Achichepere Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kodi Nchifukwa Ninji Ndimadzimva Wopanda Chisungiko Motero?

“Pamene ndiri pakati pa anthu, nthaŵi zonse ndimadera nkhaŵa ponena za mmene ndikuwonekera, zimene ndikulankhula, mmene ndikuchitira, ndi zimene munthu winayo akundiganizira. Nthaŵi zonse ndimakhala wopanda chisungiko.”—Angelica wazaka khumi mphambu zisanu ndi ziŵiri zakubadwa.

KODI mantha a kulephera amakulepheretsani kuchita zinthu zimene mungafunedi kuchita? Kodi mumachitira nsanje zipambano za ena? Kodi mumadera nkhaŵa kwambiri ponena za zimene ena amakuganizirani? Kodi mumachita mantha kukumana ndi anthu achilendo? Kodi mumakhwethemulidwa pamene musulizidwa? Pamenepo mwinamwake nanunso mukuvutika ndi zowawitsa za kupanda chisungiko. Koma kodi kudzimva koteroko kumachokera kuti? Kodi mungakugonjetse motani?

Wachichepere Ndipo Wowopsyezedwa

Choyamba, zindikirani kuti kudzimva wopanda chisungiko nkwa dziko lonse. Tonsefe tinabadwa opanda ungwiro ndipo motero tiri okhoterera kudzimva osakwanira kapenadi opanda pake nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi. (Yakobo 3:2; yerekezerani ndi Aroma 7:21-24.) Kuwonjezera pa zimenezo, ndinu wachichepere ndipo wosazoloŵera. Nkwachibadwa kwa inu kudzimva wotekeseka m’mikhalidwe yachilendo kapena pamene mwafunsidwa kuchita chinachake chachilendo kotheratu kwa inu.

Mwachitsanzo, Baibulo limatiuza ponena za mwamuna wachichepere Yeremiya pamene anaikidwa kukhala mneneri wa Mulungu. Ngakhale kuti mwachiwonekere anali kumapeto kwa zaka zake za m’ma 20, Yeremiya anadzimva kukhala wopanda chisungiko ponena za luso lake kuti achite gawo la ntchito limeneli, akumadzikhululukira yekha mwakumati, “Ndiri mwana.” (Yeremiya 1:6) Mwachiwonekere, mwamuna wachichepere Timoteo nayenso anadzimva wosakwanira. Mtumwi Paulo anafunikira kumpatsa uphungu wachindunji kumthandiza kugonjetsa kupanda chisungiko kwake.—1 Timoteo 4:11-16; 2 Timoteo 1:6, 7.

Bukhu lakuti Talking With Your Teenager limanena kuti achichepere “ali, mwakuwalongosola, mumkhalidwe wowopsyezedwa kweniweni. . . . Iwo ali ndi nkhaŵa za mmene amawonekera, zimene anena, kaya ngati ali otchuka, kapena okondeka. . . . Iwo amadzizindikira ndipo amachititsidwa manyazi mosavuta kapena kunyazitsidwa.” Kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala ndi “lingaliro lokaikira kwambiri za amene ali.” Kodi nchifukwa ninji ziri tero?

Chifukwa chimodzi nchakuti achichepere ali pakati pa nyengo ya kukula ndi kusintha kwakuthupi. Dr. Betty B. Youngs akulongosola kuti “kusintha kumeneku, kumene kuli kosalamulirika [ndi wachichepere], kuli kwakukulu, kolamula, ndipo kochititsa mantha . . . [Wa]zaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19 sangawone kuwala kokhala kumapeto kwa njirayo ndipo sadziŵa chimene chidzamchitikira potsatira. Mwachibadwa, kupanda ulamuliro kumeneku kumachititsa kupanda chisungiko ndi kupsyinjika.”

Chisonkhezero cha Mabwenzi ndi Banja

Chochititsa china ndicho mkhalidwe wapanyumba panu. Moyenerera, banja limatumikira monga magwero a chitsogozo chauzimu ndi chilikizo la malingaliro. (Aefeso 6:1-4) Baibulo limalamuladi makolo kuti: “Atate inu, musaputa ana anu, kuti angataye mtima.”—Akolose 3:21.

Mwatsoka, makolo ena amaputa ana awo mwa kuwaika pansi pa kusuliza kosatha, akumawamana chiyamikiro chofunikira ndi chikondi. Katswiri wazamaganizo Eleanor S. Field akulongosola kuti: “Kusuliza kwa makolo kaŵirikaŵiri kungatsogolere ku kupanda chisungiko kozama. . . . Ndipo ngati mukulandirabe ndemanga [zoipa] monga wazaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19, zimenezi zidzangokulitsa malingaliro anu a kupanda chisungiko.”

Mabwenzi anu nawonso angadodometse chidaliro chanu chaumwini mwakumakusekani nthaŵi zonse kapena kusuliza mawonekedwe anu kapena njira imene mumachitira zinthu. Inu makamaka muli wounikiridwa ku kusuliza koteroko ngati mumvera lamulo la Yesu la kusakhala “a dziko lapansi.” (Yohane 17:16) “Nzokhumudwitsa!” analongosola tero Andrew wazaka 15 zakubadwa. “Ukuyesera kuyenerera, komabe ukuyesera kusayenerera. Sufuna kukhala wokanidwa, komabe ukuyesera kumamatira ku makhalidwe abwino a Baibulo.” Msungwana wazaka 15 zakubadwa anawonjezera kuti: “Nzovuta chifukwa chakuti sukufuna kuti achichepere ena aziti ndiwe bulutu. Aliyense amafuna kuti anthu amkonde.” Kusunga kukhazikika koyenera kungakhale kovutadi. Kungakusiyeni mukudzimva wopanda chisungiko.

Ngakhale kuli tero, nthaŵi zina malingaliro akudzimva wopanda chisungiko amakhala odzichititsira. Wazaka 17 zakubadwa wina anaulula kuti, “Pamene ndiri pakati pa anthu ena, ndimadzimva kusakhala kanthu chifukwa chakuti sindimadziŵa kuchita bwino chirichonse. Motero ndimangokhala wopanda chisungiko kwambiri.” Malingaliro oterowo angakhale chotulukapo cha kudziyerekezera inu mwini mosayenera ndi anthu ena.

Kulimbana ndi Malingaliro a Kupanda Chisungiko

Ngakhale kuti chochititsa chikhale chotani, malingaliro a kupanda chisungiko ali kokha mbali ya kukula ndipo mwina sangatheretu.a Nkhaŵa yosayenerera ya mawonekedwe, mkhalidwe, kapena maluso ingapitirize kugwedeza chidaliro cha wina ngakhale pamene wakhala wachikulire.

Achichepere ambiri amayesa kuphimba kupanda chidaliro chaumwini kwawo ndi zochita zachinyengo, ndi mavalidwe odziwonetsera, kapena ndi chipanduko. Koma pali njira zabwinopo kwambiri za kuchita ndi nthaŵi zimenezo pamene mumadzimva wopanda chisungiko.

Zindikirani Mikhalidwe Yanu Yabwino: Inu mungakhale mulibe thupi loima bwino kapena mawonekedwe, koma mungakhale munakulitsa mikhalidwe Yachikristu ya “chikondi, chimwemwe, mtendere, kuleza mtima, chifundo, kukoma mtima, chikhulupiriro, chifatso, chiletso.” (Agalatiya 5:22, 23) Mikhalidwe imeneyi njamtengo wapatali kosatha kuposa mikhalidwe yakuthupi iriyonse ndipo ingakuthandizenidi kupeza chivomerezo cha Mulungu.

Peŵani Kuyerekezera Kosayenera: Monga mmene Eleanor Roosevelt, mkazi wa prezidenti wa United States wa 32, ananenera kuti: “Palibe amene angakupangitseni kudzimva wochepa popanda inu kudziŵa.” Motero Agalatiya 6:4 akupereka chilangizo chabwino, kumati: “Yense ayesere ntchito yake ya iye yekha, ndipo pamenepo adzakhala nako kudzitamandira chifukwa cha iye yekha, si chifukwa cha wina.”

Kodi nsonga yakuti winawake akuwoneka bwinopo, ali ndi zovala zabwinopo, kapena ali wokongola kuposa inu imamupangitsa kukhala munthu wabwinopo kuposa inu? Chowonadi nchakuti, mawonekedwe akunja sali kanthu kwa Mulungu. Baibulo limanena kuti: “Pakuti Yehova sawona monga awona munthu; pakuti munthu ayang’ana chowoneka ndi maso, koma Yehova ayang’ana mumtima.”—1 Samueli 16:7.

Pewani Msampha wa Nsanje: “Nsanje ivunditsa mafupa,” ndipo imabala kupanda chisungiko. (Miyambo 14:30) Mmalo mwake, phunzirani ‘kukondwera nawo iwo akukondwera’ ndipo khalani achimwemwe chenicheni pa zipambano zawo. (Aroma 12:15) Ngati mutero, ena sadzakhala okhoterera kwenikweni kupanga ndemanga zoipa ponena za zipambano zanu.

Khalani Osamala za Anthu Ena: Dr. Allan Fromme analongosola kuti “anthu amene ali ndi chithunzi chabwino cha iwo okha amasangalala ndi mtundu winawake wa mtendere, chifukwa chakuti amasumika chisamaliro mwa ena . . . Anthu okhala ndi lingaliro loipa ponena za iwo eni ali akaidi a iwo okha. Iwo ali otsekeredwa m’kudzizindikira kwa iwo okha kopitirizabe.” Thaŵani m’ndendemo mwa ‘kumayang’anitsitsa osati mokondwera ndi zinthu zanu zokha, komanso mokondwera ndi zija za ena.’ (Afilipi 2:4, NW) Ukulu wa chisamaliro chanu mwa ena, ndiwo udzakhalanso ukulu wa kuchepa kwa nkhaŵa yanu ponena za kudzimva kwanu wopanda chisungiko.

Tengani Kusulizidwa Modekha: “Mawu onsetu onenedwa usawalabadire,” makamaka pamene akungokugwetsani. (Mlaliki 7:21) Ku mbali ina, ngati kusulizako kuli koyenera, pezani njira zokugwiritsirira ntchito. “Wanzeru amve, nawonjezere kuphunzira . . . Opusa anyoza nzeru ndi mwambo.” (Miyambo 1:5, 7) Inu mungaphophonye m’mbali imodzi, koma zimenezo sizimakupangani konse kukhala wolephera monga munthu.

Ngakhale ndi tero, kodi bwanji ngati kusulizako kuchokera kwa makolo anu? Ndi ntchito ya makolo kulangiza ana awo. (Aefeso 6:4) Ngati muganiza kuti nkopambanitsa, nkosalungama, kapena konyazitsa, mwinamwake mungasankhe mphindi yabwino kukambitsirana nkhanizo ndi makolo anu ndi kulola kuti adziŵe mmene mawu awo akukuyambukirani.

Khazikitsani Zonulirapo Zenizeni: Simufunikira kukhala wopambana onse m’kalasi kuti mukhale wophunzira wabwino kapena wothamanga wa Olympic kuti musangalale ndi maseŵera. “Nzeru iri ndi odzichepetsa,” ndipo kudzichepetsa kumayendera limodzi ndi kudziŵa malire a munthuwe. (Miyambo 11:2) Komabe, musaike zonulirapo zanu motsika kopambanitsa chifukwa cha kuwopa kulephera. Kulephera kungatumikire monga njira yophunzirira. Ndiiko komwe, mumaphunzira kuyenda mwakugonjetsa chizoloŵezi cha kugwaigwa!

Musawope Kukhala Wosiyana: Achichepere amene amalola mabwenzi kulamulira kalankhulidwe kawo, kavalidwe, ndi kapesedwe ali kwenikwenidi ngati akapolo. (Aroma 6:16) Mmalo mwake, “tumikirani [Yehova, NW].” (Aroma 12:11) Ngati musekedwa pochita cholondola, pezani chitonthozo m’kudziŵa kuti machitidwe anu olimba mtima amakondweretsa mtima wa Mulungu.—Miyambo 27:11.

Mosakaikira, malingaliro ameneŵa adzathandiza. Koma musayembekezere mkhalidwe wachisungiko kuchitika tsiku limodzi. Lezani mtima. Yembekezerani zokhumudwitsa, ndipo yeserani kusadziloŵetsa m’kudzimverera chisoni. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi mudzadzimva kuti mukukhala wachisungiko mowonjezereka kuposa ndi kale lonse.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 18]

Makolo angapangitse kupanda chisungiko mwakumana chitamando ndi mwakukhala osuliza mopambanitsa