Khalanibe Wacimwemwe Posamalila Wodwala Kapena Wokalamba

1-2. Kodi Yehova amawaona bwanji amene akusamalila odwala kapena okalamba? (Miyambo 19:17) (Onaninso zithunzi.)

M’BALE wina wa ku Korea, dzina lake Jin-yeol, anati: “Ine ndi mkazi wanga takhala mu ukwati zaka zoposa 32. Ndakhala ndikudwazika mkazi wanga kwa zaka zisanu tsopano. Ali ndi matenda enaake a muubongo amene amamulepheletsa kuyendetsa ziwalo zake bwino-bwino. Ndimam’konda kwambili mkazi wanga, ndipo kum’samalila sindidandaula nako. Usiku ulionse amagona pabedi lakucipatala lomwe lili m’nyumba mwathu. Ndimagona pambali pake, ndipo timagwilana manja pogona.”

² Kodi palipano mukusamalila munthu wokalamba, kapena mukudwazika kholo, mnzanu wamuukwati, mwana wanu, kapena bwenzi lanu? Ngati n’telo, mwacionekele mumauona kuti ndi mwai kum’samalila wokondedwa wanuyo. Ndipo cisamalilo cimene mumapeleka cimaonetsa kuti ndinu wodzipeleka kwa Yehova. (1 Tim. 5:​4, 8; Yak. 1:27) Ngakhale n’telo, mumakumana ndi zobvuta zimene ena saona. Nthawi zina mungaone monga ndinu nokha amene mukukumana ndi mabvutowo. Mukakhala pa anthu mungamaoneke ngati wosangalala, koma mukakhala kwanokha misozi imangoti mbwe! mbwe! mbwe! (Sal. 6:6) Ngakhale kuti anthu ena sangadziwe zimene mukupitamo, Yehova amadziwa. (Yelekezelani ndi Ekisodo 3:7.) Yehova amaona misozi yanu, ndipo amayamikila kudzimana kwanu. (Sal. 56:8; 126:5) Iye amaona zonse zimene mumacita pothandiza okondedwa anu. Kwa iye, zimakhala ngati ali ndi nkhongole kwa inu, ndipo akulonjeza kuti adzakubwezelani.​—Welengani Miyambo 19:17.

3. Kodi Abulahamu ndi Sara ayenela kuti anakumana ndi mabvuto otani posamalila Tera?

³ M’Baibo muli nkhani zambili za amuna ndi akazi amene anali kusamalila odwala kapena okalamba. Mwacitsanzo, pomwe Abulahamu ndi Sara anali kucoka mumzinda wa Uri, Tera, atate wao, anali ndi zaka ngati 200. Ngakhale kuti anali okalamba kwambili, iwo anayenda nawo limodzi mtunda wa makilomita pafupi-fupi 960 wopita ku Harana. (Gen. 11:​31, 32) Mosakaikila, Abulahamu ndi Sara anali kum’konda Tera. Koma ziyenela kuti zinali zobvuta kwambili kum’samalila, makamaka ali pa ulendowo. Iwo ayenela kuti anakwela pa ngamila kapena pa bulu, ndipo ziyenela kuti zinali zobvuta kwambili kwa munthu wokalamba ngati Tera. Mwacionekele, nthawi zina Abulahamu ndi Sara anali kukhala otopa zedi. Mulimonsemo, Yehova anawapatsa mphamvu zomwe anali kufunikila. Inunso, Yehova adzakuthandizani ndi kukupatsani mphamvu monga anacitila kwa Abulahamu ndi Sara.​—Sal. 55:22.

4. Kodi tikambilana ciani m’nkhani ino?

⁴ Zimakhala zosabvuta kusamalila wokondedwa wanu ngati ndinu wacimwemwe. (Miy. 15:13) Munthu wacimwemwe amakhalabe wosangalala ngakhale pamene zinthu zili zobvuta. (Yak. 1:​2, 3) Kodi mungatani kuti mukhale wacimwemwe? Cimodzi cimene mungacite ndi kudalila Yehova komanso kum’pempha kuti azikuthandizani kuona zinthu moyenela. M’nkhani ino, tikambilane zinthu zina zimene anthu amene akusamalila odwala kapena okalamba angacite kuti akhalebe acimwemwe. Tionenso mmene ena angawathandizile. Koma coyamba, tiyeni tikambilane cifukwa cake anthu amene akusamalila odwala kapena okalamba ayenela kukhala acimwemwe komanso tione mabvuto amene angawalande cimwemwe.

KUSAMALILA ODWALA KAPENA OKALAMBA KUNGAKULANDENI CIMWEMWE

5. N’cifukwa ciani osamalila odwala kapena okalamba afunika kukhalabe acimwemwe?

⁵ Ngati amene akusamalila odwala kapena okalamba alibe cimwemwe, n’zosabvuta kulefuka. (Miy. 24:10) Ndipo akalefuka sakhala okoma mtima kwenikweni mmene angafunile. N’ciani cingacititse kuti anthu amene akusamalila odwala kapena okalamba asamakhale acimwemwe?

6. N’ciani cimapangitsa ena amene akusamalila odwala kapena okalamba kukhala otopa kwambili?

⁶ Kutopa kwambili. Mlongo wina, dzina lake Leah, anati: “Ngakhale pamene zinthu zonse zili bwino, kusamalila ena kumanditopetsa kwambili, moti pamapeto pa tsiku ndimakhala ndilibiletu mphamvu zocita ciliconse. Nthawi zina, ngakhale kuyankha meseji pafoni kumandibvuta.” Ena zimawabvuta kugona mokwanila kapena kupumulako pamene akufunikila kwambili kutelo. Mlongo wina, dzina lake Inés, anati: “Zimandibvuta kugona mokwanila. Nthawi zambili usiku, ndimadzuka pafupi-pafupi kuti ndisamalile apongozi anga. Kwa zaka tsopano, ine ndi mwamuna wanga sitipita kuchuti.” Ena amalephela kupezeka pamaceza kapena kucitako mautumiki m’gulu cifukwa wokondedwa wao amafunika cisamalilo nthawi zonse. Conco, angamakhale osungulumwa ndi okhumudwa cifukwa colephela kucita zinthu zimene akufunikila kucita.

7. N’cifukwa ciani ena amene akusamalila wodwala kapena wokalamba amadziimba mlandu kapena kukhala ndi cisoni?

⁷ Kudziimba mlandu kapena kukhala ndi cisoni. Mlongo wina, dzina lake Jessica, anati: “Ndimakhumudwa cifukwa colephela kucita zinthu zina. Ndimadziimba mlandu ndikapumulako poganiza kuti kutelo n’kudzikonda.” Ena amadziimba mlandu cifukwa nthawi zina amaipidwa nayo nchito yosamalila odwala kapena okalamba. Koma ena amakhala ankhawa poganiza kuti sakuwasamalila mokwanila okondedwa awo. Enanso amadziimba mlandu cifukwa panthawi ina atapanikizika maganizo, anakamba mau amene anakhumudwitsa munthu yemwe akum’samalila. (Yak. 3:2) Ena amagwidwa ndi cisoni akaona kuti matenda a wokondedwa wao akupitila-pitila patsogolo. Mlongo wina, dzina lake Barbra, anati: “Cimene cimandipweteka mtima kwambili ndi kuona matenda a wokondedwa wanga akukula tsiku ndi tsiku.”

8. Fotokozani citsanzo coonetsa mmene mau ocepa aciyamikilo angalimbikitsile amene akusamalila wodwala kapena wokalamba.

⁸ Kuona kuti sakuyamikilidwa. Ena amamva conco cifukwa ndi anthu ocepa cabe amene amawayamikila pa khama lao ndi kudzimana kwao. Mau ocepa owayamikila angawalimbikitse kwambili. (1 Ates. 5:18) Mlongo wina, dzina lake Melissa, anati: “Nthawi zina ndimagwetsa misozi cifukwa cokhumudwa. Koma ndimalimbikitsidwa kwambili anthu amene ndikuwasamalila akandiuza kuti, ‘Zikomo kwambili pa zonse zimene mumandicitila.’ Mau amenewa amandilimbikitsa kupitiliza kuwasamalila.” M’bale wina, dzina lake Ahmadu, anafotokoza mmene mau oyamikila amamulimbikitsila. Iye ndi mkazi wake amasamalila mwana wa alongo awo a mkazi wake amene akudwala matenda a khunyu. Iye anati: “Ngakhale kuti sangamvetse kukula kwa nchito imene timacita pom’samalila, cimwemwe cimadzala mumtima mwanga akatiyamikila kapena akalemba timau takuti ‘Ndimakukondani.’”

MMENE MUNGAKHALILEBE ACIMWEMWE

9. Kodi osamalila odwala kapena okalamba angaonetse bwanji kuti ndi odzicepetsa?

⁹ Khalani odzicepetsa. (Miy. 11:2) Nthawi zina, timasowa mphamvu kapena nthawi yocita zimene tikufuna. Conco, muyenela kuona zinthu zimene mungakwanitse kucita ndi kudziikila malile. Ndipo nthawi zina mungafunike kukana kucita zinthu zimene anthu ena angakupempheni kucita. Kucita zimenezo sikulakwa ndipo kungaonetse kuti ndinu wodzicepetsa. Ena akadzipeleka kuti akuthandizeni, muyenela kubvomela ndi mtima wonse. M’bale wina, dzina lake Jay, anati: “Anthufe sitingakwanitse kucita zonse zimene tikufuna. Kudziwa bwino malile athu ndi kupewa zimene sitingakwanitse kucita kungatithandize kukhalabe acimwemwe.”

10. N’cifukwa ciani osamalila odwala kapena okalamba afunika kukhala ozindikila? (Miyambo 19:11)

¹⁰ Khalani ozindikila. (Welengani Miyambo 19:11.) Kukhala wozindikila kudzakuthandizani kukhalabe odekha ngati munthu amene mukusamalila wakamba kapena kucita zinthu zokukhumudwitsani. Munthu wozindikila amayesetsa kumvetsa cimene cikupangitsa munthu kucita zinthu mwa njila inayake. Matenda ena angapangitse munthu kucita zinthu mosaganiza bwino. (Mlal. 7:7) Mwacitsanzo, munthu amene amakamba ndi kucita zinthu mokoma mtima komanso moganiza bwino angasinthe n’kukhala wamikangano kapena wamtima wapacala. Mwinanso angakhale wosayamika kapena wokonda kudandaula. Ngati mukusamalila munthu amene akudwala matenda aakulu, mungacite bwino kufufuza za matenda ake kuti muwadziwe bwino. Kudziwa bwino matenda ake kungakuthandizeni kuzindikila kuti matendawo ndi amene amapangitsa kuti nthawi zina azicita kapena kukamba zinthu zokukhumudwitsani.​—Miy. 14:29.

11. Ndi zinthu zofunika kwambili ziti zimene osamalila odwala kapena okalamba ayenela kucita tsiku lililonse? (Salimo 132:​4, 5)

¹¹ Muzipatula nthawi yolimbitsa ubwenzi wanu ndi Yehova. Nthawi zina mungafunike kusiya nchito zanu kuti mucite zinthu “zofunika kwambili.” (Afil. 1:10) Cimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika zimenezi ndi kulimbitsa ubwenzi wanu ndi Yehova. Ngakhale kuti Mfumu Davide anali kukhala ndi zocita zambili, anali kuona kuti kulambila Yehova ndiko kofunika kwambili. (Welengani Salimo 132:​4, 5.) Mofananamo, n’kofunika kwambili kuti inunso muzipatula nthawi yowelenga Baibo ndi kupemphela. Mlongo wina, dzina lake Elisha, anati: “Cimene cimandithandiza kukhalabe wacimwemwe ndi kupemphela komanso kusinkha-sinkha mau a m’buku la Masalimo. Pemphelo landithandiza kwambili. Tsiku lonse ndimapemphela kawili-kawili kwa Yehova kuti ndikhalebe wodekha.”

12. N’cifukwa ciani osamalila odwala kapena okalamba ayenela kumapatula nthawi yosamalila thanzi lao?

¹² Muzipatula nthawi yosamalila thanzi lanu. Anthu amene amasamalila odwala kapena okalamba amakhala ndi zocita zambili moti cimakhala cowabvuta kupeza nthawi yogula zinthu kapena kuphika zakudya zopatsa thanzi. Ngati mukusamalila wodwala kapena wokalamba, kudya zakudya zopatsa thanzi ndi kucita masewela olimbitsa thupi kungakuthandizeni kukhala ndi thanzi labwino. Conco, ngakhale kuti mumakhala ndi zocita zambili, muziyesetsa kudya zakudya zopatsa thanzi komanso kucita masewela olimbitsa thupi nthawi zonse. (Aef. 5:​15, 16) Kuonjezela pamenepo, muzigona mokwanila. (Mlal. 4:6) Akatswili amakamba kuti kugona mokwanila kumathandiza kuti ubongo uzigwila bwino nchito. Buku lina la za umoyo linati ngati munthu amagona mokwanila sakhala wankhawa kwambili, ndipo amakhalabe wodekha ngakhale pamene zinthu zili zobvuta. Mufunikanso kumapatula nthawi yocita zosangalatsa. (Mlal 8:15) Mlongo wina anafotokoza zimene zimam’thandiza kukhalabe wacimwemwe. Iye anati: “Kukaca bwino, ndimapita pabwalo kukaothela dzuwa. Ndipo tsiku limodzi pa mwezi ndimacitako zosangalatsa ndi mnzanga.”

13. Kodi kuseka kuli ndi ubwino wanji? (Miyambo 17:22)

¹³ Muzisekako nthawi zina. (Welengani Miyambo 17:22; Mlal. 3:​1, 4) Kuseka kungakuthandizeni kukhala ndi thanzi labwino. Ngati mukusamalila winawake, nthawi zina zinthu sizicitika ndendende mmene munali kufunila. Koma kusekako, ngakhale pamene zinthu sizinayende mmene munali kuganizila, kungakuthandizeni kuti muthe kupilila zokhumudwitsa. Ndipo kuseka ndi munthu amene mukum’samalila kungalimbitse ubwenzi wanu ndi iye.

14. Kodi kuuzako bwenzi lodalilika mmene mukumvela kungakuthandizeni bwanji?

¹⁴ Muziuzako bwenzi lanu lapamtima mmene mukumvela. Ngakhale mutayesetsa bwanji, nthawi zina mungakhalebe ndi nkhawa. Zikakhala telo, mungacite bwino kufotokoza mmene mukumvela kwa mnzanu amene angamvetsetse nkhawa zanu. (Miy. 17:17) Iye adzakumvetselani komanso kukulimbikitsani. Izi zidzakuthadizani kukhalabe wacimwemwe.​—Miy. 12:25.

15. Kodi kuganizila kwambili ciyembekezo canu kungakuthandizeni bwanji kukhalabe acimwemwe?

¹⁵ Muziyelekeza kuti muli limodzi ndi wokondedwa wanuyo m’Paradaiso. Muzikumbukila kuti nchito yosamalila odwala kapena okalamba ndi yakanthawi cabe, ndipo sicinali colinga ca Yehova kuti anthu azigwila nchito imeneyi. (2 Akor. 4:​16-18) M’tsogolomu, tidzakhala ndi “moyo weniweni.” (1 Tim. 6:19) Mungasangalalenso kwambili mukamakambilana zinthu zimene mufuna kudzacitila pamodzi m’Paradaiso ndi munthu amene mukusamalila. (Yes. 33:24; 65:21) Mlongo wina, dzina lake Heather, anati: “Nthawi zambili ndimauza munthu amene ndikusamalila kuti posacedwapa tizikasoka zobvala, kuthamanga ndi kuchova njinga tili limodzi. Tizikaphika buledi ndi kukonzela cakudya okondedwa athu amene adzaukitsidwa. Kenako timamuyamikila Yehova potipatsa ciyembekezo cimeneci.”

MMENE ENA ANGAKUTHANDIZILENI

16. Kodi amene akusamalila wodwala kapena wokalamba mumpingo mwathu tingawathandize motani? (Onaninso cithunzi.)

¹⁶ Athandizeni kupeza nthawi yopumula. Tonsefe mumpingo tingathandize amene akusamalila wodwala kapena wokalamba mwa kudzipeleka kusamalila wokondedwa waoyo. Kucita zimenezi kungawathandize kupezako nthawi yopumula ndi kucita zinthu zina. (Agal. 6:2) Ofalitsa ena ali ndi ndandanda yothandiza amene akusamalila odwala kapena okalamba wiki iliyonse. Mlongo wina, dzina lake Natalya, amene akusamalila mwamuna wake wofa ziwalo, anati: “M’bale wina wa mumpingo mwathu amabwela kamodzi kapena kawili pamlungu kudzaceza ndi mwamuna wanga. Iye ndi mwamuna wanga amacita ulaliki wapafoni pamodzi, komanso kuceza ndi kuonelela mafilimu pamodzi. M’baleyo akabwela, mwamuna wanga amasangalala kwambili. Izi zimandipatsako mpata wocita zinthu zina zofunika monga kuongolako miyendo.” Abale ndi alongo mumpingo angadzipeleke kusamalila wodwala kapena wokalamba usiku n’colinga coti m’bale kapena mlongo amene amawasamalila aoneko tulo.

17. Tingawathandize bwanji amene akusamalila odwala kapena okalamba panthawi ya misonkhano?

¹⁷ Thandizani osamalila odwala kapena okalamba akabwela pamisonkhano. Cifukwa cotangwanika ndi kusamalila okondedwa ao, zingakhale zobvuta kwa iwo kupindula ndi misonkhano yampingo, yadela ndi yacigao. Pofuna kuthandiza, abale ndi alongo angadzipeleke kusamalila wodwala kapena wokalambayo pa nthawi yonse ya msonkhano kapena mbali yake cabe. Ngati munthuyo sacoka panyumba, mungapite kunyumba kwake kukalumikiza kumsonkhano wa pavidiyo konfalesi kuti wom’samalila apeze mwai wokacita msonkhano wa pamaso m’pamaso.

18. N’cianinso cina tingacite kwa osamalila odwala kapena okalamba?

¹⁸ Muziwayamikila ndi kuwapemphelela amene akusamalila odwala kapena okalamba. Akulu ayenela kumacita maulendo aubusa kawili-kawili kwa osamalila odwala kapena okalamba. (Miy. 27:23) Komanso tonsefe mumpingo tiyenela kumawayamikila anthu amenewa nthawi zonse mocokela pansi pamtima. Tingawapemphelelenso kuti Yehova apitilize kuwalimbikitsa ndi kuwathandiza kuti akhalebe acimwemwe.​—2 Akor. 1:11.

19. Kodi tikuyembekezela zinthu zotani m’tsogolo?

¹⁹ Posacedwapa, Yehova adzapukuta misozi pa nkhope zonse za anthu, ndipo matenda ndi imfa sizidzakhalaponso. (Chiv. 21:​3, 4) “Munthu wolumala adzadumpha ngati mmene imacitila mbawala.” (Yes. 35:​5, 6) Ukalamba komanso nchito yobvuta yosamalila okondedwa athu amene akudwala “zidzakhala zinthu zakale zimene sizidzakumbukilidwanso.” (Yes. 65:17) Ngakhale pali pano, pamene tikuyembekezela zinthu zabwino zimene Yehova watilonjeza, iye adzatithandiza. Tikamam’dalila nthawi zonse kuti atipatse mphamvu, adzatithandiza “kupilila zinthu zonse moleza mtima ndiponso mwacimwemwe.”​—Akol. 1:11.