Japta 32

?Olsem Wanem Blong Savegud Fren We Bambae Mi Mared Wetem?

“MARED blong plante man oli foldaon from we oli no savegud fren we bambae oli mared wetem. Yumi no save bitim mak blong tokbaot poen ya bakegen.” Paul H. Landis, wan man blong stadi long bisnes ya blong famle i talem olsem. Louise i sapotem tok ya tu. Hem i eksplenem se: “Bigfala mastik blong mi i blong frengud tumas wetem Andy bifo we mi mi savegud hem. Mitufala i stap wokbaot mitufala nomo. Mi neva luk fasin blong hem taem i stap wetem ol narafala.” Mared blong tufala i finis kwiktaem wetem divos. ?Olsem wanem blong no kasem trabol ya? !Yu mas savegud man we bambae yu mared wetem!

Bifo We Yu Goaot Wetem Wan Boefren No Wan Gelfren

“Waes man [no woman] i lukluk mo i tingtinggud bifo hem i wokbaot.” (Ol Proveb 14:15, The Amplified Bible) Filing blong lav long wan man no woman we yu no savegud hem, i save mekem trabol i kamaot—nating sipos yu yu laekem hem. !Filing ya i save pulum yu blong mared wetem wan man no wan woman we ol filing mo ol mak blong hem oli no sem mak nating long ol filing mo ol mak blong yu! Taswe i waes fastaem blong lukluk man no woman ya long medel blong plante man, maet taem yufala i stap glad long spel mo pleplei.

Dave we hem i stap glad long mared blong hem long ten yia finis, hem i eksplenem se, “Mi mi save se sipos mi mi fren tumas long hem fastaem, ol filing blong mi bambae oli spolem mi blong mi skelemgud hem. Taswe mi stap longwe be mi stap lukluk Rose, hem i no save se mi mi intres long hem. Mi stap lukluk olsem wanem hem i stap toktok wetem ol narafala, no sipos hem i wan gel we i stap pleplei nomo wetem filing blong man. Long ol storian, mi faenemaot ol fasin mo ol mak blong hem.” I gud tu blong toktok wetem wan narafala we i savegud hem, blong faenemaot sipos hem i gat gudnem.—Skelem wetem Ol Proveb 31:31.

Ol Faswan Dei Blong Goaot Wetem Hem

Afta we yu mekem disisen se man ya no woman ya bambae hem i wan gudfala hasban no waef blong yu, yu save go luk hem stret mo talemaot se yu wantem save hem moa.a Taem yu faenemaot se ansa i gud, faswan taem we yu goaot wetem hem i no mas samting we i pulum ae blong ol man. Maet yu save tekem hem long wan kakae no maet yufala i save goaot olsem wan grup we bambae i givhan long yu blong savegud hem moa blong yu save skelem sipos yu wantem gohed blong fren moa wetem hem no no gat. Tekem janis blong toktok wetem hem i save givhan blong mekem fasin sem we yutufala i harem fastaem i finis. Mo sipos yu no bitim mak blong soemaot ol filing blong lav, bambae yu yu daonem ol nogud filing—no fasin sem—sipos wan long yutufala i no moa intres long narawan.

Nating se wanem promes yu mekem blong goaot wetem hem, yu no mas let, werem ol gudfala klos we i stret. Storian olsem man no woman we i gat gudhan blong storian. Rere blong lesin long hem. (Jemes 1:19) Nating se i no gat ol bigfala rul long ol samting olsem, wan yangfala man bambae i wantem folem ol rul blong gudfala fasin long ples we hem i stap long hem. Maet hem i fasin blong openem doa long ol yangfala woman no soem ples blong sidaon long hem. Wan yangfala woman we i no tingbaot se boefren blong hem i mas mekem hem olsem ol pikinini gel blong king, i mas obei mo gat tingting daon taem boefren blong hem i traehad blong mekem olsem long hem. Taem tufala i stap gat respek long tufala, tufala i stap soem wan eksampol long fiuja. Baebol i talem long ol hasban blong ‘ona long ol woman blong olgeta, from we oli no strong olsem olgeta.’ Mo waef i mas “ona gud long man blong hem.”—1 Pita 3:7; Efesas 5:33.

I stret blong holem han, kis, no holem tufala? ?Mo sipos i stret, wetaem oli save mekem? Fasin blong soemaot lav long narawan, sipos i wan trufala filing long narawan mo i no kamaot from fasin blong tingbaot hem nomo, fasin ya i klin mo tu hem i stret. Baebol buk blong Sing Blong Solomon i soemaot se sam fasin blong soem filing i kamaot bitwin woman Sulam mo man blong lukaot sipsip. Woman ya i laekem hem tumas mo i no longtaem bambae hem i mared wetem hem. (Sing Blong Solomon 1:2; 2:6; 8:5) Sem mak long tufala ya long taem bifo we i mekem fren long fasin we i klin, tufala tede tufala i mas lukaotgud se ol fasin ya blong soemaot lav blong tufala oli no pulum tufala blong mekem rabis fasin long saed blong seks.b (Galesia 5:19, 21) I stret, se tufala i save soem ol filing ya nomo sipos fasin fren blong tufala i kasem mak we mared i mas kamaot from. Sipos yu bos long tingting blong yu, yu no save lego mak ya blong savegud man no woman we bambae yu mared wetem, olsem . . .

Save “Man We i Stap Haed Insaed Long Hat”

Wan tim blong stadi i givim ripot long Journal of Marriage and the Family we i kamaot long Mei 1980, i se: “Mared i save stap longtaem mo ol man oli save haremgud long hem sipos oli savegud hat blong olgeta wanwan.” Yes, i impoten blong save “man we i stap haed insaed long hat” blong fren blong yu.—1 Pita 3:4, NW.

Be, i nidim fasin traehad mo fasin luksave blong “faenemaot” stamba tingting we i stap long hat blong narafala man. (Ol Proveb 20:5) Taswe yu mas mekem sam samting we oli save givhan long yu blong lukluk wanem i stap long hat blong fren blong yu. Maet fastaem yutufala i go long sinema no konset nomo, be biaen i gud blong joen long ol samting we oli save givim janis long yutufala blong storian (olsem fasin blong pleplei wetem rola sket, bol, mo visitim ples blong ol anamol, ples blong putum ol samting blong bifo, mo ples we oli stap putum ol pija long hem,) i save givhan long yu blong savegud fren blong yu.

Blong kasem save ol filing blong fren blong yu, traem yusum ol kwestin olsem ya, ‘?Wanem samting yu stap mekem long fri taem blong yu?’ ‘?Sipos yu gat mane, bambae yu laekem blong mekem wanem?’ ‘?Wanem haf blong wosip blong yumi long God yu yu laekem moa? ?From wanem?’ Ol ansa blong ol kwestin ya bambae oli kamaot long hat we oli save givhan long yu blong save ol samting we fren blong yu i stap tingbaot.

Taem fasin fren blong yutufala i kam strong moa mo yutufala i rili tingbaot mared, i impoten blong tokbaot ol impoten samting long saed blong fasin blong yufala; weples mo olsem wanem bambae yutufala i laef; ol bisnes long saed blong mane, olsem se sipos yutufala evriwan i save wok; ol pikinini; fasin blong blokem pikinini; ol tingting long saed blong responsabiliti blong yutufala long mared; mo ol mak blong yutufala naoia mo long fiuja mo olsem wanem bambae yutufala i kasem ol mak ya. Plante yangfala Witnes blong Jeova oli kam fultaem minista afta we oli finisim skul mo oli wantem gohed blong mekem wok blong God long rod ya afta we oli mared. Naoia i taem blong yutufala i mekem ol mak blong yutufala long saed blong spirit oli laenap. Naoia i taem tu blong talemaot ol samting, maet laef blong yutufala bifo, we maet i save gat paoa long mared. Maet yu gat ol kaon no ol samting we yu mas mekem. Maet ol sik, hemia ol bigfala sik, mo tokbaot ol samting we maet oli save kamaot from.

Long storian olsem, folem eksampol blong Elihu, we hem i talem se: “Mi mi talem samting we i stap long hat blong mi mo mi tok tru.” (Job 33:3, The Holy Bible in the Language of Today, we William Beck i raetem) Taem Esther i eksplenem olsem wanem hem i savegud fren blong hem mekem se hem i gat wan gudfala mared, hem i talem se: “Mi neva traem blong talem se mi mi agri wetem Jaye taem mi mi harem se samting ya i no stret. Mi stap mekem yet. Oltaem mi traem blong talem samting we i kamaot stret long hat blong mi.”

Yu no mas haedem sam samting we yutufala i no agri long hem no mekem giaman stori from yu fraet blong spolem filing blong fren blong yu. Beth i mekem mastik ya long laef blong hem taem hem i stap fren wetem John. Beth i talem se hem i wantem putum mane i stap blong fiuja mo hem i no wantem westem mane. John i talem se hem i agri. Nao Beth i no gohed moa blong tokbaot samting ya, hem i ting se tufala i toktok long saed blong mane finis. Be i kamaot se tingting blong John blong putum mane long fiuja i blong pem wan niufala trak blong resis. Afta long mared fasin blong no agri long saed blong spenem mane i kam wan trabol long tufala.

Ol trabol olsem yumi save blokem. Louise we yumi tokbaot hem finis, i tingtingbak long fasin blong hem blong savegud fren blong hem, se: “Sipos mi bin askem plante moa kwestin, olsem, ‘?Olsem wanem sipos mi gat bel mo yu yu no wantem gat wan pikinini, bambae yu mekem wanem?’ No, ‘?Sipos yumi gat kaon mo mi wantem stap long haos mo lukaot long ol pikinini, olsem wanem bambae yu winim samting ya?’ Sipos mi bin mekem olsemia bambae mi save luklukgud filing blong hem.” Ol storian olsem oli save mekem ol samting we oli stap long hat oli kamaot blong luk bifo we yutufala i mared.

!Lukluk Fasin Blong Hem!

Esther i eksplenem se, “Wan man i save mekem i gud long yu taem yutufala nomo i stap. Be taem ol narafala man oli stap tu, oltaem oli no save wanem bambae oli mekem. Wan long ol fren blong yu maet i talem ol samting we boefren no gelfren blong yu i no laekem. Nao yu save luk hem taem hem i kros. ?Bambae hem i kros long man ya no bambae hem i tok strong long hem?” Esther i finisim tok blong hem olsem: “Taem yumi stap wetem ol fren mo ol famle, samting ya i givhan bigwan blong savegud yumi.”

Antap moa long fasin blong spel mo pleplei, spenem taem blong wok wanples. Joen long Kristin wok, olsem stadi long Tok blong God mo long Kristin minista wok. Mo tu, joen blong mekem ol wok long haos we afta mared samting ya bambae i kam haf blong laef blong yu—pem ol kakae, mekemrere kakae, wasem ol plet, mo klinim haos. Taem yutufala i joen long ol samting ya—nao taem boefren no gelfren blong yu i no luk naes nating—bambae yu save luklukgud ol fasin blong hem.

Man blong lukaot long sipsip we i stap long Sing Blong Solomon i luk gel ya we hem i laekem taem i kros mo taem hem i stap wok long big san—i swet mo i taed. (Sing Blong Solomon 1:5, 6; 2:15) Mo tu taem hem i lukluk we gel ya i stap tru long hem, i no lesin long ol tok swit blong King Solomon we i rij, man ya blong lukaot sipsip i talem se: “Yu yu naes olgeta, O gelfren blong mi, mo i no gat wan samting we i nogud long saed blong yu.” (Sing Blong Solomon 4:7, NW) I tru, i no min se gel ya i stretgud olgeta, be gel ya i no gat slak fasin. Lukluk blong hem i naes moa from stret fasin blong hem i winim ol slak fasin blong hem.—Skelem wetem Job 31:7.

Blong faenemaot samting olsem, hem i tekem taem. Taswe yu no mas kwik blong fren wetem narafala. (Ol Proveb 21:5) Oltaem wan man mo wan woman bambae tufala i mekem plante samting blong pulum lav blong narafala. Be sipos tufala i tekem taem, ol nogud fasin mo ol slak fasin bambae oli kam klia moa. Wan man mo wan woman we tufala i tekem taem mo tu tufala i yusumgud fasin fren blong tufala bambae tufala i faenemaot se i isi blong jenisim fasin blong laef afta we tufala i mared. Wetem save we tufala i kasem, tufala i save mared wetem strong tingting blong winim ol rao we bambae oli kamaot. Fasin blong savegud man no woman we bambae i mared wetem bambae i givhan long tufala blong tufala i save gat gudfala hapi mared.

[Ol Futnot]

Ol Kwestin Blong Tokbaot

◻ ?Wanem impoten mak blong fren blong savegud man no woman we bambae yu mared wetem, mo olsem wanem samting ya i impoten long hapi mared?

◻ ?Wanem samting bambae i givhan long yu blong save man we i stap haed insaed long hat blong narafala man?

◻ ?Wanem kaen storian i save givhan blong savegud man no woman we bambae yu mared wetem?

◻ ?From wanem i gud blong spenem taem long ol defren samting?

◻ ?Wanem sam samting we oli soemaot se fasin fren i no save stap longtaem?

◻ ?Wetaem blong finisim fasin fren?

[Tok blong makem poen long pej 253]

Lukluk narafala insaed long wan grup i save givhan long yu blong savegud narafala be yu no gat tumas filing long hem

[Bokis blong pija long pej 256, 257]

?I Gud Mi Lego Hem?

Taem lav i kam kasem mak blong mekem disisen blong mared, oltaem i gat ol samting we oli kamaot we i mekem man no woman i gat tu tingting. ?Olsem wanem sipos tingting olsem oli kamaot from ol nogud slak fasin blong man no woman we yu stap goaot wetem no oli kamaot from we yutufala i no frengud?

Eksampol, i tru se samtaem olgeta we oli stap laeklaekem olgeta oli no save agri long sam samting. (Skelem wetem Jenesis 30:2; Ol Wok 15:39.) Be sipos yutufala i no stap agri long evri samting, sipos evritaem yutufala i storian yutufala i stap mekem storian i kam bigfala rao, no sipos oltaem yutufala i stap lego yutufala biaen yutufala i fren bakegen, !lukaotgud! Oli askem 400 dokta mo oli soem se fasin blong rao oltaem i wan bigfala saen blong “filing we i no rere long mared yet.” Maet hem i soem tu “tufala i no save winim faet ya bitwin long tufala.”

Narafala samting we i save mekem yu yu wari se maet yu faenemaot ol nogud slak fasin blong man no woman ya we bambae yu mared wetem. Fasin blong kros kwik no fasin blong tingbaot hem wan nomo, fasin we i soemaot se hem i no bigman yet long tingting blong hem mo taem ol fasin blong hem oli jenis oltaem olsem samtaem hem i kros samtaem hem i glad, fasin stronghed, maet ol fasin olsem oli save mekem yu yu tingting sipos yu wantem spenem ful laef blong yu wetem wan man no woman olsem. Be plante man oli no luksave, no oli traem talem se ol slak fasin ya oli oraet nomo mo oli traehad long evri rod blong mekem fren i gohed. ?From wanem i olsem?

From ol trufala Kristin oli tinghae long fasin ya blong fren blong savegud man no woman we bambae oli mared wetem—i mas olsemia nao—sam oli harem se oli mas mared long man no woman we oli stap goaot wetem. Maet sam oli fraet blong agensem tingting blong narafala mo mekem narafala i harem nogud. Sam oli fraet se bambae oli no save faenem narafala man no woman blong mared wetem. Be, hemia oli no gudfala risen blong fren longtaem blong savegud man no woman blong mared wetem, sipos i gat trabol i stap.

Risen blong fren blong savegud man no woman i blong faenemaot sipos tufala i save mared. Sipos wan Kristin i stat blong frengud wetem narafala blong savegud hem wetem gudfala tingting, i no nid blong hem i gohed blong mekem fren olsem sipos hem i faenem sam samting we oli no stret. Mo tu, ating i no stret mo hem i fasin blong man i tingbaot hem nomo sipos hem i gohed longtaem blong fren olsem from we hem i ting se, ‘maet mi no save faenem narafala.’ (Skelem wetem Filipae 2:4.) Taswe i impoten blong yutufala i tokbaot—be yutufala i no haedem—ol trabol blong yutufala. Stat wetem fasin blong skelemgud man no woman we yu stap goaot wetem hem.

?Eksampol, i gat pruf se woman ya bambae i kam wan waef we i stap ona long man blong hem, i gat gudhan long ol wok blong hem? (Ol Proveb 31:10-31) ?I gat pruf se man ya bambae i kam wan hasban we i tingbaot narafala mo i naf blong givim ol samting we mi nidim? (Efesas 5:28, 29; 1 Timoti 5:8) ?Wan man i save talem se hem i holemstrong long God, be i gat ol wok we oli pruvum bilif ya we hem i talem?—Jemes 2:17, 18.

Yes, sipos yu tekem plante taem mo filing blong mekem fren, i nogud blong lego kwiktaem fren ya from we yu faenemaot se hem i no stretgud olgeta. (Jemes 3:2) Maet yu yu save laef wetem ol slak fasin blong hem.

?Olsem wanem sipos yu no save laef wetem? Tokbaot bisnes ya wetem hem. ?Yutufala i gat ol defren mak mo tingting long laef blong yutufala? ?Yutufala i no savegud yutufala? ?No hem i wan samting we yutufala wanwan i mas lanem blong “holem kros blong yu” mo winim ol samting ya long kwaet fasin nomo? (Ol Proveb 25:28) ?Sipos yu yu wari from we yu yu no laekem ol fasin blong hem, olsem wanem, hem i gat tingting daon mo i talemaot se hem i wantem traehad blong winim ol fasin ya? ?Yu ting se yu tu yu mas lan blong no wari long ol samting olsem? (Prija 7:9) “Tingting blong Yufala i longfala, mo yufala i mas lavlavem yufala,” hemia i wan impoten samting long wan gudfala mared.—Efesas 4:2.

I nogud blong spolem fasin fren blong yutufala, traem winim ol trabol ya, samting ya i save soem se fasin fren ya i save kam strong moa. Be sipos storian ya i mekem narafala trabol i kamaot, yu no mas foget se hemia ol saen blong bigfala trabol biaen. (Ol Proveb 22:3) Ol samting bambae oli no kamgud moa afta long mared. Maet i gud yutufala i lego fasin fren ya.

[Tok blong pija long pej 254]

Fasin blong folem ol rul blong gudfala fasin i soem wan eksampol blong fasin respek we i save stap long mared tu

[Tok blong pija long pej 255]

“Mared i save stap longtaem mo ol man oli save haremgud long hem sipos oli savegud hat blong olgeta wanwan.”—Journal of Marriage and the Family

[Tok blong pija long pej 259]

Taem i kam klia se fasin fren i no save kamaot gud, gudfala samting blong mekem i blong tokbaot wetem narafala, eksplenem from wanem yutufala i mas finisim fasin fren ya