Sɔhɛwo Biana Be . . .

Nukatae Mesena le Ðokuinye me be Ele Be Nye Nuwɔna Ðesiaɖe Nade Blibo?

“Esi fofonye nye nufiala ta la, amesiame kpɔa mɔ be maxɔ dzesi kɔkɔtɔ kekeake le sukudɔ ɖesiaɖe me. Ɣeaɖewoɣi la mefaa avi kakaka yia alɔ̃ me.”​—Leah.a

“Amesi dina be yeƒe nuwɔna ɖesiaɖe nade bliboe menye. Ele be mawɔ nu wòanyo wu alo wòato vovo sasasã tso amesiame tɔ gbɔ ema manɔmee la ekema susu aɖeke meli si tae wòle be mawɔ nua ɖo o.”​—Caleb.

ÐE NÈSENƐ le ɖokuiwò me be ele be yeƒe nuwɔna ɖesiaɖe nade blibo ɣesiaɣia? Ðe nètsia dzi ɣesiaɣi be aleke kee yeadze agbagba o, yeƒe nuwɔnawo medzea ye ŋu oa? Ðe mète ŋu lɔ̃na ɖe ɖeklemiɖenya aɖeke dzi oa? Ne nuwo meva sɔ tututu o la, ɖe nèbua fɔ ɖokuiwò eye nèbua ɖokuiwò bometsila, amesi mele ɖeke me o, alo be yemedze oa? Ne èdi be woawɔ nane wòanyo la, ɖe nèsenɛ le ɖokuiwò me be ele be ye ŋutɔ yeawɔea? Ðe nèvɔ̃na na kpododonu ɣeaɖewoɣi ale gbegbe be nèhea nanewo wɔwɔ ɖe megbe alo dzudzɔa ewɔwɔ kuraa?

Ke wò kpakple ame bubuwo dome kadodo ya ɖe? Ðe xɔlɔ̃wo menɔa asiwò esi amesiwo ƒo xlã wò mewɔa nu wòdea blibo keŋkeŋ o taa? Ðe nèdoa dziku vevie ɖe ame bubuwo ƒe kpododonuwo ŋua? Ne èɖo biabia siawo dometɔ aɖe ŋu be ẽ la, ekema ànya nɔ avu wɔm kple nusi woyɔna be blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ. Eye ne nenemae la, ekema menye wò ɖekae sena le ɖokuiwò me alea o. Nɔnɔme sia bɔ ɖe sɔhɛwo dome—vevietɔ sɔhɛ tagbɔkɔkɔetɔ alo esiwo nu dze edzi na.b

Nukae hea blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ vɛ? Eŋuti nukpɔsusu koe le numekulawo si. Agbalẽ si nye Perfectionism​—What’s Bad About Being Too Good? gblɔ be: “Blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ menye dɔléle o; menye ɖe nèxɔe o. Womenyia blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ ƒe dome o; womedzi wò kplii o. Ke nukatae nèva zu amesi dina be yeawɔ nusianu wòade blibo? Eŋunyala bibi aɖewo xɔe se be wotua blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ ɖo tso ɖevime. Nyaƒoɖeamenu siwo tsoa ƒomea me, ame ŋutɔ gbɔ, hadome, nyadzɔdzɔgblɔmɔnuwo, kple ame ŋkuta siwo ƒe nuwɔnawo gbɔ eme katãe ƒona ƒu ƒonɛ ɖe ame aɖewo nu be wotsia dzi, wobua fɔ wo ɖokui, eye wowɔa dɔ sesĩe ɣesiaɣi le woƒe agbe me.”

Nuka kee gbɔe wòɖatso o, didi be woawɔ nu wòade blibo ɣesiaɣi ate ŋu agblẽ nu le ŋuwò le agbe me. Mina míalé ŋku ɖe blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ ŋu nyuie ne míakpɔ nusita wòate ŋu agblẽ nu le ŋuwò.

Nukae Nye Blibodede Didi tso Amewo Gbɔ?

Blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ de ŋgɔ wu agbagbadzedze be woawɔ nu wòanyo alo dzidzɔkpɔkpɔ ɖe nane si ame te ŋu wɔ nyuie ŋu ko. Elabena Biblia kafu ŋutsu si “zã le eƒe dɔwɔwɔ me” le Lododowo 22:29. Biblia hã kafu ame vovovo aɖewo siwo bi nyuie ɖe aɖaŋu vovovowo wɔwɔ me. (Samuel I, 16:18; Fiawo I, 7:13, 14) Eyata enyo be ame nadi be yeabi ɖe nane wɔwɔ me nyuie, eye wòaɖo taɖodzinu kɔkɔ siwo gbɔ anya ɖo na eɖokui. Esia ate ŋu ana ame ƒe “luʋɔ naɖu agbe akpe ɖe eƒe agbagbadzedzewo ŋu.”—Nyagblɔla 2:24.

Gake amesi dina be yeƒe nuwɔna ɖesiaɖe nade blibo ƒe taɖodzinu gbɔa dzidzeme ma tɔgbe ŋu. Nukpɔsusu si nɔa esi ɖe dzidzedzekpɔkpɔ ŋu mesɔ kura o. Eŋunyala aɖewo gblɔe be, blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ fia “taɖodzinu siwo gbɔ manya ɖo o (si nye blibodede), kple ŋudzedzemakpɔmakpɔ ɖe ame ŋutɔ ƒe agbagbadzedze ŋu ɣesiaɣi, aleke kee woɖawɔ nua wònyo o.” Esia ta blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ hea “nuteɖeamedzi vanɛ ɣesiaɣi, si nana amea sena kpododonu ƒe seselelãme le eɖokui me ɣesiaɣi.” Eyata agbalẽ aɖe ɖe didi be woawɔ nu wòade blibo ɣesiaɣi gɔme be enye “dzixɔse masɔmasɔ be ele be ame ŋutɔ alo amesiwo ƒo xlã ame ƒe nuwɔna nade blibo ɣesiaɣi.” Enye “nɔnɔme si xɔa aƒe ɖe ame me vevie be ele be woawɔ nusianu si gɔme yedze pɛpɛpɛ vodada aɖeke manɔmee, alo wòasɔ tututu.”

Gake ɖe Yesu megblɔ be: “Miawo hã mizu blibo, sigbe alesi mia Fofo, si le dziƒo la, le blibo ene” oa? (Mateo 5:48) Ẽ, gake menye ɖe Yesu nɔ gbɔgblɔm be ame ate ŋu awɔ nu wòade blibo keŋkeŋ o. Le nyateƒe me, Biblia gblɔ be “[amewo] katã wɔ nuvɔ̃, eye Mawu ƒe ŋutikɔkɔe hiã wo tim.” (Romatɔwo 3:23) Ekema gɔmesese kae le nya siwo Yesu gblɔ ŋu? Le Biblia me la, nya “blibodede” fia sɔsɔ keŋkeŋ. (Mateo 19:21) Esime Yesu nɔ nu ƒom tso blibodede ŋu la, lɔlɔ̃ ŋue wònɔ nu ƒom le eye wònɔ dzi dem ƒo na eyomedzelawo be woaɖe lɔlɔ̃ geɖe afia. Aleke woate ŋu awɔ esiae? To alesi woakeke woƒe lɔlɔ̃ ɖe nu wòaɖo woƒe futɔwo gɔ̃ hã gbɔ dzi. Biblia ŋlɔla Luka ŋlɔ Yesu ƒe nya siawo ɖi be: “Mizu nublanuikpɔlawo, abe alesi mia Fofo hã nye nublanuikpɔla ene.”—Luka 6:36.

Ke hã amesiwo dina blibodede tso amewo gbɔ nɔa wo ɖokui flum hesusuna be ele bɔbɔe be woaɖo blibodede gbɔ keŋkeŋ. Eyata woate ŋu anɔ nu geɖe akpa dim tso ame bubuwo gbɔ. Agbalẽ si nye Never Good Enough—Freeing Yourself From the Chains of Perfectionism gblɔ be, amesiwo dia blibodede tso amewo gbɔ nyea “amesiwo mekpɔa ŋudzedze aɖeke ɖe alesi amewo wɔa woƒe dɔwo ŋui o . . . Le woƒe nukpɔsusu nu la amesiwo ƒo xlã wo metsɔa ɖeke le dɔ nyui wɔwɔ me o, alo womekpɔa dzidzɔ ɖe woƒe dɔwɔnawo ŋu o.”

Le kpɔɖeŋu me, Carly dzena agbagba le eƒe sukudɔwo wɔwɔ me, eye wòƒo eɖokui ɖe ɖoɖo aɖe si wowɔ na sukuvi tagbɔkɔkɔetɔwo me. Gake eya kple ame bubuwo dome meyina tututu o. Elabena esi wòdina be nusianu nade blibo ta la, xɔlɔ̃ geɖewo megadea ha kplii o. Egblɔ be, “mebui be womede blibo kura o.”

Wo dometɔ bubuwo media blibodede tso ame bubuwo gbɔ o, ke tso woa ŋutɔwo ɖokui gbɔ. Agbalẽ si nye Never Good Enough gblɔ be ame mawo tɔgbe sena le wo ɖokui me be “woa ŋutɔwo alo woƒe nuwɔnawo menyo o . . . , eye [wotsia] dzi vevie ɖe nusi ame bubuwo buna le wo ŋu la ŋu.”

Kuxi Siwo Le Didi be Ame ƒe Nuwɔna Ðesiaɖe Nade Blibo Me

Le esi blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ nanye nusi dea ame dzi alo viɖenu teƒe la, enyea nusi gblẽa nu le ame ŋu boŋ zi geɖe. Eye zi geɖe la, le esi wòanye nusi ade dɔ nyuiwɔwɔ ƒe dzi ƒo teƒe la, ɖeko nukpɔsusu ma nana wodoa kpo nu boŋ. Ŋutsu Kristotɔ aɖe si ŋkɔe nye Daniel gblɔ be yeɖo ŋku edzi be yetsɔ ɣeyiɣi geɖe nɔ kutri kum nɔ nuƒo ƒe dɔdasi aɖe si wonae be wòava wɔ le Yehowa Ðasefowo ƒe Fiaɖuƒe Akpata me la dzram ɖo. Nyaselawo dometɔ geɖe kafui ɖe alesi wòwɔ dɔa nyuie ta. Emegbe Daniel xɔ aɖaŋuɖoɖo si dɔdasia dzikpɔla tsɔ ŋuɖɔɖɔɖo nae be wòakpe ɖe eŋu. Biblia la de dzi ƒo na mí be ‘míase aɖaŋuɖoɖo, eye míaxɔ amehehe.’ (Lododowo 19:20) Gake le esi Daniel naxɔ aɖaŋuɖoɖo si atui ɖo teƒe la, esee le eɖokui me be yedo kpo nu. Egblɔ be: “Medi be maɖe ɖokuinye ɖe aga.” Etsi zãdomadɔlɔ̃e hena kwasiɖa geɖe.

Eyata blibodede didi ate ŋu agblẽ nu le nusɔsrɔ̃ ƒe ŋutete ŋu. Nyɔnuvi aɖe si ŋkɔe nye Rachel ŋlɔ le nyatakaka aɖe si woŋlɔna na sɔhɛwo koŋ si dzena le kɔmpiuta dzi Nyatakakadiƒe me be: “Esi medze sekɛndrisuku gɔme la meɖoe kplikpaa be mawɔ dɔ nyuie. Mexɔa dzesi kɔkɔtɔ kekeake ɣesiaɣi eye nyemekpɔ nusita wòle be esia natrɔ o.” Gake eteƒe medidi o, Rachel va kpɔe be ŋɔŋlɔdzesiwo kple xexlẽdzesiwo ƒe akɔntabubu (algebra) va zu kuxi na ye eye dzesi siwo ɖiɖi vie wu kɔkɔtɔwo kekeake koe wòva xɔ azɔ. Rachel gblɔ be: “Dzesi sia nyo le amesiame gome, gake le gonyeme la . . . enye ŋukpenya. Meɖia vo le ɖokuinye me eye metsia dzi . . . Menɔ vɔvɔ̃m be maxɔ kpekpeɖeŋu tso nye nufiala gbɔ elabena mebui be ne melɔ̃ ɖe edzi be mehiã kpekpeɖeŋu be mate ŋu awɔ sukudɔ siwo wode asi nam be mawɔ le aƒeme atsɔ ava sukui la afia be nyemese nua gɔme o . . . . Ɣeaɖewoɣi la ɖeko megblɔna na ɖokuinye be ne meku la anyo wu be manɔ kpo dom nu.”

Vɔvɔ̃ be yewodo kpo nu kpɔ ŋusẽ ɖe sɔhɛ aɖewo dzi eye wodi gɔ̃ hã be woawu wo ɖokui. Dzidzɔtɔe la sɔhɛ akpa gãtɔ medea ŋugble le afɔ gbegblẽ ma tɔgbe ɖeɖe ŋu o. Gake susuŋutinunyala Sylvia Rimm gblɔ be, wodzena agbagba be woaƒo asa na kpododo nu to alesi womedina be yewoatee akpɔ kura gɔ̃ hã o me. Rimm gblɔ be amesiwo dia blibodede tso amewo gbɔ dometɔ aɖewo “metsɔa woƒe dɔdasiwo nana o, womekpɔa dzidzɔ ɖe woƒe dɔwɔnawo ŋu o, woŋlɔa woƒe sukudɔdasiwo be, wodoa taflatse geɖe.”

To vovo na ema la, sɔhɛ bubuwo wɔa nusi gbɔa eme hedea dzi ƒo na wo ɖokuiwo be yewoakpɔ dzidzedze. Daniel lɔ̃ ɖe edzi be: “Menɔa ŋu zã blibo la katã nɔa sukudɔdasiwo wɔm be mate ŋu akpɔ ye katã wòade pɛpɛpɛ.” Kuxia enye be nuwɔwɔ wòagbɔ eme alea menana wowɔa dɔ nyui ɣesiaɣi o. Zi geɖe la, sɔhɛ siwo alɔ̃ mesuna o ye mete ŋu wɔa dɔ nyuie o.

Ekema mewɔ nuku o be wokpɔe be blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ kplɔa ame dea dzikudodo, bubumademade ameɖokui ŋu, fɔbubu ameɖokui, mɔkpɔkpɔbuɖeame, numaɖumaɖu nyuie, kple blanuiléle siwo nɔa anyi ɣeyiɣi didi la me. Gake esi gavloe wu enye be blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ ate ŋu agblẽ nu le ame ƒe gbɔgbɔmemenyenye ŋu. Le kpɔɖeŋu me, Biblia de se na Kristotɔwo be woagblɔ woƒe dzixɔsewo na ame bubuwo. (Romatɔwo 10:10; Hebritɔwo 10:24, 25) Gake sɔhɛ aɖe si ŋkɔe nye Vivian melɔ̃na be yeaɖo nya ŋu le Kristotɔwo ƒe kpekpewo me o elabena enɔ vɔvɔ̃m be yemagblɔ nyawo wòasɔ pɛpɛpɛ o. Ðetugbi aɖe si ŋkɔe nye Leah hã gblɔ nya ma tɔgbe. Egblɔ be: “Ne nyemegblɔ nyaa wòsɔ o la amewo aƒo nya ta gbegblẽ le ŋunye. Eyata mezia kpi ɖe nye nyawo dzi.”

Eyata eme kɔ ƒã be didi be woawɔ nu wòade blibo ɣesiaɣi gblẽa nu le ame ŋu eye medea ame dzi o. Eye ne èkpɔe be nɔnɔme siwo ŋu míeƒo nu le le nyati sia me dometɔ aɖe le asiwò la, ekema àkpɔe be ahiã be nàwɔ tɔtrɔ aɖewo le alesi nèbua tamee ŋu. Nyati aɖe gbɔna si aƒo nu tso alesi nàwɔ esiae ŋu.

[Etenuŋɔŋlɔ]

[Nɔnɔmetata si le axa 28]

Vɔvɔ̃ na kpododonu nana sɔhɛ aɖewo melɔ̃na be yewoawu dɔdasiwo nu o

[Nɔnɔmetata si le axa 29]

Blibodede didi tso amewo gbɔ ate ŋu ahe blanuiléle kple bubumademade ameɖokui ŋu vɛ