Kusamalira Okalamba Zitokoso ndi Mfupo

SHINETSU, minisitala Wachikristu, anali kukondwera kwambiri ndi gawo lake. Banja lake la anthu atatu linaphatikizapo amayi a mkazi wake. Iwo anali kugwira ntchito mwachimwemwe ndi mpingo waung’ono wa Mboni za Yehova, kuphunzitsa anthu Baibulo, kufikira tsiku lina pamene iye anapemphedwa kulingalira za kuyendayenda ndi mkazi wake kuchezetsa mipingo ina. Kukafunikiritsa kuti asamuke mlungu uliwonse. Iye anakondwera ndi chiyembekezocho, koma kodi ndani amene akasamalira Amayi a mkazi wake?

Mabanja ambiri m’kupita kwanthaŵi adzayang’anizana ndi chitokoso chofanana​—mmene angasamalire bwino koposa makolo awo okalamba. Kaŵirikaŵiri nkhaniyo simalingaliridwa kwambiri pamene makolo ali ndi thanzi labwino ndipo akugwira ntchito. Komabe, zinthu zazing’ono zingavumbule kuti iwo akukalamba, monga ngati kunjenjemera manja pamene akuyesa kuloŵetsa ulusi m’nsingano kapena kuiŵalaiŵala pamene akuvutikira kuyesa kukumbukira pamene anawona kanthu kamene kusoŵa. Komabe, kaŵirikaŵiri, iri ngozi yamwadzidzidzi kapena kudwala zimene zimapangitsa kuzindikira zosowa zawo. Kanthu kena kayenera kuchitidwa.

M’maiko ena makolo okhala ndi thanzi labwinopo amasankha kukhala okha ndi anzawo amuukwati m’zaka zaukalamba wawo m’malo mwakukhala ndi ana awo. M’maiko ena, monga maiko ambiri Akummaŵa ndi mu Afirika, kuli kozoloŵereka kuti okalamba akhale ndi ana awo, makamaka mwana wamwamuna wamkulu koposa onse. Makamaka izi ziri choncho ngati mmodzi wa makolo ali chidwalire pakama. Mwachitsanzo, ku Japani, mwa okhala ndi zaka 65 zakubadwa ndi kupitirirapo ndi okhala chidwalire pakama kumlingo wakutiwakuti, pafupifupi 240,000 amasamaliridwa panyumba ndi mabanja awo.

Mathayo amakhalidwe ndi Amalemba

Ngakhale kuti tikukhala ndi moyo mu mbadwo umene ambiri akhala “odzikonda okha,” opanda “chikondi chachibadidwe,” ife mwachiwonekere tiri ndi mathayo amakhalidwe ndi Amalemba kulinga kwa okalamba (2 Timoteo 3:1-5) Tomiko, amene akusamalira amake okalamba, okanthidwa ndi nthenda yotchedwa Parkinson, yowononga misempha, analankhula zathayo lamakhalidwe limene analingalira kuti anali nalo pamene analankhula za amake kuti: “Iwo anandisamalira kwa zaka 20. Tsopano ndifuna kuchita zofananazo kwa iwo.” Mfumu Solomo wanzeru analangiza kuti: “Tamvera atate wako anakubala, Usapeputse amako atakalamba.”​—Miyambo 23:22.

Tsankho lachipembedzo kapena chidani chochitidwa ndi kholo losakhulupirira sizimafafaniza chilangizo cha M’malemba chimenecho. Mtumwi Wachikristu Paulo anauziridwa kulemba kuti: “Koma ngati wina sadzisungiratu mbumba yake ya iye yekha, makamaka iwo a m’banja lake, wakana chikhulupiriro iye, ndipo aipa koposa wosakhulupira.” (1 Timoteo 5:8) Yesu anapereka chitsanzo kwa ife pamene, monga chimodzi cha zochita zake zotsirizira asanafe, anachitira makonzedwe amake kuti asamaliridwe​—Yohane 19:26, 27.

Kusamalira Mavuto Obukapo

Masinthidwe amafunikira kupangidwa ndi onse pamene mabanja akhalanso pamodzi pambuyo pakukhala olekana kwa zaka zambiri. Masinthidwe amenewa amafunikiritsa chikondi chachikulu, kuleza mtima, ndi kumvana. Ngati mwana wamwamuna wamkulu koposayo, kapena mwana wina wamwamuna kapena wamkazi, asamutsira banja lake m’nyumba ya makolo, pamakhala mikhalidwe yatsopano kotheratu. Pangakhale ntchito yatsopano, masukulu atsopano a ana, ndi anansi atsopano ofunika kuzoloŵerana nawo. Kaŵirikaŵiri kumaphatikizapo ntchito zowonjezereka kwa mkaziyo.

Kudzakhala kovuta mofanana kwa makolowo kusintha. Iwo angakhale atazoloŵera kukhala okha, mkhalidwe wachete, ndi ufulu; tsopano adzakhala ndi adzukulu ndi mabwenzi awo ochita phokoso ndi okangalika. Iwo azoloŵera kupanga zosankha za iwo eni ndipo angakwiye ndi zoyesayesa zirizonse za kuwapatsa malangizo. Makolo ambiri, powoneratu nthaŵi pamene mabanja a ana awo aamuna adzadza kuzakhala nawo, amanga nyumba zolekana pafupipo kapena kuwonjezera nyumbazo ndi malikole ogwirizanitsa, akumapereka mlingo wakutiwakuti woti aliyense adzichitire zinthu.

Kumene nyumba iri yaying’ono, masinthidwe okulirapo angakhale ofunika kupezera malo alendo atsopano. Nakubala wina anaseka pamene anakumbukira mmene ana ake a akazi anayi analiri okwiya pamene mipando yowonjezereka ndi zinthu zina zinapitirizabe kuloŵetsedwa m’zipinda zawo zogona kuti apereke mpata wa agogo awo azaka 80 zakubadwa. Komabe, kaŵirikaŵiri ambiri amavuto amenewa amatha okha pamene onse azindikira kufunika kwakupanga masinthidwe ndi kukumbukira chilangizo cha Baibulo chakuti chikondi ‘sichimayang’ana zabwino za icho chokha.’​—1 Akorinto 13:5.

Kutayika kwa Ufulu

Vuto lalikulu la mkazi Wachikristu lingabuke ngati mwamuna wake sali ndi chikhulupiriro chofanana ndi chake ndipo asankha kusamutsira banjalo m’nyumba ya makolo ake a mwamunayo. Zofunika zakusamalira banja zingawonekere kukhala zikukupangitsa kukhala pafupifupi kosatheka kwa iye kulinganiza mathayo Achikristu ndi mathayo ena. Setsuko anati: “Mwamuna wanga analingalira kuti kunali kwaupandu kusiya amake okalambawo panyumba ali okha, ndipo anafuna kuti ine ndidzikhala panyumba nthaŵi zonse. Ngati ndinayesa kupita kumsonkhano, ankakwiya ndi kudandaula. Poyamba, chifukwa cha chiyambi changa cha Chijapani, inenso ndinalingalira kuti kunali kulakwa kuwasiya okha. Komano, m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, ndinazindikira kuti vutolo likakhoza kuthetsedwa.”

Hisako anali ndi vuto lofananalo. “Pamene tinasamukira m’nyumba ya banja la mwamuna wanga,” iye akusimba, “mwamuna wanga, chifukwa cha kuopa zimene achibale ake akaganiza, anafuna kuti ndisinthe chipembedzo changa ndi kusiya zochita zanga za chipembedzo. Kupangitsa mkhalidwewo kukhala woipirapo, pa Masande achibale amene anali kukhala chapafupi ankabwera kudzacheza, akumakupangitsa kukhala kovuta kwa ine kupita kumisonkhano. Ndiponso, ana anafuna kuseŵera ndi asuwani awo mmalo mwa kupita kumisonkhano. Ndinakhoza kuwona kuti mkhalidwe wathu wauzimu unali kuyambukiridwa. Ndinafunikira kuima nji ndi kufotokozera mwamuna wanga kuti chipembedzo changa sichinali kanthu kena koti nkusinthidwa mofanana ndi zovala za suti koma chinali chofunika kwa ine. M’kupita kwanthaŵi, banjalo linapanga masinthidwe.”

Ena athetsa vuto lakupeza nthaŵi yowonjezereka yaufulu mwakukhala ndi wosunga panyumba waganyu wolembedwa kudzathandiza tsiku limodzi kapena aŵiri pamlungu. Ena apeza mlingo waung’ono waufulu wochita ntchito zawo zapanyumba ndi ntchito Yachikristu mwakufunafuna chithandizo cha ana awo, achibale apafupi, ngakhale mabwenzi mu mpingo. Nawonso amuna akhala okhoza kupereka chithandizo pamadzulo ndi pakutha pamlungu pamene iwo ali panyumba.​—Mlaliki 4:9.

Kuwasunga Ali Otanganitsidwa

Kusunga okalamba ali otanganitsidwa ndiko chitokoso china chakuyang’anizana nacho. Okalamba ena ngachimwemwe kutenga mbali m’kuphika ndi ntchito zina zapanyumba. Amamva kukhala okondedwa ngati apemphedwa kuyang’anira ana ndipo amapeza chikhutiro m’kusamalira dimba laling’ono landiwo, la maluŵa, kapena kukhala ndi phande m’chochitika chirichonse chimene iwo akonda.

Komabe, ena amafuna kugona mbali yaikulu ya tsikulo ndi kuyembekezera kumatumikiridwa. Koma kuwatanganitsa monga momwe kungathekere kukuwonekera kukhala chinthu chofunika kuthanzi lawo, kumoyo wotalikirapo, ndi kugalamuka maganizo. Hideko anapeza kuti ngakhale kuti amake anali pampando wamagudumu, kuwatengera kumisonkhano kunali chitsitsimulo chenichenicho chimene amakewo anafunikira. Iwo analandiridwa mwaubwenzi ndi onse ndipo anaphatikizidwa m’kukambitsiranako. Chisamaliro choperekedwa kwa iwo potsirizira pake chinachititsa kulola phunziro la Baibulo ndi mlongo wina wokalamba. Aŵiri okwatirana, amene ali ndi kholo lodwala nthenda yotchedwa Alzheimer, ya kunyonyosoka kwa misempha kochititsa ukalamba, amapita nalo kumisonkhano yawo Yachikristu. “Kaŵirikaŵiri iwo samafuna kuchita chirichonse,” iwo akutero, “koma amakondwera pamisonkhano. Iwo amalandiridwa mwaubwenzi, chotero amadza mofunitsitsa. Tilingalira kuti kuli kopindulitsa kwambiri kwa iwo.”

Shinetsu, wotchulidwa pachiyambi pankhani ino, anathetsa vuto lake mwakupezera amayi a mkazi wake malo apakati m’chigawo chimene anatumikirako monga minisitala woyendayenda. Chotero iye ndi mkazi wake anali kumawachezera asanakachezetse mpingo wina mlungu uli wonse. Mkazi wake, Kyoko, anati: “Amayi amalingalira kuti iwo ali mbali yofunika kwambiri yantchito yathu ndipo amadziwona kukhala wofunika. Amasangalala pamene mwamuna wanga awapempha kuphika chakudya chapadera.”

Kusamalira Ukalamba

Pamene makolo akumka nakalamba, mikhalidwe yosiyasiyana yaukalamba ingabuke, chotero afunikira chisamaliro chowonjezerekawonjezereka. Amaiŵala masiku, nthaŵi, nyengo, ndi malonjezo. Iwo angalephere kumeta tsitsi ndi kuchapa zovala. Iwo angaiŵale ngakhale kudziveka ndi kudzisambika. Ambiri amakhala osokonezeka maganizo, pamene ena akhala ndi vuto lakusagona pausiku. Pamakhala chikhoterero chakubwereza zinthu zimene anena kale ndi kukwiya ngati awuzidwa kuti amatero. Maganizo amawanyenga ndi kuwasokoneza. Iwo angawumirire kunena kuti kanthu kena kabedwa kwa iwo kapena kuti mbala zikuyesa kuswa nyumba kuti zibe. Banja lina lokhala ndi ana aakazi anayi linafunikira kupirira zinenezo zosalekeza zopanda maziko zacholakwa chakugonana. “Kunali kosatheka,” iwo anatero, “koma tinangophunzira kupirira zinenezozo ndi kuyesa kusintha nkhaniyo. Kukangana ndi Agogo kunali kosaphula kanthu.”​—Miyambo 17:27.

Zofunika za Maganizo Zoyenera Kukwaniritsidwa

Kukalamba kumabweretsa ziyeso kwa okalamba. Pali utenda womvetsa chisoni, kusakhozanso kuyendayenda, ndi vuto lamaganizo zofunikira kuzipirira. Ambiri amalingalira kuti miyoyo yawo ilibe cholinga kapena chifuno. Iwo angalingalire kuti ali chothodwetsa ndipo angasonyeze chikhumbo chakufuna kufa. Afunikira kumva kukhala okondedwa, olemekezedwa, ndi osanyanyalidwa. (Levitiko 19:32) Hisako anati: “Ife nthaŵi zonse timayesa kuphatikiza Amayi m’kukambitsirana kwathu pamene alipo, tikumalankhula za iwo pamene kunali kotheka.” Banja lina linapanga kuyesayesa kulimbikitsa kulemekezeka kwa agogo awo amuna mwakuwapempha kuchititsa makambitsirano atsiku ndi tsiku alemba la Baibulo.

Munthuwe uyenera nthaŵi zonse kuyesayesa kusunga lingaliro loyenera kwa okalamba. Odwala okhala chigonere pakama amakwiya pamene akulingalira kuti akululuzidwa kapena kuchitiridwa mosalemekeza. “Amayi anali ogalamuka,” anafotokoza motero Kimiko, amene anali kukhala ndi apongozi ake opunduka, “ndipo anadziŵa pamene mtima wanga sunali pakuwadyetsa kapena ndinali kudzitamandira.” Hideko anafunikiranso kuwongolera kaimidwe kake kamaganizo. “Poyamba ndinagwiritsidwa mwala pamene ndinafunikira kusamalira apongozi anga. Ndinali mpainiya [minisitala wanthaŵi yonse wa Mboni za Yehova], ndipo ndinaphonya uminisitalawo. Pamenepo ndinawona kuti ndinafunikira kusintha maganizo anga. Ngakhale kuti uminisitala wakunyumba ndi nyumba ngwofunika, iyinso inali mbali yofunika yakulabadira malamulo a Mulungu. (1 Timoteo 5:8) Ndinazindikira kuti ndinafunikira kukulitsa chikondi ndi kudera nkhaŵa koposerapo ngati ndinali kudzakhala wachimwemwe. Chikumbumtima changa chinali kundivutitsa pamene ndinangochita zinthu kuti zindichoke. Pamene ndinaloŵa m’ngozi ndipo ndinali kumva ululu, ndinaganiza za apongozi anga ndi ululu umene anali kumva. Pambuyo pa zimenezo kunali kosavutirapo kwa ine kusonyeza ubwenzi woposerapo ndi kumvera chisoni.”

Osamalira Afunikiranso Chisamaliro

Chosafunikira kunyalanyazidwa ndicho kufunika kwa kusonyeza chiyamikiro kwa munthu amene kwakukulukulu ali ndi thayo lakusamalira okalamba. (Yerekezerani ndi Miyambo 31:28.) Akazi ochuluka koposa amapitirizabe kusenza mathayo awo mosasamala kanthu kuti akumva mawu achiyamikiro kapena sakutero. Komabe, pamene tilingalira zimene ntchito yawo imaphatikizapo, ndithudi mawu otero ngoyenerera. Iwo mwachiwonekere adzakhala ndi ntchito yowonjezereka ya kusesa, yakuchapa, ndi yakuphika. Ndiponso, talingalirani maulendo omka ku chipatala kapena kwa dokotola, kuphatikizapo kudyetsa kapena kuchapira wodwala wokalambayo. Mkazi wina, amene anasamalira apongozi ake kwanthaŵi yaitali anati: “Ndidziŵa kuti nkovuta kwa mwamuna wanga kuti anene mwa mawu chiyamikirocho, koma amandisonyeza mwanjira zina kuti akuyamikira zimene ndikuchita.” Mawu wamba othokoza angapangitse zonse kuwonekera kukhala zoyenera.​—Miyambo 25:11.

Palinso Mfupo

Mabanja ambiri amene asamalira makolo okalamba kwa zaka zambiri akunena kuti kutero kwawathandiza kukulitsa mikhalidwe yofunika Yachikristu: kupirira, kudzimana, chikondi chopanda mpeni kumphasa, changu, kudzichepetsa, ndi kukoma mtima. Mabanja ambiri akhala ogwirizana pamodzi mwamaganizo. Chiwongola dzanja chowonjezereka ndicho mwaŵi wakukambitsirana ndi makolo ndi kuwadziwa bwinopo. Hisako anati ponena za apongozi ake aakazi: “Anali ndi moyo wokondweretsa. Anapirira zambiri. Ndafikira pakuŵadziwa bwinopo ndipo ndaphunzira mikhalidwe imene ali nayo yomwe poyamba sindinazindikire.”

“Panali nthaŵi ndisanayambe kuphunzira Baibulo pamene ndinafuna kupeza chisudzulo kuti ndiwonjoke mu mkhalidwewo,” anafotokoza motero Kimiko, amene anasamalira makolo a mwamuna wake ndi agogo aakazi a mwamunayo okhala chigonere pa kama. “Ndiyeno ndinaŵerenga kuti tiyenera ‘kusamalira akazi amasiye m’nsautso yawo.’” (Yakobo 1:27) Ndiri wachimwemwe kuti ndinachita zothekera, popeza kuti tsopano palibe aliyense wa m’banjamo angakhale ndi chifukwa choyenerera chakudandaula ponena za zikhulupiriro zanga. Chikumbumtima changa chiri choyera.” Mwamuna wina anati: “Ndawona ndi maso anga ziyambukiro zovutitsa maganizo za tchimo la Adamu ndipo tsopano ndikuzindikiradi koposerapo kufunika kwa dipo.”

Kodi inu posachedwapa, mudzalandira chiwalo china cha banja lanu m’banja lanulo? Kapena kodi mwina mwake mudzasamukira kwa makolo anu okalambawo? Kodi mukuchita mantha? Kutero nkoyembekezereka. Padzakhala masinthidwe akuwapanga. Koma mudzapeza kuti muli wofupidwa molemerera mutapambana chitokosocho.

[Chithunzi patsamba 24]

Okalamba afunikira kumva kuti ali okondedwa ndi olemekezedwa