Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Chikondi Chiri Monga Mmene Chiriri m’Nyimbo Zachikondi?

NYIMBO zachikondi—nyimbo zimene zimakweza chikondi chowona, nyimbo zimene zimachitira chisoni chikondi chotayika—ziri zinthu zazikulu za mafunde a mphepo ya wailesi. Ndipo mosasamala kanthu za mtundu wake, ikhale rhythm ndi blues, soul, pop, kapena rock, izo ziri zotchuka mokulira pakati pa azaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19. Kodi nchiyani chomwe chimaŵerengera kaamba ka chimenechi?

Zambiri za nyimbozo mopepuka ziri ndi chikondwerero cha mphamvu cha nyimbo—kumveka kwa maimbidwe abwino, mawu a m’nyimbo ogwira mtima, maimbidwe ovinika. Izo zimakhudza maganizo ndipo zingapangitse chifupifupi malingaliro a za kukondana omwerekeretsa. “Ngati ine ndikulankhula pa lamya ndi mtsikana wanga ponena za mkhalidwe wina wovuta ndipo mawu sangotha kutuluka,” akutero wachichepere wotchedwa Rusty, “nyimbo yabwino yachikondi yomvekera pang’ono imandiika ine mu mkhalidwe wa maganizo wotonthoza, ndipo mawuwo amatuluka mosavuta.”

Ngakhale kuli tero, kutchuka kwa nyimbo zachikondi sikuli mokulira chifukwa cha ubwino uliwonse wa nyimbo womwe kuimba kungakhale nako. Pamene inu muli wa zaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19, mukuphunzira mmene mungachitire ndi zilakolako zanu za kugonana. Wofunitsitsa kudziŵa ponena za zinsinsi za chikondi ndi malingaliro a za kukondana, inu mosavuta mungazindikire ndi nyimbo zimene zimanena za zosangalatsa ndi zowawitsa za kupita kocheza ndi kulekana. Monga mmene wolemba wina akuchiikira icho, kupyolera m’nyimbo zachikondi, azaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19 “angalaŵe pang’ono za mmene chimamvekera kukhala m’chikondi, ndipo chotero kukumana ndi zina za zosangalatsa za chikondi ndi zogwiritsa mwala.”

Pokhala osazoloŵera m’njira zakukondana ndipo mwinamwake osatsimikizira za kuthekera kwawo kwa kulongosola kudzimva kwawo, ena amayang’ana ngakhale ku nyimbo zachikondi kupeza mawu oyenerera kunena kwa winawake wapadera ameneyo. Achichepere ena avomereza kuyesa kukopa ziŵalo zokhala ndi chogonanira chosiyana ndi mawu otukulidwa m’nyimbo zotchuka. Koma ndi ku utali wotani kumene nyimbo zachikondi zimaphunzitsa kwenikweni achichepere ponena za chikondi?

Maphunziro m’Nyimbo Zachikondi

Lingalirani, choyamba, imodzi ya nyimbo zachikondi zabwino koposa zomwe sizinalembedwepo chikhalire. Yotchedwa Nyimbo ya Solomo, iyo iri cholembedwa cha Baibulo cha mtsikana Wachisulami wokongola ndi chikondi chake kaamba ka mnyamata yemwe ndi mbusa. Chikondi chawo chikuwopsyezedwa ndi Mfumu Solomo, amene, ndi ulemerero wake wonyezimira, nzeru, ndi chuma, akuyesera kukoka mtima wa mkazi wachichepereyo—koma mosaphula kanthu. Chikondi chake chinatsimikizira kukhala osati cha mtundu wa chinyengo. Analengeza tero mtsikana wachichepereyo kuti: “Njira imangowuma ngati manda: Kung’anima kwake ndi kung’anima kwa moto, Ngati mphezi ya Yehova.”—Nyimbo ya Solomo 8:6.

Kodi nyimbo zachikondi zamakono mofananamo zimachirikiza kapenyedwe kokwezeka, komabe kenikeni, ka malingaliro a za kukondana? Mosiyana kwenikweni. Wolemba Sally Helgesen akuwona kuti nyimbo zachikondi “zimakondwerera dziko losonyeza maseŵera a anthu akusautsidwa ndi kudzimva ozunzidwa, m’limene chikondi” kaŵirikaŵiri chimapeza “chigamulo changwiro.” Mwatsoka, ‘zigamulo zangwiro’ ziri zoŵerengeka ndipo kutali kwambiri m’moyo wenikweni, ndipo yemwe afunafuna izo amaitana kukhumudwitsidwa. Nkulekeranji, popeza ngakhale malongosoledwe okwezeka andakatulo a Mfumu Solomo analephera kumugonjetsera chikondi cha mtsikana Wachisulami! Helgesen akuwonjezera kuti: “Nyimbozo zimadzutsa loto losatsimikizirika [lopanda pake] la moyo wachikulire mu umene kudzimva kwa malingliro a kukondana kumameza malingaliro ena alionse ndipo thayo silimalemetsa aliyense.” Kachiŵirinso, kuli kufuula kwapatali kuchokera ku moyo weniweni.

Sheila Davis, profesa wa mawu a m’nyimbo akumalemba pa Yunivesiti ya New York, akunena kuti nyimbo zachikondi mowonjezereka zimakakamiza anthu mwamachenjera kukhala ndi lingaliro lakuti kudzigwirizanitsa kuli “kwachikale.” Komabe cholamulira china chotchuka m’nyimbo zachikondi chiri chakuti chikondi chiri cha panthaŵi imeneyo. Nyimbo yotchuka ina inalengeza kuti chikondi chinabwera “mwadzidzidzi” pambuyo pa “moni woyamba” ndi “kumwetulira koyamba.” Nyimbo zachikondi chotero zimaphunzitsa kuti chikondi chiri chakhungu, chozindikira nyonga koma chokana kuwona ngakhale zifooko zapoyera.

Kodi maphunziro oterewa ali enieni chotani? Chabwino, lingalirani: Kodi kasonyezedwe koyambirira kangakhaledi maziko kaamba ka unansi wokhalitsa? Kutalitali. Dziŵani mmene Baibulo limalongosolera chikondi chowona: “Chikondi ncholeza mtima ndi chokoma mtima . . . Chikondi sichimaganizira choipa kapena chodzikonda kapena chokwiya msanga . . . Chikondi sichimatha konse; ndipo chikhulupiriro chake, chiyembekezo, ndi kuleza mtima sizimalephera konse. Chikondi nchamuyaya.”—1 Akorinto 13:4-8, Today’s English Version.

Chikondi chenicheni chotero sichiri chochitika cha panthaŵi yomweyo, kapena sichimaloŵetsamo kokha malingaliro ndi kudzimva. Chikondi chofikapo chiri ndi maso; icho chimawona nyonga koma sichimanyalanyaza zifooko. Chikondi chenicheni chimakulitsidwa mkati mwa nyengo ya nthaŵi pamene chidziŵitso chikupezedwa cha umunthu wa wina ndi mikhalidwe—“munthu wobisika wa mtima.” (1 Petro 3:4) Chikondi chowona sichimatha mphamvu pa kudziikako; chimakhalabe ndi unansi ndi kugwira ntchito kuchiwongolera icho ngakhale pamene zinthu siziri zokoma. Nchosiyana chotani nanga chikondi chenicheni kuchokera ku chikondi cholongosoledwa kaŵirikaŵiri m’nyimbo!

Mawu a m’Nyimbo Ovumbula

Nyimbo zachikondi zimakhotereranso pa kugwirizanitsa chikondi ndi kugonana—phunziro lophunzitsidwa masiku ano ndi kulimba mtima kodabwitsa. Zowona, nyimbo zachikondi ku zimene makolo kapena ngakhale agogo anu anavina pa nthaŵi zina zingakhale zinali ndi magwero amodzi kapena aŵiri olingalira mobisa. Koma zambiri za nyimbo za lerolino ziri kutali ndi kubisa. Sheila Davis, wogwidwa mawu poyambapo, akunena kuti: “Osati kokha kuti kuvumbula kwaloŵa m’malo kubisa, ndipo gawo la zakugonana kufutukulidwa kuphatikiza mpyotompyoto ndi kugonana [koipitsitsa], koma mawu a m’nyimbo aloŵereranso ngakhale chomwe pa nthaŵi ina chinali choletsedwa chamwambo cha kugonana kwa paubale.” Unyinji wa makampani opanga marekodi a mu U.S. tsopano avomereza kuika zizindikiro zochenjeza pa marekodi okhala ndi mawu ovumbula m’nyimbo ochita ndi kugonana kapena chiwawa.

Wa zaka zakubadwa khumi ndi zisanu ndi chimodzi Leslie akutsutsa kuti: “Mawu a m’nyimbo sali kanthu kwenikweni ngati inu mungavine ku iwo. Sindikuganizira kuti iwo adzanyenga aliyense. Iwo ali kokha nyimbo.” Akatswiri sakuvomereza. “Kukhala ndi nyimbo yotchuka yofananayo ikubwerezedwabwerezedwa nthaŵi zambiri tsiku lirilonse kumatheketsa kukumbukira kosavuta kwa mauthenga a zakugonana,” akuwona tero wofufuza wina. Kodi inu, monga momwe ena achitira, mwadzipeza inu mwini mukuimba mawu a m’nyimbo opalamula kapena a makhalidwe oipa kokha chifukwa chakuti mwakhala mukumva iwo mobwerezabwereza? (Aefeso 4:29) Dr. Joseph Stuessy, profesa wa nyimbo pa Yunivesiti ya Texas ku San Antonio, akuchenjeza kuti: “Mtundu uliwonse wa nyimbo umayambukira mkhalidwe wathu wa maganizo, malingaliro, mkhalidwe ndi kachitidwe kathu kotulukapo.”—Kanyenye ngwathu.

Kodi icho mothekera chikakhala chaumoyo kumvetsera kapena kuimba mawu omwe mosonyeza amalongosola kapena kuchirikiza chisembwere? Kodi kuchita tero sikudzaipitsa kapenyedwe kanu ka mbali yabwino ya kugonana m’chikwati?—1 Akorinto 7:3-5.

“Nthaŵi ya Kukonda”

Lingaliro lina lolakwika la ngozi lophunzitsidwa m’nyimbo zotchuka liri lakuti azaka za pakati pa 13 ndi 19 ali okonzekera kaamba ka kukondana ndi wa chiŵalo chogonanira chosiyana. Zowona, pali “nthaŵi ya kukonda”—koma pano Baibulo silikulozera ku chikondi cha chisembwere. Ponena za chikondi cha mu ukwati, kodi nthaŵi imeneyo kaamba ka inu iridi ino? Kodi siiri mwachiwonekere kwambiri zaka zingapo kuchokera tsopano, pamene inu mudzakhala wachikulire mokwanira? (Mlaliki 3:8) Ngati chomaliziracho chiri chowona, kodi icho chimapanga nzeru kudzutsa zikhumbo zamphamvu kaamba ka chinachake chomwe inu pakali pano simungakhale nacho?

Osakhala ndi popumira kaamba ka kudzimva kwawo kwa malingaliro a za kukondana oyambitsidwa, achichepere ena amagwidwa m’dziko la maloto a malingaliro a zakukondana. Ena amagwa “m’chikondi” ndi oimba awo okondeka, akuwona m’maganizo kuti liwu lirilonse labwino loimbidwa likungonong’onezedwa m’makutu mwawo. Iwo amasonkhanitsa alubamu iriyonse, chithunzithunzi, ndi zomamatiza za walusoyo zomwe manja awo angapeze ndi kulota za kukwatira ameneyo. Koma chotulukapo chokha mwachiwonekere kaamba ka unansi woganizidwa umenewo chiri kugwiritsidwa mwala ndi kuwawitsa.

Nyimbo ya Solomo chotero imaphunzitsabe phunziro lina lofunika kwambiri. Wokhumba kukhala wokhulupirika kwa m’nyamata wake mbusa, mtsikana Wachisulamiyo anasonkhezera mabwenzi ake achitsikana ‘kusautsa, ngakhale kuyambitsa chikondi mwa iye’ kaamba ka Mfumu Solomo, yemwe anafunafuna zikondano zake. (Nyimbo ya Solomo 2:7) Akumadziŵa mphamvu yake yothekera, mtsikanayo anangokana kumvetsera ku nkhani yomwe moipitsitsa ikayambukira maganizo ake. Njira imodzimodziyo ikatsimikizira kukhala ya nzeru kaamba ka inu m’chosankha chanu cha nyimbo. Bwanji osangopeŵa nyimbo zomwe zimadzutsa zilakolako za malingaliro amphamvu zakukondana mwa inu kapena zomwe zimakupangitsani kudzimva wachisoni ndi wosungulumwa?

Kumbukirani: Nyimbo ziri mphatso yochokera kwa Mulungu. Ndipo inu mungatsimikizire kuti iye sakukondweretsedwa ndi nyimbo zomwe zimatsitsa kapena kugwetsa makhalidwe abwino, zomwe zimaipitsa mapindu Achikristu kapena kulimbikitsa mikhalidwe yachiwerewere. Chotero achichepere Achikristu ayenera kukhala osankha m’chosankha chawo cha nyimbo. Scott wa zaka zakubadwa khumi ndi zisanu ndi zinayi akunena kuti: “Ndisanagule rekodi kapena kaseti, ndimasanthula chikuto ndi kutenga lingaliro la mawu am’nyimbo. Ngati izo ziri zopereka malingaliro, sindimaigula iyo.”

Chikondi sichiri kokha monga mmene chiriri m’nyimbo zachikondi. Mudzaphunzira nsonga imeneyi kupyolera m’zokumana nazo zowawitsa nthaŵi zina za moyo. Kumbukirani, kachiŵirinso, kuti nyimbo zabwino siziri choloŵa m’malo kaamba ka mabwenzi enieni. M’malo mwa kudzipatula inu eni m’dziko la maloto a nyimbo, therani nthaŵi ndi anthu—makolo anu, achichepere owopa Mulungu, ndi Akristu achikulire. (Miyambo 18:1) Kuyanjana koteroko kudzatulukapo m’kudzimva kwanu wokondedwa m’njira yaumulungu—kudzimva kumene kumapambana mwakuya maganizo azakukondana a nyimbo zachikondi.

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 19]

“Mtundu uliwonse wa nyimbo umayambukira mkhalidwe wathu wa maganizo, malingaliro, mkhalidwe ndi kachitidwe kathu kotulukapo”

[Chithunzi patsamba 17]

Kodi nyimbo zachikondi zonse zimasonyeza moyo weniweni?

[Chithunzi patsamba 18]

Khalani osankha ponena za chimene mumvetserako!