Story Gud Tugeta for Strongim Marit
“Toktok wea man talem long taem wea barava fitim hem naes tumas olsem olketa gold apple wea stap long silver karving.”—PROV. 25:11.
1. Hao nao wei for story gud tugeta hem helpem olketa wea marit?
WANFALA brata long Canada hem sei: “Mi enjoyim tumas for spendem taem witim waef bilong mi winim eni narawan.” Hem sei taem gud samting happen, hem and waef bilong hem nao hapi tugeta, and taem hard samting hem happen, tufala nao deal witim datwan tugeta. Wanfala hasband long Australia hem sei: “Insaed 11 year wea mitufala marit, no eni day miss wea mi no story witim waef bilong mi.” Hem sei wei wea tufala story gud tugeta helpem tufala for barava trustim tufala and garem gudfala marit. Wanfala sista long Costa Rica sei wei for story gud tugeta helpem hem and hasband bilong hem for hapi long marit bilong tufala. Hem sei: “Datwan helpem mitufala fren gud witim Jehovah, protectim mifala from wei for no faithful long each other, mekem mitufala garem wan mind, and hem strongim love bilong mitufala.”
2. Wanem nao samfala samting wea maet mekem hasband and waef no savve story gud tugeta?
2 Waswe, iu and marit partner bilong iu savve story gud tugeta? Hem tru, samfala taem bae hem no isi for iutufala duim datwan. Iutufala evriwan no perfect and garem difren wei. (Rome 3:23) Maet culture or training wea iutufala kasem from parents hem difren. So maet wei bilong iutufala for story hem no semsem. Dastawe John Gottman and Nan Silver wea duim research abaotem marit sei olketa hasband and waef mas willing for barava waka hard sapos olketa laek for story gud tugeta and for stap tugeta for olowe.
3. Wanem nao helpem olketa hasband and waef for strongim marit bilong olketa?
3 For garem gudfala marit, hasband and waef mas waka hard, and datwan savve mekem tufala barava hapi. (Eccl. 9:9) Tingim Isaac and Rebekah wea lovem each other. (Gen. 24:67) Bible showimaot love bilong tufala hem strong nomata bihaen tufala marit for longfala taem. Distaem staka hasband and waef olsem tu. Wanem nao helpem olketa? Olketa lane for honest taem olketa talem tingting and feeling bilong olketa long kaenfala wei. Olketa garem wei for luksavve, lovem and barava respectim each other, and olketa hambol. Bae iumi storyim hao taem hasband and waef showimaot olketa wei olsem, datwan bae helpem tufala for story gud tugeta.
GAREM WEI FOR LUKSAVVE
4, 5. Hao nao wei for luksavve hem helpem hasband and waef for minim each other? Storyim samfala example.
4 Proverbs 16:20 hem sei: “Man wea showimaot hem luksavve long samting bae kasem gud samting.” Bible helpem iumi for garem wisdom and wei for luksavve wea iumi needim for garem marit wea hapi. (Readim Proverbs 24:3.) Genesis 2:18 sei God no wakem woman for olsem man, bat hem wakem woman for barava fitim man. Dastawe wei bilong olketa woman for story hem difren from olketa man. Klosap evri woman laek story abaotem feeling bilong olketa, and abaotem nara pipol and olketa fren and famili. Wei for story wea honest and showimaot love hem mekem olketa woman feel olsem hasband lovem olketa. Bat hem wei bilong staka man for no laek story abaotem feeling bilong olketa. Olketa laek story abaotem samting wea olketa duim, olketa problem, and hao for stretem problem. Olketa laekem tu for waef respectim olketa.
5 Wanfala sista long Britain sei: “Hasband bilong mi laek for kwiktaem stretem olketa problem and no weit for mi finis story firstaem.” Hem sei datwan savve mekem hem feel nogud bikos hem laekem hasband for herem hem nomoa and trae for minim feeling bilong hem. Wanfala hasband sei: “Taem mitufala just marit, hem wei bilong mi for laek kwiktaem talem waef bilong mi hao for stretem eni problem wea hem garem.” Bat no longtaem bihaen, hem start for luksavve waef bilong hem laekem hem for lisin long hem nomoa. (Prov. 18:13; Jas. 1:19) Hasband wea garem wei for luksavve hem savve long feeling bilong waef bilong hem, and duim olketa samting wea mekem waef feel savve hem lovem hem. Hem showimaot hao tingting and feeling bilong waef hem important long hem. (1 Pet. 3:7) And tu, waef wea garem wei for luksavve bae trae for minim tingting bilong hasband bilong hem. Taem hasband and waef duim wanem God laekem, tufala savve garem hapi marit and savve waka tugeta for mekem olketa wise disison.
6, 7. (a) Ecclesiastes 3:7 savve helpem hasband and waef for luksavve long wanem? (b) Hao nao waef savve showimaot wei for luksavve taem hem story witim hasband bilong hem, and wanem nao hasband mas duim?
6 Hasband and waef mas luksavve tu samfala taem hem “taem for stap kwaet” and samfala taem hem “taem for toktok.” (Eccl. 3:1, 7) Wanfala sista wea marit for tenfala year finis sei hem luksavve wanem taem nao hem fitim for hem storyim samfala samting long hasband bilong hem. Sapos hasband hem tingim waka or staka nara samting wea hem mas duim, hem weit for taem wea fitim for story witim hem. From hem duim olsem, tufala savve story gud tugeta. Taem waef hem story long kaenfala wei and “long taem wea barava fitim,” hasband bae hapi for lisin long hem.—Readim Proverbs 25:11.
7 Christian hasband bae no lisin long waef bilong hem nomoa, bat hem bae traem best tu for storyim olketa feeling bilong hem long waef. Wanfala elder wea marit for 27 year finis hem sei: “Hem no isi for storyim feeling bilong mi long waef bilong mi.” Nara brata wea marit for 24 year finis sei hem no wei bilong hem for storyim olketa problem. Hem tingse sapos hem no story abaotem problem, bae problem savve finis seleva nomoa. Bat hem sei moa: “Distaem mi luksavve, wei for storyim feeling bilong mi hem no minim mi wik. Taem mi faendem hard for talemaot feeling bilong mi, mi prea long Jehovah for helpem mi savve long stretfala word for talem and best wei for talem. Then mi brith big and mi start story nao.” Hem important for hasband and waef chusim gudfala taem for story, maet taem tufala seleva readim text or duim Bible reading tugeta.
8. Wanem nao bae mekem hasband and waef laek waka hard for story gud tugeta?
8 Hem no isi for hasband and waef changem wei bilong tufala for story. Tufala evriwan mas prea for spirit bilong God, and barava laek for mekem wei bilong tufala for story hem kamap gud. Tufala bae duim datwan sapos tufala lovem Jehovah, laek for mekem hem hapi, and ting long marit bilong tufala olsem hem holy samting. Wanfala sista wea marit for 26 year finis sei: “Mitufala hasband bilong mi garem sem tingting abaotem marit olsem Jehovah, so mitufala no garem tingting for separate. Diswan mekem mitufala waka hard for story gud tugeta for stretem olketa problem.” Hasband and waef wea duim diswan faithful long God. Diswan bae mekem hem hapi and bae hem blessim tufala.—Ps. 127:1.
GOHED STRONGIM LOVE BILONG IUTUFALA
9, 10. Wanem nao hasband and waef savve duim for strongim love bilong tufala?
9 Winim eni nara samting hasband and waef mas garem love. Bible sei love nao “mekem pipol for wan mind.” (Col. 3:14) Love savve kamap strong taem hasband and waef stap tugeta for staka year long olketa gud taem and hard taem. Datwan mekem tufala fren gud tugeta and hapi for stap tugeta. Tufala strongim marit long wei for duim plande smol samting for each other evriday, no tu-thri big samting nomoa olsem iumi lukim long olketa movie or television. Olketa smol samting hia maet wei for smile or hagem each other, tok kaen, duim samting wea showimaot tufala tingim each other, or for ask: “Hao nao day bilong iu?” Olketa smol samting olsem hem big samting bikos hem savve help for strongim marit. Wanfala hasband and waef wea marit for 19 year finis sei tufala savve ringim or textim each other evriday “just for sei hello nomoa.”
10 Taem hasband and waef lovem each other, tufala willing for gohed lane abaotem wei bilong tufala. (Phil. 2:4) Datwan strongim love bilong tufala, nomata tufala evriwan garem wik point. Evri year, marit bilong tufala wea hapi bae kamap moa strong. So sapos iu marit, tingim olketa kwestin hia: ‘Waswe, mi savve gud long hasband or waef bilong mi? Waswe, mi minim feeling and tingting bilong hem abaotem olketa samting? Waswe, samfala taem mi ting go bak long olketa wei bilong partner bilong mi wea mekem mi laek frenim and maritim hem?’
SHOWIMAOT RESPECT
11. Why nao wei for showimaot respect insaed long marit hem important tumas? Storyim example from Bible.
11 Nomata tufala wea garem gudfala marit, marit bilong tufala hem no perfect. Maet samfala taem tufala bae no agree long samting. Abraham and Sarah tu no agree samfala taem. (Gen. 21:9-11) Bat datwan no spoelem marit bilong tufala. Why nao olsem? Tufala showimaot respect long tufala. Olsem example, Abraham sei “plis” long Sarah. (Gen. 12:11, 13) And Sarah obeyim Abraham and ting long hem olsem “lord” bilong hem. (Gen. 18:12) Bat hasband and waef wea tok nogud long each other no showimaot respect. (Prov. 12:18) And sapos tufala no showimaot respect, diswan savve spoelem marit bilong tufala.—Readim James 3:7-10, 17, 18.
12. Taem hasband and waef just marit, why nao tufala mas waka hard for story long wei wea showimaot respect?
12 Taem hasband and waef just marit, tufala mas waka hard for story long kaenfala wei wea showimaot respect. Diswan bae mekem tufala feel free for story tugeta. Wanfala hasband sei first tu-thri year wea tufala marit, hem and waef bilong hem no minim feeling and wei bilong narawan, and wanem narawan needim. Samfala taem datwan mekem hem no isi for tufala. Bat tufala hapi bikos tufala garem balance tingting and no serious tumas. Hem sei tu hem important for hambol, patient, and trust long Jehovah. Diswan hem gudfala advaes for iumi evriwan!
SHOWIMAOT IU HAMBOL
13. For garem gudfala marit, why nao hasband and waef mas hambol?
13 For hasband and waef story gud tugeta and long kaenfala wei, tufala evriwan mas “hambol.” (1 Pet. 3:8) Wanfala brata wea marit for 11 year finis sei wei for hambol savve helpem hasband and waef for stretem problem bikos datwan helpem tufala for sei sorre. Wanfala elder wea marit for 20 year finis hem sei: “Samfala taem hem moa important for sei sorre winim for sei ‘Mi lovem iu.’” Hem talem hao prea helpem hem and waef bilong hem for hambol. Hem sei: “Taem mi and waef bilong mi prea tugeta, datwan helpem mitufala for tingim wei wea mitufala no perfect, and wei wea Jehovah hem kaen tumas.” Datwan helpem tufala for garem stretfala tingting abaotem tufala seleva and abaotem datfala problem.
14. Hao nao wei for praod savve affectim marit?
14 Sapos hasband or waef praod datwan savve mekem hem barava hard for tufala story gud tugeta and for stretem olketa problem. Man wea praod hem no laek for sei “Sorre, plis forgivim mi.” Hem mek excuse or hem blamem narawan for samting wea hem duim. Taem man wea praod hem feel nogud long narawan, hem no trae for stretem problem, bat hem tok raf or hem les for story. (Eccl. 7:9) Tru nao, wei for praod savve spoelem marit. Hem gud for remember “God hem againstim olketa wea praod tumas, bat hem kaen tumas long olketa wea hambol.”—Jas. 4:6.
15. Hao nao Ephesus 4:26, 27 savve helpem hasband and waef for stretem problem?
15 Taem hasband and waef no agree long samting, tufala mas no praod bat shud kwiktaem duim samting for stretem datwan. Paul talem olketa Christian: “Iufala mas finis for kros bifor sun hem go daon. No givim chance long Devil.” (Eph. 4:26, 27) Wanem nao savve happen sapos hasband and waef no followim disfala advaes? Wanfala sista storyim samting wea savve happen. Hem sei: “Mi nating sleep full naet!” Hem gud sapos tufala trae for stretem datfala problem kwiktaem. Maet hasband and waef needim lelebet taem for mekem mind bilong tufala gud bifor tufala savve story abaotem datwan. Tufala shud prea long Jehovah tu for helpem tufala for hambol. Diswan bae helpem olketa for no tingim feeling bilong olketa seleva nomoa, bat for tingim hao for stretem datfala problem.—Readim Colossae 3:12, 13.
16. Hao nao wei for hambol savve helpem hasband and waef for tinghae long olketa gudfala wei and savve bilong each other?
16 Wei for hambol savve helpem hasband and waef for tinghae long olketa gudfala wei bilong partner bilong hem and savve wea hem garem for duim samting. Olsem example, maet waef hem garem savve for duim wanfala samting and hem iusim datwan for helpem famili. Hasband wea hambol bae no tingse hem mas winim waef long evri samting, bat bae hem encouragem waef for iusim savve bilong hem. Datwan bae showimaot hem lovem and tinghae long waef bilong hem. (Prov. 31:10, 28; Eph. 5:28, 29) And tu, waef wea hambol bae no tok praod abaotem savve bilong hem and no tok daonem hasband wea no garem sem savve olsem hem. From hasband and waef “wanfala body nomoa,” sapos eniwan long tufala praod olsem, datwan bae spoelem tufala evriwan.—Matt. 19:4, 5.
17. Wanem nao bae mekem marit hapi and mekhae long God?
17 Iumi evriwan laekem marit bilong iumi for olsem marit bilong Abraham and Sarah or Isaac and Rebekah. Iu laekem marit bilong iu for hapi, stap for olowe, and for mekhae long Jehovah. So iu mas garem sem tingting olsem God abaotem marit. Lukaotem wisdom bilong Jehovah insaed Bible. Tinghae long gudfala wei bilong each other and datwan bae strongim love bilong iutufala. (Song of Sol. 8:6) Traem best for hambol. Showimaot respect long marit partner bilong iu. Sapos iu duim olketa samting hia, marit bilong iu bae mekem iu hapi and mekem Dadi bilong iu long heven hapi tu. (Prov. 27:11) Wanfala brata wea marit for 27 year finis hem sei: “Mi hard for tingim sapos enitaem mi mas stap seleva. Marit bilong mitufala hem gohed for kamap moa strong evriday. Diswan hem bikos mitufala lovem Jehovah and evritaem story gud tugeta.” Marit bilong iu savve strong olsem tu!