Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Cholakwika Nchiyani Ndi Kutukwana Kamodzikamodzi?

“Kutonza. Aliyense amakuchita iko. . . . Iko kungayambe pang’onopang’ono, kokha mawu oŵerengeka otengedwa kwa ana ‘abwino’ pa sukulu, koma mwamsanga amakula kukhala chinenero chathunthu, chikumakhala mowonjezereka chovuta kulamulira.”—Laura, msinkhu wa zaka 14.

KUTONZA. Kutukwana. Kunyoza. Achichepere awunikiridwa ku kusefukira kwenikweni kwa izo. U.S.News & World Report inadziŵitsa kuti: “Diso limodzinso ndi khutu zavulazidwa ndi kunyoza kolembedwa pa zomamatiza za pa galimoto, mabaji ndi masikipa.” Mawu otukwana amabweranso kwa ife kuchokera pa mawailesi ndipo nthaŵi zonse amaikidwa m’nkhani za magazini, ziwonetsero za TV, ndi makanema. Mawu otukwana amanenedwa mopanda manyazi ndi andale zadziko ndi otchuka—ngakhale ndi makolo ena ndi amsinkhu wofanana.

Mlembi Alfred Lubrano akunena kuti: “Mawu otonza akhala muyezo wa mpambo wa mawu kwa anthu ambiri mu ofesi, mu ma resitiranti, pa maseŵera a mpira.” M’chenicheni, kunyoza kwakhala kofala chotero m’chakuti ena amadzimva kuti iko kwataikiridwa mtengo wake wa kudabwitsa. Chotero inu mungadabwe ngati pali chivulazo chirichonse m’kutulutsa mawu oŵerengeka “otukwana” mwa kamodzikamodzi, makamaka pamene munthu ayang’anizana ndi mkhalidwe wokhumudwitsa.

Chifukwa Chimene Achichepere Amatonzera

Katswiri wa za maganizo Chaytor Mason akudzinenera kuti: “Kunyoza kuli mkhalidwe waukulu wa munthu. Mofanana ndi kukanda, iko kumamasula kukwinjika.” Ndipo mosangalatsa, pamene amtola nkhani a magazini ya Children’s Express anafunsa chiŵerengero cha achichepere funso lakuti, “Kodi nchifukwa ninji achichepere amatonza?” iwo anatenga mayankho onga ngati: “Ndimatonza chifukwa ndimakhala wosokonezeka.” “Ndimangokuchita iko pamene ndakwiyitsidwa.” “Kumandipangitsa kudzimva bwinopo, kuli chitonthozo.”

Chifukwa chakuti tikukhala m’nthaŵi zokwinjika mwachilendo, chilakolako chimenecho cha kumasula kukwinjika chingabwere kaŵirikaŵiri. Ndithudi, Thomas Cottle mphunzitsi wa phunziro la misala pa Harvard akuwona “kuvomereza” kwa kalankhulidwe konyoza kwa nthaŵi ino kukhala umboni wa “kusintha kwakukulu m’mwambo wa Chiamerika.” Cottle akunena kuti: “Anthu akupeza miyoyo yawo kukhala yopanda tanthauzo, yosakhutiritsa, ndipo ali okwiyitsidwa. Tikuwopsyezedwa ndi zinthu zimene ziri zenizeni ndipo tiri okwiyitsidwa ponena ndi zinthu zimene ziri zenizeni, kwambirimbiri. Chobisala kumbuyo kwa mkwiyo umenewu ndi ndewu.”

M’chenicheni, ngakhale ndi tero, masinthidwe amene Bambo Cottle akulozerako achitika kuzungulira dziko lonse. Mtumwi Paulo ananeneratu kuti anthu m’tsiku lathu akakhala “osayanjanitsika, akudyerekeza, osakhoza kudziletsa, aukali, osakonda abwino.” (2 Timoteo 3:1, 3) Nchosadabwitsa, kenaka, kuti m’kuyankha ku chididikizo chomakula, achichepere ambiri amakhala a ndewu mwamawu. Iwo “anola lirime lawo ngati lupanga” ndipo “napilingidza mivi yawo, ndiyo mawu akuwawitsa.”—Salmo 64:3.

Chitonthozo Chokhutiritsa?

Kodi ndi mokhutiritsa chotani, ngakhale ndi tero, mmene kutulutsa mawu onyoza kumamasuliradi kukwinjika? Wophunzira zinenero Reinhold Ahman akunena kuti kugwiritsira ntchito mawu otukwana kumathandiza “kutulutsa mkwiyo.” Iye akudzinenera kuti popanda chimasuko cha maganizo cha kutonza, anthu amakhala minkhole ku “zironda za m’mimba, kupweteka kwa mutu, kukha mwazi kwa m’matumbo.” Kumaliza kwake? “Liwu lotonza pa tsiku limathamangitsa dokotala.”

Mosakaikira, m’nthaŵi za kukwinjika kokulira, kutulutsa liwu lotonza kungawoneke kukhala kokuthandizani ‘kuchotsa ukali wina.’ Ngakhale kuli tero, Baibulo mwachindunji limatsutsa kuchita tero. Aefeso 4:29 amanena kuti: “Nkhani yonse yovunda isatuluke m’kamwa mwanu.” The New English Bible imatanthauzira vesi limeneli motere: “Palibe chinenero choipa chiyenera kupita pa milomo yanu, koma kokha chimene chiri chabwino ndi chothandiza pa chochitikacho.” Pali zifukwa zabwino kaamba ka chilangizo chimenechi.

Kaamba ka chinthu chimodzi, kutalitali ndi kukhala “chabwino ndi chothandiza ku chochitikacho,” kulankhula kwaukali nthaŵi zonse kumangokupangitsani kukwiyirako. Ndipo monga mmene mwambi ukuchiikira icho kuti: “Wokangaza kukwiya adzachita utsiru.” (Miyambo 14:17; 15:18) Chimenechi chimapangitsa mkhalidwe woipa kuipitsitsa, popeza kuti anthu kaŵirikaŵiri samayankha mwachiyanjo ku mawu aukali, opweteka. Miyambo 15:1 ikunena kuti: “Mayankhidwe ofatsa abweza mkwiyo; koma mawu owawitsa aputa msunamo.” Ndipo pamene wina wachipanga icho kukhala chizoloŵezi cha kubwebweta minyozo pa kukwiyitsidwa kochepera, mawu oipa ali ndi njira yotulukira pa nthaŵi yolakwika—kapena kwa munthu wolakwika, monga ngati mphunzitsi kapena kholo.

Chotero m’malo momasula kukwinjika mokhutiritsa, chinenero choipa chimangokulitsa kukwinjika kwa icho chokha. M’malo mothetsa mavuto anu, icho chimangochedwetsa kuyang’anizana nawo mwachindunji.

Kokomeza kapena Konyazitsa?

Sikutonza konse kumachitidwa mu mkwiyo. Bukhu lakuti Exploring Language likulongosola kuti: “Mawu oipa kaŵirikaŵiri amagwiritsiridwa ntchito ndi a msinkhu wa pakati pa 13 ndi 19 m’kuwuza nkhani zosayenera . . . Pamene matupi awo akukula ndi kusintha, ponse paŵiri anyamata ndi atsikana amadabwa ndi kuda nkhaŵa. Kuti asakhale ovutitsidwa ndi mantha amenewa, iwo amawatembenuzira iwo m’ziphwete kapena nkhani za mawu oipa.” Achichepere ena amadzimva kuti mawu onyoza amawonjezera kukoma ku nkhani yawo kapena amawapangitsa iwo kuwoneka okulirapo.

Mawu otchedwa oipa, ngakhale kuli tero, amakhoterera kulongosola kugwira ntchito kwa thupi kwachibadwa ndi zochitika za kugonana m’njira yonyozeka, yochititsa manyazi. Akumalozera ku mawu ena ogwiritsidwa ntchito mofala kulongosola kugonana, Barbara Lawrence, profesa wothandizira wa maphunziro a mkhalidwe wa anthu, akunena kuti “m’ziyambi zake ndi maphiphiritso mawu amenewa mosakanika ali ndi matanthauzo omvetsa chisoni, ndi opweteka.”

Chimenechi nchosemphana chotani nanga ndi njira yokwezeka, yolemekezeka imene Baibulo limalongosolera nkhani za kugonana! (Miyambo 5:15-23) Mawu otukwana amaphunzitsa kawonedwe konyenga, kotsika ka kugonana ndi ukwati. Mawu oipa ali ku kamwa chimene umaliseche uli ku diso. Mofanana ndi umaliseche, kulankhula ponena za kugonana mwa njira yotsika kungadzutse maganizo osayenera mu mtima. Pamene mbewu ya zikhumbo zoipa yabzalidwa, chomwe chimangofunikira uli mwaŵi wakuchita zikhumbo zimenezo.—Yakobo 1:14, 15.

Kuwonjezerapo, kutalitali ndi kukometsa nkhani, mawu onyoza amapanga nkhani kukhala yodabwitsa ndi yopalamula. Mtsikana wina wa zaka 13 zakubadwa wofunsidwa ndi Children’s Express ananena kuti: “Ndadzikhalitsa ndi nthenda ya chinenero chotukwana. . . . Pali zinthu zina zimene sumazoloŵerana nazo.” Mwamuna wanzeru Solomo ‘anafuna kupeza mawu okondweretsa’ m’kulongosola malingaliro ake. (Mlaliki 12:10) Nanunso mungamveketse nsonga yanu mwa kungogwiritsira ntchito kusankha mawu kwabwino. Simumafunikira kutembenukira ku mawu odabwitsa.

Pomalizira, mawu ena otukwana amabweretsa chitonzo pa Mulungu iyemwini! Ndithudi chimenechi chingangobweretsa kusakondweretsedwa kwake. (Eksodo 20:7) Chifukwa cha zonsezi, Baibulo limasonkhezera kuti: “Koma dama ndi chidetso chonse, kapena chisiriro, zisatchulidwe ndi kutchulidwa komwe mwa inu, monga kuyenera kwa oyera mtima; kapena chinyanso, ndi kulankhula zopanda pake, kapena zopusa zimene siziyenera.”—Aefeso 5:3, 4.

Chididikizo cha Amsinkhu Wofanana

Komabe chifukwa china chimene achichepere amadziloŵetsera m’chinenero choipa chiri chididikizo cha amsinkhu wofanana. Monga mmene wachichepere wina Wachikristu akuchiikira icho: “Unyinji wa anthu achichepere samafuna kuwonedwa monga amantha kapena osatchuka. Iwo amafuna kukhala m’gulu. Chotero ngati kutukwana kuli chimodzi cha zinthu zimene uyenera kuchita, umachita iko.”

Chididikizo cha amsinkhu wofanana chingakhale chotchuka mwapadera m’machitachita onga maseŵera a pasukulu. Kumeneko, kunyoza nthaŵi zina kuli chinachake chochirikizidwa mwadala ndi alangizi a gulu loseŵera. Chotero wachichepere wotchedwa Kinney akulongosola kuti kunyoza kuli kofala m’chipinda chosinthira maseŵera a basketball asanayambe chifukwa chakuti “kumaputa munthu, kumkwiyitsa iye mofuna kuphulika.”

Koma kodi nchiyani kaŵirikaŵiri chimatulukapo pamene mkwiyo umakwezedwa ku mlingo wokulira umenewu? Kenaka maseŵera salinso chosangulutsa koma kachitidwe m’nkhalwe ndi kupikisana kowopsya. Kumenyana ndi kuvulala ziri zofala. Ndipo wachichepere wotchedwa Tyrone akuvomereza kuti: “Pamene aliyense watengeka m’maseŵerawo ndipo winawake wodedwa akwiyitsidwa ndi kutukwana wopikisana naye kapena woliza pintu, chimenecho chingakuyambukireni.”

Mosakaikira, ngakhale ndi tero, kugwiritsira ntchito mawu onyoza chiri chizoloŵezi choipa kukhala “chitakuyambukirani.” Baibulo likunena kuti: “Chitsiru chivumbulutsa mkwiyo wake wonse; koma wanzeru auletsa nawutontholetsa.” (Miyambo 29:11) Kodi ndimotani, ngakhale ndi tero, mmene inu ‘mungaikire cham’kamwa monga chotetezera kamwa yanu’ pamene muli pansi pa chididikizo cha kutukwana? (Salmo 39:1) Nkhani yotsatira idzalongosola zimenezi.

[Chithunzi patsamba 14]

Wina wokhala m’chizoloŵezi cha kutukwana angadzipeze iyemwini akugwiritsira ntchito izo poyera