Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Kutheni Utatomkhulu Nomakhulu Bezokuhlala Nathi?

UBUDLA ngokukunandipha ukuba wedwa kwigumbi lakho lokulala. Ngoku uhlala kunye nomntakwenu okanye udade wenu. Ubudla ngokukwazi ukumema abahlobo bakutyelele. Ngoku akunako kuba ‘bangxola gqitha.’ Ubudla ngokuba nexesha lokuzonwabisa nelokuzihlaziya. Ngoku ixesha lakho elininzi lithatyathwe yimisebenzi yasekhaya. Abazali bakho babedla ngokuzola yaye kulula ngawe ukuthetha nabo. Ngoku bayakhawuleza ukucaphuka, abanamonde. Ewe, utatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho baye bazokuhlala nani, yaye izinto azihambi ngendlela ebeziqhele ukuhamba ngayo.

Asikokuba akumthandi utatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho. Kodwa ukuhlala nabo kusenokungasoloko kulula. Uzibona sewuphelelwa ngumonde, ucatshukiswa nazizinto ezibonakala zingenamsebenzi. Omnye umntu oselula ogama linguVictoria ukuchaza ngale ndlela oku: “Abantu abalupheleyo banendlela ethile yokwenza izinto. Umakhulu uya kundicela ukuba ndimphathele isihlalo sokubeka iinyawo, nakubeni isihlalo sakhe esinamavili sinaso esakhelwe kuso. Okanye ndinokufika ekhaya ndidiniwe, ndifuna ukukhe ndingqengqe okwexeshana, kunoko uya kufuna ukuthetha nam. Umakhulu uya kuthetha ngoxa sifuna ukubukela umabonwakude. Ukuba uyabukela, uziqonda ngokuphosakeleyo zonke iinkcukacha, yaye simele simcacisele.”

Ukuba utatomkhulu okanye umakhulu wakho okanye bobabini bazokuhlala nani, kunokwenzeka ukuba uva ingcinezelo yaye udidekile. Noko ke, thoba izibilini​—⁠intsapho yakowenu ayahlukani. Kuphela izivumelanisa nemeko enzima. Yaye unokwenza okungakumbi ukuze ulondoloze ulonwabo noxolo lwakho lwengqondo (1) ngokuziqonda nangokuzamkela iimbopheleleko zentsapho yakowenu (2) nangokuhlakulela ‘uvelwano’ lokwenene ngabazali nangotatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho.​—⁠1 Petros 3:⁠8.

Imbopheleleko YomKristu

Asiyontsapho yakowenu kuphela ejamelene nale meko. Ngokomzekelo, eUnited States, inkoliso yabantu abalupheleyo incedwa yaye ixhaswa ngokomlinganiselo othile ngabantwana bayo abakhulileyo; bambalwa abantu abalupheleyo abasiwa kumaziko athile njengamakhaya anyamekela abantu abalupheleyo.a IThe Intimate Environment, nguArlene S. Skolnick, ithi: “Abantu abaninzi gqitha abalupheleyo basoloko beqhagamshelana nabantwana babo, bebabona ngokufuthi, yaye bebhenela kubo ngamaxesha kaxakeka.”

Ngoxa kuyinto nje yokwemvelo ukuba umntu azive enembopheleleko ngabazali bakhe, amaKristu aziva enembopheleleko ngakumbi kuThixo. Umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Ke ukuba kukho mhlolokazi uthile unabantwana, nokuba ngabazukulwana, ukuqala mabafunde ukuhlonela elabo ikhaya, bababuyekezele umbuyekezo ooninakhulu; kuba oko kuhle, kwamkelekile emehlweni kaThixo. Ukuba ke umntu akabakhathalele abakhe, ngokukodwa abendlu yakhe, ulukhanyele ukholo, unobubi ngaphezu kongakholwayo.” (1 Timoti 5:​4, 8; thelekisa uMarko 7:​10-13.) Phawula ukuba abantwana kunye nabazukulwana bamele babelane ekunyamekeleni ‘ababo.’

UYesu Kristu wamisela umzekelo kule nkalo. Nangona wayesifa ukufa okubuhlungu kumthi wentuthumbo, uYesu wazibekela ecaleni iingxaki zakhe waza wenza ilungiselelo lokunyamekela unina owalupheleyo, esabela umza wakhe uYohane ukuba amnyamekele. Nangona uYohane wayeneembopheleleko ezibalulekileyo njengompostile, wamthabathela kwikhaya lakhe umama kaYesu “kwakwelo lixa.”​—⁠Yohane 19:​26, 27.

Ngoko ke ukuhlonela abazali bakabani yimbopheleleko nelungelo lomKristu. (Efese 6:⁠2) Umzali akalahlwa ngenxa yokuba eye waluphala okanye efuna ukunyanyekelwa ngokukhethekileyo. (IMizekeliso 23:​22) Ngokubhekele phayaa iBhayibhile isixelela ukuba abantu abalupheleyo sibaphathe ngentlonelo ngenxa yobulumko namava abo. (Levitikus 19:​32; IMizekeliso 16:​31) Kaloku, uYehova uqhubana ngothando nabantu abalupheleyo yaye uyaqhubeka ebasebenzisa kwinkonzo yakhe!​—⁠Thelekisa uYoweli 2:​28; IZenzo 2:⁠17.

‘Andikhange Ndicinge Ukuba Kuya Kuba Nzima Kangaka’

Ngenxa yako konke oku, umele usixabise isizathu esibangele ukuba abazali bakho babize utatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho ukuba bazokuhlala nani. Ngokungathandabuzekiyo ekuqaleni uye wazama ukuba nolindelo, okanye ubuncinane ukuba nengqondo ephangaleleyo, ngayo yonke into. Wawusazi ukuba umele wenze iinguqulelo ezithile​—⁠kwanokuzincama. Kodwa ubusoloko unobuhlobo notatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho, ibe ubucinga ukuba olu lwalamano luhle luya kuqhubeka. Noko ke, ngoku ekubeni beye bazokuhlala nani, imeko uyifumanisa inzima gqitha kunoko wakhe wakuthelekelela.

Le yinto eqheleke kakhulu. Kwimimandla emininzi izizukulwana ezithathu​—⁠oomawokhulu, abazali nabantwana⁠—​ngokwesithethe zihlala kunye. Ukunyamekela abazali abagulayo okanye abaneziphene kuyinxalenye yesithethe sabo yaye akugqalwa njengento enzima gqitha. Kodwa kumazwe aseNtshona, apho ngokuqhelekileyo iintsapho zihlala kumakhaya azo ahlukileyo, ngokufuthi ukuhlala nabantu abalupheleyo kubonwa njengesiphazamiso esiyintloko. Noko ke, qiniseka ukuba asinguwe wedwa onobomi obuye baphazanyiswa. Eneneni, kusenokwenzeka ukuba le meko inzima gqitha kubazali nakutatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho kunokuba inzima kuwe.

Ubunzima Kubazali Bakho

Cingela abazali bakho kuqala. Ucinga ukuba ubunokuvakalelwa njani ukuba bekungafuneka ubabukele besaluphala yaye imeko yabo isiya isiba mbi ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwasengqondweni nangokweemvakalelo? Isenokukuchaphazela njani into yokuba abo ubusoloko uxhomekeke kubo baya bengakwazi ngokuthe ngcembe ukuzinyamekela? Ngaba lawo ibingayi kuba ngamava abuhlungu? Ngoko unokuyithelekelela indlela abazali bakho abavakalelwa ngayo ngokubona oku kusenzeka kubazali babo. Kuyaqondakala ukuba, maxa wambi basenokubonakala bekhathazekile okanye bengenamonde.

Kwakhona abazali bakho basenokufumanisa ukuba akusoloko kulula ukuqhubana notatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho. Ngokufuthi abantu abalupheleyo babuyela ekuphatheni abantwana babo abakhulileyo njengabantwana abancinane. (Ngamanye amazwi, kusenokwenzeka ukuba asinguwe wedwa endlwini oyalelwa ukuba ‘athule!’) Bambi abantu abalupheleyo batyekela ekuyikhalazeleni indlela abanyanyekelwa ngayo​—⁠maxa wambi bebek’ ityala abantwana abasebenza gqitha ngokuthi ababakhathaleli. Kwakhona bambi banomkhwa wokuthetha bevakalisa iimbono zabo ngendlela yokukhulisa abantwana, bebabek’ ityala abantwana babo abakhulileyo ngokuyekelela okanye ngokuba ngqongqo gqitha. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba abazali bakho bayazi ukuba utatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho abazami ukuba nolunya okanye ukukhohlakala. Kodwa ekubeni sele bencame izinto ezingakumbi, abazali bakho basenokuzicaphukela ngokukrakra naziphi na izigxeko ababekwa zona. Yaye xa besabela ngokuphatha utatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho ngendlela engabonisi uthando okanye umonde, basenokuziva benetyala yaye benomsindo.

Kwakhona abazali bakho basenokungonwabi ngeenguqulelo ekwakufuneka bazenze kwindlela abaphila ngayo. Kusenokuba kukho imali encinane yokuhlangabezana neentswelo zentsapho. Ukuba bobabini abazali bakho bayasebenza, iimfuno ezingakumbi zokunyamekela zisenokubashiya bediniwe, bephelelwe ngamandla. Kwakhona kusenokunyanzeleka baziyeke iindlela zangaphambili zokuphumla nezokuzihlaziya. Yaye kukho iingxaki zomtshato ezinokubakho ngenxa yoku, ngokukodwa ukuba omnye umzali uvakalelwa kukuba uthwele umthwalo omkhulu wokunyamekela.

Imeko Katatomkhulu Nomakhulu Wakho Ebomini

Le meko isenokuba ayilulanga kutatomkhulu nakumakhulu wakho. IBhayibhile ibiza ukwaluphala ngokuthi ‘yimihla yobubi.’ (INtshumayeli 12:​1-⁠7) Ngokwenene, kubi ukubukela impilo kabani isiya isiba mbi ngokuba mbi. Yongezelela koko ubunzima bokuzibona ngequbuliso uhlala kwindawo entsha. Inkoliso yabantu abalupheleyo ikhetha ukuhlala yodwa yaye ifuna ukukhululeka. Eneneni, incwadi ethi The Intimate Environment icaphula iingcali ezimbini njengezithi: “Inkoliso yabantu abalupheleyo ifuna uthando nengqalelo kubantwana bayo, kodwa kungelulo ngokuyimfuneko uncedo lwabo ngemali, ngendawo yokuhlala, okanye ezinye iimbonakaliso zobubele. Eneneni, bambi banyula ukwenzela abantwana nabazukulwana babo izinto, kunokuba kube ngabo abenzelwa izinto.”

Ngoko, kunzima ngotatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho ukuva intlungu yokuphelelwa yinkululeko yabo​—⁠banyanzeleke ukuba baxhomekeke kwabo babekhe baxhomekeka kubo. Ngoko ungamangaliswa ukuba kunzima ukuqhubana nabo ngamaxesha athile. Yaye ekubeni bebekunandipha ukuhlala kwikhaya labo​—⁠noxolo nenzolo⁠—​kangangeminyaka emininzi, basenokufumanisa kunzima ukuba phakathi kwabeshumi elivisayo abanamandla ngokugqithiseleyo. Umculo nencoko ephezulu isenokubaphatha kakubi.

Kuyacaca ukuba: Ukuziqhelanisa nale meko kulucelomngeni kuye wonk’ ubani. Noko ke, ezinye iintsapho zamaKristu zijamelene nobunzima obufanayo yaye ziqhubana nabo ngokuphumelelayo. (Thelekisa eyoku-1 kuPetros 5:⁠9.) Isicombululo sikukuba uzabalazele ukubonakalisa ‘isiqhamo somoya’ ‘nobuntu obutsha’ ukusa kumlinganiselo omkhulu! (Galati 5:​22, 23; Efese 4:​24, NW; Kolose 3:​13, 14) Kunokuzahlula, sebenzisanani njengentsapho. Inkupho yethu elandelayo iza kuxubusha ngezinye iindlela ekunokwenziwa ngazo oku.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

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Ukuzokuhlala nani kukatatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho kusenokuthetha ukuphulukana nexesha lokuba wedwa