Ukuthintela Ukubuya Kwemikhwa Emibi
“NDIPHUMELELE! Ekugqibeleni idabi liphelile!”
Loo mazwi abonakalisa imvakalelo yoloyiso aba nayo umntu oye walwela ukoyisa umkhwa onganqwenelekiyo noye wawoyisa.
Kanti, hayi indlela anokukhathazeka ngayo loo mntu ukuba loo mkhwa unokubuya! Hayi indlela okudanisa ngayo ukufumanisa ukuba umkhwa ombi, ekwakucingwa ukuba umke naphakade, uye wabuya ngokumangalisayo nangamandla!
Mhlawumbi ukhe wanamava okubuyela kumkhwa ombi owawukufuna kakhulu ukuwoyisa. Ukuba kunjalo, usenokuqalisa ukuwathandabuza amandla akho okukuyeka ngokupheleleyo oko ungakufuniyo. Yaye zisenokuba ninzi izinto azenzayo ubani abe engazifuni: ubudlakudla, “ukukhotyokiswa” ziilekese, ukusela utywala ngokugqithiseleyo, ukuthenga ngokungenangqiqo, ukukwenza isiqhelo ukufika emva kwexesha, ukungcakaza, ukutshaya, neminye imikhwa emininzi.
“Kwakutheni Ukuze Ndibuy’ Umva Xa Okona Kubi Kwakudlule?”
Bekuya kubonakala ngathi ukuba nje ukhe waphila ukutyhubela amanqanaba okuqala okuyeka umkhwa ombi, ukuwuphepha bekuya kuba lula ngakumbi. Noko ke, uhlolisiso olwahlukahlukeneyo lubonisa ukuba ngokufuthi oku akunjalo.
Kwincwadi ethi Selfwatching, ababhali uR. Hodgson noP. Miller bacacisa oku: “Loo mkhwa usenokubuya kwiinyanga ezintathu zokuqala emva kokunyangwa. Enyanisweni, olunye uhlolisiso lubonisa ukuba iintshayi, amakhoboka otywala naweziyobisi athelekelelwa kuma-66 ekhulwini abuyela kwihambo yawo endala kwisithuba seentsuku ezingama-90 zesigqibo sawo sokuqala sokuguquka. Noko ke, abo bakwaziyo ukulawula ukukhotyokiswa kwabo ebudeni beenyanga ezintathu ukuza kwezintandathu zokuqala banethuba elihle ngokugqithiseleyo lokuqhubeka bekulawula oko.”
Kutheni ukubuyela kwimikhwa emibi kusisisongelo kangangeenyanga—okanye maxa wambi kangangeminyaka—emva kwethuba lokuqala lokwahlukana nale mikhwa? Esinye isizathu sikukuba kusenokuvela iingcinezelo ezithile ebomini, yaye kumaxesha adluleyo imikhwa emibi yayinikela isiqabu esithile sokwexeshana. Ngoko kwanasemva kokuba uvakalelwa kukuba uye wawoyisa umkhwa onganqwenelekiyo, ukuba kukho izinto ezithile ozixhalabeleyo—njengokutsala nzima ngokwemali, iingxaki zempilo, izinto ezahlukahlukeneyo ezidanisayo—kulumkele ukubuyela kwakuloo mkhwa! Ukuba unesithukuthezi okanye ulilolo, musa ukumangaliswa ukuba umkhwa wakho wangaphambili uzama ukubuya.
Ezinye izinto ezibangela ukubuyela kwimikhwa yangaphambili zinokuba ziingcinezelo zaselumelwaneni, ukuxabana nabantu, iimvakalelo ezidimazayo nokuba kwiimeko ezilinga ngamandla.
Ukuthintela Ukubuyela Kwimikhwa Yangaphambili
Nasemva kwethuba lokuqala lokuwulwa ngokunempumelelo umkhwa ongafunwayo, kubalulekile ukuba uqhubeke usebenzisa amacebo awakuncedayo ukuba wahlukane naloo mkhwa ekuqaleni. Loo macebo anokusetyenziswa ngokuqhubekayo, okanye kwiimeko ezithile kusenokwanela ukuzikhumbuza ngawo ngamathuba athile, njengaxa uziva ucinezelekile okanye ujamelene nesilingo esikhulu.
Ngokomzekelo, usenokuba uye wagcina iingxelo ezibhaliweyo ukuze uphawule inkqubela yakho, njengokubhala amaqondo abonisa ubunzima bakho ngosuku okanye ngeveki njengoko uzama ukunciphisa ubunzima bomzimba. Oku kuluncedo ekuyekeni umkhwa yaye akufanele kuyekwe naxa ucinga ukuba ingozi idlule.
Usekwanokuba neendlela ezithile zokuzivuza nanini na uwuxhathise ngokunempumelelo umkhwa obe uzama ukuwoyisa. Inkqubo elinganiselweyo yokuzivuza isenokuba luncedo ekuthinteleni ukubuyela kwakuloo mkhwa. Okanye, ekuyekeni umkhwa othile, ngaba wafumana uncedo lomhlobo? Mvumele lowo akuncede uhlale ukhululekile kumkhwa odluleyo ombi.
Ngawaphi amanye amacebo aya kukunceda uxhathise ukubuyela kwimikhwa yangaphambili, ingakumbi ebudeni bamathuba engcinezelo?
Xhathisa Ngokwenza Enye Into
UGqr. R. Stuart, umalathisi kwicandelo lenzululwazi ngengqondo kumbutho oyiWeight Watchers International, Inc., uncomela oku kulandelayo ngabo bazabalazela ukunciphisa ubunzima bokomzimba: “Yigcine ingqondo yakho ixakekile ngemisetyenzana eyahlukahlukeneyo ebangel’ umdla. Kuhle ukwenza imisebenzi yobugcisa, kwaye ngokunjalo nemisetyenzana yokuzonwabisa. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, izixhobo mazibe kufuphi yaye mayihlale ilungile indawo yokusebenzela, ukuze ube nako ukwenza umsetyenzana wakho ngequbuliso.” Mhlawumbi inkqubo enjalo inokukunceda.
Ewe, umkhwa wakho ombi wangaphambili wuthabathel’ indawo ngomsebenzi ohlaziyayo. Khumbula ukuba loo mkhwa kusenokuba wawukunika umlinganiselo othile wesiqabu xa ubomi babunxunguphalisa, ngoko nyula enye into endaweni yawo eya kuphumeza injongo efanayo. Usenokufunda, wenze umthambo, udlale isixhobo somculo, upeyinte okanye utyelele kunye nabahlobo. Qalisa ngoku ngokubhala phantsi uludwe lwemisetyenzana onokuyenza yokuthabathel’ indawo imikhwa emibi. Balaselisa leyo ogqibe ukuqhubeka uyenza. Yenze le misetyenzana mitsha ngokuphindaphindiweyo njengoko wawusenza umkhwa wakho wangaphambili. Oku kuya kukwenza kube lula ukuyenza xa uziva ucinezelekile. Enyanisweni, le misebenzi ithabathel’ indawo imikhwa emibi eneneni inokuba yimikhwa—imikhwa emihle!
Ukubaluleka Kokulwa Ukudimazeka
Ekubeni isilingo sokubuyela kwimikhwa emibi sisenokuba namandla angakumbi xa uphantsi kwengcinezelo, ngaba unokuhlengahlengisa iimeko ezithile ebomini bakho ukuze unciphise loo ngcinezelo? Naxa iingxaki ezithile zingenakuphetshwa, unokufunda ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho ukuze ungaziva ugutyungelwe kukudimazeka.
Amandla okunawo ukudimazeka adla ngokuthatyathwa lula. Umzekeliso weBhayibhile uthi: “Umoya wendoda uyasinyamezela isifo sayo [sempilo]; ke umoya odakumbileyo, ngubani na ongawuthwalayo?” (IMizekeliso 18:14) Hayi indlela okuyinyaniso ngayo oku! Ngokufuthi asiyongxaki kodwa kukudimazeka okubangelwa yiloo ngxaki okusenza sibe buthathaka.
Omnye umzekeliso weBhayibhile ukubeka ngale ndlela oku: “Uthe waphelelwa ngemini yembandezelo, oba ebandezelwe amandla akho.” (IMizekeliso 24:10) Iimvakalelo ezidimazayo ezingalawulwayo ziya kukwenza buthathaka. Ziya kukwenza uchanabeke ekubuyeleni kumkhwa wakho, mhlawumbi zikucinezela ukuba ubuyele kumkhwa ombi ukuze ufumane isiqabu. Ngoko, hayi indlela ekubaluleke ngayo ukuba ulwe nokudimazeka!
Kodwa kuthekani ukuba, phezu kwayo nje imigudu yakho, usazifumanisa uqalisa ukubuyela emva?
Ukoyisakala Kokwexeshana Nxamnye Nokubuya Umva Ngokupheleleyo
Hayi indlela ekulula ngayo ukucinga uthi: ‘Ndisilele, ngoko ndingasuka nje ndinikezele.’ Yilwe loo mvakalelo. Musa ukuvumela ukuba ukubuya umva kokwexeshana, okanye kwanokubuya umva izihlandlo ezahlukahlukeneyo, kuthethe ukoyisakala kwakho.
Qwalasela lo mzekeliso: Ukuba ubunyuka izinyuko waza watyibilika usiya emva isinyuko esinye okanye ezibini ngenxa yokukhubeka, ngaba ubuya kuqiqa ngelithi, ‘Kuya kufuneka nje ndibuye umva ndiye ezantsi kwizinyuko ndize ndiye kuqala phantsi’? Kakade ke akunjalo! Ngoko, kutheni ufanele usebenzise le ngqiqo iphosakeleyo xa usilwa nemikhwa emibi?
Ukuba ubani uye wabuyela emva udla ngokuziva enetyala. Usenokucinga ngokubaxiweyo ngezi mvakalelo ngokokude ugqibe kwelokuba akulunganga, ngokuthi ungumntu onobuthathaka yaye akuyifanelekelanga nayiphi na into elungileyo. Musa ukuzivumela ukuba ube lixhoba lemvakalelo egqithiseleyo yokuba netyala ngolo hlobo. Ikuhlutha amandla owafunayo ukuze ubuye uqhubeke nedabi. Yaye khumbula oku: Oyena mntu ubalaseleyo wakha wahamba kulo mhlaba, uYesu Kristu, weza ukuze akhulule aboni, kungekhona abantu abafezekileyo. Ngoko akukho namnye kuthi oya kwenza izinto ngokufezekileyo kweli xesha.
Enye ingongoma yokuqwalaselwa ikukuba ukuziva unetyala kusenokuba kukusithela nje ngesebe lenkawu ukuze siqhubeke sisenza into efanayo. Kwincwadi yabo ethi You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought, uP. McWilliams noJ. Roger bacacisa lo mphumo osenokubakho: “Ukuziva unetyala . . . kusibangela siyenze kwakhona. Xa ‘silihlawule ixabiso’ ‘lolwaphulo-mthetho’ lwethu, sikhululekile ukuphinda siyenze kwakhona lo gama nje sikulungele ukulihlawula ixabiso. Liyintoni ixabiso? Kukuziva unetyala ngakumbi.”
Akufuneki ukuba uvumele ukubuyela kumkhwa wangaphambili kokwexeshana kuguquke kube kukubuyela kumkhwa wangaphambili ngokomlinganiselo omkhulu ngokupheleleyo. Khumbula ukuba, ekugqibeleni, okubalulekileyo kukoyisa loo mkhwa, kungekhona ukuba namava okubuyela kumkhwa wangaphambili izihlandlo ezimbalwa njengoko uqhubeka usoyisa umkhwa.
Kule nkalo kububulumko ukugqiba kusengaphambili ngecebo oya kulisebenzisa ukuba kunokwenzeka uzifumanise ubuyela kumkhwa wakho omdala. Ukuthabatha icebo elinjalo kuya kukuxhobisela ukulwela ukoyisa ukubuyela kumkhwa wangaphambili kwelo xesha lokuqala.
Kunokwenzeka—Yaye Kuyingenelo!
Ngoko, ukulwela ukoyisa umkhwa ombi kuthetha okungakumbi kunokunyamezela ithuba lokuqala lokwahlukana okunzima nalo mkhwa. Kubandakanya ukuphila ukutyhubela izinto ezidanisayo ngaphandle kokubuyela ngokupheleleyo kumkhwa ombi.
Ngaba kunzima? Ewe, kodwa kunokwenzeka ngokupheleleyo. Icebo elakuncedayo ukuba uwuyeke lo mkhwa ekuqaleni, ukuba lisetyenziswa ngokuqhubekayo, liya kukunceda uthintele okanye woyise ukubuyela kumkhwa wangaphambili. Iyintoni eyona ngenelo inkulu? Kukuzihlonela—umvuzo oyingenelo ngokwawo. Yaye ngokunokwenzeka uya kuhlonelwa kakhulu nangabo bakwaziyo.
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Ukutyibilikela emva izinyuko ezimbalwa akufuni ukuba uqalise kwakhona ekuqaleni
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Isisongelo sokubuyela kumkhwa wangaphambili siyancipha ngokuhlala uzixakekisa ngemisetyenzana ebangel’ umdla