Famle i Seraot​—?Divos i Mekem Wanem Long Ol Yangfala?

OL MAN we oli gat bigfala save long saed blong mared, oli ting se oli stap givim gudfala advaes, taem oli talem long ol papa mama we oli kasem trabol long mared blong olgeta se: ‘Yu mas tingbaot wanem samting we bambae i mekem yu yu glad.’ Oli kwik blong ademap se: ‘Yu no wari long ol pikinini blong yu. Oli fogetem kwiktaem ol trabol we oli fesem long laef blong olgeta. !I isi moa long olgeta blong lan long divos, i bitim we oli lan blong stap wetem papa mo mama blong olgeta we tufala i stap raorao oltaem!’

Be sam man we oli givim advaes ya se divos i beswan rod blong folem, oli jenisim tingting blong olgeta. Naoia oli talem se: ‘Divos i olsem wo. Evriwan oli karekil, wetem ol pikinini tu.’

Giaman Tingting Ya Se Divos i Isi

Tingbaot wan stori we ol man oli save lukluk long televisin mo harem gud long ol fani samting long hem: Papa Mama i divos. Kot i givim raet long Mama blong lukaot long ol pikinini. Biaen, mama ya i mared bakegen wetem wan man we woman blong hem i ded finis mo we hem tu i gat pikinini. Evri wik famle ya we evriwan insaed long hem oli defdefren tumas, i fesem fulap problem. Long program ya blong 30 minit long televisin, oli stretem evri problem, mo antap long hemia, oli tok fani mo mekem ol man oli laf.

Ating plante man oli glad blong lukluk wan stori olsem long televisin. Be taem divos i rili kamaot long wan famle, hemia i no wan fani stori. Hem i wan samting we i mekem evriwan long famle oli harem nogud. Man ya M. Gary Neuman i raetem wan buk (Emotional Infidelity) we i talem se: “Blong hasban mo waef i divos, tufala i mas go luk wan loea we i mekem ol pepa folem loa. Wan long tufala i putum narawan long kot. Taem yu mekem desisen blong divos, pikinini blong yu i no moa blong yu. Mane blong yu i no moa blong yu, mo maet haos blong yu tu i no moa blong yu. Maet yutufala i save stretem ol problem ya long kot, no maet yutufala i no stretem. Wan jaj we i no save yu mo famle blong yu nating, maet hem nao i talem se yu save luk pikinini blong yu wetaem, mo hamas mane yu save kipim. Sore tumas, jaj ya i no tingbaot bisnes ya olsem we yu yu tingbaot.”

Plante taem, divos i jenisim wan problem i kam narafala problem nomo. Yes, hem i save jenisim evri samting, wetem haos blong yu mo mane blong yu tu. Be plante taem ol jenis ya oli no mekem laef blong yu i moagud. Wan narafala samting, hemia wanem we divos i mekem long ol pikinini blong yu.

Divos Mo Ol Yangfala

Divos i save spolemgud filing blong ol pikinini, nating se oli smol no oli bigwan finis. Samfala oli talem se i moa isi long ol yangfala blong winim trabol ya. Oli talem se oli bigwan finis, mo oli stap seraot smol finis long papa mama blong olgeta. Be ol man we oli stadi long bisnes ya, oli luk se i no isi nating long ol yangfala. Oli faenemaot se, from we oli bigwan finis mo oli stap traem blong kam naf blong mekem ol prapa desisen blong olgeta, divos i mekem i nogud moa long olgeta, i bitim ol smosmol pikinini.a Tingbaot samting ya:

◼ Taem ol yangfala oli stap traem blong kam bigman long tingting blong olgeta, oli fraet we oli fraet. Ating long taem ya oli fraet moa i bitim taem we oli smol pikinini. Maet oli mekem olsem se oli wantem seraot long yu, be yu no mas letem fasin ya i trikim yu. Ol yangfala oli nidim famle blong olgeta moa long yangtaem blong olgeta i bitim olgeta yia bifo, from we famle we i stap gud i olsem wan angka blong olgeta.

◼ Ol yangfala oli stap lanem blong fren wetem ol man mo woman we oli bigman finis. Sipos long taem ya i gat divos long famle, bambae ol yangfala oli gat tu tingting long saed blong fasin blong trastem, lavem, mo stap tru long narafala. Biaen, taem oli kam bigman, maet bambae oli no wantem blong wokem wan gudfala fasin fren wetem eni man no woman.

◼ I tru, ol smosmol pikinini oli mekem plante narakaen fasin taem oli harem nogud. Be ol yangfala oli save mekem ol fasin we oli denja moa, olsem, oli kam stronghed bitim mak, oli dring, mo oli tekem drag.

Hemia i no min se ol yangfala we papa mama blong olgeta i divos, oli no naf blong frengud wetem narafala mo gat wan gudfala laef, nogat. Oli naf blong winim trabol ya, antap moa, sipos oli frengud wetem papa mama tugeta.b Be man we i ting se oltaem divos bambae i mekem ‘i moagud long pikinini’ no divos bambae i finisim ol raorao, man ya i no gat save. Sam man mo woman oli faenemaot se afta we oli divos, man no woman blong olgeta we oli “no moa wantem luk hem,” i mekem moa trabol long olgeta i bitim bifo we oli divos. Hemia ol trabol long saed blong mane, mo tu, long saed blong kwestin ya se weswan long tufala bambae i lukaot long pikinini. Long taem olsem, divos i no finisim ol problem long famle, be i seftem ol problem ya oli go long kot haos nomo.

Wan Narafala Rod Bakegen

?Olsem wanem sipos mared blong yu i no hapi mo yu tingting finis blong mekem divos? Ol save ya we yumi jes tokbaot, i givim plante risen long yu blong tingting bakegen. Divos i no rod blong stretem trabol long wan mared we i no rongud.

Be yu no mas gat rong tingting se i gat wan rod nomo, hemia blong gohed blong harem nogud long wan mared we i fulap long trabol. I gat wan narafala samting we yu save mekem: Sipos i gat trabol long mared blong yu, i gud yu traehad blong mekem i kamgud moa. Yu no mas hareap blong talem se i no gat rod blong stretem ol problem long mared blong yu. Traem ansa long ol kwestin ya:

◼ ‘?Wanem ol fasin blong man no woman blong mi we oli pulum mi blong laekem hem fastaem? ?Hem i gat sam long ol fasin ya yet?’—Ol Proveb 31:10, 29.

◼ ‘?Mi save wokem bakegen filing we mi mi gat bifo we mitufala i mared?’—Sing blong Solomon 2:2; 4:7.

◼ ‘Nating se man no woman blong mi i mekem olsem wanem, ?mi mi save mekem wanem blong folem ol advaes long pej 3 kasem 9 blong Wekap! ya?’—Rom 12:18.

◼ ‘?Mi mi save eksplenem long man no woman blong mi (stret long fes blong hem no long wan leta), ol samting long saed blong mared blong mitufala we mi wantem se oli kamgud?’—Job 10:1, NW.

◼ ‘?Mitufala i save sidaon wetem wan fren we i bigman long tingting blong hem, blong hem i halpem mitufala blong tingbaot sam samting we mitufala i save mekem, blong mared blong mitufala i kamgud?’—Ol Proveb 27:17.

Baebol i talem se: “Man we i gat hed, hem i stap lukluk gud long rod we bambae i folem.” (Ol Proveb 14:15) Man i mas folem stamba trutok ya taem hem i jusum wan fren blong mared wetem, be i no long taem ya nomo. Hem i mas folem tu, long taem ya we hem i stap tingting long samting we hem i mas mekem blong stretem trabol long mared blong hem. Olsem yumi ridim long pej 9 blong Wekap! ya, ol gudfala famle tu oli kasem problem. Be samting we i defren long saed blong olgeta, hemia fasin blong olgeta blong stretem ol problem.

Tingbaot sipos yu go long wan longfala trip long trak. Ating bambae yu kasem sam problem long rod, maet ren, sofmad, mo maet oli blokem rod from we oli stap mekem wok long hem. Maet yu save lusum rod tu. ?Bambae yu mekem wanem? ?Bambae yu tanraon blong gobak, no bambae yu traem winim trabol ya mo gohed? Long dei blong mared blong yu, yu statem wan longfala trip. Yu mas kasem sam problem long trip ya. Baebol i talem se: “Olgeta we oli mared, oli gat trabol long laef blong olgeta.” (1 Korin 7:28) Bigfala kwestin, i no se bambae i gat problem no nogat, be, bambae yu mekem olsem wanem taem problem i kamaot. ?Yu save winim trabol ya mo gohed? Nating we yu harem se yu lusum rod finis long mared blong yu, ?be bambae yu lukaot help yet?—Jemes 5:14.

God i Stanemap Fasin Blong Mared

God nao i stanemap fasin blong mared, taswe yumi mas tinghae long mared. (Jenesis 2:24) Taem yu ting se ol problem oli bigwan tumas we yu no moa save winim olgeta, tingtingbak long ol save long haf ya.

1. Traem wokem bakegen lav ya we i mekem se yu gat filing long man no woman blong yu fastaem.—Sing blong Solomon 8:6.

2. Mekem desisen long saed blong samting we yu yu save mekem blong givhan long mared blong yu. Biaen, yu mas mekem samting ya.—Jemes 1:22.

3. Toktok wetem respek no raetem wan leta long man no woman blong yu, blong eksplenem klia wanem samting we yu yu ting se yutufala i mas mekem blong mared blong yutufala i kamgud.—Job 7:11.

4. Askem help long narafala. !I no nid blong yu wan nomo yu traem sevem mared blong yu!

[Ol futnot]

[Bokis/Foto blong pija long pej 19]

‘NAMBA TU MARED YA, BAMBAE I MOAGUD’

Ol man we oli stadi long ol mared, oli faenemaot se namba blong ol divos i hae moa long olgeta we oli mared namba tu taem, i bitim long ol faswan mared. Mo namba blong ol divos long namba tri mared, i antap moa bakegen. Long buk blong M. Gary Neuman (Emotional Infidelity), hem i talem wan risen from wanem i olsem, i se: “Sipos yu gat trabol long faswan mared blong yu, hemia i no from we yu jusum rong man no woman. Hemia from yu nomo. Yu yu bin lavem faswan man no woman blong yu. Nating sipos yutufala i gat gudfala laef naoia no nogat, be yutufala nao i bin wok tugeta blong mekem samting ya.” ?Masta Neuman i givim wanem advaes? “I moagud blong aotem problem mo holemtaet man no woman blong yu, i bitim we yu aotem man no woman blong yu mo holemtaet problem.”

[Bokis blong pija long pej 21]

TAEM WAN MARED I BROK

Baebol i soemaot se i gat sam taem we bigfala trabol long mared i mekem se man mo woman i divos.c Sipos samting ya i hapen long yu, ?olsem wanem yu save givhan long ol yangfala blong yu blong oli lan long wan defren laef?

Talem long yangfala blong yu wanem i hapen. I moagud we papa mama tugeta i toktok long yangfala. Tufala i mas mekem yangfala ya i save se mared blong tufala bambae i finis. Tufala i mas talem long yangfala se i no hem we i stamba blong problem ya, mo se bambae tufala tugeta i gohed blong lavem hem.

No moa faet—wo i finis. Sam papa mo mama oli gohed blong raorao longtaem afta we oli divos. Wan man we i stadi long bisnes ya i talem se oli “divos long pepa be oli mared yet long filing, taswe oli kam olsem ol ami we oli no save faenem rod blong mekem pis wetem enemi blong olgeta.” Sipos Papa Mama i stap raorao oltaem, nao tufala i no moa gat taem blong spenem wetem yangfala blong tufala, hem i save harem se i no moa gat wan papa mama. Mo tu, fasin blong tufala blong gohed blong raorao i save pulum yangfala blong traem mekem we tufala i agensem tufala from samting we hem i wantem. Olsem nao, maet wan boe i talem long mama blong hem se: “Papa i letem mi mi kamhom let long naet, long taem we mi mi wantem. ?From wanem yu yu no olsem?” Mama i no wantem we boe blong hem i go joen long “enemi ya,” i min se papa blong hem, ale hem i letem boe ya i mekem olsem we hem i wantem.

Letem yangfala blong yu i toktok. Ol yangfala oli save tingting olsem: ‘Sipos Papa Mama tufala i no moa lavlavem tufala, ating tufala i no moa lavem mi tu,’ no ‘Papa Mama tufala i brekem ol rul. ?From wanem mi tu mi no save mekem olsem?’ Blong mekem se yangfala blong yu i no fraet, mo blong stretem enikaen rong tingting we hem i gat, yu mas givim plante janis long hem blong toktok. !Be lukaot! Yu no mas jenisim ples wetem hem nao yu yu kam olsem yangfala mo hem i kam olsem Papa no Mama. Yu save mekem samting ya sipos yu lukluk i go long hem blong mekem filing blong yu i kamgud. Yu mas tingbaot se, hem i pikinini blong yu, hem i no wan man we yu talemaot ol trabol blong yu long hem.

Pulum yangfala blong frengud wetem Papa no Mama we i no moa stap. Man no woman we yu mekem divos long hem, hem i no moa hasban no waef blong yu. Be hem i papa no mama blong pikinini blong yu yet. Sipos yu tok nogud long saed blong hem, bambae yu mekem moa trabol i kamaot. Wan buk (Teens in Turmoil—A Path to Change for Parents, Adolescents, and Their Families) i talem se: “Sipos Papa mo Mama we tufala i divos, tufala i yusum pikinini blong tufala olsem wan tul blong faet long wo blong tufala, bambae tufala i kasem rabis frut blong sid we tufala i planem.”

Lukaotgud long yu wan. Samtaem bambae yu harem se evri samting i hevi tumas long yu. Be yu no mas lego. Folem wan gudfala program. Sipos yu yu wan trufala Kristin, joen fulwan long olgeta wok long saed blong wosip blong yu. Sipos yu mekem olsem, bambae hemia i givhan long yu mo yangfala blong yu blong yutufala i stap gud.—Ol Sam 18:2; Matiu 28:19, 20; Hibrus 10:24, 25.

[Futnot]

[Tok blong pija long pej 20]

Wok strong blong holem promes we yu mekem long dei blong mared blong yu

[Tok blong pija long pej 21]

Sipos yangfala blong yu i stap spenem taem wetem papa no mama blong hem we i no moa stap wetem yu, yu mas pulum hem blong gat respek yet long papa no mama ya