Ukwanda Koqhawulo-mtshato
“AMATYE ANQABILEYO OQHAWULO-MTSHATO.” Loo mxholo ungaqhelekanga uvele kutshanje kwiphephancwadi lamabhinqa elaziwayo. Eli nqaku lakhuthaza oku: “Ngoko umtshato wakho uyaqhuqhumba yaye uziva usitsha. Kutheni ungaziphelisi ezo nkumbulo ngokunyibilikisa amatye anqabileyo akukhumbuza ngomtshato.” Ebiza imali ethile umrhwebi wamatye anqabileyo uvumela abantu abaqhawule imitshato ukuba basebenzise isixhobo sakhe sokutshisa ukuze banyibilikise imisesane yabo yokuganana neyomtshato. Wandula ke azibumbe izinto zabo ezincinane zokuhombisa zibe kwimo engasayi kubakhumbuza ngemitshato yabo engaphumelelanga.
Kule mihla, umtshato, njengeentsiba zokubhala, izitya zephepha, izishuba ezilahlwayo neencakuba, ubonakala uthandwa ngakumbi xa kulula ukuwuchitha. ‘Xa udiniwe nguwo, suka nje uwuchithe’—sitsho njalo isimo sengqondo esandayo.
“Akusekho nto ingumtshato,” watsho njalo uLorenz Wachinger, umbhali nesazi ngengqondo esingugqirha odumileyo waseMunich, eJamani. Ngaba oku kukuzibaxa izinto? Mhlawumbi kuko; kodwa akunzima ukusibona isizathu sokuba avakalelwe ngolo hlobo. Ngokutsho kwephephandaba iStuttgarter Zeitung, imitshato enokuba li-130 000 iyaqhekeka eJamani nyaka ngamnye. Kodwa uqhawulo-mtshato alwenzeki eJamani kuphela.
Into Ephawulekayo Kulo Lonke Ihlabathi
Utyekelo olufanayo lubonakala kuwo onke amazwe akulo lonke ihlabathi. Ngokomzekelo, iUnited States, inokwaziwa kakuhle ngokuba likomkhulu lehlabathi loqhawulo-mtshato. Nyaka ngamnye kuqhawulwa imitshato engaphezu kwesi-1 160 000, okanye phantse isiqingatha sayo yonke imitshato. Oko kuthetha ukuba imitshato engaphezu kwemibini iyaqhawulwa mzuzu ngamnye yonke imihla!
Xa ethelekiswa nexesha elidluleyo, la manani abonisa ukwanda koqhawulo-mtshato. Nje kwinkulungwane edluleyo, wawumnye kuphela umtshato oqhawulwayo kwimitshato eli-18 eUnited States. Ngaphandle kokunyuka ngamandla kwequbuliso emva kweMfazwe Yehlabathi II, kuphela inani landa ngokuthe ngcembe de kwayiminyaka yee-1960. Ngoko, kwiminyaka nje engama-25, eli nani liye laphindaphindeka kathathu!
Phakathi kweyee-1980 (eyona minyaka yakutshanje enamanani afumanekayo anokuthenjwa), amazwe akulo lonke ihlabathi abone ukuntinga kwamanani oqhawulo-mtshato anjengala: eSoviet Union, ingama-940 000 ngonyaka; eJapan, li-178 000; eBritani, li-159 000; eFransi, li-107 000; eKhanada, ngama-61 000; eOstreliya, ngama-43 000. Kwanakwiindawo apho unqulo nemithetho iye yagcina amanani oqhawulo-mtshato ephantsi, izinto ziyaguquka. Ngokomzekelo, eHong Kong kusekho ukuqhawulwa komtshato omnye kuyo yonke imitshato eli-17; kodwa inani loqhawulo-mtshato liye laphindaphindeka phakathi kowe-1981 nowe-1987. Iphephancwadi i-India Today lanikela ingxelo yokuba umdintsi ubani awayesiba nawo ngenxa yokuqhawula umtshato uyaphela kumaIndiya akumgangatho ophakathi. Kumazwana awahlukahlukeneyo aseIndiya kuye kwaqaliswa iinkundla ezintsha ukuze zihlangabezane nokwanda kwamatyala oqhawulo-mtshato olususela kwi-100 ekhulwini ukusa kuma-328 ekhulwini kwiminyaka elishumi.
Kambe ke, amanani awanakuyibonisa nakancinane intlungu efunyanwa ngabantu abaninzi ababumba loo manani. Okubuhlungu kukuba, uqhawulo-mtshato phantse ukuba lusichaphazela sonke nje ngenxa yokuba umtshato uyinto yazwenibanzi. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba sitshatile okanye siyinzala yabazali abatshatileyo, okanye sisondelelene nabantu abatshatileyo. Ngoko nokuba okwangoku asikayiva intlungu yoqhawulo-mtshato, isisongelo salo sisenokusothusa.
Uyintoni unobangela wako konke oku kuqhawulwa kwemitshato? Iinguqulelo kwezobupolitika zisenokuba yinxalenye yoonobangela boku. Kumazwe amaninzi imiqathango kaRhulumente echasene noqhawulo-mtshato—kudala eyayixhaswa ngamaqela onqulo anempembelelo—iye yawohloka kwiminyaka yakutshanje. Ngokomzekelo, ngeyee-1980, iArgentina yavakalisa ukuba umthetho owawungaluvumeli uqhawulo-mtshato olusemthethweni wawungasasebenzi. Ngokufanayo iSpeyin neItali zenza uqhawulo-mtshato lwasemthethweni. Kodwa iinguqulelo ezinjalo emthethweni azisoloko ziphelekwa lulwando olukhawulezileyo kumanani oqhawulo-mtshato.
Ngoko kufanele kubekho nto ithile enzulu ngakumbi kunenkqubo engokwasemthethweni ebangela ubhubhani woqhawulo-mtshato ehlabathini lonke. Umbhali uJoseph Epstein wabhekisela kuyo xa wabhala ukuba kwiminyaka embalwa edluleyo, “ukuqhawula umtshato kwakukukufumana isiqinisekiso esingokwasemthethweni, ngokungathi kunjalo, sokusilela kukabani kwiimpawu zakhe zobuntu.” Ubhala esithi, kodwa namhlanje, “phakathi kwamaqela athile abantu, kubonakala kungeyonto iqhelekileyo ukungawuqhawuli umtshato kunokuba kunjalo ukuwuqhawula; apha ukuphila bonke ubomi bukabani ebopheleleke emtshatweni omnye kusenokucingelwa njengembonakaliso yokungapheleli kwengqondo kabani.”—Divorced in America.
Ngamany’ amazwi, izimo zengqondo ezisisiseko abantu ababambelela kuzo ngokuphathelele umtshato ziguqukile. Intlonelo ngeli lungiselelo ebekukudala ligcinwe njengelingcwele iyakhukuliseka. Ngoko jikelele ehlabathini, uqhawulo-mtshato luya lusamkelwa ngakumbi. Kutheni? Yintoni enokubangela ukuba abantu bamkele into eyayikade ijongelwa phantsi ngokubanzi? Ngaba akungebi ke mhlawumbi uqhawulo-mtshato alulubi kangako?