Lingaliro la Baibulo

Kodi Nkulakwa Kuseŵera Kokopana Pakati pa Mwamuna ndi Mkazi?

“Nchifukwa chiyani timaganiza kuti kuseŵera kokopana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi nkupusitsana kapena chinyengo kapena koipa? Si koipa! Ndi maseŵera! Ndipo palibe amene amaluza chifukwa winayo nayenso amamva bwino.”—Susan Rabin, mkulu wa School of Flirting, ku New York City.

ANTHU ambiri amaona kuseŵera kokopana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi monga kwabwino, kusalakwa, ndipo mwina ngakhale kofunika pofuna kupanga ndi kukulitsa ubwenzi wa anthu. M’maiko a Kumadzulo, kwafala mabuku, nkhani za m’magazini, ndiponso makosi apadera ophunzitsa kulankhula ndi thupi, kaimidwe kathupi, ndi mmene ungayang’anire mokopa zimene zili zofunika pa “luso la kuseŵera kokopana ndi amuna kapena akazi.”

Kodi kuseŵera tikunenaku nchiyani? Pali malongosoledwe ndi matanthauzidwe osiyanasiyana. Dikishonale ina inatanthauzira monga khalidwe “lomayerekezera ngati ukufuna kumanyengana naye munthuyo.” Dikishonale ina inatanthauzira kuseŵeraku monga khalidwe “losonyeza ngati ukumfuna munthu koma popanda cholinga chenicheni.” Motero, zioneka kuti nzovomerezeka kunena kuti kuseŵeraku ndiko kusonyeza chikondi chokhala ngati munthuyo ukumfuna koma popanda cholinga choti ukwatirane naye. Kodi kuseŵeraku tikuone monga kopanda choipa chilichonse? Kodi lingaliro la Baibulo nlotani pa kuseŵera kwa mtundu umenewu?a

Ngakhale kuti kuseŵeraku sikunatchulidwe mwachindunji m’Malemba, tikhoza kudziŵa mmene Mulungu amakuonera. Motani? Mwakufufuza mapulinsipulo a Baibulo okhudza nkhaniyi. Motero tiyenera ‘kuzoloŵera kusiyanitsa pakati pa chabwino ndi choipa.’ (Ahebri 5:14) Choyamba tiyeni tione ngati kuseŵeraku nkoyenera kwa anthu apabanja.

Ngati ndi Wokwatiwa Kapena Wokwatira

Nkwachibadwa kwa anthu okwatirana ngati ali kwa okha kusonyezana chikondi chakuti akufunana wina ndi mnzake. (Yerekezerani ndi Genesis 26:8.) Koma kusonyeza chikondi chimenechi kwa wina wake amene simunakwatirane naye kumatsutsana ndi mapulinsipulo a Mulungu. Yehova amafuna kuti anthu okwatirana azisangalala ndi ubwenzi wa ponda apa mpondepo ndi wokhulupirirana. (Genesis 2:24; Aefeso 5:21-33) Iye amaona ukwati monga chinthu chopatulika, mgwirizano wosatha. Malaki 2:16 amati ponena za Mulungu: “Ndidana nako kuleka kumene.”b

Kodi kuseŵera kokopana kwa amuna ndi akazi kochitidwa ndi wapabanja nkogwirizana ndi mmene Mulungu amaonera ukwati? Ndi chinthu choipa chifukwa, munthu wokwatira atamaseŵera motero amasonyeza kusalemekeza kupatulika kwa ukwati kumene Mulungu anayambitsa. Komanso, Aefeso 5:33 amalangiza mwamuna wachikristu kuti ‘azikonda mkazi wake wa iye yekha, monga adzikonda yekha’ ndipo mkazi “akumbukire kuti aziopa mwamuna.” Kodi kuseŵera kumene kumayambitsa nsanje, kumasonyeza chikondi kapena kulemekeza mnzako wa muukwati?

Choipa kwambiri nchakuti kuseŵera kokopana kwa amuna ndi akazi kukhoza kupangitsa chigololo, tchimo limene Yehova limamunyansa kwambiri ndipo amalitcha kusakhulupirika. (Eksodo 20:14; Levitiko 20:10; Malaki 2:14, 15; Marko 10:17-19) Ndithudi Yehova amaona chigololo monga choipa kwambiri mwakuti amalola amene wasonyezedwa kusakhulupirikayo kuthetsa ukwati. (Mateyu 5:32) Choncho, kodi mungayerekezera Yehova kuvomereza kuti muzitayira nthaŵi pa kuseŵera kumene kungadzakupangitseni ngozi motero? Mulungu sangalole zimenezo monga mmene kholo silingalolere mwana wamng’ono kumaseŵeretsa mpeni wakuthwa wa m’khichini.

Ponena za chigololo Baibulo limachenjeza kuti: “Kodi mwamuna angatenge moto pa chifuwa chake, osatentha zobvala zake? Pena kodi mwamuna angayende pa makala oyaka, osapsa mapazi ake? Chomwecho wolowa kwa mkazi wa mnzake; womkhudzayo sadzapulumuka chilango.” (Miyambo 6:27-29) Komabe ngakhale ngati sanachite chigololo, munthu wapabanja woseŵera molakwika angakhoze kubweretsa ngozi ina—kupezeka ali pa chimene chimatchedwa kuti “chibwenzi cha m’maganizo chabe.”

Chibwenzi cha M’maganizo Chabe

Anthu ena amakhala ndi zibwenzi kuwonjezera pa mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo zimene zimayambitsa malingaliro ofunana, ngakhale kuti sipakhala kugonana. Komabe Yesu anachenjeza kuti: “Yense wakuyang’ana mkazi kumkhumba, pamenepo watha kuchita naye chigololo mumtima mwake.” (Mateyu 5:28) Kodi nchifukwa ninji Yesu anakaniza kusirira munthu kosaonekera kongokhala chabe mumtima?

Chifukwa chimodzi nchakuti “mumtima muchokera . . . zachigololo.” (Mateyu 15:19) Ndipo ubwenzi umenewo ngwoipa ngakhale ngati sunapite patsogolo kufika poti mungakhale pangozi yochita chigololo. Motani? Buku lina linati pankhani imeneyi: “Zochita kaya ubwenzi uliwonse umene umakulandani nthaŵi yaikulu ndi mphamvu kukuchotsani kwa mnzanu wokwatirana naye ndi chinyengo.” Ndithudi, chibwenzi cha m’maganizo chabe chimalanda mnzanu nthaŵi, chidwi chake, ndi chikondi. Polingalira za lamulo la Yesu lakuti tizichitira ena monga mmene ife timafunira kuti azitichitira, munthu wokwatira amene amaseŵera mokopa ena angachite bwino kudzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi ndikanamva bwanji ngati mkazi kapena mwamuna wanga akanachita chonchi ndi munthu wina?’—Miyambo 5:15-23; Mateyu 7:12.

Ngati munthu wina wapanga ubwenzi wosayenera wa m’maganizo ngati umenewu, kodi ayenera kuchitanji? Munthu wokwatira amene amagwirizana molakwika ndi munthu wina ali ngati dalaivala amene amagona akuyendetsa galimoto. Ayenera kuzindikira za vutolo ndi kuchitapo kanthu mwamsanga ndi mwanzeru kuti ukwati wake ndiponso ubwenzi wake ndi Mulungu usanawonongeke. Yesu anapereka chitsanzo chakuti tiyenera kuchitapo kanthu mwamsanga pamene ananena kuti ngakhale chinthu chofunika monga diso liyenera kukolowoledwa kapena dzanja kudulidwa ngati ndilo likuwononga kaimidwe kabwino ka munthu pamaso pa Mulungu.—Mateyu 5:29, 30.

Kungakhale kwanzeru kudziikira malire a malo ndi nthaŵi imene muzionanirana ndi munthu winayo. Ndithudi, mukayenera kupewa kumakhala aŵiriŵiri kwanokha ndi iyeyo, ndipo ngati nkuntchito, ikani malire a zimene muzikambitsirana. Kungakhale koyenera ngakhale kuleka kukumana kulikonse ndi munthuyo. Kenaka, onetsetsani kuti muli tcheru kudziletsa ponena za diso lanu, maganizo, malingaliro, ndi khalidwe. (Genesis 39:7-12; Salmo 19:14; Miyambo 4:23; 1 Atesalonika 4:4-6) Yobu, munthu wokwatira, anapereka chitsanzo chabwino pamene ananena kuti: “Ndinapangana ndi maso anga, potero ndipenyerenji namwali?”—Yobu 31:1.

Nzoonekeratu, kuti nzangozi ndiponso malemba amaletsa kuti munthu wokwatira aziseŵera molakwika ndi munthu wina. Koma nanga, lingaliro la Baibulo nlotani pa za kuseŵera kwa amuna ndi akazi kumeneku kwa anthu osakwatira? Kodi kuyenera kutengedwa monga kosalakwika, kwabwino, kapena kofunika pofuna kuti akhazikitse ubwenzi ndi mnyamata kapena mtsikana? Kodi pangakhale vuto lina lililonse?

Bwanji Nanga za Anthu Osakwatira?

Palibe cholakwika ngati anthu osakwatira ali ndi chidwi kwa wina ndi mnzake, malinga ngati akuganiza za kukwatirana ndipo akupewa khalidwe lonyansa. (Agalatiya 5:19-21) Chidwi cha mtundu umenewu chingakhalepo panthaŵi ya kutomerana pamene zakuti nkukwatirana zingakhale zidakali kutali kwambiri. Izi sizoipa ngati ali nzolinga zabwino. Khalidwe limeneli sindiko kuseŵeretsana tikunena pano.

Komabe bwanji ngati anthu aŵiri osakwatirana akumasonyezana kuti amakondana chabe kungoti azisangalatsana? Zingaoneke ngati kuti sizoipa, chifukwa ngosakwatira. Komabe, talingalirani kukhumudwitsidwa komwe kungakhalepo. Ngati maseŵeraŵa aposa mmene mumafunira, zotsatira zake zikhoza kukhala zoŵaŵa kwambiri ndipo zotayitsa mtima. Mawu a pa Miyambo 13:12 ndi oona chotani nanga: “Chiyembekezo chozengereza chidwalitsa mtima; koma pakufika chifunirocho ndicho mtengo wa moyo.” Ngakhale ngati aŵiriwo angamanene kuti akuzindikira zomwe akuchita, kuti palibe wa iwo ali ndi chidwi chopambanitsa mwa mnzakeyo—kodi alipo mwa aŵiriwo amene angadziŵedi zomwe mnzakeyo akuganiza pansi pamtima? Baibulo limayankha kuti: “Mtima ndiwo wonyenga koposa, ndi wosachiritsika, ndani angathe kuudziŵa?”—Yeremiya 17:9; yerekezerani ndi Afilipi 2:4.

Ndiponso talingalirani za ngozi yochita chisembwere, kuwonjezerapo zomwe zingatsatirepo monga matenda mwina mimba yosaifuna. Malemba amakana chisembwere, ndipo amene amachichita mwadala amaleka kuyanjidwa ndi Mulungu. Mtumwi Paulo anachenjeza Akristu kuti, kuti apewe chiyeso, ayenera ‘kufetsa ziwalozo’ ponena za “dama [“chisembwere,” NW]” ndipo ayenera kupewa “chilakolako chonyansa,” chimene chimapangitsa chisembwere. (Akolose 3:5; 1 Atesalonika 4:3-5) Pa Aefeso 5:3, amatilangiza kuti chisembwere ‘chisatchulidwe ndi kutchulidwa komwe,’ mwanjira yakuti chingadzetse chilakolako choipa. Kuseŵera kokopana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi sikugwirizana ndi uphungu umenewu. Mulungu amaletsa ngakhale kukambitsirana kosayenera za kugonana.

Mapulinsipulo a Baibulo amasonyeza kuti kuseŵera kokopana kwa amuna ndi akazi kungakhale kuchitira anthu ena nkhanza ndiponso kupanda ulemu kwa Yehova, Woyambitsa ukwati. Lingaliro la Baibulo pa kuseŵera kwa amuna ndi akazi kosayenera ndi lachikondi ndi lanzeru, popeza limatetezera anthu ku ngozi. Choncho anthu okonda Mulungu adzapewa kuseŵera kosayenera ndi amuna kapena akazi ndipo adzakhala nawo mwachiyero ndi mwaulemu.—1 Timoteo 2:9, 10; 5:1, 2.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu a Chithunzi patsamba 16]

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