Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Ndimotani Mmene Ndingawongolere pa Kupanga Kukambitsirana?

SHARON wachichepere ali wamantha ndi wamanyazi mwachibadwa. Iye anavomereza pamene anafunsidwa ndi Galamukani!: “Pamene ndadziŵitsidwa kwa winawake, sindimadziŵa chomwe ndiyenera kunena. Sindimafuna kunena chinthu cholakwika ndipo mwinamwake kukwiyitsa munthuyo.” Kwa achichepere amanyazi, monga Sharon, chimatenga kuyesayesa kwenikweni kuti apange kukambitsirana.

Kwa ena, kusiyana kwa mitundu ya anthu kungakhale chopinga cha kukambitsirana. Lingalirani nkhani ya Lucas, wachichepere wakuda wa ku South Africa, amene anakhala mbali ya bungwe lokhala ndi anthu a mitundu yosiyanasiyana limene limafalitsa magazini iyi m’zinenero za kumaloko za dzikolo. “Chiri kwenikweni chodabwitsa cha mwambo,” iye analongosola tero, “kwa munthu wakuda kubwera kudzakhala pagome ndi kudya chakudya ndi anthu oyera. Kubwera kuno ndi kukhala limodzi ndi anthu oyera kunandipangitsa ine kukhala wosamasuka chifukwa chakuti tinali ndi ziyambi za kumbuyo zosiyanasiyana. Ndinakaikira ngati chomwe ndikanena chikakhala cholandirika. Chimatenga nthaŵi kugonjetsa kudzimva koteroko.”

Ngakhale mkati mwa gulu la anthu a mtundu wofanana nthaŵi zina pamakhala zopinga m’kukambitsirana. Monga mmene munthu wa ku South Africa, wotchedwa Pieter, akukumbukira kuti: “Ndinakulira pa farmu ndipo kenaka banja lathu linasamukira ku tauni. Ndikhoza kulankhula ponena za moyo wa ku farmu koma moyo wa ku tauni unali wosiyana kwambiri. Ndinadzipeza inemwini ndikumvetsera mwamantha ku kukambitsirana kwa mabwenzi anga, ndipo ndinangokhala chete.”

Ngati inu muli ndi vuto lofanana ndi limodzi la omwe ali pamwambawo, nchiyani chomwe mungachite ponena za icho?

Kugonjetsa Manyazi

Kodi mumadzimva wolakidwa pamene muli mu gulu la ena? Limbani mtima, ichi chiri chizindikiro chofala cha kukula. Zaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19 ziri nthaŵi ya kugalamuka kwaumwini—pamene achichepere amakhala ozindikira kwenikweni za chimene ena amalingalira ponena za iwo. Kaŵirikaŵiri iwo amapeŵa kukhala chandamali choperekako chisamaliro ndipo amanena zochepera kumene kuli kothekera.

“Manyazi,” akulongosola tero Dr. Tony Lake m’bukhu lake lakuti Loneliness, “ali mtundu wachitetezo. Munthu wamanyazi amapulumutsidwa ku kupanga zophophonya chifukwa chakuti manyazi amaletsa munthu woteroyo kukhala pa ngozi ya kuwoneka kapena kumveka wopusa.” Kokha lingaliro la kudziloŵetsa m’kukambitsirana lingapangitse anthu amanyazi kuchita thukuta! Iwo sangathe kokha kumangirira kulimba mtima kokwanira kuti alankhule. Kapena, ngati angachite tero, mawu amatuluka osokonezeka. Omvetsera angayang’ane modabwa kapena ngakhale kuseka. Ngati chimenechi chichitika kwa inu, kodi nchiyani chomwe muyenera kuchita?

“Yankho,” akulongosola tero Dr. Lake, “liri kudzipatsa ife eni nthaŵi, ndipo osati kupanga kuphophonya kwa kuganiza kuti pali chinachake cholakwika kwakukulukulu ndi ife. Tiyenera kusumika maganizo pa kumvetsera kufikira tidzimva kukhala okonzekera kulankhula pa utali uliwonse.” (Yerekezani ndi Yakobo 1:19.) Kafikiridwe kabwino kameneka kathandiza ambiri, monga Irene wamanyazi. “Ndimamvetsera mosamalitsa ku kukambitsirana kwa anthu ena,” iye akulongosola tero, “kuphunzira kuchokera kwa iwo. Kenaka ndimafufuza ndi kuphunzira kuti ndipeze chidziŵitso chowonjezereka. Ngati nkhaniyo ibweranso, ndimakhala wokhoza kulankhula ponena za iyo.”

Bwanji Ngati Inu Mwamvedwa Molakwika?

Nthaŵi zina kuyesayesa kwanu kowona mtima kwa kupanga kukambitsirana kungabweretse zotulukapo zoipa; chimene inu munena chitengedwa m’njira yolakwika. Kachiŵirinso, musatenge zochitika zoterozo mosamalitsa kwambiri kotero kuti zikupangitseni inu kubwerera m’chikamba chanu. “Usakangaze mu mtima mwako kukwiya; pakuti mkwiyo ugona m’chifuwa cha zitsiru,” ikutero Mlaliki 7:9.

Baibulo limanena za Davide wachichepere amene kalelo moipa anamvedwa molakwika. Atate wake anamtuma iye ndi mphatso kwa abale ake aakulu omwe anali kutumikira m’gulu lankhondo la Chiisrayeli. Pa kufika, Davide anadabwa kumva kutonza kwa chimphona cha Chifilisti, Goliati. “Mfilisti uyu wosadulidwa ndiye yani, kuti azinyoza makamu a Mulungu wamoyo?” iye anafunsa asilikaliwo. Mmodzi wa abale a Davide, Eliabu, anamva chimenechi ndi kukwiya. Akumaweruza molakwa cholinga cha kubwera kwa mbale wake wachichepere, iye anati: “Ine ndidziŵa kudzikuza kwako ndi kuipa kwa mtima wako; pakuti watsika kuti udzawone nkhondoyi.”—1 Samueli 17:26-28.

Mwinamwake inu mofananamo mwakhala mukumvedwa molakwika ndi ena. Ngati ndi tero, musachilole icho kukukhumudwitsani inu. Pamene cholinga chabwino cha Davide chinavumbulidwa mwamsanga kukhala tero, momwemonso, zoyesayesa zanu zowona mtima pa kupanga kukambitsirana kwabwino m’kupita kwa nthaŵi zidzafupidwa. “Ntchito zokoma,” Baibulo limatitsimikizira ife, “zimawonekera.” (1 Timoteo 5:24, 25) Chotero, ingopitirizani kuyesayesa.

Chifuno cha Chisomo

Ndimotani, ngakhale ndi tero, mmene inu mungayambire? “Mtundu wa kukambitsirana kobala zipatso koposa,” akulongosola tero Larry L. Barker m’bukhu lake lakuti Communication, “uli kuchitirana ndi chisomo. Chisomo chimatanthauza kumvetsetsa kwakuya kwa anthu ena, kudzizindikiritsa ndi malingaliro awo, kumva kupweteka kwawo, kugawana chisangalalo chawo.” Chitsanzo chodziŵika bwino kwambiri m’kusonyeza mkhalidwe umenewu chiri Yesu Kristu. Nthaŵi ina iye anayamba kukambitsirana ndi aŵiri a ophunzira ake amene anali kulira pa imfa yake. Akumabisa chizindikiritso chake chowona, Yesu wowukitsidwayo anafunsa kuti: “Mawu awa ndi otani mulandizanawo poyendayenda?”—Luka 24:17.

Aŵiriwo anasonyeza kudabwa kuti “mlendo” ameneyu sanamve za zochitika zomvetsa mantha zomwe zinangochitika kumene m’Yerusalemu. “Zinthu zanji?” Yesu anafunsanso. Kukambitsirana kwaumoyo kunatsatira ndipo pambuyo pake mmodzi wa ophunzirawo anachitira ndemanga kuti: “Mtima wathu sunali wotentha mkati mwathu nanga mmene analankhula nafe m’njira, mmene anatitsegulira Malemba?” (Luka 24:13-32) Inde, Yesu anasangalala ndi kukambitsirana kwambiri kwabwino chifukwa chakuti iye anamvetsera kwa ena ndi kusonyeza chisomo.—Yohane 4:7-26.

Kuyambitsa Kukambitsirana

Dziŵani kuti kukambitsirana kwapamwambako kunayambitsidwa mwa funso lopepuka. Mafunso ali zoyambitsa kukambitsirana zabwino koposa. Ndithudi, chiri chopepuka kuganizira funso pa nkhani yomwe iri ya chikondwerero chachikulu kwa inu, koma chimenechi nthaŵi zonse sichingatsogolere ku kukambitsirana kwaumoyo. Kumbukirani, Baibulo limatilimbikitsa ife “kukhala okondweretsedwanso mwa ena, ndiponso, ndi mu zimene iwo akuchita.” (Afilipi 2:4, The Living Bible) Chotero, chofunikira chiri kaamba ka inu kuganizira za funso limene woyanjana naye wanu adzasangalala kuyankha. Chimenecho chimatengera chisomo. Inu mungasankhe nkhani imene siiri yokondweretsa kwa inu, koma mungafupidwe bwino lomwe ndi yankho lochititsa kutenthedwa maganizo limodzinso ndi chidziŵitso chaphindu.

Mkonzi Les Donaldson akundandalitsa “njira zopepuka khumi zoyambitsira kukambitsirana.” Asanu ndi aŵiri a malingaliro ake akuloŵetsamo mafunso, kufunsa ponena za mkhalidwe wakumbuyo wa munthu, kufunsira kaamba ka chilangizo, kaamba ka thandizo, kaamba ka ganizo, kaamba ka kuyesa nkhani, kufunsa ponena za miyambo ya kumaloko kapena nyumba zodyeramo za kumaloko. Mosasamala kanthu za funsolo, ilo liyenera kufunsidwa ndi kuwona mtima. Inu muyeneranso kupereka chisamaliro ku mmene mumamvetserera. (Yerekezani ndi Luka 8:18.) Ngati mulola maganizo anu ndi maso kuyendayenda, mwinamwake woyankhayo adzakaikira kuti inu muli okondweretsedwa kwenikweni mu chimene ayenera kunena.

Malingaliro atatu ena a Donaldson a kuyambitsa kukambitsirana ali: kuchitira ndemanga pa chochitika cha kumaloko; kuchitira ndemanga chinachake chimene mupeza kukhala choyamikirika, chonga ngati malo; kapena kupereka chirikizo. “Ngati inu mufunafuna zinthu zochirikizapo anthu, mudzazipeza izo zochulukira,” mkonziyo akutero m’bukhu lake Conversational Magic. Koma iye akuwonjezera chenjezo iri: “Anthu amayang’ana kupitirira m’zichirikizo zosawona mtima ndipo iwo mwachiwonekere sakambitsirana kwa nthaŵi yaitali ndi munthu wosawona mtima.”

Mosasamala kanthu kuti ndi “mbedza” iti ya kukambitsirana imene musankha, kuyesayesa kowumirira nthaŵi zonse kumadzetsa zotulukapo. Lingalirani Sharon, wotchulidwa poyambirira penipeni. Iye tsopano ali wa zaka 22 zakubadwa ndipo wapanga kupita patsogolo kodziŵika bwino m’kugonjetsa manyazi ake. Chiyambire pamene anafunsidwa zaka ziŵiri zapitazo, iye wakhala mtumiki wa nthaŵi zonse wa Mboni za Yehova, kumathera maora oposa chikwi chimodzi pa chaka kuchezera anthu achilendo ndi kuyambitsa kukambitsirana kwa Baibulo. Ponena za Lucas ndi Pieter, iwo tsopano agwira ntchito limodzi zaka zambiri m’kupangidwa kwa mabukhu a Baibulo pa nthambi ya Watch Tower Society mu South Africa, ndipo mukachipeza icho kukhala chovuta kukhulupirira kuti iwo pa nthaŵi ina anali ndi vuto la kuyesa kupanga kukambitsirana.

Chotero ngati kaamba ka chifukwa china inu muchipeza kukhala chovuta kupanga kukambitsirana, musaleke; dzipatseni inumwini nthaŵi. Mvetserani kwa ena. Phunzirani ndi kuŵerenga kuti muyendere limodzi ndi nkhani za nthaŵiyo. Kukulitsa luso la kukambitsirana kudzalemeretsa moyo wanu ndi kuwonjezera ku chimwemwe cha ena.

[Chithunzi patsamba 13]

Pangani kuyesayesa kwadala kudziloŵetsa m’kukambitsirana