Ukunyamekela Umntu Onyamekela Umguli—Indlela Abanye Abanokunceda Ngayo

“SELE kuyiminyaka engama-55 mna noLawrie satshatayo—ithuba elide—yaye enjani yona iminyaka ukuba luyolo! Ukuba ndandinokukwazi ukumgcina ekhaya, ngendandenze ngolo hlobo. Kodwa impilo yam yaqalisa ukuba nkenenkene. Ekugqibeleni, kwafuneka ukuba ndenze amalungiselelo okuba aye kwikhaya labangenakuzinyamekela. Iba lihlwili intliziyo yam xa ndibalisa oku. Ndiyamthanda yaye ndimhlonela ngokunzulu ibe ndimtyelela rhoqo kangangoko ndinokukwazi. Ngokomzimba, akusekho nto ndinokuyenza.”—UAnna, ibhinqa elineminyaka engama-78 ubudala elithe kangangeminyaka eli-10 lanyamekela umyeni walo onesifo sika-Alzheimer nelathi kangangeminyaka engama-40 eyadlulayo lanyamekela intombi yabo enesifo sikaDown.a

Imeko ka-Anna asinto ingaqhelekanga. Uhlolisiso olwenziwa kwiiBritish Isles lwatyhila ukuba “amabhinqa akubudala obuthile (obuphakathi kwama-40 nama-50 eminyaka ubudala) elinye kwamabini linyamekela umguli.” Njengoko kuxutyushwe ngaphambilana, intlungu ekupheka ikophula neengxaki ezithwaxa umntu onyamekela umguli zisenokubonakala zinganyamezeleki maxa wambi.

UGqr. Fredrick Sherman, weAmerican Geriatrics Society uthi: “Ndicinga ukuba ubuncinane abantu abangama-50 ekhulwini abanyamekela abaguli bayadandatheka kunyaka wokuqala benyamekela umguli.” Kubantu abasele bekhulile njengoAnna, ukuphelelwa ngamandla nokuba nkenenkene kwempilo yabo kunokwenza ubunzima obungakumbi ekusingatheni le meko.

Ukuze sincede abo banyamekela abantu bahlangabezane neembopheleleko zabo, kufuneka sizazi iimfuno zabo. Ziziphi ezo mfuno, ibe yintoni esinokuyenza ngazo?

Abo Banyamekela Abantu Bafuna Ukuthetha

Elinye ibhinqa elalincedisa ekunyamekeleni umhlobo walo owayegulela ukufa lathi: “Ndandifuna ukothula umthwalo emagxeni am.” Njengoko kuboniswe kwinqaku elandulelayo, kusoloko kulula ukujamelana neengxaki xa zincokolwa nomhlobo oqondayo. Abaninzi kwabo banyamekela abaguli abaxakiweyo yimeko abakuyo bafumanisa ukuba ukuthetha ngemeko abakuyo kuyabanceda yaye kubapha isiqabu kuxinezeleko obelubabhuqa ngaphakathi.

Xa wayenyamekela umyeni wakhe, uJeanny ukhumbula oku: “Ndandiyixabisa kakhulu into yokuba abahlobo baqonde ukuba sobabini sasifuna ukhuthazo.” Uthi abo banyamekela abaguli bafuna ukhuthazo yaye, maxa wambi, uvelwano. UHjalmar, owayencedisa ekunyamekeleni umlanya wakhe ogulayo, uyavuma: “Ndandifuna umntu onokuphulaphula izinto endizixhaleleyo neengxaki zam aze ayiqonde indlela endivakalelwa ngayo.” Ethetha ngomhlobo wakhe osenyongweni, uHjalmar wongezelela ngelithi: “Kwakuba mnandi gqitha ukumtyelela, kwanokuba sisiqingatha nje seyure. Wayedla ngokundiphulaphula. Wayenenkathalo ngokwenene. Ndandidla ngokuziva ndihlaziyekile emva koko.”

Abo banyamekela abaguli banokukhuthazwa gqitha ngumphulaphuli oqondayo. Ngobulumko iBhayibhile inikela eli cebiso: ‘Khawuleza ukuva, ucothe ukuthetha.’ (Yakobi 1:19) Ingxelo ekwiThe Journals of Gerontology yatyhila ukuba “amaxesha amaninzi ukwazi ukuba kukho inkxaso kukupha isiqabu esithile.”

Noko ke, ngaphandle kokuphulaphula nenkxaso, yintoni enye efunwa ngabo banyamekela abaguli?

Ukunikela Uncedo Olusebenzisekayo

UGqr. Ernest Rosenbaum uthi: “Umguli nentsapho yakhe bangenelwa yiyo nayiphi na indlela yokubonakalisa uthando nokhuthazo.” Okokuqala, “uthando nokhuthazo” olunjalo unokulubonakalisa xa ubatyelele, xa ubatsalela umnxeba, okanye ngokubabhalela nje amazwi amafutshane (ukuba kunokwenzeka ahambe neentyatyambo okanye esinye isipho).

USue ukhumbula indlela intsapho yakowabo eyaxhaswa ngayo xa uyise wayeselukhukweni lokufa ngenxa yesifo sikaHodgkin: “Lwalusithuthuzela gqitha utyelelo olufutshane olwalusenziwa ngabahlobo bethu.” Uhlabela mgama esithi: “Omnye wabahlobo bam wayephendula umnxeba aze asincede ngokuhlamba nokolula impahla yethu sonke.”

Inkxaso enikelwa kwabo banyamekela abaguli inokuquka, yaye ifanele iquke uncedo olukhethekileyo nolubonakalayo. UElsa ukhumbula oku: “Ndakufumanisa kundinceda ukuba abahlobo banikele uncedo olusebenzisekayo. Babenganeli nje ukuthi: ‘Ukuba ikho into endinokuyenza, ndazise.’ Kunoko, babesithi: ‘Ndisaya kuthenga. Ndikuphathele ntoni?’ ‘Ndingasinyamekela isitiya sakho?’ ‘Ndingahlala nomguli ndize ndimfundele okuthile.’ Enye into esayifumanisa isebenziseka kukulungiselela incwadi ababenokuthi abo batyeleleyo babhale imiyalezo kuyo ngoxa umhlobo wam ogulayo wayediniwe okanye esalele. Oko kwakusiyolisa gqitha.”

Ukunikela uncedo olungqalileyo kunokuquka ukuncedisa kwiqela lemisetyenzana. URose uthi: “Ndandikuxabisa gqitha ukuncediswa ekulungiseni oomandlalo, ekubhaleni iileta zomguli, ekulungiseleleni iindwendwe zomguli, ekumfuneleni amayeza, ekumhlambeni nasekumlungiseni iinwele, nokuhlamba izitya.” Kwakhona iintsapho nabahlobo banokuncedisa lowo unyamekela umguli ngokutshintshana ekulungiseleleni izidlo.

Xa kufanelekile, kusenokuba luncedo ukuncedisa ekunyamekeleni umguli ngokoqobo. Ngokomzekelo, lowo unyamekela umguli usenokufuna ukuncediswa ekutyiseni okanye ekuhlambeni umguli.

Amalungu entsapho nabahlobo abanenkxalabo basenokunikela uncedo olusebenzisekayo xa sisaqala isigulo eso, kodwa kuthekani ukuba esi sigulo sithabatha ixesha elide? Ekubeni sixakeke yimicimbi yethu, ngokulula sisenokukulibala oko kuqhubekayo—ibe mhlawumbi—siyilibale ingcinezelo eyandayo abajamelana nayo abo banyamekela abaguli. Hayi indlela ebekuya kuba buhlungu ngayo ukuba balahlwe kwesinomhlwa bengaxhaswa bani!

Xa oko kusenzeka, kusenokucebiseka ukuba lowo unyamekela umguli abize intlanganiso yentsapho ukuze kuxutyushwe ngendlela yokunyamekela umguli. Kuye kwenzeke ukuba ufumane uncedo lwabahlobo nezalamane eziye zabonakalisa ukuba zikulungele ukuncedisa. Oko koko kanye kwenziwa nguSue nentsapho yakhe. Ubalisa athi: “Xa kwakukho imfuneko, sasikhumbula abo babethembise ukusincedisa size sibatsalele umnxeba. Sasivakalelwa kukuba sinokubacela ukuba basincede.”

Banikeni Isiqabu

Incwadi ethi The 36-Hour Day, ithi: “Kuluncedo ngokwenene kuwe wena [unyamekela umguli] [nakumguli]—ukuba ube namaxesha asisigxina ‘okuziphumza’ ekunyamekeleni lo mlwelwe imini nobusuku. . . . Ukuthabatha ikhefu, uphumle ekunyamekeleni lo [mguli], kuyenye yezona zinto zibalulekileyo onokuzenza ukuze ukwazi ukuqhubeka unyamekela umntu othile.” Ngaba abo banyamekela abaguli bayavumelana noku?

UMaria, owancedisa ekunyamekeleni umhlobo osenyongweni owayegulel’ ukufa ngenxa yomhlaza uphendula ngelithi: “Eneneni kunjalo. Maxa wambi, ndandidla ngokufuna ‘ukukhululeka’ kuze kubekho omnye umntu owayeza kuthabatha apho ndiyeke khona okwethuba elithile.” UJoan, onyamekela umyeni wakhe onesifo sika-Alzheimer, unoluvo olufanayo. Uthi: “Enye yezona mfuno zethu zibalaseleyo, kukufumana ikhefu ngamathuba athile.”

Noko ke, banokulifumana njani ikhefu kuloo mthwalo uthe zinzi emagxeni abo? UJennifer, owayencedisa ekunyamekeleni abazali bakhe abasele bekhulile, uchaza indlela awasifumana ngayo isiqabu: “Maxa wambi esinye isihlobo sentsapho sasidla ngokunyamekela umama usuku nje lube lunye ukuze sifumane isiqabu.”

Usenokukwazi ukunika lowo unyamekela umguli isiqabu ngokuhamba nomguli nibethwe ngumoya okwethuba elithile, ukuba oko kunokwenzeka. UJoan uthi: “Ndikufumanisa kuhlaziya kakhulu xa uthile ehamba nomyeni wam ukuze ndibe ndedwa okwethuba elithile.” Kwelinye icala, usenokuchitha ixesha nomguli ekhayeni lakhe. Zombini ezi ndlela, zenza lowo unyamekela umguli afumane ithuba lokuthi khebevu.

Noko ke, khumbula ukuba akusoloko kulula ngabo banyamekela abaguli ukuthabatha ikhefu. Basenokuziva benetyala xa bahlukene nalowo bamthandayo. UHjalmar uvuma ngelithi: “Akukho lula ukushiya le meko uye kubethwa ngumoya okanye upholelwe ngamalanga. Ndandivakalelwa kukuba kufuneka ndibe lapho lonke ixesha.” Kodwa wafumana uxolo olukhulu lwengqondo ngokuthabatha ikhefu xa umlanya wakhe wayengafuni ngqalelo ingako. Abanye baye benza ilungiselelo lokuba lowo bamthandayo anyanyekelwe kwindawo yokunyamekela abantu abasele bekhulile iiyure nje ezimbalwa.

Isiphelo Sako Konke Ukugula

Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukunyamekela othandekayo ogula ngokungaginyisi mathe akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. Sekunjalo, ukunyamekela umntu omthandayo kunokwanelisa gqitha. Abaphengululi kwakunye nabo banyamekela abaguli bakhuthaza ukuba intsapho nabahlobo babe nolwalamano olomeleleyo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, abo banyamekela abaguli bafunda iimpawu nobuchule obutsha bokwenza izinto. Abaninzi bafumana neengenelo zokomoya.

Okona kubalulekileyo kukuba, iBhayibhile ibonisa ukuba uYehova kunye noNyana wakhe, uYesu Kristu, ngabona banemfesane ekunyamekeleni abantu. Isiprofeto seBhayibhile sisiqinisekisa ukuba isiphelo sako konke ukugula, ukubandezeleka nokufa sisemnyango. Kungekudala, uMdali womntu uya kuvuza abemi bomhlaba abangamalungisa ngobomi obungunaphakade kwihlabathi elitsha—apho ‘engasayi kuthi ummi wakhona, ndiyafa.’—Isaya 33:24; ISityhilelo 21:4.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 11]

Imeko yomntu ogulayo ixhomekeke ngokuthe ngqo kwimeko yakho

[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 12]

Inkxaso yabahlobo abalungileyo iya kukunceda gqitha utyhubele izanzwili zexesha

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 12]

Ukunyamekela Umntu Kunokuba Nomvuzo

‘KUNOKUBA nomvuzo?’ bambi basenokuzibuza ngelitshoyo. ‘Kunokwenzeka njani oko?’ Nceda uphawule oko aba banyamekela abantu baye bakuxelela uVukani!:

“Ukubekela ecaleni usukelo neminqweno kabani akuthethi ulonwabo olusikelwe umda. ‘Kukho uyolo olungakumbi ekupheni kunokuba lukho ekwamkeleni.’ (IZenzo 20:35) Kwanelisa gqitha ukunyamekela othile omthandayo.”—UJoan.

“Ndandinombulelo ngokuba ndikwazi ukuncedisa udadewethu nomlanya ngexesha ababefuna uncedo ngokwenene ngalo—ngaphandle kokuba bandibuyekeze. Oko kwasenza sasondelelana ngakumbi. Ndinethemba lokuba ngaminazana ithile ndinokusebenzisa amava endiwafumeneyo ekuncedeni omnye umntu okwimeko efanayo.”—UHjalmar.

“Njengoko kwakusekulithuba ndixelela umhlobo wam ogulayo uBetty, ndafumana okuninzi gqitha kunoko ndamnika kona. Ndafunda ukuba novelwano nomonde. Ndafunda ukuba kunokwenzeka ukulondoloza isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo naphantsi kwezona meko zinzima.”—UElsa.

“Kwandomeleza ngakumbi. Ndakuqonda ngokupheleleyo into okuyiyo ukuthembela ngoYehova uThixo imihla ngemihla nokumvumela anelise iintswelo zam.”—UJeanny.

[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 13]

Xa Utyelela Umntu Onyamekela Umguli

• Phulaphula ngovelwano

• Mncome ngokusuka entliziyweni

• Nikela uncedo olungqalileyo

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 10]

Baxhase abo banyamekela abaguli ngokuya kubathengela izinto evenkileni nokubaphekela, okanye ngokubancedisa ekunyamekeleni umguli