Mutu 3

Kodi Ndingatani Kuti Makolo Anga Azindilolako Kuchita Zinthu Zina?

“Ndimalakalaka makolo anga akanamandilolako kupita malo ena ndi ena kukacheza.”​—Anatero Sarah, wazaka 18.

“Nthawi zonse ndimafunsa makolo anga kuti n’chifukwa chiyani sandilola kukacheza ndi anzanga. Nthawi zambiri amandiuza kuti: ‘Iweyo timakukhulupirira koma anzakowo sitimawakhulupirira.’”​—Anatero Christine, wazaka 18.

KODI inunso mumalakalaka makolo anu atamakulolani kuchita zinthu zina ngati Sarah ndi Christine? Makolo anu angakupatseni ufulu umenewu ngati amaona kuti ndinu munthu wokhulupirika. Koma vuto ndi lakuti, zimakhala zovuta kuti makolo anu ayambe kukukhulupirirani ndipo ngati mutachita chilichonse chokayikitsa angasiye kukukhulupirirani. Komanso nthawi zina zingachitike kuti makolo anu amakupatsani ufulu wochita zinthu zina komabe inuyo mumaona kuti ufuluwo ndi wochepa. Mtsikana wina wazaka 16, dzina lake Iliana ananena kuti: “Nthawi zonse ndikafuna kupita koyenda makolo anga amandipanikiza ndi mafunso ambirimbiri kuti adziwe kumene ndikupita, anthu amene ndikupita nawo, zimene tikukachita komanso nthawi imene ndibwereko. Ndimadziwa kuti ndi makolo anga komabe zimandikwana akamandifunsa mafunso ambirimbiri choncho.”

Kodi mungatani kuti makolo anu azikukhulupirirani komanso kuti azikupatsani ufulu wambiri? Tisanayankhe funso limeneli, tiyeni tikambirane kaye chimene chimapangitsa kuti makolo ndi ana asamamvane pa nkhani ya ufulu.

Zimavuta Kuti Makolo Ayambe Kukukhulupirira

Baibulo limanena kuti “mwamuna adzasiya bambo ake ndi mayi ake.” (Genesis 2:24) Mkazinso amachita zimenezi. Ndiye kaya ndinu mnyamata kapena mtsikana, muyenera kudziwa kuti zimene mukuchita panopo zikukukonzekeretsani zomwe muzidzachita mukadzakula n’kumakhala panokha komanso mukadzakhala ndi banja lanu.a

Munthu sungangoyamba kuchita zinthu mwachikulu kamodzin’kamodzi. Kukula kuli ngati kukwera masitepe chifukwa umakwera pang’onopang’ono. Pa nthawi imeneyi mukhoza kumasiyana maganizo ndi makolo anu pa nkhani ya zinthu zomwe mungathe kuchita panokha bwinobwino. Mtsikana wina, dzina lake Maria amaona kuti makolo ake amamukayikira kuti sasankha bwino anthu ocheza nawo. Iye ananena kuti: “Panopa ndili ndi zaka 20 koma makolo anga amaonabe kuti sindingathe kusankha bwinobwino anzanga ocheza nawo. Iwo amaona kuti sindingathe kuchokapo ngati anthu ayamba kuchita zinthu zolakwika. Ndimayesetsa kuwauza kuti ndimachoka anzanga akayamba kuchita zinthu zolakwika koma sandikhulupirirabe.”

Zimene Maria ananenazi zikusonyeza kuti nkhani ya ufulu imayambitsa mikangano pakati pa makolo ndi ana. Kodi ndi mmene zililinso m’banja mwanu? Ngati zili choncho, kodi mungatani kuti makolo anu azikukhulupirirani n’kumakulolani kuchita zinthu zina? Nanga mungatani ngati poyamba ankakukhulupirirani koma munachita zinazake zomwe zinachititsa kuti asiye kukukhulupirirani?

Muzisonyeza Kuti Ndinu Wokhulupirika

Mtumwi Paulo analembera Akhristu akale kuti: “Pitirizani kudziyesa kuti mudziwe kuti ndinu munthu wotani.” (2 Akorinto 13:5) N’zoona kuti sankalembera achinyamata komabe mfundo yake ikhoza kugwira ntchito kwa achinyamata. Nthawi zambiri wachinyamata angapatsidwe ufulu wambiri ngati alinso wokhulupirika. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti muzichita zinthu zonse molondola chifukwa tonse timalakwitsa. (Mlaliki 7:20) Komabe, kodi makolo anu akaganizira za khalidwe lanu, anganene kuti ndinu wokhulupirika?

Mwachitsanzo, Paulo analemba kuti: “Tikufuna kuchita zinthu zonse moona mtima.” (Aheberi 13:18) Choncho muyenera kudzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi ineyo ndimasonyeza kuti ndine woona mtima ndikamawauza makolo anga kumene ndimapita komanso zimene ndimachita?’ Tiyeni tione zimene achinyamata angapo, omwe anafunika kusintha kuti azifotokoza zinthu moona mtima, ananena. Mukawerenga zimene ananenazo yankhani mafunso amene ali m’munsi mwake.

Lori: “Ndinkalemberana makalata mwachinsinsi ndi mnyamata winawake amene ndinkamufuna. Makolo anga atadziwa anandiuza kuti ndisiye. Ndinawalonjeza kuti ndisiya, koma ndinapitirizabe kwa chaka chathunthu. Ndinkalembabe makalatawo ndipo makolo anga akandipezerera ndinkapepesa n’kulonjeza kuti sindidzabwerezanso, koma kenako ndinkamulemberanso. Zimenezi zinapangitsa kuti makolo anga asiyiretu kundikhulupirira.”

Kodi mukuganiza kuti n’chifukwa chiyani makolo ake a Lori anasiya kumukhulupirira? ․․․․․

Kodi mukanakhala kuti ndinu makolo ake a Lori mukanatani, ndipo chifukwa chiyani? ․․․․․

Kodi Lori akanayenera kuchita chiyani pa nthawi yoyamba imene makolo ake anamulankhula za nkhaniyi? ․․․․․

Beverly: “Makolo anga sankandikhulupirira pa nkhani ya kucheza ndi anyamata, koma panopo ndinadziwa chifukwa chake. N’chifukwa choti ndinkakopana ndi anyamata angapo amene anali aakulu kwa ineyo ndi zaka ziwiri. Komanso ndinkalankhula nawo pafoni kwa nthawi yaitali ndipo tikakhala pagulu ndinkangocheza ndi iwowo basi. Choncho makolo anga anandilanda foni kwa mwezi wathunthu, ndipo ankandiletsa kupita kulikonse kumene kuli anyamatawo.”

Kodi mukanakhala kuti ndinu makolo ake a Beverly mukanatani, ndipo chifukwa chiyani? ․․․․․

Kodi mukuganiza kuti zimene makolo ake a Beverly anachita zinali zolakwika? N’chifukwa chiyani mukuona choncho? ․․․․․

Kodi Beverly akanatani kuti makolo ake ayambirenso kumukhulupirira? ․․․․․

Kodi Mungatani Kuti Ayambirenso Kukukhulupirirani?

Kodi mungatani ngati nanunso zochita zanu zapangitsa kuti makolo anu asiye kukukhulupirirani? Ngati zili choncho, dziwani kuti n’zotheka kuchita zinthu zomwe zingachititse kuti makolo anu ayambirenso kukukhulupirirani. Koma kodi mungachite chiyani?

Makolo anu angayambe kukukhulupirirani kwambiri komanso kukulolani kuchita zinthu zina ngati akuona kuti mumachita zinthu mwanzeru. Annette anaona kuti mfundo imeneyi ndi yoona. Iye anati: “Munthu ukakhala wamng’ono sudziwa kuti kukhulupirika n’kofunika bwanji. Koma panopo ndimayesetsa kuchita zinthu mwanzeru n’cholinga choti makolo anga ayambirenso kundikhulupirira.” Kodi pamenepa mukuphunzirapo chiyani? M’malo momangodandaula kuti makolo anu sakukhulupirirani muziyesetsa kuchita zinthu zimene zingachititse kuti makolo anu azikukhulupirirani. Mukamachita zimenezi, makolo anu akhozanso kumakulolani kuchita zinthu zina.

Mwachitsanzo, kodi mumakhulupirika pa zinthu zili m’munsizi? Ikani chizindikiro ichi ✔ m’kabokosi kamene kali ndi chizolowezi chomwe mukuona kuti mukufunika kusintha.

□ Kufika pakhomo nthawi imene anandiuza

□ Kuchita zimene ndalonjeza

□ Kuchita zinthu pa nthawi yake

□ Kugwiritsa ntchito ndalama moyenera

□ Kugwira ntchito zonse zapakhomo

□ Kudzuka nthawi yabwino komanso mosanyinyirika

□ Kukonza bwinobwino

□ kuchipinda kwanga

□ Kulankhula zoona

□ Kusagwiritsa ntchito foni

□ kapena kompyuta mopitirira malire

□ Kuvomereza komanso kupepesa ndikalakwitsa zinthu

□ Zina ․․․․․

Chitani zonse zomwe mungathe kuti muzichita zinthu mokhulupirika pa makhalidwe omwe mwawaika chizindikirowo. Muzitsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo omwe amati: “Muvule umunthu wakale umene umagwirizana ndi khalidwe lanu lakale.” (Aefeso 4:22) “Mukati Inde akhaledi Inde.” (Yakobo 5:12) “Aliyense wa inu alankhule zoona kwa mnzake.” (Aefeso 4:25) “Muzimvera makolo anu pa zinthu zonse.” (Akolose 3:20) M’kupita kwa nthawi, anthu onse ndiponso makolo anu adzaona kuti mukusintha.​—1 Timoteyo 4:15.

Koma bwanji ngati mukuona ngati makolo anu sakukulolani kuchita zinthu zina, ngakhale mukuyesetsa kuchita zonse zomwe mungathe? Mungachite bwino kukambirana nawo za nkhaniyi. M’malo modandaula kuti sakukhulupirirani, afunseni mwaulemu zimene mungachite kuti azikukhulupirirani. Afotokozereni momveka bwino zimene mukufuna muzichita kuti azikukhulupirirani.

Musayembekezere kuti makolo anu angasinthe kamodzin’kamodzi chifukwa angafune kutsimikizira kuti muzichitadi zimene mwalonjezazo. Gwiritsani ntchito mwanzeru mwayi umenewu kuti aone kuti ndinu wokhulupirika. M’kupita kwa nthawi makolo anu angayambe kukukhulupirirani kwambiri komanso kukulolani kuchita zinthu zina. N’zimene zinachitikira Beverly amene tamutchula uja. Iye ananena kuti: “N’zovuta kuti makolo ayambe kukukhulupirira ndipo ukangochita chinachake chaching’ono akhoza kusiya kukukhulupirira. Panopa ndine wosangalala kuti makolo anga anayamba kundikhulupirira.”

WERENGANI ZAMBIRI PA NKHANI IMENEYI M’MUTU 22 M’BUKU LACHIWIRI

[Mawu a M’munsi]

LEMBA

“Ufulu wanu usakhale ngati chophimbira zoipa.”​—1 Petulo 2:16.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

M’malo moyerekezera ufulu wanu ndi umene mkulu wanu ali nawo, ndi bwino kuti muziyerekeza ufulu umene munali nawo muli mwana ndi ufulu umene muli nawo panopa.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Kupatsidwa ufulu wochita chilichonse si umboni woti makolo anu amakukondani koma ndi umboni woti amangokulekererani.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Ndikufuna ndizichita zinthu izi mokhulupirika: ․․․․․

Ndidzachita zotsatirazi ngati makolo anga atasiya kundikhulupirira: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pa nkhaniyi: ․․․․․

KODI INUYO MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● N’chifukwa chiyani zingatenge nthawi kuti makolo anu ayambe kukulolani kuchita zinthu zina ngakhale mutakhala kuti mumachita zinthu mokhulupirika?

● Kodi kufotokozera makolo anu zinthu momveka bwino kungathandize bwanji kuti ayambe kukulolani kuchita zinthu zina?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 24]

“Ndikamalankhula ndi makolo anga ndimawafotokozera mavuto anga komanso zinthu zimene zimandidetsa nkhawa. Ndikuganiza kuti zimenezi zimapangitsa kuti asamavutike kundikhulupirira.”​—Anatero Dianna

[Chithunzi patsamba 23]

Munthu sungangoyamba kuchita zinthu mwachikulu kamodzin’kamodzi. Kukula kuli ngati kukwera masitepe chifukwa umakwera pang’onopang’ono

[Chithunzi]

(Onani m’buku lenileni kuti mumvetse izi)

MUNTHU WAMKULU

WACHINYAMATA

MWANA

Mutu 15

Kodi N’kulakwa Kufuna Kuchitako Zinthu Zina Pandekha?

Ikani chizindikiro ichi ✔ m’kabokosi kamene kakufotokoza zimene munganene:

1. Yerekezani kuti muli kuchipinda kwanu ndipo chitseko n’chotseka. Kenako m’bale wanu akungolowa osagogoda.

□ ‘Palibe vuto. Inenso ndimachita zomwezo ndikamalowa kuchipinda kwake.’

□ ‘Chipongwetu chimenechi. Nanga ndikanakhala kuti ndikuvala?’

2. Yerekezani kuti mwangofika kumene kunyumba ndipo makolo anu akuyamba kukufunsani mafunso ambirimbiri. “Unali kuti? Unali ndi ndani? Mumakatani?”

□ ‘Palibe vuto, chifukwa ndimawauza chilichonse.’

□ ‘Zimenezi sizimandisangalatsa. Akamandifunsa mafunso ambiri ndiye kuti sandikhulupirira.’

MULI wamng’ono simunkadandaula anthu akamadziwa chilichonse chimene mukuchita. M’bale wanu ankati akalowa kuchipinda kwanu osagogoda munkasangalala kuti mwapeza wosewera naye. Makolo anu ankati akamakufunsani mafunso munkangoyankha bwinobwino. Nthawi imeneyo simunkaona vuto lina lililonse. Koma panopa simufuna kuti anthu azidziwa chilichonse chimene mukuchita. Mnyamata wina wazaka 14, dzina lake Corey, ananena kuti: “Nthawi zina sindifuna kuti anthu azidziwa zimene ndikuchita.” Tiyeni tione mbali ziwiri zimene zimakhala zovuta kwambiri ngati mukufuna kuchita zinthu panokha.

Nthawi Imene Mukufuna Kukhala Panokha

Pali zifukwa zambiri zimene zingakuchititseni kufuna kukhala panokha. Nthawi zina mungafune ‘kupumula pang’ono.’ (Maliko 6:31) Kapena mungafune kupemphera potsatira zimene Yesu anauza ophunzira ake kuti: “Lowa m’chipinda chako pawekha ndi kutseka chitseko ndipo pemphera kwa Atate wako.” (Mateyu 6:6; Maliko 1:35) Koma vuto lingakhale lakuti, mukadzitsekera kuchipinda kwanu (ngati muli ndi chipinda chanu) kuti mupemphere, makolo anu sangadziwe kuti mwadzitsekera chifukwa chakuti mukufuna kupemphera. Komanso abale anu sangamvetse zoti mukufuna kukhala panokha.

Zimene mungachite. M’malo mokangana ndi anthu ena chifukwa chakuti mukufuna kukhala panokha chitani zotsatirazi:

● Mukamachita zinthu ndi azibale anu, yesani kukhazikitsa malamulo oti ana nonse muzitsatira. Mwina mungapemphe makolo anu kuti akuthandizeni pokonza malamulowo.a

● Mukamachita zinthu ndi makolo anu, muziyesetsa kumvetsa maganizo awo. Mtsikana wina wazaka 16, dzina lake Rebekah, ananena kuti: “Nthawi zina makolo anga amafuna kudziwa kuti zinthu zikuyenda bwanji pa moyo wanga. Koma kunena zoona, inenso ndikanakhala kuti ndili ndi mwana ndikanachita zomwezo, makamaka chifukwa choti achinyamata akukumana ndi mavuto ambiri masiku ano.” Mofanana ndi Rebekah, kodi mumamvetsa chifukwa chake makolo anu amakuderani nkhawa?​—Miyambo 19:11.

● Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi zimene ndakhala ndikuchita zimachititsa kuti makolo anga azindikayikira? Kodi ndakhala ndikubisa zinazake moti makolo anga amachita kundifufuza kuti adziwe zimene zikuchitika pa moyo wanga?’ Ngati mwayankha kuti ayi, koma makolo anu samakukhulupiriranibe, auzeni mwaulemu mmene mukumvera. Muzimvetsera akamalankhula ndipo onetsetsani kuti simukuchita chilichonse chomwe chingawonjezere vutolo.​—Yakobo 1:19.

Mukamafuna Kupeza Anzanu

Mukamakula n’zachibadwa kufuna kupeza anzanu oti muzicheza nawo. Komanso n’zachibadwa kuti makolo anu azifuna kudziwa anthu amene mumacheza nawo komanso zimene mumachita mukakhala ndi anzanuwo. Koma nthawi zina mungaganize kuti makolo anu amada nkhawa mopitirira malire. Mtsikana wina wazaka 16, dzina lake Amy, ananena kuti: “Sindisangalala makolo anga akamafuna kudziwa munthu amene ndikulankhula naye, kuti aziona zimene ndikulemba pafoni kapena kuwerenga maimelo anga.”

Zimene mungachite. Musalole kuti kucheza ndi anzanu kuchititse kuti musamagwirizane ndi makolo anu. Yesani kuchita zotsatirazi:

● Makolo anu azidziwa anzanu amene mumacheza nawo. N’zoona kuti simungasangalale ngati mutadziwa kuti makolo anu akukufufuzani kuti adziwe anzanu amene mumacheza nawo. Koma n’zimene ayenera kuchita ngati inuyo mumawabisira anzanu amene mumacheza nawo. Muzikumbukiranso kuti makolo anu akamadziwa bwino anzanu, sangamade nkhawa kuti mukucheza ndi anthu olakwika.

● Dziwani vuto lenileni: Kodi vuto ndi lakuti makolo anu amafuna kudziwa chilichonse kapena inuyo mukubisa zinazake? Mtsikana wina wazaka 22, dzina lake Brittany, ananena kuti: “Ngati mukukhala ndi makolo anu ndipo akukuderani nkhawa, mungachite bwino kuganizira mfundo iyi: ‘Palibe chifukwa chobisira zomwe ndimachita ngati sindichita zoipa.’ Koma ngati mukubisa zinazake ndiye kuti pali vuto.”

Kodi Mukuyeneradi Kuchita Zinthu Panokha?

Tsopano ganizirani mofatsa zimene mungachite pa nkhani yofuna kuchita zinthu panokha. Lembani mayankho anu pamizere ili m’munsiyi:

Choyamba: Dziwani vuto lenileni. Kodi ndi nthawi iti imene inuyo mungafune kuchita zinthu panokha?

․․․․․

Chachiwiri: Yesani kumvetsa mmene makolo anu akuganizira. Kodi mukuganiza kuti n’chiyani chimapangitsa kuti makolo anu azikuderani nkhawa mopitirira malire?

․․․․․

Chachitatu: Pezani njira yothetsera vutolo. Kodi mukuganiza kuti pali zinazake zomwe mukuchita zomwe zikuwonjezera vutolo? Ngati mwayankha kuti inde, kodi mungatani kuti musinthe? Kodi mungafune kuti makolo anu akuthandizeni bwanji pa mavuto anuwo?

․․․․․

Chachinayi: Kambiranani. Lembani zimene mungachite kuti mukambirane ndi makolo anu pa nkhani ya kuchita zinthu panokha.

․․․․․

[Mawu a M’munsi]

LEMBA

“Chita chilichonse chotheka kuti usonyeze kuti ndiwe wovomerezeka pamaso pa Mulungu, wantchito wopanda chifukwa chochitira manyazi.”​—2 Timoteyo 2:15.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Mukamakambirana ndi makolo anu nkhani yokhudza kufuna kuchita zinthu zina panokha, muzipewa kunena zinthu zimene mukuona kuti makolo anu amalakwitsa. Koma muzinena zinthu zomwe zingathandize kuti mupeze njira yothetsera vutolo.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Ngati simubisira makolo anu chilichonse, iwo sangamakukayikireni.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Kuti makolo anga azindikhulupirira (kapena kuti ayambirenso kundikhulupirira) ndizichita izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pa nkhaniyi ․․․․․

KODI INUYO MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● N’chifukwa chiyani makolo ayenera kudziwa zimene zikuchitika pa moyo wanu?

● Kodi mukamayesetsa kulankhula bwino ndi makolo anu panopa, zingadzakuthandizeni bwanji m’tsogolo?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 108]

“Makolo anu safuna kuti mukumane ndi mavuto ndipo nthawi zina angaoneke ngati akulowelera kwambiri nkhani zanu. Zimenezi sizisangalatsa koma zoona zake n’zakuti, ndikanakhala kuti inenso ndili ndi mwana ndikanachita zomwezo.”​—Anatero Alana

[Chithunzi patsamba 109]

Munthu amalandira malipiro chifukwa cha ntchito imene wagwira. Nanunso pali zimene muyenera kuchita kuti makolo anu azikukhulupirirani