Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Kutheni Ndimele Ndibe Sekhaya Kusesemini Kangaka?

“NGABA kukho nawuphi na kuni onexesha alimiselweyo lokuba abe sekhaya ngalo?” UVukani! wabuza iqela lolutsha. Laphendula lonke ngamxhelo mnye lathi ewe! Noko ke, umbuzo olandelayo waxhokonxa iimpendulo ezahlukahlukeneyo. Sabuza: “Nicinga ukuba nifanele nivunyelwe ukuba ngaphandle kwamasango kude kube xesha liphi?”

UMonicaa okwishumi elivisayo wathi: “Ndicinga ukuba ufanele wenze nantoni na ethethwa ngabazali bakho.” UBill oselula akazange avumelane naye. Wathi: “Andiqondi ukuba bafanele bakuxelele ixesha omawube sekhaya ngalo. Ngapha koko, mhlawumbi nabo babehlala ngaphandle kwamasango kude kube sebusuku ngoxa babengabantwana.” USally okwishumi elivisayo akazange axhase nanye kwezi: “Ndicinga ukuba ufanele ube sekhaya ngexesha abazali bakho abakufuna ngalo​—⁠logama nje kungekho ngaphambi kwentsimbi yesi–8:​00 ngokuhlwa.” Ekugqibeleni, sabuza uJerry, owabonakala engafuni nokuva nento le. Wathi: “Kunokuba basixelele ukuba sibuye ngexesha elithile, kutheni singenakusuka nje sibatsalele umnxeba sibaxelele apho sikhoyo? Bafanele babe baziqonda ngakumbi iimeko.”

Enoba ziyintoni na iimbono zakho, kusenokwenzeka ukuba abazali bakho bakumisele ixesha omele ube sekhaya ngalo. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ngumgaqo ongenakuguqulwa: ‘Yiba sekhaya ngentsimbi ye–10:​00 ngokuhlwa okanye!’ Okanye mhlawumbi indlela abazali bakho abamisela ngayo amaxesha okufika ekhaya ixhomekeka kwiimeko. Enye intombazana eneminyaka eli-16 ubudala ecatshulwe kwiphephancwadi i’Teen ithi: “Emva kokuba bemazile umntu endihamba naye nalapho siya khona bamisela ixesha endifanele ndibuye ngalo. Konke oko kuxhomekeka kubantu endihamba nabo nakwindawo esiya kuyo.” Kwanoselula obonakala enenkululeko engenamida, nto leyo enqabileyo, ngokuqhelekileyo umele anike abazali bakhe ulwazi oluthile ngendawo aya kuyo nexesha aya kubuya ngalo.

Uninzi lolutsha alubonakali luphazamiseka ngokugqithiseleyo yiloo miqathango. Kodwa lumbi lubona ukumiselwa ixesha lokubuya kuxakekisa yaye kuphazamisana ngokugqithiseleyo nocwangciso lobuqu. Incwadi ethi Teens Speak Out, nguJane Rinzler, icaphula enye intombazana eneminyaka eli-16 ubudala ikhalaza: “Ndivakalelwa ngokungathi ndingumntwana yaye andinankululeko yokuzikhethela.” Olunye lukuthiy’ egazini ukumiselwa ixesha lokuba sekhaya ngenxa yokuba kubangela iziphazamiso ebomini balo. Omnye oselula uthi: “Ngaphambi kokuba ndimke ekhaya kufuneka ndixelele umama apho ndiya khona, umntu endihamba naye, into endiza kuya nendiza kubuya ngayo.”

Ixesha Lokuba Sekhaya ​—⁠Imbono Yabazali

Kutheni abazali bakho bengakuvumeli nje ukuba uhambe uze ubuye ngexesha othanda ngalo? Kaloku, khawucinge “ngomda” uThixo awakha wawumisela uhlanga lwakwaSirayeli. Ngobusuku bomthendeleko wePasika yokuqala ngowe-1513 B.C.E., uThixo wayalela amaSirayeli: “Kuni ze kungaphumi mntu emnyango wendlu yakhe kude kuse.” (Eksodus 12:​12, 22) Ngaba lo mthetho kaThixo wawungekho ngqiqweni? Akunjalo. Wawuza kubakhusela ekubulaweni sisithunywa sikaYehova!

Nangona imeko namhlanje isenokungangxamiseki kangako, abazali abaninzi banezizathu zokuzama ukukhusela abantwana babo abakwishumi elivisayo. Ngapha koko, kungokwemvelo ukuxhalaba kwabazali ngabantwana babo. Abazali bakaYesu Kristu ‘babebuhlungu kakhulu’ xa babengayazi indawo akuyo​—⁠yaye wayengumntwana ofezekileyo! (Luka 2:​41-48) Abazali bakho bayazi ukuba akufezekanga kwaphela. Ngokuqinisekileyo ngamathuba athile baya kukhathazeka ngawe, nokuba akungomntu uhamba eqhwaya inkathazo. Kutheni kunjalo?

Kungenxa yokuba abazali bakho bayayazi indlela “iinkanuko zobutsha” ezinokuba namandla ngayo. (2 Timoti 2:​22) Basenokuba banamava obuqu okuba “umntwana oyekelelweyo udanisa unina!” (IMizekeliso 29:​15) Omnye umzali wavuma: “Ndandingalawuleki ngoxa ndandikwishumi elivisayo. Ndiyakwazi onokukufihlela abazali bakho.” Ngoko xa abazali bakho besiva ngokuziphatha okubi ngokwesini kwabeshumi elivisayo, ukusebenzisa kakubi iziselo ezinxilisayo neziyobisi okanye amatheko angalawulekiyo aselumelwaneni, ngokuchanileyo banokugqiba kwelokuba imiqathango ethile ifanelekile.

Kwakhona abazali bakho basenokuba nenkxalabo efanelekileyo ngokhuseleko lwakho. IBhayibhile isixelela ukuba xa oonyana bakasolusapho uYakobi bengazange babuye ngokukhawuleza kummandla wakwaShekem, uYakobi waxelela unyana wakhe uYosefu: “Khawuye kukhangela ukuphila kwabakhuluwa bakho . . . , ubuye uze kundixelela.” (Genesis 37:​13, 14) Wayengenziwa kukungabathembi. Ngenxa yeziganeko ezazehle kwiminyaka engaphambili, ummandla wakwaShekem wawuyingozi ukuba oonyana bakaYakobi babe kuwo!​—⁠IGenesis, isahluko 34.

Namhlanje ihlabathi liyingozi ngakumbi kunokuba lalinjalo ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile​—⁠okanye kwanaxa abazali bakho babeselula. Singene nzulu ngakumbi kunangaphambili ‘kwimihla yokugqibela,’ ixesha iBhayibhile eyaprofeta yathi laliya kubonakala ‘ngamaxesha anomngcipheko ekunzima ukujamelana nawo.’ (NW) Igama lesiGrike eliguqulelwe ngokuthi “ekunzima ukujamelana nawo” lisenokuguqulelwa ngokuthi “amaxongo,” “anobungozi,” “abangela ubuhlungu” nangokuthi “anzima.” (King James Version, Douay, English Revised Version, Moffatt) Abantu abaninzi namhlanje ‘abanakuzeyisa,’ okanye ‘baziindlobongela.’ (2 Timoti 3:​1-⁠5; ITestamente Entsha yenguqulelo entsha yeBhayibhile yesiXhosa) Ulwaphulo-mthetho olunobundlobongela, kuquka ukudlwengula nokubulala, zizinto ezimbi ezenziwayo ebomini namhlanje.

Abazali bakho bayazi nokuba unokungena lula ngakumbi ezingxakini njengokuba kusiya kusihlwa. Enye intombazana yavuma oku kuVukani!: “Izinto ezimbi zinokwenzeka ebusuku, yaye abazali bakho bazama ukukukhusela.” Omnye oselula wachaza: “Emva kweenzulu zobusuku, baninzi abaqhubi abanxilileyo endleleni, yaye kuhle ukuba ungabikho ndleleni ngelo xesha.”

Kodwa kukho neengozi zokuziphatha. Njengoko kusiya kusihlwa, imiqathango yokuziphatha iyayekelelwa, yaye ihambo yobundlobongela iya isithi chatha. Ngoko, ngokufanelekileyo iBhayibhile inxulumanisa ihambo yokuzibhubhisa neeyure zangokuhlwa. KuIsaya 5:​11, uThixo wathi “yeha” kwabo babeye “balibale kude kube lungcwalazi, ide ibatshise iwayini!” (Thelekisa eyoku-1 kwabaseTesalonika 5:⁠7.) Ngoko ke, abazali bakho basenganoloyiko lokuba okukhona uhlala ngaphandle kwamasango kude kube sebusuku, kokukhona usiba sengozini enkulu yokubandakanyeka kumatheko angalawulekiyo, ekusebenziseni kakubi iziselo ezinxilisayo okanye ekuziphatheni okubi ngokwesini. Ngoko ukuba akukho sekhaya xa abazali bakho bevakalelwa kukuba ubufanele kukuba ukho, basenokuxhalaba. Yaye umele ubachazele ngokungabikho kwakho.

Enye intombazana eselula ikhumbula oku: “Ndakhe ndahlala kwindlu yomhlobokazi wam kwade kwasebusuku. Umama wayengazi apho ndikhoyo, ngoko waya kundikhangela. Waqala ngokuhamba ekhangela elumelwaneni ehamba endikhwaza!” Ngaba akucingi ukuba oko kwakubangel’ iintloni? Ngokuqinisekileyo kwakunjalo. Kodwa kunjengokuba omnye umama wachazayo, “Ndicinga ngezona zinto zimbi zinokwenzeka ngalo lonke ixesha [iintombi zam] zifika ekhaya sekumnyama.”

Kuthetha Ukuba Bayakhathala

Kodwa kuthekani ukuba ihambo yokuzibhubhisa ayikhe ithi qatha nokuthi qatha engqondweni yakho? Kuthekani ukuba ufuna nje ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo bakho? Kuyavunywa ukuba, inokudandathekisa into yokuba kufuneke uhlale ekhaya ngoxa abanye oontanga bakho bevunyelwa ukuphuma. Isenokubangela iintloni into yokuba kufuneke uchazele abahlobo bakho ukuba akunakuhamba nabo kuba kufuneka usekhaya kwangethuba. Kodwa xa uzikisa ukucinga ngako oku, iyinyaniso ingxelo yomnye oselula ogama linguLeslie. Uthi: “Yintoni oza kuyenza ngentsimbi yeshumi elinesibini ongenakuyenza ngentsimbi yesibhozo?” Ngamanye amazwi, ngaba ezona ntlobo zokuzonwabisa zifanelekileyo azinakunanditshwa ngoxa abantu bengekalali? Ngoko kutheni uzibeka esichengeni seengozi zokuhamba ebusuku?

Enye ingongoma yokuphononongwa: Ngaba xa uhlala kude kube sebusuku ulisebenzisa kakuhle ixesha lakho? IBhayibhile ikhuthaza amaKristu: “Khangelani ngoko, ukuba ningathini na, ukuze kucokiseke ukuhamba kwenu; ningabi njengabaswele ubulumko, yibani njengezilumko; nizongela ixesha eli, ngokuba le mihla ayindawo.” (Efese 5:​15, 16) Ngapha koko, ngaba ukuhamba ebusuku kuya kuwuphucula umsebenzi wakho wesikolo okanye kuya kukunceda ugqibe imisebenzi yendlu? Ngaba kuya kukuphazamisa ungakwazi ukuphulaphula ngenyameko kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu?

Okokugqibela, umqathango owubekelweyo unokuzama ukuwujonga njengembonakaliso yothando lobuzali. Kwincwadi yakhe ethi How to Raise Parents, umbhali uClayton Barbeau uyabuza: “Ubuya kucinga ntoni ukuba mna, njengomzali wakho, bendithe kuwe, ‘Andikhathali nokuba ungasebenzisa iziyobisi okanye usele okanye utshaye. Andikhathali nokuba uqhuba ngesantya esiphakamileyo. Andikhathali nokuba uhamba kude kube sebusuku kangakanani na. . . .’ Bendiya kuba ndikuxelela ntoni? Kakade ke: Bendiya kuba ndithi, ‘Andikuthandi. Andikukhathalele. Akubalulekanga kum.’” Liyinyaniso elokuba, ngamathuba athile usenokulumonela ulutsha olunandipha inkululeko engakumbi. Kodwa khumbula: “Oyiyekileyo intonga yakhe umthiyile unyana wakhe; ke omthandayo umqeqesha esemncinane.”​—⁠IMizekeliso 13:⁠24.

Ubomi bakho bonke kuya kufuneka uphile ngemithetho nemiqathango. Ngoko kutheni uchasa umqathango nje olula wokufika ngexesha ekhaya? Kuyinyaniso ukuba ngamathuba athile amanye amaxesha amiselwayo okuba sekhaya asenokuba ayabaxwa, yaye inqaku lenkupho ezayo liya kukunceda uhlangabezane naloo meko. Noko ke, ngokuqhelekileyo, wenza ngobulumko ngokusebenzisana nabazali bakho uze uzame ukuziqonda iimvakalelo zabo. IMizekeliso 28:⁠7 ithi: “Obamba umyalelo ngunyana onengqondo.” Mhlawumbi ekuhambeni kwethuba uya kuzibona izinto ngendlela elizibona ngayo elinye ibhinqa eliselula elithi: “Ndandingasiqondi isizathu sokuba umama notata babendikhusela kangaka yaye babecaphuka xa ndibuya ebusuku. Njengokuba nam ndingumzali ngoku, ndiyasazi isizathu sokuba umama wayehlala andilinde. Kungenxa yokuba wayendikhathalele!”

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 29]

Ulutsha ludla ngokuyicaphukela into yokugoduka kuselithuba