Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .
Ndinokuwenza Njani Amantombazana Ukuba Andiyeke?
UYOSEFU wayengumfana othandwayo ngabantu. Wayethandwa kakhulu ngabantu bonke awayesebenza nabo kuba wayekhuthele, ethembekile yaye eyinzwana. Ingxaki yayikukuba, nomfazi womphathi wakhe wathabatheka nguye. Isincwaso sakhe saya sikhula ngokukhula; waba nesibindi ngakumbi nangakumbi sokudlalisa ngothando encokweni yakhe.
UYosefu wazama ukungayihoyi imigudu yakhe, kodwa ngenye imini esemsebenzini, uYosefu wazifumana ekunye nalo mfazi kuphela. Lo mfazi wayekucwangcise ngobuchule oku; kwakungayi kubakho bani ungomnye apho iiyure eziliqela. UYosefu engekakuqondi okwakusenzeka, lo mfazi wakubonakalisa ngokuphandle ukumkhanuka kwakhe, embongoza ukuba abe neentlobano zesini kunye naye!—Genesis 39:7-12.
La mava okoqobo enzeka kwiminyaka engaphezu kwama-3 500 eyadlulayo. Kodwa izehlo ezinjalo zenzeka mihla le esikolweni nasemsebenzini. Nangona amaziko eendaba aye athetha kakhulu ngokukhathazwa kwamabhinqa—yaye kuhle ukuthetha ngoku kuba kuyingxaki—ingxaki ngokufuthi ethatyathwa lula kukukhathazwa kwabafana.a Kwibutho langoku labantu abagxininisa kwisini nasekunikweni kwamabhinqa amalungelo alinganayo, elinemilinganiselo ewohlokileyo engokokuziphatha nengokwentlalo, akufanele kusothuse ukuva ukuba abafana abaninzi bathi baye bazizisulu zokukhathazwa ngamabhinqa afuna uthando.
Kubonakala ukuba bambi abafana bayalwamkela olu tshintsho lweemeko; bayonwatyiswa kukufumana ingqalelo yamabhinqa. Noko ke, ulutsha olungamaKristu lubambelela kwimilinganiselo yeBhayibhile yokuziphatha okuhle ngokwesini. Alufuni kukhathazwa ngamabhinqa anesibindi ancwase ukuziphatha okubi kunye nalo. Umbuzo ngulo, Lungakuphepha njani ukukhathazwa okulolo hlobo?
Kutheni Kusenzeka Kum Nje?
IBhayibhile ithi: “Isihombo samadodana ngamandla awo.” (IMizekeliso 20:29) Ubuhle bobutsha, obuhambisana nokucoceka okungokokuziphatha komfana nesimilo sobuKristu, bunokulitsala kakhulu ibhinqa. Abathile bakwanokukujonga ukonakalisa ubunyulu bomKristu oselula njengocelo-mngeni olunomtsalane.
Kwakhona kukho impembelelo yebutho labantu banamhlanje. Kubhalwa iincwadi namanqaku amaninzi okunceda amantombazana ukuba athimbe ingqalelo yamakhwenkwe. Amaphephancwadi abeshumi elivisayo ngandlel’ ithile akhuthaza amantombazana ukuba adlale ngothando engenazintloni. Iphephancwadi iSeventeen lathi: “Ukudlala ngothando kuyeyona ndlela onokumazisa ngayo ubani othile ukuba umfumanisa . . . enomtsalane. . . . Kunokukhokelela kubuhlobo okanye ekuthandaneni.” Kwakhona okugqalwa njengemilinganiselo yokuziphatha eveliswe ngamaziko eendaba nezimo zengqondo ezinwenwayo ezingenamigaqo yakuziphatha ziyawonakalisa amandla okuziphatha okuhle komfana. Umbhali uKathy McCoy uthi: “Ibutho labantu ngokubanzi, abazali yaye ngokukodwa oontanga ngokuqhelekileyo bakunyamezela ngokungakumbi ukuziphatha okubi ngokwesini emakhwenkweni. Iingcali ezithile zikholelwa ukuba abafana bafumana ukhuthazo olukhulu . . . lokuba baziphathe kakubi ngokwesini.”
Noko ke, iLizwi likaThixo liyala ulutsha ukuba luhlale lunyulu. “Oku kukuthanda kukaThixo, ukungcwaliswa kwenu, ukuba nikhumke kulo uhenyuzo.” (1 Tesalonika 4:3) Akunakuvumela ukuba iimpembelelo zeli hlabathi zikulahlekise! Ngoko, yintoni ofanele uyenze ukuba ubani othile wesini esahlukileyo wenza imigudu yokubonakalisa ukuba uyakuthanda?
Isizathu Sokuba Kunzima Ukukuxhathisa
Nangona ngokufuthi amadoda eye asebenzisa amandla ukuze oyise amabhinqa axhathisa imigudu yokucela uthando kuwo, kunqabile ukuba amabhinqa asebenzise amandla ukuze oyise amadoda ngolo hlobo. Ngoko, kutheni kunzima ngomfana ukuxhathisa intombazana emkhathazayo?
Esinye isizathu sikukuba “intliziyo inenkohliso.” (Yeremiya 17:9) Kunjengokuba uWayne oselula wavumayo: “Usoloko ulunqwenela olo hlobo lwengqalelo. Uba nemvakalelo eshushu xa usazi ukuba ubani othile unomdla kuwe. Ngandlel’ ithile kuyonwabisa.” Kakade ke, kukokwemvelo ukunandipha ingqalelo yamabhinqa. Kodwa lumka! Intliziyo yakho enenkohliso isenokubangela ukuba ezi nkanuko zokwemvelo zikoyise oko ukwazi ikokulungileyo. (Yakobi 1:14, 15) Ungaqondanga, unokukhokelwa “njengenkomo isiya ekuxhelweni”!—IMizekeliso 7:22.
Ngaloo ndlela IMizekeliso iyabalumkisa abafana isithi mabazilinde ‘ekugudeni kolwimi lomfazi [oziphethe kakubi]. Musa ukubukhanuka ubunzwakazi bakhe entliziyweni yakho, yaye angakubambisi [ngamehlo akhe anomtsalane].’ (IMizekeliso 6:24, 25) Ngoko, eyona nto iphambili kukulawula intliziyo neenkanuko zakho. (1 Tesalonika 4:4-6) Kuphela kuxa uqinisekile ngokupheleleyo ukuba ukuziphatha okubi ngokwesini akunikeli nayiphi na enye into ngaphandle ‘kweendlela zelabafileyo,’ okanye ukufa, oya kuthi ukwazi ukuzilungiselela ukuzikhusela okuqinisekileyo nokusebenzisekayo.—IMizekeliso 7:27.b
Ukuhlangabezana Nengcinezelo
Omnye umfana wavakalisa ubuhlungu esithi: “Amantombazana awakuniki thuba; aquqa ebuyelela. Akuncoma kakhulu yaye asebenzisa ukukhohlisa okukhulu.” Ukukhohlisa kudala kusisixhobo esisetyenziswa libhinqa eliswele ukuthozama. Ngaba uthabatheka ngokugqithiseleyo kuko? (IMizekeliso 26:28) “Bunabathozamileyo ubulumko,” itsho njalo IMizekeliso 11:2, yaye ukuba uzijonga ngendlela efanelekileyo, akuyi kuchanabeka ekukhohlisweni okulilize.
Kodwa uthini xa intombazana incoma iinwele zakho, ukumila okanye uncumo lwakho? Kusenokuba akubandanyekanga njongo ingaphaya. Yaye lumbi ulutsha ngenxa yokuba lungafuni ukubonakala ngokungathi luyazidla, lusuka nje luyibulele intombazana ngokuluncoma kwayo—yaye ngokukhawuleza luyayitshintsha incoko. Noko ke, kulumkele ukunikela ingcamango yokuba uyayinandipha incoko yokudlala ngothando.
Ngamanye amaxesha imilinganiselo engqongqo iyafuneka. Bambi bahlangabezana nalo mbandela ngoko nangoko bengaphozisanga maseko. Ngale ndlela bayakuphepha ukuhambisela phambili imeko engonwabisiyo abasele bekuyo. Impendulo kaDaniel engqalileyo ithi, “Andinamdla wokuthandana nentombazana ngoku.”
Ngokufuthi kuye kwathiwa okona kuzikhusela kukuhlasela okulungileyo. Omnye umphandi unikela eli cebiso: “Ukuze uzidambise ngokupheleleyo iimeko, ngena kwincoko engonqulo.” Eneneni, ukuba waziwa njengobani oxubusha rhoqo ngeenkolelo zakhe zonqulo, akuyi kuba lixhoba nangayiphi na indlela. Yaye ukuba ubani othile unesibindi sokuza kuwe nangayiphi na indlela, intetho ethe ngqo engeenkolelo zakho zonqulo inokumnqumla iimpondo.
Ngelishwa, maxa wambi ulutsha olungamaKristu ludla ngokusilela ukuyisebenzisa le ndlela ibalaseleyo yokuzikhusela. UTim oselula uthi: “Abaninzi bethu abazange bafune ukuthi, ‘Khangela! NdingumKristu, yaye andifun’ ukuyenza le nto.’ Sasifuna ukufana nomntu wonke.” Kwakhona, kuphela kuxa uqiniseke ngokupheleleyo ukuba indlela kaYehova yeyona ilungileyo onokukwazi ukuba nesibindi nenkalipho efunekayo yokuyiphepha intlekele yokuziphatha okubi.
Ukuphepha Umgibe!
Kuthekani ukuba, phezu kwayo yonke imigudu yakho, inkathazo iyaqhubeka? Phinda kwakhona uqwalasele umzekelo womfana ochazwe ekuqaleni—uYosefu. IGenesis 39:6 isixelela ukuba “ebemhle isiqu, emhle imbonakalo” waza wayithimba ingqalelo yomfazi womphathi wakhe, uPotifare. Lo mfazi wenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukumlukuhla. Yaye akukho apho iBhayibhile ibonisa khona ukuba wayengxathu okanye ngandlel’ ithile wayengajongeki kuYosefu. Sekunjalo, uYosefu wayixhathisa imigudu yakhe. Wakwazi njani ukwenjenjalo?
Okokuqala, uYosefu wayomelele elukholweni lwakhe. Wathi: “Ndingathini na ke ukwenza obu bubi bukhulu kangaka, ndone kuThixo?” Nangona ngelo xesha kwakungekho mthetho ubhaliweyo ngokunxamnye nesini sangaphambi komtshato, isazela sakhe samxelela ukuba oko umkaPotifare wayefuna ukukwenza kwakuphosakele. Sekunjalo, lo mfazi wazingisa. Ngelokuncama wambamba ngengubo embongoza esithi: “Ndilale.” UYosefu akazange aphozise maseko ngokuzama ukuyenza lula imeko ngesiqhulo, okanye azame ukumfundisa iindlela zokuziphatha. Ngoko nangoko “wayishiya ingubo yakhe esandleni sakhe, wabaleka.”—Genesis 39:9-12.
UYosefu waba nako ukumka ngokukhawuleza kuba kwakungeyomfuneko ukuba enze isigqibo ngoko wayemele akwenze. Wayesele esenzile isigqibo sakhe. Wakhetha ukunyamezela imiphumo yengqumbo yalo mfazi kunokuba angamkholisi uYehova. Ibe imiphumo yayibuhlungu; uYosefu waphoswa entolongweni! Kodwa uYehova wayisikelela imigudu yakhe yokuhlala enyulu. Ekugqibeleni waba lilungu eliphambili lebhotwe likaFaro waza wamanyaniswa kwakhona nentsapho yakowabo awahlukaniswa kudala nayo.
Ngokufanayo imigudu yakho yokuhlala ‘ungenakuthandabuzwa yaye ungenakusoleka kwesi sizukulwana sigoso’ iya kusikelelwa nguYehova. (Filipi 2:15) Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ekuqaleni izinto zinokuvela ngaluphi na uhlobo, ikhondo elilungileyo liya kusoloko likuzisela intsikelelo. Kodwa ufanele uzimisele ukuhlala unyulu njengokuba uYosefu wayenjalo. Ufanele uzingise yaye ungaguquguquki kwimigudu yakho, yokumenza ‘uhayi wakho abe nguhayi.’ (Mateyu 5:37) Ufanele ukulungele ukwabelana nabanye ngeenkolelo zakho ezisekelwe eBhayibhileni. Ukuba wenjenjalo, kwanawona mantombazana angenazintloni aya kukuqonda ngokucacileyo—aze mhlawumbi akuyeke!
[Imibhalo esemazantsi]
a Ukuze ufumane inkcazelo ngendlela amantombazana anokumelana ngayo nokukhathazwa ngamakhwenkwe, bona inqaku elithi “Ndinokumenza Njani Ukuba Andiyeke?” kwinkupho kaVukani! kaJuni 8, 1991.
b Bona isahluko 23 nesama-24 sencwadi ethi Imibuzo Yabantu Abaselula—Iimpendulo Eziluncedo, epapashwe yiWatchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 18]
Usabela njani kwiimbonakaliso zokucela uthando?