Kodi Nchiyani Chimalamulira Maganizo Anu?

ZAKA ngati 2,700 zapitazo, mlembi wouziridwa analemba mwambi wogwira mtima wakuti: “Maseŵero a chitsiru ndiwo kuchita zoipa.” (Miyambo 10:23) Umboni wakuti zimenezo nzoona waoneka makamaka kuyambira pamene anthu anasintha maganizo pa zakugonana. Kusanakhale mantha a AIDS, ambiri amaganiza kuti kugonana ndi ‘maseŵero kwa okuchita’ ndi kuti munthu ayenera kukhutiritsa chilakolako chake ‘kaya pakhale zotsatirapo zotani.’ Kodi maganizo ameneŵa asintha? Osati kwenikweni.

Chikoka chalero cha kugonana chikali kutulutsa anthu otchedwa “attraction junkies,” ‘serial polygamists,’ ndi “sexual predators,” amene amalimbikira kunena kuti makhalidwe ndi nkhani ya munthu mwini ndi kuti kugonana ndi aliyense kuli bwino. (Onani bokosi lakuti “Mitundu ya Anthu Ochita Zakugonana,” patsamba 6.) Amati kugonana ndi aliyense amene ufuna ‘sikumavulaza munthu aliyense,’ malinga ngati amene akugonanawo ndi anthu akulu amene amvana. Mu 1964, wasayansi ya kakhalidwe ka anthu pa Yunivesite ya State ku Iowa Ira Reiss anatcha zimenezo “kulekerera zinthu kwachikondi.”

Bishopu wa Angilikani wa ku Edinburgh, Scotland, angakhale akuganiza zofananazo, pakuti anatero kuti anthu amabadwa kuti azikhala ndi ogonana nawo ambiri. M’nkhani yake yonena za kugonana ndi Chikristu, iye anati: “Mulungu anali kudziŵa pamene anatipanga ndi chilakolako chachibadwa cha kugonana kuti tizipita nkumakafesa mbewu zathu. Anatipatsa majini akugonana ndi aliyense. Ndikhulupirira kungakhale kulakwa ngati tchalitchi chiwapeza ndi mlandu anthu amene angotsata chibadwa chawo.”

Kodi kuganiza koteroko nkwabwino? Kodi zotsatirapo za kugonana ndi aliyense nzotani? Kodi kukhala ndi zibwenzi zambiri zakanthaŵi kumakhutiritsa ndi kupatsa chimwemwe?

Mliri wa dziko lonse wa matenda opatsana mwa kugonana ndiponso mimba zapathengo mamiliyoni ambiri, makamaka kwa atsikana, zili umboni wakuti chikhulupiriro chimenecho chalephera. Malinga ndi magazini ya Newsweek, m’United States mokha, achinyamata mamiliyoni ngati atatu amatenga matenda opatsana mwa kugonana chaka chilichonse. Ndiponso, ambiri mwa ‘anthu akulu omvana’ ameneŵa aoneka kuti alibe “chikondi chachibadwidwe” kapena sasamala za mwana amene angadzabadwe, ndipo amafulumira kuchotsa mimba. (2 Timoteo 3:3) Zimenezi zimatayitsa moyo wa mwana wosabadwayo, pamene amchotsa mwankhalwe kwa amake. Mayi wachitsikanayo mwina angakhale wopsinjika maganizo ndipo angamadzimve wamlandu moyo wake wonse.

Ku Britain chabe pakati pa ma 1990, ndalama zowonongeka pachaka chifukwa cha kusintha maganizo pa zakugonana zinali zochuluka zokwanira $20,000,000,000. Anapeza chiŵerengerocho ndi Dr. Patrick Dixon. M’buku lake lakuti The Rising Price of Love, Dr. Dixon anapeza chiŵerengero chimenechi mwa kuŵerengera ndalama zowonongeka pochiritsa matenda opatsana mwa kugonana, kuphatikizapo AIDS; ndalama zowonongeka posudzulana; ndalama zomwe anthu amawononga posamalira kholo losakwatiwa; ndi ndalama zowonongeka popatsa banja ndi ana uphungu. Malinga ndi kunena kwa The Globe and Mail, nyuzipepala ya masiku onse ya ku Canada, Dr. Dixon anati: “Kusintha maganizo pa zakugonana kumene kunatilonjeza ufulu kwasiya ambiri ali akapolo, m’dziko losakazidwa ndi msokonezo pa zakugonana, tsoka, kusungulumwa, kupweteka mtima, chiwawa ndi nkhanza.”

Nangano anthu amatengekabe bwanji ndi zakugonana, zibwenzi zakanthaŵi, ndi kuumirira kuti kugonana ndi aliyense kulibe mlandu? Ndi zipatso zoipa zoonekeratu zonsezi zimene zakhalapo pazaka makumi atatu zapitazi, kodi nchiyani chimasonkhezera chikoka chowononga chimenechi?

Zamaliseche Zimapotoza Nkhani ya Kugonana

Akuti zina zimene zalimbikitsa chikoka cha kugonana ndizo zamaliseche. Munthu wina amene anavomera kuti ngwomwerekera ndi zakugonana analemba m’nyuzipepala yakuti The Toronto Star kuti: “Ndinasiya kusuta zaka zisanu zapita, moŵa ndinasiya zaka ziŵiri zapita, koma palibe chimene chandivuta kusiya ngati kumwerekera kwanga ndi zakugonana ndi zamaliseche.”

Iye akhulupiriranso kuti achinyamata amene nthaŵi zonse amaonerera zamaliseche amakhala ndi maganizo opotoka pa zakugonana. Amachita kugonana kumene amalota ndipo maunansi enieni amawavuta zedi. Zimenezi zimawachititsa kudzipatula ndi kuwaloŵetsa m’mavuto ena, makamaka vuto la kupeza zibwenzi zachikondi zokhalitsa.

Okonza Zosangulutsa Amalimbikitsa Kugonana

Okonza zosangulutsa atsata ndipo aonetsa uchiwerewere wophatikizapo kugonana ndi anthu ambirimbiri, okwatirana kapena osakwatirana. Kuonetsa kugonana kopanda chikondi ndi koluluzika pakanema kwalimbikitsa chikoka cha kugonana, kupatsa mbadwo uno maganizo opotoka ponena za kugonana kwa anthu. Kaŵirikaŵiri zosangulutsa zimasonyeza monyenga kuti kugonana kwa osakwatirana ndiko kukondana kwenikweni. Anthu amene amakonda oseŵera m’zosangulutsa amaoneka kuti satha kusiyanitsa chilakolako chosadziletsa ndi chikondi, kugonana kanthaŵi ndi kukhulupirirana kwa moyo wonse, kapena kusiyanitsa maloto ndi zenizeni.

Momwemonso, osatsa malonda nthaŵi zambiri agwiritsira ntchito kugonana monga chipangizo chogulitsira malonda awo. Kugonana kwakhala “chida chimene cholinga chake ndicho kukopa anthu kuti achite chidwi ndi katundu yemwe akumsatsayo,” anatero phungu pa zakugonana. Osatsa malonda agwiritsira ntchito kugonana ndipo anena kuti kugonana ndiko moyo wabwino, koma izinso zangokhala “kupotoza maganizo pa zakugonana” kwa m’zaka za zana la 20, malinga ndi zimene inanena magazini yakuti Family Relations.

Kusintha Malo Kupotoza Maganizo

Kusintha kwa kakhalidwe ka anthu ndi kukhalapo pamsika kwa mankhwala oletsa kutenga mimba amene anayamba mu 1960 kunasinthitsa khalidwe la akazi mamiliyoni ambiri pa zakugonana. Mankhwala amenewo anachititsa akazi kudzimva kuti alingana ndi amuna pa zakugonana, apeza ufulu pa zakugonana kapena kudziimira pa okha kusiyana ndi kalelonse. Mofanana ndi amuna, iwo tsopano anatha kuloŵa m’zitsamwali zakanthaŵi, popeza analibenso mantha a kutenga mimba zosafunika. Pofuna kukhutira ndi ufulu wawo wa kugonana, amuna ndi akazi omwe anasiya banja lamwambo ndi malo a mwamuna ndi mkazi pakugonana.

Za anthu otero, mlembi wa Baibulo wa m’zaka za zana loyamba anati: “Okhala nawo maso odzala ndi chigololo, osakhoza kuleka uchimo, . . . okhala nawo mtima wozoloŵera kusirira. . . . Posiya njira yolunjika, anasokera.”—2 Petro 2:14, 15.

Maphunziro Akusukulu a Zakugonana

Kufufuza kochitidwa ku United States pa akazi osakwatiwa 10,000 a msinkhu wopita kusukulu ya sekondale kunasonyeza kuti “chidziŵitso, chopezeka m’maphunziro a zakugonana ndi kudzinenera kwawo kuti amadziŵa za mankhwala oletsa kutenga mimba,” sikunasinthe chiŵerengero cha mimba za atsikana osakwatiwa. Komabe, sukulu zina zikuchitapo kanthu pa vutolo mwa kupatsa ophunzira makondomu aulere, ngakhale kuti zimenezi anthu ambiri akuzitsutsa.

Wophunzira pasukulu ya sekondale wazaka 17 amene anamfunsa a nyuzipepala yakuti Calgary Herald anati: “Nzoona kuti achinyamata ambiri pasukulu za sekondale amagonana . . . ngakhale a zaka 12.”

Kodi Chikondi ndi Kudzipereka Nchiyani?

Kukondana, kukhulupirirana, ndi ubwenzi wapamtima sizimakhalapo chifukwa chongokopeka kamodzinkamodzi ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna; kapenanso mwa kukhutiritsa chilakolako cha kugonana. Kugonana kokha sikumayambitsa chikondi chenicheni. Chikondi chimayambira mumtima wa anthu aŵiri osamala amene ali odzipereka pa kumanga unansi wachikhalire.

Zibwenzi zakanthaŵi potsirizira pake zimakusiya wotekeseka, wosungulumwa, ndipo mwina ndi matenda opatsana mwa kugonana onga AIDS. Ochirikiza kugonana kwaufulu tingaŵafotokoze ndi mawu opezeka pa 2 Petro 2:19: ‘Akuwalonjezera iwo ufulu, pokhala iwo okha ali akapolo a chivundi; pakuti iye amene munthu agonjedwa naye, ameneyonso adzakhala kapolo wake.’

Bungwe la Church of England lokhala ndi udindo wa kakhalidwe linatulutsa lipoti m’June 1995, lakuti “Chinthu Chokondwera Nacho.” Kusiyana kwambiri ndi uphungu wa Baibulo, bungwelo linalimbikitsa tchalitchi “kuleka kugwiritsira ntchito mawu akutiwo ‘kukhala mu uchimo’ ndi kusiya mzimu wake wokonda kuweruza aja amene amakhala pamodzi popanda ukwati,” inatero The Toronto Star. Lipotilo linalimbikitsa kuti “mipingo iyenera kulandira okhala pamodzi popanda ukwati, kuwamvetsera, ndi kuphunzira kwa iwo, . . . kuti onse azindikire kuti Mulungu ali m’moyo wawo.”

Kodi Yesu akanawatcha chiyani atsogoleri achipembedzo otero? Akanangoti ali “atsogoleri akhungu.” Nanga aja amene amatsatira atsogoleri oterowo? Iye anati: “Ndipo ngati wakhungu amtsogolera wakhungu, onse aŵiri adzagwa m’mbuna.” Kunenetsa, Yesu momveka anatero kuti “zachigololo” ndi “zachiwerewere” zili zina za zinthu zimene “ziipitsa munthu.”—Mateyu 15:14, 18-20.

Pokhala tapenda zinthu zosiyanasiyana zimene zimapotoza ndi kusokoneza kugonana, kodi munthu, makamaka achinyamata, angamasuke motani pakukopeka mtima ndi zakugonana? Chinsinsi chake cha maunansi osangalatsa ndi okhalitsa nchiyani? Nkhani yotsatira idzafotokoza kwambiri zimene makolo angachite kuthandiza achinyamata kukonzekera zamtosogolo.

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 5]

M’United States mokha, achinyamata mamiliyoni ngati atatu amatenga matenda opatsana mwa kugonana chaka chilichonse

[Bokosi patsamba 6]

Mitundu ya Anthu Ochita Zakugonana

Attraction Junkies (anthu achimasomaso): Amakopeka ndi chikondi cha mwamuna ndi mkazi, choncho amasinthasintha zibwenzi zawozo kukopeka kwawoko kutangotha. Anayambitsa mawuwo ndi Dr. Michael Liebowitz wa pa New York State Psychiatric Institute.

Serial Polygamists (okonda kukwatirakwatira): Ndimo mmene asayansi ya kakhalidwe ka anthu amatchera anthu amene amakwatira mwalamulo, kulekana, kukwatiranso wina, choncho basi.

Sexual Predators (osusuka pa zakugonana): Amakonda kuonetsera mphamvu zawo za kugonana mwa kugonana ndi anthu ambirimbiri, akutero Luther Baker, profesa wa maphunziro a zabanja ndiponso phungu walamulo pa zakugonana. Mawu ameneŵa akuwagwiritsira ntchito kutcheranso oipitsa ana.

[Chithunzi patsamba 7]

Munthu amamwerekera ndi zamaliseche ndipo zimampotoza maganizo pa zakugonana