Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndinokulwenza Njani Uhlengahlengiso Njengoko Ngoku Sihlala Notatomkhulu Nomakhulu?

UBUSOLOKO unolwalamano oluhle notatomkhulu nomakhulu wakho. Ubukunandipha ukuba kunye nabo yaye elo ibiba lixesha elikhethekileyo. Kodwa ngoku naba beze kuhlala nentsapho yakowenu.

Xa utatomkhulu nomakhulu befudukela kowenu, oko kusenokuthetha uhlengahlengiso kuye wonke ubani obandakanyekileyo.a Elowo kufuneka enze uhlengahlengiso ngokuvisisana neendlela zabanye. Kodwa likho ithemba lokuba oko kunokwenzeka. Ngokusebenzisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile, unokuyinceda intsapho yakowenu isebenzisane, ingabi ngulowo atsalele kwelakhe icala.

Amandla Othando

Enye indlela yokunciphisa iingxaki entsatsheni kukusebenzisa umgaqo okweyoku-⁠1 kwabaseKorinte 16:​14: “Zonke izinto zenu mazenziwe ninothando.” Uthando lobuKristu ‘lugubungela inkitha yezono.’ (1 Petros 4:⁠8) Yaye njengoko uhlolisiso olwalukulindixesha othi Family Relations lwabonisayo, uthando lokwenene ngezalamane zikabani esele zikhulile luxabisekile; lunciphisa uxinezeleko nobunzima obubangelwa kukubonakalisa inkathalo.

Ngelishwa, asilulo lonke ulutsha olunothando olunjalo ngooyisemkhulu nooninakhulu balo. Bambi babajonga ngendelelo, njengabalupheleyo nekungekho nto yabo. Kodwa ulutsha lwamaKristu alubajongi ngolu hlobo abantu abakhulu. Lukhumbula amazwi akwiMizekeliso 20:29: “Ubuhle bamadoda amakhulu zizimvi.” Ewe, uyihlomkhulu nonyokokhulu bakhulile yaye banamava. Basenokuba ngumthombo obalaselayo wamacebiso nokhokelo, ingakumbi ukuba bangamaKristu. Yaye njengoninzi loomawomkhulu, basenokuba bakukhathalele ngokunzulu ngaphezu kokuba ucinga.​—⁠IMizekeliso 17:⁠6.

Ukuba ulwalamano lwenu belungekho senyongweni kude kube ngoku, kutheni ungazami ukuziguqula izinto? Ngaloo ndlela enye intombazana yagqiba kwelokuba yenze isenzo sobuhlobo. Iyabalisa: “Ndathengela umakhulu wam iikawusi ezimbala endandisazi ukuba wayeya kuwuthanda. Wayebonisa ngezo kawusi kuye wonke ubani owayetyelela!” Ngokufanayo, usenokuzama ukuncokola imizuzu embalwa yonke imihla. Okanye usengazenza ufumaneke ukuze bakuthume. Ukwenjenjalo kunokukunceda usondelelane nabo.

Kuyavunywa ukuba, iimeko zisenokuluvavanya uthando lwakhe wonke ubani. Kusenokubanzima ngabantu abakhulu ukuqhela indawo entsha yokuhlala. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba bayagula yaye abanakusoloko bonwabile. Yaye ngoxa kusenokufuneka wenze uhlengahlengiso oluthile kwindlela yakho yokuphila​—⁠mhlawumbi kwanokuzincama⁠—​kuqonde ukuba asinto ilula kwanakooyihlomkhulu. Eneneni, le isenokuba ‘yimihla yobubi’ kubo. (INtshumayeli 12:⁠1) Qonda ukuba aba banyamekela abazali bakho ngoxa babeselula. Inyameko oyinika ootatomkhulu bakho uThixo uyijonga ‘njengembuyekezo’ nanjengendlela yokubonisa uzinikelo lwakho kuye.​—⁠1 Timoti 5:⁠4; Yakobi 1:⁠27.

Ubuchule Bokuyekelela

Noko ke, ngokufuthi iingxaki zisenokuphetshwa, ukuba ubonakalisa ulwazelelelo lokungazingci ngootatomkhulu bakho. (Filipi 2:⁠4) Ngokomzekelo, unokukhumbula ukuba ngokufuthi abantu abakhulu abayifuni ingxolo; umculo odlalelwa phezulu unokubacaphukisa. (INtshumayeli 12:⁠4) Basenokucaphuka ukuba uyangxola ngalo lonke ixesha utyelelwe ngabahlobo bakho. Ngokulula nje iimbambano ezinjalo zisengaba sisizeka-bani sengxabano. Kodwa iBhayibhile isikhumbuza ukuba “ubulumko baphezulu . . . boboxolo; buyancendezela.”​—⁠Yakobi 3:⁠17.

Umntu woxolo ukhuthaza uxolo. Ukulungele ukwenza umgudu okhethekileyo​—⁠kwanokuba oko kuza kumxakekisa⁠—​ukuze agcine ulwalamano oluhle nabanye. Ngokufanayo, umntu onolwazelelo akafuni ukuba nguzwilakhe ngalo lonke ixesha kodwa ukulungele ukuyekela kwiimbono zomnye umntu. Ucinga ngezo ngcamango, zama ukuthetha nootatomkhulu bakho uzolile. Kunokubanga “amalungelo” akho, zama ukuba ngoyekelelayo.

Mhlawumbi abahlobo bakho banokutyelela xa ootatomkhulu bakho beyokuthenga. Okanye basengayinyamezela ingxolo ukuba abahlobo bakho bangatyelela kusesemini. Kambe ke, akunokusoloko kuvunyelwana, yaye kunokulunga ngakumbi ukuba uyekele kukhetho lwabo. Mhlawumbi unokubonana nabahlobo bakho kwenye indawo okanye ukuba ufuna ukuphulaphula umculo usenokuphulaphula ngeeheadphones. Ngaba oko kuyaxakekisa? Ngokungathandabuzekiyo. Kodwa ngokwenza oko ugcina uxolo.

Ubuchule bokuba ngoyekelelayo buyanceda ukuba ootatomkhulu bakho banemikhwa ekuphazamisayo. Ngokomzekelo, basengabonakala bethanda ukukuphazamisa xa ufuna ukuba wedwa. Mhlawumbi basengafuna ukuncokola ngoxa usenza umsebenzi wakho wesikolo owenzelwa ekhaya. Kunokuba ucaphuke, kuqonde ukuba mhlawumbi banesithukuthezi yaye banqwenela nje ukuba kunye nawe. Ukuzahlula kwakho okanye ukungabakhathaleli kunokuyenza mbi ngakumbi imeko kuze kubonise ukungabi nantlonelo ngabo. (IMizekeliso 18:⁠1) UChris oneminyaka eli-19 ubudala waphumelela ekubeni ngoyekelelayo. Uthi: “Iba ndim oqalisa ukuncokola nomakhulu ngamaxesha asilungeleyo sobabini.”

Gcina Ukulungelelana Kwakho

Kuthekani ukuba ootatomkhulu bakho bafuna ulwazelelelo nenkathalo? Ukuthanda ootatomkhulu bakho akuthethi ukuba umele uyithwale wedwa le mbopheleleko. Eneneni, iBhayibhile ibonisa ukuba imisebenzi enjalo ifanele yabiwe phakathi ‘kwabantwana nabazukulwana’ abangamaKristu. (1 Timoti 5:⁠4) Ngoko ke abazali bakho banembopheleleko eyintloko kule nkalo yaye banokumisela indlela onokwabiwa ngayo ngokulinganayo umsebenzi. Ngokubhekele phaya, eyoku-⁠1 kaPetros 1:​13 (NW) ibongoza amaKristu ukuba ‘aphaphe,’ okanye njengoko inguqulelo yombhalo osemazantsi iyibeka ngokuthi, “yibani ngabalungeleleneyo.” Ukwabelwa uxanduva olukhulu ngokugqithiseleyo emsebenzini kunokukudinisa kuze, ekugqibeleni, kukhulise intiyo.

Ukulungelelana kobuKristu kuya kukunceda kwakhona ukuba uhlangabezane neentsilelo zobuqu kunye nezamanye amalungu entsapho. Liyinyaniso elokuba nonke nifanele nenze imigudu ekhethekileyo yokubonisa ‘isiqhamo somoya kaThixo.’ (Galati 5:​22, 23) Kodwa ke nangona ezimisele ukwenza okulungileyo, amalungu entsapho asenokuba notyekelo lokuphelelwa ngumonde. Kunokuba ucaphuke, lamkele elokuba “siyakhubeka kaninzi sonke. Ukuba umntu akakhubeki zwini, lowo uyindoda egqibeleleyo, enako ukuwubamba ngomkhala nawo umzimba uphela.” (Yakobi 3:⁠2) Ngokwenene ukungqubana kwentsapho ngamathuba athile akufanele kubangele ukuxhalaba ngokunzulu.

Ukuphalaza Imbilini

Ukuba nje unokunxibelelana nabazali bakho izinto unokuzilungisa. “Iingcinga ziyatshitsha ngokungabikho kokucweya.” (IMizekeliso 15:​22) Ngokomzekelo ngaba uyayicaphukela into yokuba ungasenagumbi lilelakho? Ngaba ukhathazekile kuba ucinga ukuba uthwele umthwalo oluxanduva ngokukhathalela ootatomkhulu bakho? Kunokuba uqumbe okanye udakumbe, xelela abazali bakho indlela ovakalelwa ngayo.

Kambe ke, abazali bakho basenokuba nabo basebunzimeni yaye basenokungabi nandlela yakuziguqula izinto. Ngoko khangela ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuthetha nabo ngelizwi elithambileyo, elicengayo, uthethe ngale ngxaki ngendlela oqhele ukwenza ngayo kwiingxaki zakho ngokuqhelekileyo. (IMizekeliso 15:​23) Nyaniseka uze ucacise xa uchaza loo nto ikukhathazayo. (Efese 4:​25) Wakuba uchaze konke, usengaphulaphulwa ngenyameko. Yaye kusengenzeka ufumane izicombululo ezisebenzisekayo.

Mhlawumbi kusenokulungiselelwa indawo ethile kwalapho endlwini ukuze uyisebenzise xa ufuna indawo yokufundela okanye yokwenza ufundisiso. Okanye eminye imisetyenzana engakumbi kunokwabelwana ngayo ukuba unabantakwenu noodade wenu. Kwenye intsapho kwagqitywa kwelokuba inkwenkwana ekwishumi elivisayo ifundele umakhulu wayo​—⁠nto leyo ababeyinandipha yaye beyilangazelela bobabini. Oodade wabo ababini bababelwe ukuncedisa ekumhlambeni nasekumnxibiseni.

Amava Anomvuzo

Alithandabuzeki elokuba, ukuhlala nootatomkhulu ekhaya kunokuba ngamava amatsha ebomini​—⁠kubo kunye nakuwe. Kodwa ukuba nonke nibonisa umonde, uthando nokulungela ukuyekelela, inokuba ngamava anomvuzo ngokwenene. Unganethuba lokuvelisa ubuhlobo obufudumeleyo nobothando nabantu ababini abalumkileyo nabanamava abakukhathalele ngokwenene. Ubuhlobo obunjalo bunokungqineka busanelisa ngakumbi kunobuhlobo bokwethutyana nontanga wakho. Yaye kunokukunceda ukhule. Elinye ibhinqa eliselula uBeverly lithi: “Ukunceda umakhulu wam ndikugqala njengethuba lokufunda iimpawu zokuzincama eziya kundinceda ebomini kamva.”

Omnye oselula ogama linguAaron wafumanisa okufanayo. Uthi: “Ukuchitha ixesha nomakhulu wam kwandenza ndakwazi ukuthetha nabantu abakhulileyo ebandleni. Ndandifudula ndibulisa nje kubo. Ngoku ndizipha imizuzwana yokukhe ndincokole nomntu ngamnye. Ndiyakunandipha! Yaye ngoku aba bantu bakhulileyo ndibajonga njengabahlobo bam.”

Ngoko musa ukwanela kukuyinyamezela nje imeko; yisebenzise ngeyona ndlela iya kuba yingenelo! Ekuhambeni kwexesha usenokuwujonga njengoyintsikelelo umhla abafika ngawo ootatomkhulu bakho kowenu.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 15]

Ubuhlobo obunandiphayo noonyokokhulu bunokungqineka busanelisa ngokwenene