Bazali—Baqeqesheni Ngothando Abantwana Benu
“Zonke izinto zenu mazenziwe ngothando.”—1 KORINTE 16:14.
1. Bavakalelwa njani abazali xa kuzalwa umntwana?
INKOLISO yabazali iyavuma ukuba ukuzalwa komntwana kuyenye yezona zinto zivuyisayo ebomini. Omnye umama ogama linguAleah uthi: “Ndandingaziva yimincili ndisakubona intombi yethu eyayisandul’ ukuzalwa. Yayingathi ndiyaqal’ ukubon’ umntwan’ omhle ebomini bam.” Noko ke, maxa wambi olo chulumanco lusenokubaxhalabisa abazali. Umyeni ka-Aleah uthi: “Into endixhalabisayo kukuba, kazi ndiza kukwazi na ukuyinceda intombi yam imelane neenzingo zobomi.” Yinkxalabo leyo abanayo abazali abaninzi, yaye bayakuqonda ukubaluleka kokuqeqesha abantwana babo ngothando. Kodwa ke, akukho lula ngabazali abangamaKristu ukubaqeqesha ngaloo ndlela abantwana babo. Ziziphi iingxaki abasenokujamelana nazo?
2. Ziziphi iingxaki abajamelene nazo abazali?
2 Ngoku singasekupheleni kwemihla yokugqibela yale nkqubo. Njengoko kwakuprofetiwe, abantu abanalo uthando namhlanje. Kwanamalungu entsapho ‘awanawo umsa wemvelo, awanambulelo, awanyanisekanga, awanakuzeyisa, yaye aziindlobongela.’ (2 Timoti 3:1-5) Ngenxa yokuba iintsapho zamaKristu ziphila phakathi kwabantu abanjalo, zisenokuwusezela loo moya. Ngaphezu koko, ngenxa yokungafezeki abazali basenokuswela ukuzeyisa, bathethe amazwi ahlabayo bengacinganga, okanye benze izigqibo ezingachananga.—Roma 3:23; Yakobi 3:2, 8, 9.
3. Abazali banokubenza njani bonwabe abantwana babo?
3 Nangona bejamelene nezi ngxaki, abazali banako ukubenza bonwabe yaye bomelele ngokomoya abantwana babo. Njani? Ngokuthi basebenzise icebiso leBhayibhile elithi: “Zonke izinto zenu mazenziwe ngothando.” (1 Korinte 16:14) Eneneni, uthando “lungumxokelelwane ogqibeleleyo.” (Kolose 3:14) Makhe sihlolisise iinkalo ezintathu zothando ezichazwa ngumpostile uPawulos kwincwadi yakhe yokuqala kwabaseKorinte, size sihlolisise neendlela ezingqalileyo abazali abanokuzisebenzisa ngazo xa beqeqesha abantwana babo.—1 Korinte 13:4-8.
Ukubaluleka Kokuzeka Kade Umsindo
4. Kutheni abazali befanele bazeke kade umsindo?
4 UPawulos wabhala wathi: “Uthando luzeka kade umsindo.” (1 Korinte 13:4) Igama lesiGrike eliguqulelwe ngokuthi “luzeka kade umsindo” lithetha ukuba nomonde nokungakhawulezi uqumbe. Kutheni abazali befanele bazeke kade umsindo? Ngokungathandabuzekiyo zininzi izizathu abazali abanokucinga ngazo. Khawuqwalasele nje ezi zimbalwa. Abantwana abadli ngakucela kube kanye kuphela xa kukho into abayifunayo. Nokuba umzali wala ngokupheleleyo, umntwana usenokumcenga kaninzi, ngethemba lokuba uza kude avume. Ulutsha lusenokuphikisana nabazali luzama ukubeyisela ekubeni baluvumele lwenze into ebubudenge. (IMizekeliso 22:15) Yaye njengathi sonke, abantwana badla ngokuziphinda iimpazamo ababezenze ngaphambili.—INdumiso 130:3.
5. Yintoni enokunceda abazali bazeke kade umsindo?
5 Yintoni enokunceda abazali bazeke kade umsindo yaye babe nomonde ebantwaneni babo? UKumkani uSolomon wabhala wathi: “Ingqiqo yomntu ngokuqinisekileyo imenza azeke kade umsindo.” (IMizekeliso 19:11) Abazali baya kuyiqonda ngakumbi indlela abacinga ngayo abantwana babo xa bekhumbula ukuba nabo ekukhuleni kwabo ‘babethetha ngokosana, becinga ngokosana, beqiqa ngokosana.’ (1 Korinte 13:11) Bazali, niyakhumbula kusini na nifundekela abazali benu nicela izinto ezingeyomfuneko? Ebutsheni bakho, ngaba wakha waqiqa ngelokuba abazali bakho abayiqondi indlela ovakalelwa ngayo neengxaki ojamelene nazo? Ukuba kunjalo, umele ukuba uyiqonda ngakumbi indlela abaqiqa ngayo abantwana bakho, nesizathu sokuba ufanele ubakhumbuze ngomonde ngezigqibo ozenzileyo. (Kolose 4:6) Kubalulekile ukuphawula ukuba uYehova wayalela abazali abangamaSirayeli ukuba ‘babethelele’ imithetho yakhe ebantwaneni babo. (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Igama lesiHebhere eliguqulelwe ngokuthi ‘ukubethelela’ lithetha “ukuphindaphinda,” “ukugxininisa.” Oku kubonisa ukuba kusenokufuneka abazali baphindaphinde kaninzi ngaphambi kokuba umntwana afunde ukusebenzisa imithetho kaThixo. Ukuphindaphinda okunjalo kudla ngokufuneka nakwezinye iinkalo zobomi.
6. Kutheni umzali ozeka kade umsindo engafani nomzali onguvula-zibhuqe?
6 Noko ke, umzali ozeka kade umsindo akafani nomzali onguvula-zibhuqe. ILizwi likaThixo lilumkisa ngelithi: “Inkwenkwe eyekelelwayo iya kumhlazisa unina.” Kodwa linikela eli cebiso: “Intonga nesohlwayo zinika ubulumko.” (IMizekeliso 29:15) Ngamany’ amaxesha abantwana basenokuvakalelwa kukuba abazali abanalungelo lakubohlwaya. Kodwa iintsapho zamaKristu azimele zifane nolalulawulo lwedemokhrasi, ngoko ilungelo labazali lokumisela imithetho alixhomekekanga ekuvumeni kwabantwana. Kunoko, uYehova oyiNtloko yentsapho, unike abazali igunya lokuqeqesha abantwana babo ngothando. (1 Korinte 11:3; Efese 3:15; 6:1-4) Enyanisweni, uqeqesho luhlobene kakhulu nenkalo elandelayo yothando ayikhankanyayo uPawulos.
Indlela Yokuqeqesha Ngothando
7. Kutheni abazali abanobubele bebaqeqesha abantwana babo, yaye yintoni ebandakanyekileyo kuqeqesho olunjalo?
7 UPawulos wabhala wathi “uthando . . . lunobubele.” (1 Korinte 13:4) Abazali abanobubele ngokwenene baya kubanika ingqeqesho ethe rhoqo abantwana babo. Ngaloo ndlela, baya kuba baxelisa uYehova. UPawulos wathi: “Lowo uYehova amthandayo uyamqeqesha.” Nceda uphawule ukuba xa iBhayibhile ithetha ngoqeqesho ayibhekiseli nje kuphela ekohlwayeni. Ubukhulu becala ibhekisela ekufundiseni. Yintoni injongo yoqeqesho olunjalo? UPawulos uthi, ‘Luvelisa isiqhamo soxolo, oko kukuthi, ubulungisa, kwabo baqeqeshiweyo.’ (Hebhere 12:6, 11) Xa abazali bebafundisa ngobubele abantwana babo ngokuvumelana nokuthanda kukaThixo, babavulela ithuba lokuba bakhule beseluxolweni yaye bethe tye. Ukuba abantwana bayayamkela “ingqeqesho kaYehova,” baya kuzuza ubulumko, ulwazi nokuqonda—zinto ezo ezixabiseke ngaphezu kwesilivere negolide.—IMizekeliso 3:11-18.
8. Yintoni edla ngokwenzeka xa abazali bengabaqeqeshi abantwana babo?
8 Kwelinye icala, abazali babonisa ukungabi nabubele xa bengabaqeqeshi abantwana babo. UYehova waphefumlela uSolomon ukuba abhale athi: “Oyiyekileyo intonga yakhe umthiyile unyana wakhe, kodwa omthandayo umfunela ingqeqesho.” (IMizekeliso 13:24) Abantwana abangafumananga ingqeqesho ethe rhoqo badla ngokucingela iziqu zabo kuphela yaye bangonwabi. Kanti bona abantwana abanabazali abanovelwano nababaqeqesha rhoqo baqhuba kakuhle ngakumbi esikolweni, kulula ngabo ukwenza abahlobo, yaye bonwabile. Ngoko ngokuqinisekileyo, abazali ababaqeqeshayo abantwana babo babonisa ububele kubo.
9. Yintoni abazali abangamaKristu abayifundisa abantwana babo, yaye yintoni abantwana abafanele bayazi?
9 Yintoni abafanele bayenze abazali ukuze baqeqeshe abantwana babo ngobubele nangothando? Bafanele babachazele ngokucacileyo abantwana oko bafanele bakwenze. Ngokomzekelo, abantwana bamaKristu bafundiswa kwasebusaneni imigaqo eyintloko yeBhayibhile nokuba babe nenxaxheba kwiinkalo ezithile zonqulo lokwenyaniso. (Eksodus 20:12-17; Mateyu 22:37-40; 28:19; Hebhere 10:24, 25) Abantwana bafanele bazi ukuba kunyanzelekile ukuba bakwenze oku.
10, 11. Kutheni abazali befanele bazisabele iimbono zabantwana babo xa bemisela imithetho yasekhaya?
10 Noko ke, maxa wambi abazali basenokubaquka abantwana xa bexoxa ngemithetho yasekhaya. Xa abantwana benenxaxheba ekuxoxeni ngaloo mithetho, kuya kuba lula ngabo ukuyithobela. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba abazali bafuna ukumisela ixesha abantwana abamele babe sekhaya ngalo, basenokulikhetha ngokwabo. Okanye basenokuvumela abantwana ukuba bacebise ixesha abalikhethayo yaye bachaze nezizathu zokuba bakhethe elo xesha. Emva koko abazali banokuchaza ixesha abalikhethayo kwanesizathu sokuba bakhethe elo xesha. Kuthekani ukuba ababoni ngasonye, njengoko kusenokwenzeka? Kwezinye iimeko, abazali basenokugqiba kwelokuba bayamkele imbono yabantwana babo xa ingangqubani nemigaqo yeBhayibhile. Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba abazali baphulukana negunya labo?
11 Ukuze kuphenduleke lo mbuzo, khawuhlolisise indlela uYehova awalisebenzisa ngothando ngayo igunya lakhe kuLote nentsapho yakhe. Zakuba iingelosi zimkhuphile uLote, umfazi wakhe, neentombi zakhe eSodom, zathi kubo: ‘Balekelani kummandla weentaba kuba hleze nitshayelwe!’ Kodwa uLote waphendula wathi: “Hayi, khawuncede, Yehova!” Emva koko uLote wacebisa enye indawo wathi: “Khawuncede, kaloku, esi sixeko sikufuphi ukuba ndingabalekela kuso kwaye siyinto encinane. Ndiyacela, bendingenako na ukubalekela kuso?” Wathini uYehova? Wathi: “Yabona, ndinolwazelelelo ngawe ukusa nakweli nqanaba.” (Genesis 19:17-22) Ngaba uYehova waphulukana negunya lakhe? Ngokuqinisekileyo akunjalo! Kodwa wasiphulaphula isicelo sikaLote waza wakhetha ukubonisa ububele kuye kule nkalo. Ukuba ungumzali, kutheni maxa wambi ungakhe uzisabele iimbono zabantwana bakho xa umisela imithetho yentsapho?
12. Yintoni enokunceda umntwana amthembe umzali wakhe?
12 Noko ke, abantwana abafanele bazi imithetho kuphela, kodwa bafanele bazi nesohlwayo sokuyaphula. Sakuba sichaziwe isohlwayo saza saqondakala, imithetho ifanele ibethelelwe. Abazali ababonisi bubele xa besoloko bebathembisa ngokubohlwaya abantwana babo kodwa bangade babohlwaye. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ngenxa yokuba isigwebo nxamnye nomsebenzi ombi singaphunyezwa ngokukhawuleza, ngoko intliziyo yoonyana babantu izele ngaphakathi kwabo kukwenza okubi.” (INtshumayeli 8:11) Enyanisweni, umzali usenokukuphepha ukohlwaya umntwana esidlangalaleni okanye phambi kwabanye abantwana, ukuze loo mntwana angaphoxeki. Kodwa abantwana babathemba baze babahloniphe ngakumbi abazali babo xa besazi ukuba “uEwe” wabo nguewe, ‘noHayi’ wabo nguhayi—kwanokuba oko kusenokuthetha ukohlwaywa kwabo.—Mateyu 5:37.
13, 14. Abazali banokumxelisa njani uYehova xa beqeqesha abantwana?
13 Ukuze isohlwayo sibe sesobubele, simele sivisisane nemeko yomntwana. UPam uthi: “Abantwana bethu ababini babesabela ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kuqeqesho. Uqeqesho olwalusebenza komnye umntwana lwalungasebenzi komnye.” Umyeni wakhe uLarry uthi: “Intombi yethu yamazibulo yayilukhuni, ngoko yayisabela kuphela xa iqeqeshwa ngokungqongqo. Kodwa yona intombi encinane wawuyingxolisa nje kube kanye okanye uyijamele kuphela, ikhawuleze isabele.” Ngoko abazali abanobubele bahlolisisa ngenyameko uqeqesho olusebenzayo kumntwana ngamnye.
14 UYehova ubamisela umzekelo abazali, kuba uyakwazi ukomelela nobuthathaka bomkhonzi ngamnye wakhe. (Hebhere 4:13) Yaye xa enikela isohlwayo, akabi ngqongqo okanye ayekelele ngokugqithiseleyo. Kodwa usoloko ebaqeqesha abantu bakhe ‘ngomlinganiselo ofanelekileyo.’ (Yeremiya 30:11) Bazali, ngaba niyakwazi ukomelela nobuthathaka babantwana benu? Ngaba nilusebenzisa ngendlela ephumelelayo nangobubele olo lwazi xa nibaqeqesha? Ukuba nenjenjalo, niya kuba nibonisa ukuba niyabathanda abantwana benu.
Khuthaza Abantwana Ukuba Bathethe Ngokunyanisekileyo
15, 16. Abazali banokubanceda njani abantwana bathethe ngokunyanisekileyo, yaye yiyiphi indlela yokwenza oku abaye abazali abangamaKristu bayifumanisa isebenza?
15 Enye inkalo yothando kukuba “alubi nemihlali ngentswela-bulungisa, kodwa luvuyisana nenyaniso.” (1 Korinte 13:6) Abazali banokubafundisa njani abantwana babo ukuba bathande ubulungisa nenyaniso? Okubalulekileyo kukuba babakhuthaze abantwana babo ukuba bazichaze ngokunyanisekileyo iimvakalelo zabo, kwanokuba oko bakuthethayo kuyabacaphukisa abazali. Iyaqondakala into yokuba, abazali bayavuya xa abantwana bechaza iingcamango neemvakalelo zabo ezivisisanayo nemigaqo yobulungisa. Kodwa ke, maxa wambi umntwana usenokuvakalisa iingcamango ezibonisa ukuba utyekele kwintswela-bulungisa. (Genesis 8:21) Bafanele basabele njani abazali? Basenokucaphuka baze bafun’ ukumbetha umntwana. Kodwa ukuba abazali basabela ngaloo ndlela, kwixesha elizayo abantwana basenokuthetha kuphela oko bacinga ukuba abazali bafuna ukukuva. Enyanisweni, intetho engabonisi ntlonipho ifanele ilungiswe ngoko nangoko, kodwa kukho umahluko phakathi kokufundisa umntwana indlela yokuthetha ngentlonipho nokumgqibela oko amele akuthethe.
16 Abazali banokubakhuthaza njani abantwana ukuba bathethe ngokunyanisekileyo? UAleah okhankanywe ngaphambilana uthi, “Sibakhuthaza abantwana bethu ukuba bathethe ngokukhululekileyo ngokuthi singagqabhuki ngumsindo xa bethetha izinto ezicaphukisayo.” Omnye utata ogama linguTom uthi: “Sasiyikhuthaza intombi yethu ukuba ithethe ngokukhululekileyo nathi, nokuba ayivumelani nendlela esicinga ngayo. Sasivakalelwa kukuba ukuba siyibeth’ emlonyeni qho xa ithetha size sinyanzelise iimbono zethu, yayiza kucaphuka ize ingasixeleli oko kusentliziyweni yayo. Kwelinye icala, ukuyiphulaphula kwethu kwakuyikhuthaza ukuba nayo isiphulaphule.” Ngokuqinisekileyo, abantwana bafanele babathobele abazali babo. (IMizekeliso 6:20) Kodwa xa bevunyelwa ukuba bathethe ngokukhululekileyo, oko kubavulela ithuba abazali lokuba babancede bakwazi ukuqiqa. UVincent onabantwana abane uthi: “Sasidla ngokuncokola ngeengenelo neengozi zemeko ethile, ukuze abantwana bethu bazibonele ngokwabo elona khondo lifanelekileyo bafanele balilandele. Oku kwabanceda bakwazi ukuqiqa.”—IMizekeliso 1:1-4.
17. Yintoni abanokuqiniseka ngayo abazali?
17 Noko ke, akakho umzali onokusisebenzisa ngokugqibeleleyo isiluleko seBhayibhile sendlela yokukhulisa abantwana. Sekunjalo, unokuqiniseka ukuba abantwana bakho baya kuyixabisa ngokunzulu imigudu yakho yokubaqeqesha ngomonde, ngobubele, nangothando. Ngokuqinisekileyo uYehova uya kuyisikelela imizamo yakho yokwenjenjalo. (IMizekeliso 3:33) Enyanisweni, bonke abazali abangamaKristu bafuna ukuba abantwana babo bafunde ukumthanda uYehova ngendlela nabo abamthanda ngayo. Banokulufikelela njani olu sukelo lubalaseleyo? Inqaku elilandelayo liza kuxubusha iindlela ezithile ezingqalileyo abanokukwenza ngazo oko.
Ngaba Uyakhumbula?
• Ukubonisa ingqiqo kunokumnceda njani umzali azeke kade umsindo?
• Ububele buhlobene njani noqeqesho?
• Kutheni kubalulekile nje ukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo kwabazali nabantwana?
[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 23]
Bazali, ngaba niyakhumbula ukuba kwakunjani ukuba ngumntwana?
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 24]
Ngaba ukhuthaza abantwana bakho ukuba bathethe ngokunyanisekileyo nangokukhululekileyo?