Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndinokuba Ngumzekelo Njani Kubantakwethu Abaselula?

UPAUL wayeyazi indlela akunandipha kakhulu ngayo umninawa wakhe ukubukela umabonwakude. Ngoko wamangaliswa ngenye imini xa wambona ewucima umabonwakude kanye xa inkqubo iphakathi. Sasiyintoni isizathu? Umninawa kaPaul wacacisa wathi: “Ibingengomboniso ucocekileyo. Bendisazi ukuba wena ubuya kuwucima, ngoko ndiqonde ukuba mandiwucime ngokwam.”

Engaqondanga, uPaul uye wammisela umzekelo umninawa wakhe wokuba awulandele​—⁠yaye omhle. Ngaba unabo abantakwenu abaselula? Ngoko oko ukuthethayo nokwenzayo ngokukwanjalo nabo kunokubachaphazela. Incwadi ethi Sibling Rivalry, ebhalwe nguSeymour V. Reit ithi: “Umnqweno wokuxelisa umntakwenu omdala unamandla ngokuphawulekayo yaye ukhokela izinto ezininzi ezenziwa ngumntwana oselula. Abantakwenu abadala bayimizekelo ngokuzenzekelayo.”

Ngoko, uthanda ungathandi, ngenxa yokuba umdala yaye unembopheleleko engakumbi, abantakwenu ngokunokwenzeka baya kujonga kuwe. Basenokuzama ukulinganisa indlela othetha nowenza ngayo izinto. Kuyavunywa ukuba, ukusoloko kufuneka ube ngumzekelo kubantakwenu kusenokubonakala kuluxanduva maxa wambi.a Enye intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo egama linguLinda ikhalaza ngokuthi: “Ndingumzekelo wabo bonke abanye. Ngoko umama undixelela ukuba yiyo loo nto ndimele ndiqhube kakuhle esikolweni . . . Eneneni ndinembopheleleko enkulu kakhulu.” Ingcinezelo isenokuba nkulu ngokukhethekileyo ukuba uhlala kwikhaya elinomzali omnye. Enye inkwenkwe yabhala oku ngabantakwayo abaselula: “Enyanisweni ndingutata wabo.”

Sekunjalo, ukuba ngumntwana omdala kuneengenelo zako. Phakathi kwezinye izinto, kukuvumela ukuba ube nempembelelo eyakhayo kubomi babantakwenu. Makhe sibone indlela okwenzeka ngayo oko.

Ekhayeni

Umzekeliso wamandulo uthi: “Indlu yona yakhiwa ngobulumko; izinziswe ngengqondo.” (IMizekeliso 24:⁠3) Kambe ke, ngokuyintloko yimbopheleleko yabazali bakho ukwakha ikhaya lakowenu, ukulenza libe yindawo apho kulawula uxolo nolonwabo. Kodwa ngokubonakalisa ubulumko nengqiqo ethile, unokufak’ isandla kakhulu kubukho bolonwabo kwintsapho yakowenu.

Ngokomzekelo, usabela njani xa uMama okanye uTata ekucela ukuba uye kuchitha inkunkuma okanye ucoce igumbi lakho? Ngaba usebenzisana nabo? Ngaba uyathobela? Okanye ngaba uyavukela okanye uphendule ngokungenantlonelo? Ukuba kunjalo, musa ukumangaliswa ukuba abantakwenu abaselula ngokukhawuleza baqalisa ukuphendula nabo. Into ebubulumko nesengqiqweni omele uyenze kukulandela amazwi eMizekeliso 1:⁠8 athi: “Nyana wam, yiva uqeqesho lukayihlo, ungawulahli umyalo kanyoko.”

Kuyavunywa ukuba, usenokuba naso isizathu esifanelekileyo sokukhalaza. Enye intombazana eneminyaka eli-18 ubudala yakhalaza yathi: “Andiqondi ukuba umama ubanika imbopheleleko eyaneleyo abanakwethu ababini. Ndinoxanduva lokwenza yonk’ into: umsebenzi wasendlwini, ukumisela imizekelo, yonke nje into.” Mhlawumbi unyanisile. Kodwa kunokuvukela, ngaba akukuhle ukuyixubusha imicimbi kunye nabazali bakho ngendlela ezolileyo nenentlonelo? Unokubazisa indlela ovakalelwa ngayo kwanoko ucinga ukuba kusenokuziphucula izinto. Ngokuthetha ngokuphandle nangokukhululekileyo nabazali bakho, akwenzeli nje ukuba ubomi bukuyolise ngakumbi kodwa ukwafundisa nabantakwenu abaselula indlela yokuzinzisa ukungavisisani njengabantu abakhulileyo.

Noko ke, emva kokuthetha izinto nabazali bakho, khumbula ukuba ngabo abagqibayo ngombandela. Ngoko yaneliswa sisigqibo sabo. Ngale ndlela uya kuba ukwabamisela umzekelo omhle abantakwenu.

Iimpikiswano ezishushu ngemisetyenzana yasendlwini zinokusoloko ziphetshwa ngokupheleleyo ukuba utsiba kuqala ukwenza izinto. Ngamanye amazwi, ngaba ngamaxesha onke kufuneka ude uxelelwe ukuba mus’ ukushiya iimpahla zakho zithe saa phantsi, okanye ngaba uyazilungisa izinto ngaphandle kokuba uqhutywe? Umzekelo wakho ngesenzo kungekhona ngomlomo kule nkalo unokwenza okungakumbi ekuncedeni umntakwenu okanye umsakwenu oselula afunde ukuba ngamnye entsatsheni umele athwale umthwalo wakhe ukuba izinto ziza kuhamba ngokutyibilikayo.​—⁠Thelekisa eyabaseGalati 6:⁠5.

Esikolweni

‘Ndiyasicaphukela isikolo.’ ‘Andisiboni isizathu sokuba ndifanele ndiye. Akukho nto ndiyifundayo kuso.’ ‘Ukuba ndinako kungekudala, ndiza kusiyeka isikolo.’ Ngokufuthi ulutsha luviwa luvakalisa iimbono ezinjalo ezingakhuthaziyo ngesikolo. Kodwa ngaba abantakwenu abaselula bakuva uthetha ngaloo ndlela? Ngaba bakubona ungayi maxa wambi esikolweni okanye ubuya singekaphumi isikolo? Oku kunokusichaphazela ngokulula isimo sabo sengqondo ngesikolo.

Ukumisela umzekelo olungileyo kuthetha ukuvelisa isimo sengqondo esiluncedo nesakhayo mayela nesikolo. Oku kusenokungabi lula. Kodwa khumbula oku: Ukusikhuthalela isikolo kunokukunceda ukhule ngokwengqondo nangokomoya. Kwangaxeshanye, kunokukunceda uvelise ubuchule obuya kukwenza ukwazi ukuzixhasa ngenye imini njengomntu omkhulu. Incwadi ethi Imibuzo Yabantu Abaselula​—⁠Iimpendulo Eziluncedo inecandelo elinomxholo othi “Isikolo Nomsebenzi.”b Eli candelo liqulethe inkcazelo eluncedo esenokuphucula isimo sakho sengqondo ngokufunda.

Isimo sengqondo esihle ngesikolo ngokuqinisekileyo siya kusuleleka kubantakwenu abaselula. Yaye ngokuba nomdla wobuqu kumanqaku nakumsebenzi wabo wesikolo abawenzela ekhaya​—⁠uzinikela ukuze ubancede ngamathuba athile⁠—​unokwenza okungakumbi ekukhuthazeni ukuqhubela phambili kwabo ngokwemfundo. Kodwa kuthekani ngendlela oziphethe ngayo esikolweni? Ubaphatha njani abafundisi-ntsapho, abacebisi nabalawuli besikolo? Ngaba unempoxo, uthanda ukuphikisa, okanye ngaba umisela umzekelo omhle ngokubonakalisa intlonelo ngegunya labo?​—⁠Thelekisa eyakuTito 3:​1, 2.

Abantakwenu baya kuphawula nohlobo lwabahlobo obakhethayo. Ukuba uqalisa ukuhamba nomxukuxela othanda ifashoni, kungekudala usenokuzifumanisa umtyeshele uThixo! Isibhalo seyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 15:​33 nesicatshulwa ngokufuthi silumkisa ngokuthi: “Musani ukulahlekiswa. Incoko embi yonakalisa izimilo ezilungileyo.” Kwangaxeshanye, usenokubamisela umzekelo oyingozi abantakwenu. Omnye oselula owakhuliswa ngumama ongumKristu wanyula ukuzichasa iindlela zikaThixo waza waqalisa ukunxulumana neqela labaselula abasebenzisa kakubi iziyobisi. Kungekudala wayezisebenzisa kakubi iziyobisi naye. Enoloyiko lokuba umninawa wakhe wayeya kulandela emanyathelweni akhe, wamlumkisa ngokuthi: “Ungaze uqalise ukusebenzisa iziyobisi!” Kodwa izenzo zakhe zangqineka zinempembelelo engakumbi kunamazwi akhe, yaye umninawa wakhe kungekudala wazidibanisa neqela elibi elifanayo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, akuthandi ukuba isazela sakho sikumangalele ngokwazi ukuba uye waba sisikhubekiso somnakwenu okanye sikadade wenu!​—⁠Thelekisa uMateyu 18:⁠7.

Ukumisela Umzekelo Elunqulweni

Ngolutsha olungamaKristu kokona kubaluleke kakhulu ukumisela umzekelo omhle kwimibandela enxulumene nonqulo. Ukuzimisela kwakho, intlonelo enzulu nentetho eyakhayo ayiyi kuthi ivuyise nje kuphela intliziyo kaYihlo wasezulwini kodwa inokuba nempembelelo ehlala ihleli kubantakwenu abaselula.​—⁠IMizekeliso 27:⁠11.

Ukuzekelisa: Ngabathile abaselula phakathi kwamaNgqina kaYehova, ukushumayela esidlangalaleni kunzima. (Mateyu 24:​14; 28:​19, 20) NjengoYeremiya wakudala, lumbi ulutsha lusuka nje luzive lungakulingananga ukwenjenjalo. (Thelekisa uYeremiya 1:⁠6.) Olunye lusenokude lube neentloni ngokubonwa ngabahlobo balo xa lusiba nenxaxheba kulo msebenzi wokusindis’ ubomi. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba abantakwenu bathintelwa zizimo zengqondo ezinjalo ezingakhiyo? Ukuba kunjalo, zama ukuba nembono ekhuthazayo ngomsebenzi wokushumayela. Qiniseka ngokuphuma uye rhoqo kumsebenzi wokushumayela nentsapho yakowenu. Njengoko abantakwenu bekubona ufumana uvuyo nolwaneliseko oluphuma kulo msebenzi, basenokufuna ukuluxelisa ukholo lwakho.​—⁠Thelekisa amaHebhere 13:⁠7.

Ngokomzekelo, cinga ngentombazana ekwishumi elivisayo egama linguCrystal. Icacisa ngelithi: “Usukelo lwam lobuqu lukukuchitha ubuncinane iinyanga ezimbini nyaka ngamnye njengovulindlela ongumncedani ngethuba lasehlotyeni.”c Yaba nawuphi umphumo inzondelelo yakhe kumnakwabo oselula? UCrystal uthi: “Umnakwethu oneminyaka eli-12 ubudala ubesoloko echitha ixesha elingakumbi kumsebenzi wokushumayela ukususela ekuqaliseni kwam ukukwenza oku.”

Iintlanganiso zamaKristu zikunika elinye ithuba lokumisela umzekelo omhle. Ukuya rhoqo kuzo kuyimfuneko engokweZibhalo. (Hebhere 10:​24, 25) Kutheni ungafundisi abantakwenu indlela abanokuzicwangcisa ngayo nabanokuziqhelisa ngayo ukuze bakwazi ukwenza umsebenzi wabo wesikolo kwangethuba baze sekunjalo baye kwiintlanganiso? Basekwanokufunda ukuzinandipha ngakumbi iintlanganiso ukuba bayabona ukuba usoloko ulungiselele kakuhle nokuba wenza umgudu wokuba nenxaxheba.

Ukuphila ngokweemfuno zikaThixo akulula. Kodwa uThixo ufuna ukuba lonke ulutsha olungamaKristu lube “ngumzekelo . . . ngentetho, ngehambo, ngothando, ngokholo, ngobunyulu” enoba lunabo abantakwalo okanye alunabo. (1 Timoti 4:​12) Kutheni ungaqalisi ekhaya? Ukwenza kwakho kanjalo kusenokwenza umahluko omkhulu​—⁠kubomi babantakwenu nakubomi bakho!

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 18]

Indlela obaphatha ngayo abazali bakho inokuyichaphazela indlela abantakwenu abaselula abaya kubaphatha ngayo