Fihia ʻi ha Nofo Mali ʻOku ʻIkai ʻI Ai e ʻOfá

“ʻI ha sōsaieti ʻoku lahi fau ai ʻa e vete malí, ʻoku ʻikai ngata pē ʻi he ngalingali ʻe ngata ʻi he veté ʻa e ngaahi nofo mali lahi ʻoku ʻikai ke fiefiá, ka ʻi he tānaki atu ki aí, ko e ngaahi nofo mali lahi ange ʻoku ngalingali ʻe hoko ia ʻo ʻikai ke fiefia.”—KAUTAHA ʻA E NGAAHI FĀMILÍ ʻI ʻAMELIKA.

KUO leaʻaki ʻo pehē ko e lahi ʻo e fiefia ʻi he moʻuí mo e lahi ʻo e mamahí ʻoku haʻu ia mei he matavai tatau—ko ʻete nofo malí. Ko e moʻoni, ko e ngaahi meʻa siʻi pē ʻi he moʻuí ʻoku ʻi ai ʻa e malava ke ne tokonaki mai ʻa e hakailangitau lahi—pe ko e loto-mamahi lahi. Hangē ko ia ʻoku fakahaaʻi ʻi he puha ʻoku fakakau hení, ko e ngaahi hoa mali lahi ʻoku nau hokosia ha tuʻunga lahi fakaʻulia ʻo e loto-mamahí.

Ka ko e fika ʻo e vete malí ʻoku fakaeʻa ai ha konga pē ʻo e palopalemá. He ko e nofo mali taki taha ʻoku ʻikai lavameʻá, ko e ngaahi nofo mali taʻefaʻalaua kehe ʻoku kei hao pē ka ʻoku fihiatuʻu ia ʻi he ngaahi faingataʻa tuʻumaʻu. “Naʻe faʻa hoko homau fāmilí ʻo fiefia, ka ʻi he taʻu ʻe 12 fakamuimuí naʻe kovi ʻaupito ia,” ko e fakamatala ia ʻa ha fefine naʻe mali ʻo laka hake ʻi he taʻu ʻe 30. “ʻOku ʻikai ke mahuʻingaʻia ʻa hoku husepānití ʻi heʻeku ngaahi ongoʻí. Ko e moʻoni ko ia ʻa hoku fili fakaeongo kovi tahá.” ʻI he tuʻunga meimei tatau, ʻoku tangilāulau ha husepāniti ʻo e meimei taʻu ʻe 25: “Kuo tala mai kiate au ʻe hoku uaifí ʻoku ʻikai te ne toe ʻofa ʻiate au. ʻOkú ne pehē kapau te ma kei loki taha pē pea taki taha ʻalu pē ʻi hono hala ʻi heʻene aʻu ki he taimi mālōloó, ʻe lava ke kei kātekina ai ʻa e tuʻungá.”

Ko e moʻoni, ko e niʻihi ʻi he ngaahi tuʻunga faingataʻa ko ʻení ʻoku nau fakangata ʻenau nofo malí. Kae kehe, ki he tokolahi, ʻoku ʻikai te nau fili ke vete mali. Ko e hā hono ʻuhingá? Fakatatau ki he lau ʻa Dr. Karen Kayser, ko e ngaahi meʻa tefito hangē ko e fānaú, fakamā ʻi he koló, ngaahi meʻa fakapaʻangá, ngaahi kaumeʻá, ngaahi kāingá, mo e ngaahi tui fakalotú ʻokú ne pukepuke fakataha nai ha ongo meʻa, naʻa mo e ʻi he tuʻunga ʻoku ʻikai ʻi ai ai ʻa e ʻofá. “ʻI he ʻikai ngalingali ke fai ha vete fakalaó,” ʻokú ne pehē, “ʻoku fili ʻa e ngaahi hoa mali ko ení ke nau kei nofo ai pē mo ha hoa ʻa ia ʻoku nau vete fakaeongo mo ia.”

Kuo pau nai ki ha ongo meʻa ʻa ia kuo momoko ʻa hona vahaʻangataé ke na tuku ai kinaua ki ha moʻui taʻefakafiemālie? Ko e fetongi pē ki he veté ko ha nofo mali ʻoku ʻikai ʻi ai ʻa e ʻofá? ʻOku fakamoʻoniʻi ʻi he meʻa kuo hokosiá ʻoku lava ke haofaki ʻa e ngaahi nofo mali lahi ʻoku faingataʻaʻiá—ʻo ʻikai ngata pē mei he mamahi lahi ʻi he māvaé kae pehē foki mei he loto-mamahi ʻi he ʻikai ʻi ai ʻa e ʻofá.

Ko e Hā ʻOku Vaivai Ai ʻa e ʻOfá?

“ʻOku hā ngali faingofua lahi ange ke fakahaaʻi ʻa e ʻofá ʻi he nofo ʻi he ʻofá.”​—DR. KAREN KAYSER.

KO E tupu fakautuutu ʻa e ngaahi nofo mali ʻoku ʻikai ʻi ai ʻa e ʻofá ʻoku ʻikai nai ke fakaʻohovale. Ko e nofo malí ko ha vahaʻangatae fakaetangata fihi ia, pea ʻoku kau ki ai ʻa e tokolahi fakataha mo e siʻisiʻi ʻenau teuteú. “ʻOku fiemaʻu ke tau fakahāhā ha pōtoʻi ʻi he taimi ʻoku tau maʻu ai ha laiseni fakaʻulí,” ko e fakamatala ia ʻa Dr. Dean S. Edell, “ka ko e ngaahi laiseni malí ʻe lava pē ke maʻu ia ʻi ha fakamoʻoni.”

Ko ia ai, lolotonga ʻa e lakalakaimonū ʻa e ngaahi nofo mali lahi pea nau fiefia moʻoní, ʻoku hokosia ʻe he tokolahi ʻa e mafasia fakaefakakaukau. Mahalo ko e tokotaha pe ko e ongo meʻa malí fakatouʻosi naʻá na kau ki he nofo malí fakataha mo e ngaahi ʻamanaki māʻolunga kae ʻikai ke maʻu ʻa e ngaahi pōtoʻi ʻoku fiemaʻu ki ha vahaʻangatae fuoloá. “ʻI he taimi ʻoku ʻuluaki hoko ai ʻo vāofi ʻa e kakaí,” ko e fakamatala ia ʻa Dr. Harry Reis, “ʻoku nau ongoʻi ai ha ongo lahi fakaʻulia ʻo e fefakapapauʻakí.” ʻOku nau ongoʻi ʻo hangē ko honau hoá “ko e tokotaha kehe pē ia ʻe taha ʻi he foʻi māmaní ʻokú ne maʻu ʻa e fakakaukau tatau mo kinautolú. Ko e ongoʻi ko iá ʻoku vaivai ia ʻi he taimi ʻe niʻihi, pea ʻi heʻene hoko iá, ʻe lava ke mātuʻaki fakatupu maumau lahi ki he nofo malí.”

ʻOku fakafiefiá, he ʻoku ʻikai ke aʻusia ʻe he ngaahi nofo mali lahi ʻa e tuʻunga ko iá. Ka te tau lāulea nounou ki ha niʻihi siʻi ʻo e ngaahi meʻa tefito ʻa ia ʻi he tuʻunga ʻe niʻihi kuo nau fakatupunga ke vaivai ʻa e ʻofá.

ʻAmanaki Tōnoá—“ʻOku ʻIkai ko e Meʻa Ia Naʻá Ku ʻAmanekiná”

“ʻI he taimi naʻá ku mali ai mo Jim,” ko e lau ia ʻa Rose, “naʻá ku fakakaukau te ma hangē ko e Pilinisesi mo e Pilinisi Fakaʻofoʻofa ʻi he fanangá—ko e feʻofaʻaki pē mo e feongoʻiʻaki pea mo e fefakaʻatuʻiʻaki.” Neongo ia, ʻi he hili pē ha taimi, naʻe ʻikai ke kei hā ngali fakaʻofoʻofa ʻa e “pilinisi” ʻa Rose. “Naʻe iku ʻo siva lahi ʻa ʻeku ʻamanaki kiate iá,” ko ʻene leá ia.

Ko e ngaahi heleʻuhilá, ngaahi tohí, mo e ngaahi hiva manakoa lahi ʻoku ʻomai ai ha fakatātā taʻemoʻoni ʻo e ʻofá. Lolotonga ʻa e faisoó, ʻoku ongoʻi nai ai ʻe ha tangata mo ha fefine ʻokú na aʻusia ha misi kuo hoko moʻoni; ka ʻi he hili ha ngaahi taʻu siʻi ʻo e nofo malí, ʻokú na fakaʻosiʻaki ko e moʻoni kuo pau pē naʻá na misi! Kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke fakahoko ʻi heʻete nofo malí ʻa e ngaahi ʻamanaki ʻo e talanoa ki he feʻofaʻakí ʻoku hā ngali taʻelavameʻa fakaʻaufuli nai ia.

Ko e moʻoni, ko e ngaahi ʻamanaki ʻe niʻihi ʻi he nofo malí ʻoku totonu fakakātoa. Ko e fakatātaá, ʻoku feʻungamālie ke ʻamanekina ʻa e ʻofá, tokangá, mo e poupou mei hoto hoá. Ka, naʻa mo e ngaahi fakaʻamu ko ení ʻe lava ke ʻalu taʻefakahoko nai ia. “ʻOku ou meimei ongoʻi ʻe au ʻoku ʻikai te u mali,” ko e lea ia ʻa Meena, ko ha finemui naʻe toki mali ʻi ʻInitia. “ʻOku ou ongoʻi taʻelata mo līʻekina.”

ʻIkai Hoamālie—“ʻOku ʻIkai ha Meʻa Te Ma Faitatau Ai”

“Ko au mo hoku husepānití ʻokú ma fehangahangai nai ʻi he meimei meʻa kotoa pē,” ko e lau ia ʻa ha fefine ʻe taha. “ʻOku ʻikai ke hala ha ʻaho te u taʻefakaʻiseʻisa lahi ai ʻi heʻeku fili ke mali mo iá. ʻOku ʻikai ʻaupito pē te ma hoa lelei.”

ʻOku ʻikai faʻa fuoloa ki ha ongo meʻa mali ke na

ʻOku ʻi Ai ha ʻUhinga ki ha ʻAmanaki?

“Ko e palopalema ʻe taha ʻi he ngaahi nofo mali faingataʻaʻiá ko e tui mālohi ʻo pehē ʻe ʻikai lava ke toe lelei ange ʻa e ngaahi meʻá. Ko ha tui pehē ʻokú ne taʻofi ʻa e liliú koeʻuhi ʻokú ne kaihaʻasi meiate koe ʻa e fakaueʻiloto ke ʻahiʻahiʻi ha meʻa pē ʻe fai ai ha fakalakalaká.”​—DR. AARON T. BECK.

FAKAʻUTA atu ʻoku felāngaaki hao konga pea ʻokú ke ʻalu ki he toketaá ki ha sivi. ʻOkú ke loto-moʻua—pea ʻoku lava ke ʻuhinga lelei ia. He ko ē, ko hoʻo moʻuileleí—naʻa mo hoʻo moʻuí tonu—ʻoku ʻi ha tuʻunga fakatuʻutāmaki nai. Kae mahalo ʻi he hili ʻa e siví, ʻoku tala atu ʻe he toketaá kiate koe ʻa e ongoongo lelei ʻo pehē lolotonga ʻoku ʻikai ko ha meʻa anga-maheni ʻa hoʻo palopalemá, ʻe lava pē ke faitoʻo ia. Ko hono moʻoní, ʻoku tala atu ʻe he toketaá kiate koe kapau te ke tokanga ʻo tauhi maʻu ki ha polokalama lelei ʻo e fakafuofua ʻa e meʻakaí mo e fakamālohi sinó, ʻe lava ke ke ʻamanekina ha toe foki ʻo moʻuilelei kakato. ʻOku ʻikai ha veiveiua te ke ongoʻi fiefia lahi pea fiefia ke muimui ki heʻene fakahinohinó!

Fakahoa angé ʻa e talanoa ko ení ki he kaveinga ʻoku fai ki ai ʻa e lāuleá. ʻOkú ke hokosia ha mamahi ʻi hoʻo nofo malí? Ko e moʻoni, ko e nofo mali kotoa pē ʻe ʻi ai ʻene kaunga ki he ngaahi palopalema mo e ngaahi taʻefelotoi. Ko ia, ko hono maʻu pē ha ngaahi mōmeniti faingataʻa ʻi ho vahaʻangataé ʻoku ʻikai ke ʻuhinga ia aí kuó ke maʻu ha nofo mali ʻoku ʻikai ʻi ai ʻa e ʻofá. Kae fēfē kapau ko e tuʻunga fakamamahí ʻoku hokohoko atu ia ʻi ha ngaahi uike, ngaahi māhina, pe naʻa mo ha ngaahi taʻu? Kapau ko ia, ʻoku totonu ʻa hoʻo hohaʻá, he ʻoku ʻikai ko ha meʻa launoa eni. Ko e moʻoni, ko e anga ʻo hoʻo nofo malí ʻe lava ke ne uesia ʻa e meimei tafaʻaki kotoa pē ʻo hoʻo moʻuí—pea mo e moʻui ko ia ʻa hoʻo fānaú. Hangē ko ení, ʻoku ʻi ai ʻa e tui, ko e faingataʻa fakaemalí ʻe lava ke hoko ia ko ha meʻa tefito lahi ʻoku hoko ai ʻa e ngaahi palopalema hangē ko e loto-mafasiá, hōloa ʻa e pōtoʻi ngāué, pea mo e taʻelavameʻa ʻa e fānaú ʻi he ʻapiakó. Ka ʻoku ʻikai ko ʻene ngatá ia. ʻOku ʻiloʻi ʻe he kau Kalisitiané ko e vahaʻangatae ʻoku nau maʻu mo honau hoá ʻe lava ke ne uesia ʻa honau vahaʻangatae tonu mo e ʻOtuá.​—1 Pita 3:7.

Ko e moʻoniʻi meʻa ko ia ʻo e ʻi ai ʻa e ngaahi palopalema ʻi ho vā mo ho hoa malí ʻoku ʻikai ʻuhinga ai ia ʻoku ʻikai ha toe ʻamanaki ki he tuʻunga ko iá. Ko e fehangahangai mo e tuʻunga moʻoni ʻi he nofo malí—ʻa ia ʻe ʻi ai ʻa e ngaahi faingataʻá—ʻe lava ke ne tokoniʻi ha ongo meʻa ke tuku ʻena ngaahi palopalemá ki hono tuʻunga totonú peá na ngāue ki ha ngaahi fakaleleiʻanga. ʻOku pehē ʻe ha husepāniti ko hono hingoá ko Isaac: “Naʻe ʻikai haʻaku fakakaukau ʻoku anga-maheni ʻaki pē ki he ngaahi hoa malí ke fetōʻaki ʻa e tuʻunga ʻo ʻenau fiefiá ʻi ha ʻalunga ʻo ha nofo mali. Naʻá ku fakakaukau au naʻe ʻi ai ʻa e meʻa ʻoku fehālaaki ʻiate kimaua!”

Kapau ʻoku aʻu ʻo hōloa ʻa hoʻo nofo malí ki ha tuʻunga ʻoku ʻikai ʻi ai ʻa e ʻofá, ʻe lava pē ke haofaki. Ko hono moʻoní, ko e ngaahi kafo fakaeongo ʻoku tupu mei ha vahaʻangatae hohaʻá ʻoku loloto nai ia, tautefito kapau ko e ngaahi palopalemá kuo hokohoko ia ʻi ha ngaahi taʻu. Neongo ia, ʻoku ʻi ai ʻa e ʻuhinga mālohi ki he ʻamanakí. Ko e fakaueʻilotó ko ha meʻa tefito mahuʻinga ia. Naʻa mo e ongo meʻa ʻe toko ua ʻoku ʻi ai

Ko Hoʻo Nofo Malí ʻE Lava ke Haofaki!

ʻOku lahi ʻi he Tohitapú ʻa e akonaki ʻaonga ʻa ia ʻoku lava ke ʻaonga ki he ngaahi husepānití mo e ngaahi uaifí. ʻOku ʻikai meimei fai ha ofo ʻi he meʻá ni, he ko e Tokotaha naʻá ne fakamānavaʻi ʻa e Tohitapú ko e toe Tupuʻanga ia ʻo e fokotuʻutuʻu ki he nofo malí.

ʻOKU fakamatalaʻi ʻe he Tohitapú ʻa e nofo malí ʻi ha tuʻunga moʻoni. ʻOkú ne fakahā ko e husepānití mo e uaifí te na maʻu ʻa e “mamahi,” pe hangē ko hono fakalea ia ʻe he New English Bible, ko e “langa mo e mamahi.” (1 Kolinito 7:​28) Ka, ʻoku toe pehē ʻe he Tohitapú ʻoku lava pea ʻoku totonu ke fakatupu ʻe he nofo malí ʻa e fiefia, naʻa mo e hākailangitau. (Palovepi 5:​18, 19) ʻOku ʻikai ke fepaki ʻa e ongo fakakaukau ko ení. ʻOkú na fakahaaʻi pē neongo ʻa e ngaahi palopalema mafatukitukí, ʻe lava ke maʻu ʻe ha ongo meʻa mali ha vahaʻangatae vāofi mo ʻofa.