Kuchezetsa Wodwala—Mmene Mungathandizire

BWENZI laikidwa m’chipatala, ndipo mukufunadi kukalichezetsa. Kodi muyenera kunenanji ndi kuchitanji? Kodi nchiyani chomwe mungabweretse? Kodi nchiyani chimene chingakhale chothandiza kwenikweni? Ndipo kodi pali zinthu zimene muyenera kupeŵa kunena kapena kuchita?

Inu mukufuna kuti kuchezetsa kwanu kukhale kopindulitsa, osati kungoti “Tikuwoneni” basi, “Mulibwanji?” wamwambo kenaka mofulumira nkuti “Tsalani bwino,” mwinamwake nkuwonjezera kuti “Muchire mofulumira.” Chotero kodi muyenera kuchita motani?

Chilangizo choyamba nchakuti: Khalani wochenjera ponena za kusankha nthaŵi ya kuchezetsa kwanu. Mungamfunse wodwalayo kapena banja lake yomwe ingakhale nthaŵi yabwino kwambiri, monga ngati pamene sadzakhala wotanganitsidwa ndi ochezetsa ena kapena achibale achifupi. Mwinamwake nkwabwino kuchezetsa mmadzulo asanachitidwe opareshoni pamene wodwalayo angapindule ndi kukambitsirana kosangalatsa, kotonthoza mmalo mwa kupitako pambuyo pa kutumbulidwa, pamene angakhale wofooka kapena akumva kupweteka.

Mawu Operekedwa Ochokera kwa Wanzeru

Tingalingalire mawu akuti ‘kukambitsirana kosangalatsa.’ Yembekezerani kuyamba ndinu kukambitsirana pakuchezetsako, ndipo kusungeni kukhala koseketsa. Munthu wokhala m’kama la m’chipatalayo sayenera kudzivutitsa kukhala wokuchezetsani. Inu mungampeputsire vutolo mwa kukhala ndi mkhalidwe womasuka ndi waubwenzi. Tsopano, zimene munganene, ndi zimene simunganene.

Musabwere ndi nkhope yakugwa kapena yachisoni, ngakhale kutawoneka kuti wodwalayo ali mumkhalidwe wa kayakaya. ‘Mtima wosekerera uchiritsa bwino,’ akutero mlembi wanzeru wa Miyambo, “koma mzimu wosweka uphwetsa mafupa.” (Miyambo 17:22) Chotero, kumbukirani kuti ndithayo lanu kusungabe kukambitsiranako kukhala kolimbikitsa ndi kosangalatsa.—Miyambo 25:11; yerekezerani ndi Yesaya 41:13.

Mbiri yaposachedwapa yochokera ku banja la wodwalayo kapena ya mumpingo ingakhale yokondweretsa ndi yomangirira, makamaka ngati muli ndi mbiri yabwino. Ndiponso, musaiŵale chiyambukiro chimene kudzimva wachisangalalo kuli nacho pakuchiritsa; funafunani mwaŵi wakupangitsa wodwalayo kumwetulira kapena kuseka. Kulinganiza nkofunikira panopa. Inu mwakamchezetsa osati kukhala wanthambwala kapena wachiphwete koma kukasonyeza kudera nkhaŵa kwanu kwenikweni ndi kutonthoza.

Wodwalayo amafunikiranso chidaliro. Chotero, khalani wosamala kusalankhula moipa ponena za dokotala kapena chipatala. Nkwabwino kaŵirikaŵiri kusayerekeza mkhalidwe wa wodwalayo kapena vuto ndi chinachake chimene munakhalapo nacho inumwini kapena ndi ena amene anakhalapo ndi vuto lofananalo, pokhapo ngati chotulukapo chake chinali chachimwemwe. Munthu aliyense ngwosiyana, ndipo mkhalidwe wa wodwala aliyense ngwapadera.—Miyambo 18:13.

Chosamalira chomalizira ponena za kukambitsirana kwanu ndi ichi: Kodi munakhalapo ndi chokumana nacho chodzetsa chiyeso, ndichotopetsa cha kukhala ndi munthu wina amene mawu ake amatuluka mkamwa mofanana ndi zipolopolo za mfuti yachiwaya, mofanana ndi mkokomo wa madzi a mumtsinje omagwa m’Mathithi a Iguaçú? Kunakutopetsani, kodi sitero? Chotero chonde musachite mwanjira imeneyo pochezetsa bwenzi lanu kapena wachibale wodwalira kuchipatala. Pamene kuli kwakuti kulankhula kwanu kuyenera kukhala kosangalatsa ndi kolimbikitsa, lamulirani unyinji wa zokambidwa ndi kufulumira kwa makambidwewo. Simufunikira kukhala wodera nkhaŵa, ngati kuti m’kamphindi kalikonse mufunikira kunenapo kanthu. Nyengo yokhalira zii pamodzi ingakhalenso yotonthoza. Inde, khalani wosamala kuti simukumuwonjezera kutopa wodwalayo ndi ochezetsa ondondozana omukakamizanso kumva mawu ochulukira kwambiri.

Kuchezetsa Kwautali Wotani?

M’mbali zina zadziko, banja limakhaladi m’chipatala ndi wodwalayo. Iwo angayembekezeredwe kusamalira kusambitsa munthuyo ndi kupereka zakudya, chotero kuchezetsa koteroko kungafunikire kukhala kwanthaŵi yaitali. Koma m’zipatala zambiri, nthaŵi yochezetsa njochepa kotero kuti wodwala sakulipiritsidwa msonkho mopambanitsa ndipo antchito a m’chipatala angachite ntchito zawo. Chotero, kaŵirikaŵiri kuchezetsa kwanu sikuyenera kuposa pa ola limodzi ngati ndinu wachibale kapena bwenzi lapamtima la wodwalayo, ndi theka la ola ngati ndinu bwenzi chabe. Kodi bwanji ngati wodwalayo wakupemphani kukhala kwanthaŵi yaitali? Kungakhalebe kwabwino kufupikitsa kuchezetsa kwanu, popeza kuti angatope ndi kukhala ndi malingaliro ochulukira. Ndithudi, muyenera kugwiritsira ntchito kuchenjera kwanu, koma mfundo yaikulu njakuti, musakhalitse.

Uphunguwu uyenera kugogomezeredwa mwapadera ngati wodwalayo akuwonekera kukhala kale ndi ochezetsa ambiri kuposa omwe akuwafunikira kapena m’lamulo la chipatala. Kwenikweni, kuchezetsa kwanu kofupikira kobwerezabwereza nkomwe kukufunikira ndipo kumasonyeza kuti mukudera nkhaŵa kuposa kumodzi kokha kwakutali. Kumbukiraninso, kufunikira kwa kuchenjera ngati wodwalayo akuwonekera kukhala ndi achibale oipa kapena okwiya ndi kukhalapo kwanu.—Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 25:17.

Thandizo Lanu Lopindulitsa

Ngakhale musananyamuke kukachezetsa, kukonzekera kwina kwapasadakhale kudzathandiza. Kodi pali chinachake chothandiza chimene mungabweretse? Kodi bwanji ponena za chinthu chatsopano chokaŵerenga? Mwinamwake tsiku lomwelo m’bokosi lanu la mtokoma mwalandira kope latsopano la magazini amene wodwalayo amasangalala nawo. Wodwalayo angachititsidwe chidwi ndikufunitsitsa kwanu kugawana naye kope lanu latsopano lamtengo wapatalilo. Inu mungadziperekedi kumuŵerengera nkhani imodzi kapena ziŵiri zomwe mwakondwera nazo mwapadera.

Kodi ndizinthu zina ziti zimene mungabweretse? Mphatso yaing’ono yonga ngati maluŵa kapena chipatso ingasangalatse patsikulo. Chinthu chinanso chochititsa chidwi chingakhale siwiti yapamtima kwa wodwalayo kapena chakudya chomwe mwachipangira kunyumba—ngati ichi nchololedwa. Mungafunse banja ponena za zakudya zoterozo kapena anamwino musanazibweretse m’chipindamo.

Mungafunsenso dokotala kapena anamwino kaya pali chinachake chimene mungabweretsere wodwalayo kapena chimene mungam’chitire chomwe chingapeputseko ntchito yawo kapena kumpangitsa kukhala wotonthozedwa kwambiri. Iwo angalivomereze thandizo lanu.

Kodi mukufuna kuthandiza mwanjira zina? Mufunseni wodwalayo ponena za zinthu zazing’ono zopindulitsa. Kodi ndani akumpositila kapena kum’bweretsera makalata? Kodi mungadzipereke kukam’fufuzira panyumba pake, kapena ngakhale kupita ndi mabwenzi kukakuthandizani kuyeretsapo wodwalayo asanabwerere kunyumba? Kodi pakufunikira munthu wokayeretsa m’kamsewu, kuthirira mbewu, kapena kuchitapo kanthu kotero kuti nyumba idziwoneka ngati pakukhala anthu ndipo motero siikukopa mbala? Kodi iye akudera nkhaŵa za kusamalira chiŵeto? Zinthuzi ndi zinazake zingakhale zikukumbukiridwa ndi wodwalayo koma sangaziulule kufikira mutamfunsa. Kufunsa kwanu kokoma mtima kudzakhalanso kothandiza m’lingaliro logogomezera kuti mumasamaliradi.

Chenjezo lonena za kuvala bwino pokacheza kuchipatala nloyenera. Ngakhale kuti kungamveke kwachilendo, njira imene mumavalira ndi kuchitira zinthu ingayambukire njira imene wodwalayo akusamaliridwira ndi ogwira ntchito m’chipatalamo. Iwo angachititsidwe chidwi atawona wodwala akulandira ochezetsa opesa bwino tsitsi. Pamene ochezetsa olemekezeka angapo oterowo akuwonedwa akufunsa zaumoyo wa wodwalayo, antchitowo angatsimikizire kuti wodwalayo ayenera kukhala munthu wolemekezeka, chomwe ndithudi chiridi tero. Baibulo likutchula kudzikometsera tokha m’njira ‘yokomera akuvomereza Mulungu,’ ndipo mwakuchita kwanu tero, inu mungalimbikitse antchitowo kusamalira wodwalayo mofananamo.—1 Timoteo 2:9, 10.

Ngati Pali Vuto Lalikulu

Kamodzikamodzi, wodwala amene mukuchezetsa angakhale ali ndi vuto lalikulu la kulankhuzana ndi antchito a m’chipatala. Funso labwino lofunikira kukonzekera, popanda kuloŵerera chinsinsi cha munthuyo ndilo ili, “Kodi dokotala aganizira kuti mukupeza bwanji?” Ngati zinthu sizikuyenda bwino, ndipo ndinu chiŵalo chabanja kapena minisitala wokhala ndi thayo, mwinamwake mungathandize. Kaamba ka ubwino wa wodwalayo, inu mungafunikire kuchitapo kanthu nokha kufufuza chidziŵitso chokwanira kwa antchito a m’chipatala. Kapena mwinamwake mungadzipereke kupita ndi ziŵalo za banja lake, omwe mwinamwake angakhale ozengereza kukalankhula ndi dokotalayo.

Izi zitakhala tero, chinthu chachikulu choti chikumbukiridwe ndicho kusawopsedwa ndi makonzedwe omwe mudzawona m’chipatala kapena antchito ake. Wodwalayo angakhale ali m’chigawo cha odwala mwakayakaya, wozunguliridwa ndi makina amitundumitundu ndi anthu odwala kwambiri. Antchitowo angawoneke kukhala otanganitsidwa kwambiri kapena mwinamwake aukali. Chikhoterero chimakhala chakuwopa kuŵadodometsa, nkusatchula chirichonse chomwe chingalingaliridwe kukhala chitokoso. Koma ngati ndinu woimiradi wodwalayo, inu (ndi iye) muli oyenera mayankho omveka ndi kudziŵitsidwa njira zina. Simufunikira kukopedwa kufikira ntchito yanu itakwaniritsidwa. Pamene mukusamalitsa kusakhala chokhumudwitsa, kumbukirani kuti ngakhale Yesu m’fanizo anagogomezera kuti nthaŵi zina nkoyenerera kumafunsabe kuti mupeze chisamaliro kapena chidziŵitso chomwe munthu akuchiyenerera.—Luka 18:1-6.

Kuyang’ana m’Mbuyo mwa Kuchezetsa Kwanu

Mutamaliza kuchezetsa kwanu, ndikusiya zochitika zosangalatsa, mungabwereremo m’zimene munanena ndi kuchita. Kubwereramoku kungakuthandizeni kuzindikira mmene kuchezetsa kwanu kotsatira, kwa wodwalayu kapena kwa winawake, kungakhalire kopindulitsa kwenikweni ndi kokhutiritsa.

Kwakukulukulu, pali zambiri zimene mungakwaniritse ndi kuchezetsa kwanu kuchipatala. Kumbukirani kukonzekera ndi chikhumbo cha kufuna kukhala wothandiza. Mwa kugwira mwaŵi, inu mungachite zambiri ndikutsimikizira kukhala ‘bwenzi lopambana mbale [wakuthupi] kuumirira.’—Miyambo 18:24.

[Bokosi patsamba 10]

Kuchezetsa Kwanu Wodwala Kothandiza

1. Khalani wokonzekera.

2. Lingalirani mkhalidwe wa wodwalayo. Musakhalitse pakuchezetsa kwanuko.

3. Valani bwino.

4. Tsogolerani kukambitsirana, koma chepetsani mawu.

5. Khalani wothandiza ndizimene mubweretsa kapena kudzipereka kuchita.

6. Khalani waubwenzi ndi womangirira.

7. Bwereraniko kaamba ka kuchezetsa kwina kwachidule.