Makolo, Phunzitsani Ana Anu Mowafika Pamtima—Gawo 1
1, 2. Kodi makolo achikhristu amayesetsa kuchita chiyani, ndipo kodi bambo wina ananena chiyani? (b) Pophunzitsa mwana, kodi cholinga chiyenera kukhala chiyani, ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani?
1 Makolo Achikhristu amayesetsa kuteteza ana awo kumakhalidwe oipa. Ngati inunso ndinu kholo, sitikukayika kuti muli ndi mantha ngati amene bambo wina wachikhristu, wa ana anayi achinyamata, anali nawo. Iye anati: “Makhalidwe amene ana akukumana nawo masiku ano akuipiraipira, ndipo nthawi zina n’zovuta kudziwa makhalidwe atsopano amene ayamba padzikoli. Nthawi zonse pemphero langa ndi lakuti ndikwanitse kuthandiza anawa. Ndimawakonda kwambiri.”
2 Nanga zimatheka bwanji nthawi zina kuti mwana amene timapita naye kumisonkhano yachikhristu, amenenso timam’phunzitsa makhalidwe a m’Baibulo, apezeke kuti wachitabe zachiwerewere? Ngakhale kuti kungophunzitsa mwana kuti adziwe zinthu n’kofunika, chofunika kwambiri ndicho kum’fika pamtima makamaka pankhani ya makhalidwe. Kodi makolo angachite chiyani kuti aphunzitse mwana wawo mom’fika pamtima kuti ‘akhale wanzeru’?—Miy. 4:23; 23:15.
3. Kodi lemba la Miyambo 20:5 limatanthauza chiyani, ndipo zimenezi zimafuna kuti makolo azichita chiyani?
3 Zindikirani za Mumtima: Kuti tim’fike pamtima mwana wathu, choyamba tiyenera kudziwa zimene zili mu mtima mwake. “Uphungu [mawu a Chiheberi omasuliridwa kuti “uphungu” pano amatanthauza cholinga kapena maganizo] wa m’mtima mwa munthu ndiwo madzi akuya; koma munthu wozindikira adzatungapo.” (Miy. 20:5) Maganizo enieni a mumtima mwa mwana ali ngati madzi pansi pa chitsime chakuya kwambiri. M’nthawi za m’Baibulo, zitsime zina zinali zakuya mamita oposa 30, moti zinkakhala ndi masitepe oloweramo. Munthu akafuna ‘kukatunga’ madzi ankafunika kutsika ndi kukwera masitepewo. Inali ntchito yaikulu kwambiri. ‘Kutunga’ maganizo a mwana wathu, titero kunena kwake, kungakhalenso kovuta mofananamo. Kuti tichite zimenezi tiyenera kukhala womvetsa ndiponso watcheru. Nthawi zina tingafunike kufunsa mafunso mwaluso ndi kukhala woleza mtima. Zimenezi zingafune kulankhula ndi mwana wathu kwa nthawi yaitali kuti tidziwe maganizo ake enieni. Mwanayo angamasuke ngati timuuza kuti nafenso nthawi ina tinali mwana ngati iyeyo, ndi kuti ndife wopanda ungwiro. Angamasukenso ngati nthawi zina timakonza zoti tikhale naye patokha.—Yobu 33:5-7.
4. Malinga ndi Miyambo 12:18, kodi ndi kulankhula kotani kumene kungapangitse kuti anthu asamalankhulane bwino?
4 Komabe, kunena zinthu “mwansontho” kungakhale kovulaza. Ena amalankhula mwansontho “ngati kupyoza kwa lupanga.” Mawu awo amakhala opweteka ndipo amagawanitsa anthu. Choncho, tizimvetsera ‘mofatsa mtima.’ Mwina tingakumbukire nthawi ina imene munthu wina anatinyoza kapena kuseka maganizo athu. Mwinamwake ananena kuti, “Mukudziwa chiyani inu!” Kodi tinafunanso kumuuzako nkhani za kumtima kwathu munthu ameneyo?—Miy. 12:18; 17:27.
5. (a) Kodi wachinyamata amafunikira malangizo otani? (b) Kodi makolo ambiri amapereka chithandizo chimenechi kwa ana awo?
5 Mwana akamafika zaka za m’ma 13 mpaka 19, amayamba kukhala ndi chikhumbo champhamvu cha kugonana. Mwanayo amafunika kulankhula ndi munthu amene angathe kum’fotokozera zimene zikuchitika m’thupi mwake ndi kuyankha mafunso ake ambiri pankhani zimene zingakhale zochititsa manyazi. Koma kafukufuku wina yemwe anachitidwa pa makolo 1,400 omwe ali ndi ana achinyamata, anasonyeza kuti makolo 92 mwa 100 alionse sanakambiranepo ndi ana awowo nkhani zokhudza kugonana. Zimene zimalepheretsa makolo kuthandiza ana awo pankhani imeneyi ndi zinthu ngati mmene makolowo anakulira, miyambo ya mtundu wawo ndi maganizo oona kuti kukambirana nkhani imeneyi n’kosafunika. Zimenezi zikulepheretsanso ngakhale makolo ena achikhristu kuthandiza ana awo pankhani imeneyi. Koma kodi kukambirana nkhani imeneyi n’kofunika motani?
6, 7. Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani kuli kofunika kuti makolo azikambirana ndi ana awo nkhani zokhudza kugonana?
6 Mkulu wina wachikhristu atacheza ndi mabanja angapo, ananena kuti: “Zimene ndinapeza n’zosadabwitsa. Makolo amene anayamba pa nthawi yoyenera kukakambirana ndi ana awo nkhani zokhudza kugonana ndi kuyesetsa kulankhulana nawo pafupipafupi, zotsatira zake zinali zabwino. Koma makolo amene pazifukwa zawo anachedwa kuyamba kuthandiza anawo panthawi yake, zotsatira zake zinali zoipa.”
7 Kukambirana ndi ana nkhani imeneyi n’kopindulitsa kwambiri. Choyamba, kumateteza maganizo a mwanayo ku zinthu zabodza ndi zoipa zimene angadzamve m’tsogolo. Chachiwiri, kumathandiza mwanayo kulemekeza makolo ake ndi kuwadalira, ndiponso kudzawathandiza kukhazikitsa kulankhulana kwabwino pakati pawo kumene kudzapitirira ngakhale mwanayo atatha msinkhu. Chachitatu, kumathandiza kuti mwana wanu azitha kukufotokozerani nkhani zimene sangafotokozere wina aliyense. Komabe, makolo ambiri sadziwa mmene angayambire kukambirana ndi mwana wawo nkhani yooneka kukhala yochititsa manyazi imeneyi.
8. Kodi makolo ayenera kuyamba liti kukambirana ndi mwana wawo nkhani zokhudza kugonana?
8 Phunzitsani Mtima: Mwana amafunika kuyamba kumulangiza adakali wamng’ono. Ngakhale ana ena azaka 10 ndi 11 akhala akutenga mimba. Akatswiri ena amanena kuti ndi bwino kuti makolo aziyamba kukambirana ndi ana awo nkhani zakugonana anawo asanakwanitse zaka 6. Akawachedwera, zimakhala zovuta kuti adzayambe kukambirana nawo nkhanizo. Kwa mwana wamng’ono, kungoyankha mafunso ake momasuka ndi mwachidule n’kokwanira. Koma wachinyamata amafunikira kumulangiza bwinobwino mmene angachitire ndi chikhumbo chake cha kugonana. Kuti timufike pamtima, mwanayo ayenera kuona malangizowo monga chithandizo chachikondi, osati ngati kumudzudzula.
9. Kodi n’chiyani chimene makolo ayenera kuyesetsa kuika mu mtima mwa mwana wawo, ndipo chifukwa chiyani?
9 Yesu anati: “Munthu wabwino amatulutsa zabwino m’chuma chabwino cha mtima wake.” (Luka 6:45) Choncho, kuti tim’fike pamtima mwana wathu, tiyenera kubzala mu mtima zinthu zamtengo wapatali, zimene angadzayamikire kuti zinam’thandiza. Tikatero, tidzam’thandiza kuti mtima wake udzatulutse “zinthu zabwino.”—Mat. 12:34, 35.
10, 11. Kodi zitsanzo za m’buku la Miyambo zikutiphunzitsa chiyani za m’mene tingafikire mtima wa mwana wathu pokambirana naye za kugonana?
10 Mmene buku la Miyambo limaperekera malangizo pankhani yokhudza kugonana ndi chitsanzo chabwino kwambiri kwa makolo. Limafotokoza nkhanizo mosapita m’mbali koma mwaulemu. Taonani chitsanzo cha zimenezi m’chaputala 5 cha bukuli. M’chaputalachi, mlangizi kapena kholo likufotokoza momveka bwino mmene kugonana kulili chinthu chosangalatsa, koma likufotokoza makamaka kufunika kopewa chiwerewere. Milomo ya mkazi wachiwerewere ikuoneka ngati “ikukha uchi” pofuna kunyengerera mnyamata. Koma zotsatira zake n’zomvetsa chisoni kwambiri. ‘N’zowawa ngati chivumulo,’ ndiponso ‘n’zakuthwa ngati lupanga lakuthwa konsekonse.’ (Miy. 5:3, 4) Kenako mlangiziyu akukhudza mbali imene ingakhale yovuta kuifotokoza mwa kusonyeza mnyamatayo kuti angataye “ulemu” wake ngati angagonje ku zofuna za mkaziyo. (Miy. 5:9) Komatu sikuti nkhaniyi ikusonyeza kuti kugonana konse ndi tchimo. Mlangiziyu akusonyeza kuti kugonana ndi chinthu chosangalatsa kwambiri m’banja.—Miy. 5:15-19.
11 Kholo limeneli silikudzudzula kapena kunyoza mnyamatayo. M’chaputala 7 cha bukuli, khololi likufotokoza mosapsatira mawu zimene zinachitikira anthu ena. (Miy. 7:6, 7, 13, 17, 18) Mlangiziyu akupereka mafanizo osavuta kumvetsa. Mwachitsanzo, mwamuna wokopeka ndi mkazi wachiwerewere akumuyerekezera ndi ng’ombe yopita kokaphedwa, kenako ‘muvi ukupyoza mphafa yake.’ (Miy. 7:22, 23) N’zovuta kuti wachinyamata aiwale fanizo limeneli. Chenjezo lotereli likakhomerezedwa mu mtima mwa wachinyamata lingamuthandize kupewa ziyeso. Khololi silinangoti chiwerewere n’choipa, koma linanena chifukwa chake chilili choipa ndipo linafotokozanso zotsatirapo zake, komanso mmene wachinyamata angakopekere mosavuta kuti achite chiwerewere.
12, 13. (a) Kodi ndi mipata iti imene makolo angatengere mwayi wokambirana ndi ana awo nkhani zokhudza kugonana? (b) Kodi ndi nthawi ziti zimene inuyo mumapeza mpata wokambirana nkhani imeneyi? (c) Kuti mwana akhale wamakhalidwe abwino, kodi kungomuphunzitsa bwino n’kokwanira?
12 Makolo ambiri achikhristu akhalapo ndi mipata yokambirana nkhani imeneyi ndi ana awo. Iwo akambirana nawo nkhaniyi momasuka pamene akucheza nawo ndipo akhala akuchita zimenezi nthawi zambiri. Apeza mipata yokambirana nkhani imeneyi akapita kokawongola miyendo, pokambirana nkhani zina zokhudza makhalidwe abwino, pambuyo pophunzira nkhani yokhudza za kugonana kumpingo kapena pamene phunziro labanja likukhudza nkhani imeneyi. Ambiri agwiritsa ntchito buku lakuti Mafunso Achichepere Akufunsa—Mayankho Amene Amathandiza. Ngakhale kuti kukambirana nkhani zimenezi kunali kovuta nthawi zina, makolowo anakambiranabe ndi ana awo chifukwa chowakonda. Mayi wina wa ana asanu anati: “Ndinkadziumiriza kulankhula ndi ana anga nkhani imeneyi, moti m’kupita kwa nthawi tonse tinaleka kuchita nayo manyazi.” Musalole kuti ana anu adzagwe m’mavuto aakulu chifukwa ‘chosaphunzitsidwa zabwino’ pankhani yofunika kwambiri imeneyi.—Miy. 4:2.
13 Komabe, ngakhale mutam’phunzitsa bwino chotani mwana wanu, utsiru umakhalabe wozika mizu mu mtima mwake chifukwa cha uchimo wochokera kwa Adamu. (Sal. 51:5) Gawo lachiwiri la nkhani ino, lidzafotokoza mmene kulanga mwana kungachotsere utsiru mumtima mwake.