Isahluko Seshumi Nanhlanu
Ukwazisa Abazali Bethu Abagugile
1. Abazali bethu sibakweletani, futhi ngenxa yalokho kufanele sizizwe kanjani ngabo futhi sisebenzelane kanjani nabo?
“LALELA uyihlo owakuzalayo, ungamdeleli unyoko lapho esemdala,” kweluleka indoda ehlakaniphile yakudala. (IzAga 23:22) Ungase uthi, ‘Angisoze ngakwenza lokho!’ Esikhundleni sokudelela omama bethu—noma obaba—iningi lethu linothando olujulile ngabo. Siyaqaphela ukuthi sibakweleta okukhulu. Okokuqala nje, abazali bethu basinikeza ukuphila. Nakuba uJehova enguMthombo wokuphila, sasingeke sibe khona ukuba abazali bethu babengekho. Akukho lutho esingalunikeza abazali bethu oluyigugu njengokuphila. Cabanga nje ngokuzidela, ukukhathalela kothando, izindleko, nokunakekelwa ngothando okuhilelekile ekusizeni ingane ikhule kusukela iwusana ize ibe ndala. Ngakho-ke, yeka indlela okunengqondo ngayo ukuba iZwi likaNkulunkulu liluleke: “Dumisa uyihlo nonyoko . . . ukuze kukuhambele kahle futhi uhlale isikhathi eside emhlabeni”!—Efesu 6:2, 3.
UKUQAPHELA IZIDINGO EZINGOKOMZWELO
2. Izingane ezikhulile zingayikhokha kanjani ‘imbuyiselo eziyikweleta’ abazali bazo?
2 Umphostoli uPawulu wabhalela amaKristu: “[Abantwana noma abazukulu] mabafunde ukuqhuba ukuzinikela kokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu endlini yakwabo siqu kuqala nokuqhubeka bekhokha imbuyiselo abayikweletayo kubazali babo nakubazali babazali babo, ngoba lokhu kuyamukeleka emehlweni kaNkulunkulu.” (1 Thimothewu 5:4) Izingane esezikhulile zikhokha ‘lembuyiselo eziyikweletayo’ ngokubonisa ukwazisa kwazo ngeminyaka yothando, umsebenzi, nokunakekela ezakunikezwa abazali bazo nabazali babazali bazo. Enye indlela izingane ezingakwenza ngayo lokhu iwukuqaphela ukuthi njengawo wonke umuntu, abantu asebekhulile badinga uthando nokuqinisekiswa—ngokuvamile bakudinga kakhulu lokho. Njengathi sonke, badinga ukuba nomuzwa wokuthi bayaziswa. Badinga ukuba nomuzwa wokuthi ukuphila kwabo kunenjongo.
3. Singabazisa kanjani abazali nabazali babazali bethu?
3 Ngakho singabadumisa abazali bethu nabazali babo ngokubatshela ukuthi siyabathanda. (1 Korinte 16:14) Uma abazali bethu bengahlali nathi, kufanele sikhumbule ukuthi kusho okukhulu kubo ukuxhumana nabo. Incwadi ejabulisayo, ucingo, noma ukuvakasha kungabajabulisa kakhulu. UMiyo, ohlala eJapane, wabhala eneminyaka engu-82 ubudala: “Indodakazi yami [emyeni wayo ungumbonisi ojikelezayo] ithi kimi: ‘Mama, sicela “ujikeleze” nathi.’ Ingithumelela isimiso sezindawo abazozihamba nezinombolo zocingo zesonto ngalinye. Ngingakwazi ukuvula ibalazwe lami bese ngithi: ‘Ah. Balapha manje!’ Ngimbonga njalo uJehova ngesibusiso sokuba nengane enjena.”
UKUSIZA NGEZINTO EZIBONAKALAYO
4. Isiko lenkolo lamaJuda lalikukhuthaza kanjani ukungabi naluzwela ngabazali asebegugile?
4 Ingabe ukwazisa abazali bakho kuhilela nokunakekela izidingo zabo zezinto ezibonakalayo? Yebo. Ngokuvamile kunjalo. Ngosuku lukaJesu abaholi benkolo abangamaJuda babesekela isiko lokuthi uma umuntu ethi imali yakhe noma impahla ‘iyisipho esinikelwe kuNkulunkulu,’ wayekhululekile esibophweni sokuyisebenzisela ukunakekela abazali bakhe. (Mathewu 15:3-6) Yeka ukungabi naluzwela! Empeleni, labo baholi benkolo babekhuthaza abantu ukuba bangabazisi abazali babo kodwa ukuba babaphathe ngendelelo ngokubancisha izidingo zabo ngobugovu. Asifuni neze ukwenza lokho!—Duteronomi 27:16.
5. Naphezu kwamalungiselelo enziwa ohulumeni bakwamanye amazwe, kungani ngezinye izikhathi ukwazisa abazali bomuntu kungahlanganisa nokubanikeza usizo lwezimali?
5 Emazweni amaningi namuhla, izinhlelo zezenhlalakahle ezixhaswa uhulumeni ziyabanikeza asebegugile izidingo ezithile zezinto ezibonakalayo, njengokudla, okokwembatha, nendawo yokuhlala. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kungenzeka ukuthi nasebekhulile baye bakwazi ukuzibekela okuthile kokubasiza lapho sebegugile. Kodwa uma lokhu kuphela noma kubonakala kunganele, izingane zazisa abazali bazo ngokwenza okusemandleni azo ukuze zihlangabezane nezidingo zabazali bazo. Eqinisweni, ukunakekela abazali asebegugile kuwubufakazi bokuzinikela kokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu, okuwukuthi, ukuzinikela komuntu kuJehova uNkulunkulu, uMsunguli welungiselelo lomkhaya.
UTHANDO NOKUZIDELA
6. Yimaphi amalungiselelo endawo yokuhlala abanye abaye bawenza ukuze banakekele izidingo zabazali babo?
6 Izingane eziningi ezikhulile ziye zazigcwalisa ngothando nangokuzidela izidingo zabazali bazo ababuthaka. Ezinye ziye zahlala nabazali bazo emizini yazo noma ziye zathuthela eduze nabo. Ezinye ziye zayohlala nabazali bazo. Ezikhathini eziningi amalungiselelo anjalo aye aba isibusiso kubazali nasezinganeni.
7. Kungani kukuhle ukungaxhamazeli ekwenzeni izinqumo ezimayelana nabazali asebegugile?
7 Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi izinyathelo ezinjalo azibi nemiphumela emihle. Ngani? Mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuthi izinqumo zenziwa ngokuphamazela kakhulu noma zisekelwa emizweleni kuphela. “Oqondileyo uyaqaphela ukunyathela kwakhe,” kweluleka iBhayibheli ngokuhlakanipha. (IzAga 14:15) Ngokwesibonelo, ake sithi umama wakho osegugile unobunzima bokuhlala yedwa futhi wena ucabanga ukuthi angazuza ngokuzohlala nawe. Ukuze uzicabangele ngokuhlakanipha izinyathelo ozithathayo, ungase ucabangele lokhu okulandelayo: Ziyini izidingo zakhe zangempela? Ingabe zikhona izinhlelo ezizimele noma ezixhaswa uhulumeni ezingase zinikeze ikhambi elamukelekayo? Uyafuna yini yena ukuthutha? Uma efuna, ukuphila kwakhe kuyothinteka kanjani? Ingabe kuyodingeka ashiye abangane bakhe? Lokhu kungamthinta kanjani ngokomzwelo? Usuke waxoxa naye ngalokhu? Ukuthutha okunjalo kungakuthinta kanjani wena, owakwakho, nezingane zakho? Uma umama wakho edinga ukunakekelwa, ubani ozomnakekela? Ingabe ningakwazi ukuwuhlanganyela lomsebenzi? Senike naxoxa ngalendaba nabo bonke abahileleke ngokuqondile?
8. Obani ongase ukwazi ukubathinta lapho wenza isinqumo sokuthi ungabasiza kanjani abazali bakho asebegugile?
8 Njengoba umthwalo wokunakekela ungowazo zonke izingane ekhaya, kungaba ukuhlakanipha ukubamba umhlangano womkhaya ukuze bonke babe nezwi ekwenziweni kwezinqumo. Ukukhuluma nabadala ebandleni lobuKristu noma nabangane abaye babhekana nesimo esifanayo nakho kungasiza. “Lapho kungekho khona ukululekana, amasu ayachitheka,” kuxwayisa iBhayibheli, “kepha ngobuningi babeluleki ayakuma.”—IzAga 15:22.
YIBA ONOZWELA NOQONDAYO
9, 10. (a) Naphezu kweminyaka yabo yobudala, yiziphi izinto okufanele bacatshangelwe kuzo asebekhulile? (b) Noma iziphi izinyathelo ingane esikhulile ezithatha ngenxa yabazali bayo, yini okufanele ibanike yona njalo?
9 Ukwazisa abazali bethu asebegugile kudinga uzwela nokuqonda. Njengoba beya bekhula ngeminyaka, abantu abadala bangase bakuthole kuya kuba nzima ukuhamba, ukudla, nokukhumbula. Bangase badinge usizo. Ngokuvamile izingane zikhathazeka ngokweqile ngokulondeka kwabazali bazo bese zizama ukunikeza isiqondiso. Kodwa abantu asebegugile bangabantu abadala abanokuhlakanipha nolwazi abaluzuze kuso sonke isikhathi sokuphila, kuleso sikhathi babezinakekela bona futhi bezenzela izinqumo zabo siqu. Ubuntu babo nokuzihlonipha kwabo kungase kugxile endimeni yabo njengabazali nabantu abadala. Abazali abanomuzwa wokuthi ukuphila kwabo kumelwe bakuyekele ezinganeni zabo bangase bacindezeleke noma bathukuthele. Abanye bayakuzonda futhi abakufuni lokho abangakubona kuyimizamo yokubaphuca inkululeko.
10 Awekho amakhambi alula ezinkinga ezinjalo, kodwa kuwukubonisa umusa ukuvumela abazali abagugile ukuba bazinakekele futhi bazenzele izinqumo zabo ngezinga abangenza ngalo. Kuwukuhlakanipha ukungenzi izinqumo zokuthi yini engcono ngabazali bakho ungakhulumanga nabo kuqala. Kungenzeka ukuthi abasakwazi ukwenza okuningi. Bavumele benze lokho abasakwazi ukukwenza. Ungase uthole ukuthi lapho unciphisa ukulawula ukuphila kwabazali bakho, ubuhlobo bakho nabo buyoba ngcono. Bayojabula ngokwengeziwe, nawe uyojabula. Ngisho noma kudingeka uphikelele ngokuthi makwenziwe izinto ezithile ngokwenzuzo yabo, ukwazisa abazali bakho kudinga ukuba ubanikeze isithunzi nenhlonipho ebafanele. IZwi likaNkulunkulu liyaluleka: “Wosukuma phambi kwempunga, uhloniphe ubuso bomuntu omdala.”—Levitikusi 19:32.
UKUGCINA ISIMO SENGQONDO ESIQONDILE
11-13. Uma ubuhlobo bengane esikhulile nabazali bayo babungebuhle ngaphambili, ingayamukela kanjani inselele yokubanakekela eminyakeni yabo yobudala?
11 Ngezinye izikhathi inkinga eziba nayo izingane esezikhulile ekwaziseni abazali bazo asebegugile ihilela ubuhlobo ezazinabo nabazali bazo ngaphambili. Mhlawumbe uyihlo wayengenabungane, engenaluthando, umama wakho engumakhonya futhi enokhahlo. Kungenzeka ukuthi usazizwa ukhungathekile, uthukuthele, noma uphatheke kabi ngoba babengebona abazali owawufuna babe yibo. Ingabe ungayinqoba imizwa enjalo?a
12 UBasse, owakhulela eFinland, uyalandisa: “Ubaba wokutholwa wayekade eyiphoyisa lama-SS eJalimane yobuNazi. Wayethukuthela manje, abese eba yingozi. Wayemshaya izikhathi eziningi umama ngibuka. Kwake kwathi lapho engithukuthelele, washwiba ibhande wangishaya ngekhongco ebusweni. Langishaya ngamandla kangangokuthi ngawela embhedeni.”
13 Nakuba kunjalo, kwakunolunye uhlangothi lwendaba. UBasse uyanezela: “Ngakolunye uhlangothi, wayesebenza kanzima engazigodli enakekela umkhaya wakhe ngezinto ezibonakalayo. Wayengakaze angibonise uthando lomzwelo lukababa, kodwa ngangazi ukuthi wayeyifihla imizwelo yakhe. Unina wayemxoshile ekhaya esengumfana omncane. Wakhula elwa futhi wangenela impi esemncane. Ngokwezinga elithile ngangiqonda futhi ngangingamsoli. Lapho ngikhula, ngangifuna ukumsiza ngokusemandleni ami kwaze kwaba yilapho efa. Kwakungelula, kodwa ngenza okusemandleni ami. Ngazama ukuba indodana eqotho kuze kube sekugcineni, futhi ngicabanga ukuthi wangamukela kanjalo.”
14. Yimuphi umbhalo osebenza ezimweni zonke, kuhlanganise nalezo eziphakama ekunakekeleni abazali asebegugile?
14 Ezimweni zomkhaya, njengakwezinye izindaba, iseluleko seBhayibheli siyasebenza: “Gqokani ukusondelana okunesisa kobubele, umusa, ukuthobeka kwengqondo, ubumnene, nokubhekakade. Qhubekani nibekezelelana futhi nithethelelana ngokukhululekile uma noma ubani enesizathu sokukhononda ngomunye. Njengoba nje uJehova anithethelela ngokukhululekile, yenzani kanjalo nani.”—Kolose 3:12, 13.
ABANAKEKELAYO NABO BADINGA UKUNAKEKELWA
15. Kungani kucindezela ngezinye izikhathi ukunakekela abazali?
15 Ukunakekela umzali obuthaka kuwumsebenzi onzima, ohilela imisebenzi eminingi, umthwalo wemfanelo omkhulu, namahora amaningi. Kodwa ngokuvamile inkinga enzima kunazo zonke engokomzwelo. Kuyadabukisa ukubona abazali bakho bengasenampilo, bengasenankumbulo, futhi bengasakwazi ukuzimela. USandy wasePuerto Rico, uyalandisa: “Umama wayengumgogodla womkhaya wakithi. Kwakubuhlungu ukumnakekela. Okokuqala waxhuga; wabe esedinga udondolo, kwaba i-walker, kwase kuba isihlalo sabakhubazekile. Ngemva kwalokho kwembulwa kwembeswa waze washona. Waba nomdlavuza wamathambo futhi wadinga ukunakekelwa kwasikhathi sonke—ubusuku nemini. Sasimgeza, simfunza, bese simfundela. Kwakusinda kwehlela impela—ikakhulukazi ngokomzwelo. Lapho ngibona ukuthi umama wayefa, ngakhala ngoba ngangimthanda kakhulu.”
16, 17. Yisiphi iseluleko esingasiza umnakekeli ukuba abe nombono onokulinganisela ngezinto?
16 Uma uzithola usesimweni esifanayo, yini ongayenza ukuze uphumelele? Ukulalela uJehova ngokufunda iBhayibheli nokukhuluma naye ngomthandazo kuyokusiza kakhulu. (Filipi 4:6, 7) Ngendlela engokoqobo, qikelela ukuthi udla ukudla okunomsoco futhi uzame ukulala ngokwanele. Ngokwenza lokhu, uyoba sesimweni esingcono, ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, sokunakekela othandekayo wakho. Mhlawumbe ungase uhlele ukuba ngezikhathi ezithile uhlabe ikhefu esimisweni sansuku zonke. Ngisho noma ungeke ukwazi ukuthatha iholide, kusewukuhlakanipha ukuhlela isikhathi sokuphumula. Ukuze uthole isikhathi sokuphumula, ungase ukwazi ukuhlela ukuba othile ahlale nomzali wakho ogulayo.
17 Akuyona into engavamile ukuba abantu abadala abangabanakekeli balindele ngokungenangqondo ukuthi bangenza okukhulu. Kodwa ungazizwa unecala ngalokho ongenakukwazi ukukwenza. Kwezinye izimo kungase kudingeke ukuba othandekayo wakho umyise ekhaya lokunakekela abagugile. Uma ungumnakekeli, zibekele imigomo enengqondo. Kumelwe ungabi nombono onokulinganisela ngezidingo zabazali bakho nje kuphela kodwa nezezingane zakho, ezowakwakho, nezakho.
AMANDLA ANGAPHEZU KWAVAMILE
18, 19. Yisiphi isithembiso sokusekela uJehova aye wasenza, futhi ikuphi okuhlangenwe nakho okubonisa ukuthi uyasigcina lesi sithembiso?
18 NgeZwi lakhe, iBhayibheli, uJehova ngothando unikeza isiqondiso esingamsiza kakhulu umuntu ekunakekeleni abazali abagugayo, kodwa akukuphela kosizo alunikezayo lolo. “UJehova useduze nabo bonke abambizayo,” kubhala umhubi ngaphansi kokuphefumulelwa. “Uyezwa ukukhala kwabo, abasindise.” UJehova uyobasindisa, noma abavikele, abantu bakhe abathembekile ngisho nasezimweni ezinzima kakhulu.—IHubo 145:18, 19.
19 UMyrna, wasePhilippines, wakufunda lokhu lapho enakekela unina, owayephethwe isifo sohlangothi engakwazi kwenza lutho. “Ayikho into ecindezela njengokubona umuntu omthandayo ezwa izinhlungu, engakwazi ukukutshela ukuthi kubuhlungu kuphi,” kubhala uMyrna. “Kwakufana nokumbona eminza kancane kancane, futhi kwakungekho lutho engingalwenza. Ezikhathini eziningi ngangiye ngiguqe ngamadolo ngikhulume noJehova ngendlela engangikhathele ngayo. Ngakhala njengoDavide, owanxusa uJehova ukuba afake izinyembezi zakhe egabheni, amkhumbule. [IHubo 56:8] Futhi njengoba uJehova athembisa, wanginikeza amandla engangiwadinga. ‘UJehova waba-yinsika yami.’”—IHubo 18:18.
20. Iziphi izithembiso zeBhayibheli ezisiza abanakekeli ukuba bahlale benethemba, ngisho noma lona abamnakekelayo eshona?
20 Kuye kwathiwa ukunakekela abazali asebegugile ‘kuyindaba enesiphetho esingajabulisi.’ Naphezu kwemizamo emihle kakhulu yokubanakekela, abantu asebekhulile bangase bashone, njengoba kwenzeka kunina kaMyrna. Kodwa labo abathembela kuJehova bayazi ukuthi ukufa akusona isiphetho sendaba. Umphostoli uPawulu wathi: “Nginethemba kuNkulunkulu . . . lokuthi luyoba khona uvuko kokubili olwabalungileyo nabangalungile.” (IzEnzo 24:15) Labo abaye bashonelwa abazali asebegugile baduduzwa ithemba lovuko kanye nesithembiso sezwe elisha elijabulisayo elenziwa uNkulunkulu eliyobe ‘lingasenakufa.’—IsAmbulo 21:4.
21. Imiphi imiphumela emihle elethwa ukwazisa abazali asebegugile?
21 Izinceku zikaNkulunkulu zibathanda kakhulu abazali bazo, ngisho noma kungenzeka ukuthi sebegugile. (IzAga 23:22-24) Ziyabazisa. Ngokwenzenjalo, zithola lokho okushiwo isaga esiphefumulelwe: “Mabathokoze uyihlo nonyoko, ethabe owakubelethayo.” (IzAga 23:25) Futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, labo abadumisa abazali babo asebegugile bajabulisa futhi badumise uJehova uNkulunkulu.
[Umbhalo waphansi]
a Lapha asikhulumi ngezimo lapho abazali babenecala lokulisebenzisa kabi kakhulu igunya labo nokwethenjelwa, okungase kubhekwe njengecala lobugebengu.
LEZI ZIMISO ZEBHAYIBHELI ZINGASISIZA KANJANI . . . UKUBA SAZISE ABAZALI BETHU ABAGUGILE?
Kufanele sinikeze imbuyiselo esiyikweleta abazali nabazali babazali bethu.—1 Thimothewu 5:4.
Zonke izindaba zethu kumelwe zenzeke ngothando.—1 Korinte 16:14.
Izinqumo ezibalulekile akufanele neze zenziwe ngokuxhamazela.—IzAga 14:15.
Abazali abagugile, ngisho noma begula futhi beba buthaka, kumelwe bahlonishwe.—Levitikusi 19:32.
Ngeke sibhekane njalo nokuguga nokufa.—IsAmbulo 21:4.
[Isithombe ekhasini 179]
Kuwubuwula ukwenzela umzali isinqumo ngaphambi kokukhuluma naye kuqala