukuphila komkhaya kungathuthuka uma ngokuhlakanipha sibheka lesi simiso njengesisebenza ekuzihlanganiseni nababi ngokuqondile noma ngohlelo lwethelevishini.
Umama othile eLuxembourg wayetadisha iBhayibheli nomunye woFakazi BakaJehova. Ngolunye usuku watshela lo Fakazi ukuthi kusihlwa amadodakazi akhe amabili, eneminyaka engu-7 neneminyaka engu-8, axabana kakhulu futhi abe nokhahlo. UFakazi wabuza ukuthi lawa mantombazane ayenzani kusihlwa. Lo mama wathi abukela ithelevishini lapho yena esahlanza ikhishi. Abukela ziphi izinhlelo? “Opopayi nje abathile,” kuphendula lo mama. Lapho isivakashi sakhe siphawula ukuthi lezi zinhlelo zivame ukuba nobudlova, unina wamantombazane wathembisa ukubeka iso.
Ngakusasa, lo mama wabika ukuthi wayeshaqiswe opopayi ababukwa amadodakazi akhe. Babebonisa izilo ezicatshangelwayo zasemkhathini ezicekela phansi ngobudlova yonke into esendleleni yazo. Wachazela amadodakazi akhe ukuthi uJehova uyabuzonda ubudlova futhi akajabuli lapho sibukela unya olunjalo. (IHubo 11:5) Efuna ukujabulisa uJehova, lawa mantombazane avuma ukudweba imifanekiso ethile kunokuba abukele ithelevishini. Ngokushesha ukuziphatha kwawo okunokhahlo kwashintsha, futhi isimo somkhaya sathuthuka.
Lezi kumane kuyizibonelo ezimbalwa zokubonisa ukuthi ukusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli kuthuthukisa ukuphila komkhaya. Iseluleko seBhayibheli sihlanganisa zonke izinhlobo zezimo. Sinokwethenjelwa futhi sinethonya elihle elinamandla. (Heberu 4:12) Lapho abantu betadisha iBhayibheli futhi bezama ngobuqotho ukukusebenzisa lokho elikushoyo, imikhaya iyaqiniswa, ubuntu buthuthukiswe kugwenywe namaphutha. Ngisho noma kuyilungu elilodwa kuphela emkhayeni elilandela iseluleko sikaNkulunkulu, izinto ziba ngcono. Ngokuqinisekile, kuzo zonke izici zokuphila, kufanele sibheke iZwi likaNkulunkulu njengoba kwenza umhubi owabhala: “Izwi lakho liyisibani ezinyaweni zami nokukhanya endleleni yami.”—IHubo 119:105.
[Isithombe ekhasini 5]
Izinkinga zomkhaya ziye zaxazululwa ngokusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli