Inkululeko Yokuthetha Ekhaya—Ngaba Yinto Enokubangela Ingozi?
XA UBANI othi exoka akhwaze athi “Kuyatsha!” kwindawo enyakazelayo yokubukela imifanekiso eshukumayo baze abanye banyathelwe bafe ngoxa begxalathelana ukuya kuphuma emnyango, ngaba lowo ukhwazayo akamele abekwe ityala ngemiphumo ebangela ukufa neengozi? Xa ubani esithi, “Andivumelani noko ukuthethayo, kodwa ndiya kulikhusela ilungelo lakho lokukuthetha,” ngaba unikwe igunya elipheleleyo, inkululeko engasikelwanga mda, ukuba uthethe into oyithandayo ngokuphandle, ingakhathaliseki imiphumo yoko? Kukho abo bacinga njalo.
Ngokomzekelo, eFransi, xa iimvumi zomculo werap zazikhuthaza ukubulawa kwamapolisa kwaza kwabulawa amapolisa ngabathile ababeve lo mculo, ngaba ezo mvumi zomculo werap zifanele zibekwe ityala ngokuxhokonxa ugonyamelo? Okanye ngaba zifanele zikhuselwe ngenxa yoxwebhu lwamalungelo? Xa abasasazi bakanomathotholo nabakamabonwakude neenkqubo zekhompyutha zisenza imiboniso yogonyamelo nengamanyala ifikelele ebantwaneni, eminye baye bayilinganisa baza benzakala benzakalisa nabanye, ngaba abasasazi bezinto ezinjalo bamele babekeke ityala?
Uhlolisiso olwenziwa yiAmerican Psychological Association “luqikelela ukuba umntwana nje oqhelekileyo, obukela umabonwakude iiyure ezingama-27 ngeveki, uya kubukela ukubulawa kwabantu izihlandlo ezingama-8000 nezenzo zogonyamelo ezili-100-000 ukususela kwiminyaka emi-3 ukuya kweli-12 ubudala,” latsho iphephancwadi i-U.S.News & World Report. Ngaba abazali bangakubetha ngoyaba oku njengokungenayo impembelelo ebantwaneni babo? Okanye ngaba kusenokuquka “ingozi ecacileyo neqhubekayo”? Ngaba oku kufanele kumisele imiqathango okanye kusikele umda ukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo?
Olunye uhlolisiso olwenziwa zizazi ngengqondo zaseyunivesithi lwatyhila ukuba xa umfanekiso ozotyiweyo “wamaqhawe angoophuma silwe” wawuboniswa rhoqo kwelinye iqela labantwana abaneminyaka emine ubudala “nongabangeli umdla” kwelinye iqela, ukubukela kwabo loo maqhawe esenza izinto ezihlasimlisa umzimba kusenokwenzeka ukuba babethe baze bagibisele izinto emva koko. Ugonyamelo abalufundiswa ngumabonwakude aluphumi naxa sele bedlulile ebuntwaneni. Olunye uhlolisiso olwenziwa yiyunivesithi, emva kokondela abantwana abangama-650 ukususela ngowe-1960 ukuya kowe-1995, kwaza kwajongwa imikhwa nendlela abenza ngayo xa bebukele umabonwakude, lwafumanisa ukuba abo babukela ezona nkqubo zikamabonwakude zinogonyamelo beselula bakhula baze babe ngoophuma silwe xa bebadala, kuquka ukuxhaphaza amaqabane abo omtshato nokuqhuba benxilile.
Ngoxa abanye abantwana besenokungayivumi imiphumo oba nayo kubo umabonwakude nemifanekiso eshukumayo, abanye bayayivuma. Ngowe-1995, iChildren Now, iqela elixhaswa eKhalifoniya, lenza uhlolisiso kubantwana abangama-750, abaneminyaka eli-10 ukuya kweli-16 ubudala. Olu hlolisiso lwabonisa ukuba, abathandathu kwabalishumi, bathi isini esiboniswa kumabonwakude siphembelela abantwana ukuba babe neentlobano zesini besebancinane gqitha ngeminyaka.
Abanye basenokuthi ugonyamelo lukamabonwakude nolwemifanekiso eshukumayo lusenokungathatyathwa njengento yokoqobo ngabantwana yaye yonke loo mifanekiso ishukumayo yoyikekayo ayinamiphumo kubo. Iphephandaba laseBritani lathi. “Kuloo meko, kwakutheni ukuze igosa lesikolo esikumbindi-ntshona weMerika lixelele amawaka abantwana ukuba kwakungekho Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles kwimibhobho yasekuhlaleni engaphantsi komhlaba yamanzi amdaka? Abalandeli abancinane beTurtle baberhubuluza kule mibhobho bezikhangela, kungenxa yeso sizathu.”
Namhlanje iingxoxo zishushu ngoko abanye bakugqala njengomahluko okhoyo phakathi kokuthetha ngokukhululekileyo nogonyamelo olubangelwa ziintetho ezichasene nokuqhomfa kwiindawo ezininzi eUnited States. Abo bachase ukuqhomfa bakhalaza ngokuphandle ngelithi oogqirha nabo baqhomfisayo basebenza ekliniki ngababulali ibe kwabona abanalungelo lakuphila. Iqaqobana elineengcwangu lifuna babulawe aba gqirha nezicaka zabo. Kubekwe oontamnani ukuze bafumane amacwecwe eenombolo ezithuthi zabo, ibe kunikezelwa ngamagama neekhelingi zabo. Ngenxa yoko, kuye kwadutyulwa kwaza kwabulawa oogqirha nabo basebenza kwiikliniki.
Umongameli wePlanned Parenthood Federation of America wakhalaza wathi: “Lo asingombandela nje wokuthetha ngokukhululekileyo. Oku kuyafana nokukhwaza uthi, ‘Kuyatsha!’ kwindawo enyakazelayo yokubukela imifanekiso eshukumayo. Sinendawo enyakazelayo yokubukela imifanekiso eshukumayo; khawujonge nje umkhamo abaye babulawa ngawo abantu kwiikliniki kwiminyaka embalwa edluleyo.” Abo bathethelela olu gonyamelo bathi kuphela basebenzisa ilungelo labo njengoko liqinisekiswa kwisiHlomelo Sokuqala SaseMerika—inkululeko yokuthetha. Ibe oku kuhambela phambili. Kuseza kuqhubeka kusiliwa amadabi ngokuphathelele eli lungelo kumajelo kawonke wonke, ibe iinkundla kuya kufuneka zizinzise le mbambano, ngelishwa, azinakubanelisa bonke.
Okunokwenziwa Ngabazali
Amakhaya afanele abe ziindawo ezikhuselekileyo ebantwaneni, angabi ziindawo abanokuba ngamaxhoba ngokulula kuzo kwabo banokubaxhaphaza okanye apho iimpawu zabo ezintle zobuntu zinokuphenjelelwa baze batshintshe babe nogonyamelo maxa wambi. Unjingalwazi weyunivesithi yaseUnited States ethetha nabazali wathi: “Usenokuqiniseka ukuba umntwana wakho akanakuze abe nogonyamelo phezu kwako nje ukuqhubeka ebukela ugonyamelo lukamabonwakude. Kodwa akunakuqiniseka ukuba umntwana wakho akanakubulawa okanye enzakaliswe ngumntwana womntu othile, okhuliswe ngokudla okufanayo.” Wandula wacebisa: “Ukunciphisa ukuchanabeka kwabantwana kugonyamelo lukamabonwakude kumele kube yinto ekuxoxwa ngayo ekuhlaleni, kunye namabhanti okuzibopha kwisithuthi, izigcina-ntloko ezithwalwa xa kukhwelwe ibhayisikile, ugonyo nokudla okufanelekileyo.”
Ukuba akunakumvumela umntu wasemzini aze endlwini yakho aze athuke asebenzise nentetho engamanyala engesini nogonyamelo emntwaneni wakho, ngoko ke sukuvumela unomathotholo nomabonwakude babe nguloo mntu wasemzini. Yazi xa kufuneka umcimile okanye utshintshe ijelo. Kwazi okubukelwe ngumntwana wakho, kumabonwakude nakwikhompyutha, kwanakwindawo esitheleyo yegumbi lakhe. Ukuba uyakwazi ukusebenzisa ikhompyutha neenkqubo zayo anokuzifumana, uyakothuka usakufumanisa oko akutyayo ubusuku ngabunye. Ukuba awaneliseki koko kubukelwa ngumntwana wakho, yithi nje hayi uze uchaze isizathu. Akanakufa kukubekelwa imiqathango.
Okokugqibela, fundisa abantwana bakho ukuphila ngemigaqo yobuthixo kungekhona ngemikhwa yale nkqubo yezinto ingendawo—enentetho engcolileyo nenogonyamelo nezenzo zayo. (IMizekeliso 22:6; Efese 6:4) Umpostile uPawulos wanika amaKristu isiluleko esisexesheni ukuze siphile ngaso sonke: “Uhenyuzo nokungahlambuluki kwalo lonke uhlobo okanye ukubawa makungakhe kukhankanywe kwaukukhankanywa phakathi kwenu, kanye njengoko kubafaneleyo abantu abangcwele; kwanehambo elihlazo nentetho yobudenge nokuqhula okungamanyala, zinto ezo ezingafanelekanga, kodwa kunoko mayibe kukubulela.”—Efese 5:3, 4.
[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 10]
Ezinye iinkqubo zikamabonwakude zinokukhokelela kulwaphulo-mthetho okanye ukuziphatha okubi