Loo Minyaka Yeshumi Elivisayo Iyingxaki
ABESHUMI elivisayo bangqongwe zizigidimi ezivuselela inkanuko yesini. Isini sisetyenziselwa ukuthengisa yonke into ukususela ezihlangwini ukusa kwiijeans. Umculo wale mihla uzele ngamazwi akhuthaza isini. Kumabonwakude abantu abakhulu abanomtsalane batshintshatshintsha amaqabane esini. Kodwa ngaba oku kufanelekile?
Iphephandaba eliphambili laseMerika lathi “Ukunwenwiswa okwandayo kweengcamango ezingesini” kwiinkqubo zikamabonwakude ezisasazwa xa abantu abaninzi bembukele “kulutyekelo lokuboniswa kweenkqubo oluphazamisayo nolokungakhathali gqitha.” IThe Journal of the American Medical Association yakubiza oku ngokuthi “kukuthinjwa kolutsha olufikisayo ngeenkqubo zosasazo zolonwabo nezentengiso.”
Ufanele uqiniseke ukuba abantwana bakho bayazi ukuba asibantu bonke abaphila ngaloo ndlela. Enoba, njengokuba kusitshiwo, isiqingatha samantombazana akubudala beminyaka eli-17 aseMerika sele sibandakanyekile kwiintlobano zesini, oko kusathetha ukuba esinye isiqingatha asikabandakanyeki. Kunjengokuba owayesakuba nguNobhala Wemfundo waseUnited States uWilliam J. Bennett wathi: “Asinguye ‘wonke ubani’ okwenzayo oko, yaye sikwanokunqwenela ukunika olo lutsha—isiqingatha solutsha lwethu oluneminyaka elishumi elinesixhenxe ubudala—inkxaso nokhuthazo.”
Wabonisa ukuba kuphando olwenziwa eGrady Memorial Hospital eAtlanta, eGeorgia, eUnited States, amantombazana ali-9 kwali-10 angaphantsi kweminyaka eli-16 ubudala “ayefuna ukufunda indlela yokuthi ‘hayi.’” Ngaba unokubanceda abantwana bakho ukuba baqiniseke ukuba, asikokusabela nje ngokuyekeyeke okanye ngokungaqiniseki, kodwa nguhayi ongqalileyo nocacileyo kuphela impendulo efanelekileyo kuyo nayiphi na impembelelo yokuziphatha okubi? Ngaba unokubanceda baqonde ukuba abantu abaxabisekileyo baya kubahlonela ngenxa yoku? Kunjengokuba oweshumi elivisayo ogama linguEmily wathi kwiphephandaba laseKhalifoniya, eUnited States: “Abona bantu bahlonelwa kakhulu ababandakanyeki kwiintlobano zesini.”
Ufanele ubancede abantwana bakho baqonde ukuba isini siyimpembelelo enamandla—sinamandla kangangokuba siye savelisa uhlanga loluntu luphela. Noko ke, oku akuthethi ukuba asinakulawuleka. Kunoko, kuthetha ukuba njengenqwelo-mafutha ebaleka gqitha, sifanele sisetyenziswe ngendlela efanelekileyo, ngokuvisisana nemithetho yendlela. Ukutyeshela imithetho kwindlela yasentabeni enamagophe kunokukhokelela kwintlekele. Ukutyeshela imithetho enikelwe nguThixo engokuziphatha ngokwesini kuya kuba nemiphumo efanayo. Unokubanceda njani abantwana bakho, obathanda gqitha, ukuba basiqonde esi sibakala?
Bafundise Ukuba Ubunyulu Buxabisekile
Xubusha nomntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo umzekelo omhle weBhayibhile wenzwakazi engumShulamikazi oselula. Ngeqhayiya yayinokuthi: “Ndaba ludonga mna, namabele am anjengenqaba.” Ngokokuziphatha yayinjengodonga olungakhwelekiyo lwenqaba eneemboniselo zayo ezingafikelelekiyo. Yaye emehlweni alowo wayeya kuba ngumyeni wayo, yaba “njengofumene uxolo.” Ewe, uxolo lwengqondo olungaphazanyiswa yintlungu yokuzisola luyingenelo etyebileyo yobunyulu.—INgoma yazo iiNgoma 8:10.
Kodwa osemtsha unokuhlala njani ebambelele ngokuqinileyo ekuziphatheni okuhle, njengodonga? Ngaphambi kokuba imibandela enjalo ivele, ufanele uqiniseke ukuba umntwana wakho okhulela ebuntwini obukhulu uyayazi imfuneko yokuchul’ ukunyathela ngokuphepha iimeko ezinokukhokelela, nezisoloko zikhokelela, ekuziphatheni okubi. Ngokomzekelo, bafanele bazi ukuba kanye njengokuba ukuqhuba uphantsi kweempembelelo zotywala kunokukhokelela kwintlekele, ngoko intlekele inokubakho kumatheko abeshumi elivisayo abathi kuwo abanye bazise utywala okanye apho kungekho mntu mkhulu.
Ngokufanayo, bancede bakuxabise ukuba ukuba wedwa endlwini (okanye egumbini) nomnye umntu osemtsha wesini esahlukileyo kukuvulela isilingo ukuba singene. Ulutsha lufanele luyibone ngokucacileyo ingozi yokuziphatha esenokubakho ngokuvumela nabani na olungatshatanga naye ukuba aluphathaphathe kumalungu anqabileyo, kuquka amabele. Bacacisele ukuba isihendo sidla ngokuqalisa ngokuphathaphathwa okuvuselela isini kwamalungu anjalo omzimba.—Thelekisa eyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 7:1.
Ufanele ubancede abantwana bakho abathandekayo baqonde ukuba uthando lokwenene luthetha okungakumbi ngokupheleleyo kunesini nokuba iintlobano zesini ngaphandle komtshato ziphosakele. Lumbi ulutsha lubandakanyeka kwiintlobano zesini ngaphambi kokungenela iqhina lomtshato. Lunokuba neentlobano zesini namaqabane aliqela kwaye lungaze lutshate. Ngoko, njengoko iminyaka ihamba yaye luqonda ukuba ngokwenene lufuna iqabane lomtshato, luzifumana lungamalolo yaye lulahliwe. Enyanisweni, akukho bani wakha wafuna ukuzibopha kunye nalo, kodwa akukho bani wakhe wenza idinga kunye nalo.
Oonyana neentombi zenu bafanele bazi ukuba ubunyulu babo buxabiseke gqitha ukuba bungachithwa okwamanzi amdaka. Nceda umntwana wakho abone ukuba uqheliselo lwesini olonwabisa ngokuzeleyo lunokuzuzwa kuphela phakathi kwelungiselelo elingcwele lomtshato. Kwintetho entle nengumbongo, iBhayibhile ithi: “Sela amanzi kwelakho iqula, nemiqukuqela yamanzi ephuma emthonjeni wakho. Mayiphalale phandle imithombo yakho, ibe yimijelo yamanzi ezitratweni. Malisikelelwe ithende lakho, uvuye ngumfazi wobutsha bakho.”—IMizekeliso 5:15, 16, 18.
Njengabazali abanothando, nifanele nenze umzamo oqinisekileyo wokufundisa ezi nyaniso. Oku kulucelomngeni olukhethekileyo namhlanje, kuba ukukhulelwa kwabo bangatshatanga ngokuqhelekileyo kuyinto eyamkelekileyo. ULillian, umongikazi ongumbelekisi, uthi akasothuswa kukubona uloyiko emehlweni otata ongatshatanga oneminyaka eli-15 ubudala xa umzali wakhe onamabhongo emnika ukuba afunqule unyana osandul’ ukuzalwa yena angakulungelanga, angenamdla okanye angakwaziyo ukumamkela.
Omnye umsasazi weenkqubo zikamabonwakude wabonisa ukuba ‘amabhinqa amaninzi aselula gqitha anabantwana kodwa angenabayeni’ ngokufuthi awakwazi ukugqiba esikolweni, awakwazi kusebenza engakwazi nokukhulisa abantwana bawo ngendlela efanelekileyo. Wathi, aba mama bakwishumi elivisayo “babambiseke kwiintlekele abazibangele ngokwabo. . . . Ubuhlwempu phantse ukuba abuphepheki yaye bubonakala busenza umjikelo ombi gqitha.”
Umzekelo Wakho Wobuqu
Indlela eniziphatha ngayo iya kuba nomphumo ohlala uhleli kubantwana benu. Ngamany’ amaxesha oku kunokuba yinyaniso ngeendlela ezincinane gqitha ngakumbi kunokuba ucinga. Kwenzeka ntoni xa utata eneliso elibhadulayo? Okanye xa umama esithi, “Ayisentle ngako!” njengoko kudlula indoda enomtsalane? Ngaba abazali abanjalo bakhuthaza abantwana babo ukuba babe nyulu? Ukuba iimpawu zomzimba zezona zinto uziqwalasela ngokukhethekileyo, ngaba ufanele wothuke xa abantwana bakho bebeka iimpawu zokwenyama ngaphambi kokuziphatha okuhle, ububele, uthando lokwenyaniso okanye ukuzinikela komntu kuThixo?
Ngoko ke ukufundisa abantwana bakho ngoko bafanele bakwazi ngesini kubandakanya okuninzi ngakumbi kunokuba ubucinga. Kubandakanya isimo sakho sengqondo, umoya owubangelayo ekhaya, ukukulungela kwakho ukufundisa abantwana bakho besebancinane kwanomzekelo owumiselayo. Kucacile ukuba, konke oku kufuna ixesha nomgudu, kodwa umvuzo mkhulu!
Ngaba Akukabafundisi Nangoku?
Kodwa kuthekani ukuba abantwana bakho baphantse ukuba sebekhulile, yaye akukazixubushi ezi zinto kunye nabo? Ngokulula unokuthi: “Ngokwenene ndenze impazamo ngokulinda ixesha elide kangaka ndinganixeleli ezi zinto, kodwa ndifuna gqitha ukuba nibe nobona bomi bulungileyo kangangokuba ndifanele ndizame kanye ngoku.”
Enyanisweni, kulunge ngakumbi ukuyixubusha le mibandela nabantwana bakho xa bebadadlana kunokuba ungayixubushi konke konke. Ukufundisa abantwana bakho ngokuziphatha kuyimbopheleleko nelungelo elibalulekileyo. URon Moglia weYunivesithi yaseNew York wathi: “Nawuphi na umzali olirhoxisayo ilungelo lokuthetha nomntwana wakhe ngesini ulahla amanye awona mava amnandi anokuwazuza.”
Ukuba kutshanje uye waqalisa ukuyazi imilinganiselo kaThixo yokuziphatha yaye abantwana bakho bayazi ukuba wawungaphili ngayo ngaphambili, qiniseka ukuba bayasiqonda isizathu sokuba uye wenza iinguqulelo ngoku. Usenokubacebisa ukuba bafunde eli phephancwadi wandule ke ulungiselele ukuxubusha le nkcazelo kunye nabo. Awufanele uze udinyazwe ngumntu oselula othi: “Tyhini, ndiyakwazi konke oko!” Iingcamango ezingekhoyo ezifunyanwa kubantwana besikolo okanye koontanga babantwana bakho nokuba ngamava angokusebenza kwesini awaluthabathel’ indawo ukhokelo olungokuziphatha okuhle. Inyaniso ikukuba ukutyeshela kunokukhokelela kwintlekele.
Ukuqeqesha abantwana bakho kunokufuna umgudu omkhulu, kodwa umvuzo unokuba mkhulu gqitha! Kunjengokuba iBhayibhile ivakalisa, ngokulula nangokucacileyo: “Ohamba ngengqibelelo yakhe elilungisa, hayi, uyolo loonyana bakhe emva kwakhe!”—IMizekeliso 20:7.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 9]
Umabonwakude ufundisa ntoni ngesini?
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 10]
Ukutyeshela imigaqo yokuqhuba ngokufuthi kukhokelela kwiingxaki ezinzulu, ibe kunjalo nangokutyeshela imigaqo engokuziphatha kobuthixo