Asihlali Nabo Kodwa Asibalibali

UMPOSTILE uPawulos wabongoza amaKristu esithi: “Masenze okulungileyo kubo bonke, ngokukodwa kwabo bahlobene nathi elukholweni.” (Gal. 6:10) Nanamhlanje sithobela olo lwalathiso luphefumlelweyo size sikhangele iindlela esinokwenza ngazo okulungileyo kubazalwana bethu. Phakathi kwabo simele sinikele ingqalelo nothando kubo ebandleni ngabazalwana noodadewethu abathandekayo abahlala kumakhaya abalupheleyo.

Yinyaniso ukuba kwamanye amazwe sisithethe into yokuba intsapho inyamekele abazali bayo abakhulileyo ekhaya. Kodwa kwamanye, abantu abakhulileyo banyanyekelwa kumakhaya abalupheleyo. Kuthekani ngamaKristu akhulileyo ahlala kula makhaya abalupheleyo? Ziziphi iingxaki ajamelana nazo? Anokwenza njani xa engasenabani kwiintsapho zawo? Ibandla lamaKristu linokuwanceda njani? Ziziphi iindlela esincedakala ngazo ngokusoloko siwatyelela?

Iingxaki Ezifumaneka Kumakhaya Abalupheleyo

Xa amaKristu akhulileyo esiya kuhlala kwikhaya labalupheleyo, angazibona sekwibandla angaziwayo kulo. Ngenxa yoko, amaNgqina elo bandla asenokungacingi ngokuhlala etyelela ezi nkonde. Enye into, kwikhaya labalupheleyo, asenokuhlala nabantu abaneenkolelo ezahlukileyo kwezawo. Oku kunokuzenza nzima iimeko zabazalwana bethu abalupheleyo.

Ngokomzekelo, kwezinye iindawo amakhaya abalupheleyo aye alungiselele ukuba kubekho icawa eqhutywa kwelo khaya. Omnye umntu osebenza apho wathi: “Ezinye iinkonde zamaNgqina ezingakwaziyo ukuthetha kakuhle ziye ziqhutywe ngezitulo ezinamavili zisiwe ecaweni kungakhange kubuzwe enoba ziyafuna kusini na.” Nabo abasebenzi bala makhaya basoloko besenza imibhiyozo yemihla yokuzalwa, iKrismesi, okanye iPasika ngenjongo yokonwabisa ezi nkonde. Amanye amaNgqina anikwa ukutya ebezingenakuwavumela izazela zawo ukuba akutye. (IZe. 15:29) Ukuba sibatyelela rhoqo abazalwana noodadewethu abalupheleyo, siya kukwazi ukubanceda kwiingxaki ezinjalo.

Ukuxhaswa Libandla

AmaKristu enkulungwane yokuqala ayeyiphaphele imbopheleleko yokunyamekela ezi nkonde xa zingenabani. (1 Tim. 5:9) Nanamhlanje, abaveleli bayaqinisekisa ukuba ziyanyanyekelwa iinkonde ezihlala kwikhaya labalupheleyo elikummandla wabo.a URobert ongumdala uthi: “Bekuya kuba kuhle ukuba abaveleli abangamaKristu bazityelele ngokoqobo ezi ngwevu ukuze babone iimeko eziphila kuzo baze bathandaze kunye nazo. Zininzi izinto ezinokwenziwa libandla ukuze lizinyamekele.” Ukuba sizipha ixesha sizityelele, oko kuya kubonisa ukuba siyayiqonda indlela ekubaluleke ngayo kuYehova ukunyamekela abo basweleyo.—Yak. 1:27.

Xa kuyimfuneko, ngokuzithandela abadala benza amalungiselelo okunceda abazalwana noodadewabo abakumakhaya abalupheleyo. URobert uthi xa echaza izinto abasenokufuna ukuncedwa ngazo aba bazalwana: “Simele sibakhuthaze babekho kwiintlanganiso xa benako.” Noko ke, abo bangenako ukuya kwiHolo yoBukumkani, abadala banokubanceda ngezinye iindlela. UJacqueline, oneminyaka engaphaya kwama-80 nokhathazwa ngamathambo, uziphulaphula ngefowuni iintlanganiso. Uthi: “Ithetha lukhulu kum into yokuphulaphula iintlanganiso kanye ngexesha eziqhubeka ngalo. Akukho nto inokundenza ndiphoswe zizo.”

Ukuba umKristu owalupheleyo akakwazi kuphulaphula iintlanganiso ngomnxeba, abadala banokulungiselela ukuba afumane ezirekhodiweyo. Umntu ophathela udade okanye umzalwana ezo ntlanganiso zirekhodiweyo kwikhaya labalupheleyo unokusebenzisa elo thuba ukuze ancokole naye. Omnye umveleli uthi: “Ukuncokola nabantu abadala ngamalungu ebandla kubenza bazive beyinxalenye yebandla.”

Ukugcina Unxibelelwano

Siyaqondakala isizathu sokuba kube nzima kwezi nkonde ukuhlala kula makhaya de ezininzi zizive zilahliwe. Ngenxa yoko, abanye baye bazinxweme ebantwini. Noko ke, ukuba sikhawuleza sibatyelele abazalwana noodadewethu emva nje kokuba befike apho sibaqinisekisa ukuba siza kuhlala sibanyamekela, oko kunokubanceda babe noxolo baze bavuye.—IMize. 17:22.

Ukuba ezi ngwevu zithe ukuphazamiseka apha engqondweni okanye iindlebe zithande ukuqina okanye zinezinye iingxaki ezenza kube nzima ukuncokola nazo, abanye banokuvakalelwa kukuba asikho isizathu sokuzityelela. Noko ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunzima kangakanani na ukuthetha nazo, imigudu yethu yokuzityelela ibonisa ukuba ‘siyakhokela ekuboniseni imbeko’ kubazalwana bethu. (Roma 12:10) Ukuba umzalwana okhulileyo sele ethanda ukulibala, sinokumkhuthaza ngokuba asibalisele amava akhe—nkqu nalawo obuntwana—okanye asibalisele indlela awayifumana ngayo inyaniso yeBhayibhile. Yintoni thina esinokuyenza ukuba ulahlekelwa ngamazwi afuna ukuwatsho? Simele simphulaphule ngomonde, size xa kufanelekile sitsho abe mabini mathathu kuloo mazwi sibona ukuba aphuma nzima, okanye sigqibezele loo nto ebeyithetha ukuze ahlabele mgama. Ukuba uxakanisekile okanye kunzima ukukhupha amazwi yaye asimva kakuhle, sisenokuzama ukuva oko akutshoyo ngokunikela ingqalelo kwilizwi lakhe.

Ukuba akasakwazi kwaphela ukuthetha, sinokuzama nezinye iindlela. ULaurence, onguvulindlela uhlala etyelela uMadeleine, udade oneminyaka engama-80 ubudala nongasakwaziyo ukuthetha. ULaurence uthi xa echaza indlela ancokola ngayo naye: “Ndimbamba ngesandla njengoko sithandaza kunye. Naye uye azame ukuqinisa esam aze aqhwanyazise amehlo ebonisa ukukuxabisa kwakhe oko.” Ukubamba izandla zaba bahlobo bethu balupheleyo okanye ukubanga ngobubele kubaqinisekisa ngokwenene ukuba siyabathanda.

Ubukho Nje Bethu Buthetha Lukhulu

Ukutyelela kwakho abakhulileyo kunokuyiphucula indlela abanyanyekelwa ngayo. UDanièle, obesoloko etyelela amaNgqina akwikhaya labalupheleyo kangangeminyaka engama-20, uthi: “Xa abasebenzi balapho bebona ukuba umntu utyelelwa rhoqo, baye bamkhathalele ngakumbi.” URobert okhankanywe ngasentla uthi: “Abasebenzi abakwikhaya labalupheleyo bayamphulaphula umntu ohlala etyelela apho. Basenokungabi naxesha lakhe umntu abambona ngelo xesha nelo xesha ongafane afike.” Ekubeni behlala behlangabezana neentsapho ezithanda ukunyanzelisa, bawaxabisa gqitha amazwi ombulelo abantu abatyeleleyo. Ukuba sakha ubuhlobo obuhle nabo, bakulungela ngakumbi ukuhlonela imilinganiselo neenkolelo zamaNgqina abawanyamekelayo.

Ubuhlobo sinokubakha nangokucela ukuncedisa kwimisebenzi ethile. Kwezinye iindawo, ukunqongophala kwabasebenzi abafanelekayo kwenza kube nzima ukunyamekela abantu abadala. URébecca, onyamekela abantu abadala uthi: “Kuba nzima ngokwenene ngamaxesha okudla. La isenokuba ngamaxesha afanelekileyo okutyelela ukuze sincedise ekutyiseni aba bahlobo bethu.” Asimele sibe madolw’ anzima ukubuza apho sinokufak’ isandla khona.

Xa sityelela rhoqo kula makhaya, siya kuzibona izinto abazisweleyo oodade nabazalwana bethu size ngemvume yabasebenzi balapho sizame ukubanceda kuzo. Ngokomzekelo sinokuhombisa amagumbi abo ngeefoto zezihlobo zabo okanye imizobo eyenziwe ngabantwana. Xa sibacingela, sinokubaphathela impahla efudumeleyo, neentwana-ntwana abaza kuzisebenzisa, mhlawumbi xa behlamba. Ukuba kukho isitiya kwelo khaya, sinokuphuma nabo phandle babethwe ngumoya. ULaurence okhankanywe ngaphambili uthi: “UMadeleine ukhangela phambili ekufikeni kwam veki nganye. Xa ndisiza nabantwana, utsho ngoncumo namehlo akhe avuleke luvuyo.” Zizinto ezifana nezo ezinokwenza kube lula kubazalwana bethu abahlala kula makhaya.—IMize. 3:27.

Wonk’ Ubani Uyangenelwa Kula Matyelelo

Ukutyelela rhoqo umntu owalupheleyo kungasivavanya sitsho sazi ‘ukuba uthando lwethu lolokwenene kusini na.’ (2 Kor. 8:8) Kungasivavanya njani? Kunokuba buhlungu ukubona umhlobo wethu esiya ephela. ULaurence uthi: “Ekuqaleni, ndandikhathazeka gqitha kukubona uMadeleine esiba buthathaka ngakumbi kangangokuba ndandikhala rhoqo xa ndimtyelele. Kodwa ndafumanisa ukuba ukuzingisa emthandazweni kunokusinceda siyeke ukoyika size somelele ngakumbi.” Kangangeminyaka, uRobert ebetyelela umzalwana uLarry onesifo sikaParkinson. URobert uthi: “Kangangendlela agula ngayo uLarry andiseva nento ayithethayo. Kodwa xa sithandaza kunye, ndiye ndiluve ukholo analo.”

Xa sityelela abazalwana bethu abalupheleyo, asincedi nje bona kuphela, nathi siyancedakala. Ukuzimisela kwabo ukuhlala besondele kuYehova nakuba behlala nabantu abaneenkolelo ezahlukileyo kusifundisa ukuba nokholo nesibindi. Ukulangazelela kwabo ukutya kokomoya nakuba sekunzima ukuva nokubona kuyenza icace into yokuba “akaphili ngasonka sodwa umntu, uphila ngamazwi onke aphuma emlonyeni kaYehova.” (Mat. 4:4) Ekubeni besaneliswa nazizinto ezincinane, njengoncumo lomntwana okanye ukutya ndawonye nabanye, abantu abadala basikhumbuza ukubaluleka kokwanela zizinto esinazo. Ukuthanda kwabo izinto zokomoya kunokusinceda sibeke izinto ezibalulekileyo kwindawo yazo.

Enyanisweni, lonke ibandla liyangenelwa xa sinyamekela abakhulileyo. Lingenelwa njani? Ekubeni abo babuthathaka emzimbeni bexhomekeke ngakumbi kumsa wabazalwana, ibandla litsho lifumane amathuba okubonisa uvelwano. Ngoko, ukunyamekela abakhulileyo, enoba lixesha elide, sonke simele sikujonge njengendlela yokulungiselelana. (1 Pet. 4:10, 11) Ukuba abadala bahamba phambili kulo msebenzi, baya kunceda nabanye ebandleni babone ukuba le yinkalo engamele ityeshelwe. (Hez. 34:15, 16) Xa sibanyamekela ngokuzithandela nangothando abazalwana bethu abalupheleyo, siyabaqinisekisa ukuba asibalibali.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 28]

“Xa abasebenzi balapho bebona ukuba umntu utyelelwa rhoqo, baye bamkhathalele ngakumbi”

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Imithandazo yethu yokunyaniseka inokunceda umzalwana wethu osele ekhulile abe noxolo lwengqondo

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 26]

Ububele bethu buya kubomeleza abazalwana bethu abalupheleyo