Indlela Yokulawula Iimvakalelo
NGABA sithetha nje unyamekela umntu omthandayo ogula ngokungaginyisi mathe? Ukuba kunjalo, usenokuba udidekile yaye uyoyika. Unokwenza ntoni? Khawuqwalasele iimvakalelo eziye zakhathaza abanye abanyamekela abaguli namacebiso asebenzisekayo aye abanceda bahlangabezana nazo.
Ukuphoxeka. Maxa wambi, usenokuphoxeka esidlangalaleni yindlela umguli enza ngayo izinto. Kodwa ukuchazela abahlobo nabamelwane ngesigulo anaso lowo umthandayo kusenokubanceda baqonde yaye kusenokubashukumisela ukuba babonakalise “imvakalelo yobudlelane” nomonde. (1 Petros 3:8) Ukuba kunokwenzeka, thetha nezinye iintsapho ezikwimeko efanayo neyakho. Kusenokuphela ukuphoxeka njengoko nibaliselana ngale meko. USue ukuchaza ngolu hlobo okwamncedayo: “Ndandimvel’ usizi utata—oko kwagqumelela nakuphi na ukuphoxeka. Yaye nokuba noburharha kwakhe kwanceda.” Ewe, uburharha—bomguli nobabo bamnyamekelayo—busisixhobo esimangalisayo sokuthomalalisa ukukhathazeka.—Thelekisa INtshumayeli 3:4.
Uloyiko. Ukungazi nowathwethwa ngesifo eso koyikisa ngeyona ndlela. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, funa icebiso kwiingcali ngoko umele ukulindele njengoko esi sifo sithabath’ unyawo. Funda indlela onokumnyamekela ngayo umguli phantsi kwezo meko. KuElsa, enye yezona nkalo zibalulekileyo zokuhlangabezana noloyiko awayenalo yaba kukuthetha nabanye abanyamekela abaguli nabongikazi abanyamekela abantu abagulel’ ukufa ngoko wayemele akulindele njengoko imeko yomguli yayisiba maxongo. UJeanny unikela eli cebiso: “Lwamkele uloyiko onalo uze ululawule. Ukoyika into esenokwenzeka kusoloko kungaphezu kokoyika into eyenzekayo.” UGqr. Ernest Rosenbaum uncomela ukuba enokuba zibangelwa yintoni na, izinto ozoyikayo kufanele “uthethe ngazo zisaqala.”—Thelekisa IMizekeliso 15:22.
Intlungu. Akuyondlwan’ iyanetha ukuhlangabezana nentlungu, ingakumbi xa unyamekela umguli. Usenokuba buhlungu ngenxa yokuphulukana nobuqabane, ingakumbi ukuba umntu omthandayo ogulayo akasakwazi kuthetha, akaziqondi kakuhle izinto, okanye akasakunakani kwawena. Iimvakalelo ezinjalo zisenokungaqondwa ngokukhawuleza ngabanye. Ukuphalaza imbilini yakho kumhlobo oqondayo oya kukuphulaphula ngomonde nangovelwano kunokukunika isiqabu osifuna ngokwenene.—IMizekeliso 17:17.
Umsindo Nodano. Ngokuqhelekileyo ezi ziindlela abasabela ngazo abo banyamekela umntu ogula ngokungaginyisi mathe nosenokwenza izinto ngendlela engathandekiyo maxa wambi. (Thelekisa eyabase-Efese 4:26.) Qonda ukuba isoloko isisifo, ingenguye umguli, esibangela ukuba enze izinto ngendlela engathandekiyo. ULucy ukhumbula oku: “Xa ndijwaqeka ngumsindo, ndandidla ngokuphela ndintywizisa. Emva koko ndandiye ndizame ukuzikhumbuza ngemeko yomguli nangesigulo sakhe. Ndandisazi ukuba lo mguli wayelufuna uncedo lwam. Oko kwakundinceda ndiqalise apho bendiyeke khona.” Ukuqiqa ngolo hlobo kunokukwenza ‘uzeke kade umsindo.’—IMizekeliso 14:29; 19:11.
Ukuziva Unetyala. Kuxhaphakile ukuba abantu abanyamekela abaguli bazive benetyala. Noko ke, qiniseka ukuba, umsebenzi owenzayo ubalulekile kodwa unzima gqitha. Samkele isibakala sokuba akunakusoloko ugqibelele kwintetho nakwizenzo zakho. IBhayibhile isikhumbuza oku: “Sonke siyakhubeka izihlandlo ezininzi. Ukuba nabani na akakhubeki zwini, lo uyindoda egqibeleleyo, ekwaziyo ukuwubamba ngomkhala kwanomzimba wayo uphela.” (Yakobi 3:2; Roma 3:23) Musa ukuvumela ukuziva unetyala kukuthintele ekuthabatheni amanyathelo akhawulezileyo. Xa uziva uphazamisekile ngenxa yento oyithethileyo okanye oyenzileyo, usenokufumanisa ukuba ukuthi “ndicela uxolo” kuya kwenza wena nomguli nizive bhetele. Enye indoda eyayinyamekela isizalwane esigulayo yanikela eli cebiso: “Yenza konk’ okusemandleni akho xa uphantsi kwaloo meko.”
Udandatheko. Udandatheko luxhaphake gqitha—ibe oko kunjalo—kwiintsapho ezihlangabezana nokugula okungaginyisi mathe. (Thelekisa eyoku-1 kwabaseTesalonika 5:14.) Omnye umntu odandathekileyo onyamekela umguli uchaza okwamncedayo: “Abaninzi babedla ngokusibulela ngokunyamekela umguli. Amazwi nje ambalwa okhuthazo anokukomelezela ukuba uqhubeke xa udinwe uyimfe okanye udandathekile.” IBhayibhile ithi: “Isithukuthezi [inkxalabo enyamekileyo, NW] esisentliziyweni yendoda siyenza igobe; liyayivuyisa ilizwi elihle.” (IMizekeliso 12:25) Abanye basenokungasoloko beqonda ukuba ufuna ukhuthazo. Ngoko, maxa wambi, ekuqaleni kusenokufuneka uyichaze ngokuphandle “inkxalabo enyamekileyo” esentliziyweni yakho ukuze ufumane “ilizwi elihle” lokhuthazo kwabanye. Noko ke, ukuba iimvakalelo zokudandatheka ziyaqhubeka zikho okanye ziba qatha ngakumbi, kusenokucebiseka ukuba ubonane nogqirha.
Ukungakwazi Ukunikela Uncedo. Usenokuziva ungakwazi ukunikela uncedo xa unyamekela umntu onesifo esibangela ubulwelwe. Yamkele ngobunjalo bayo imeko yakho. Qonda ukuba usikelwe umda—akunakukwazi ukulawula impilo yomguli, kodwa unokumnyamekela ngemfesane. Musa ukulindela ukugqibelela kuwe, kumguli, nakwabo bakuxhasayo. Ukulungelelana akuphelisi nje iimvakalelo zokungakwazi ukuzinceda kodwa kukwawenza lula umsebenzi. Ngobulumko, abaninzi abakha banyamekela othandekayo bacebisa ngelithi: Funda ukujamelana nosuku lube lunye ngexesha.—Mateyu 6:34.
[Amagama acatshulweyo akwiphepha 8]
“Lwamkele uloyiko onalo uze ululawule. Ukoyika into esenokwenzeka kusoloko kungaphezu kokoyika into eyenzekayo”
[Ibhokisi ekwiphepha 7]
Amazwi Akhuthazayo Avela Kwabo Banyamekela Abaguli
“MUSA ukunxunguphaliswa ziingcinga ezingakhiyo onazo ngawe. Ziqhelekile xa uphantsi kweemeko ezilolu hlobo. Ngokuqinisekileyo akufanele uyigcine kuwe indlela ovakalelwa ngayo. Zityand’ igila kothile ngendlela ovakalelwa ngayo, yaye ukuba unako, thabatha ikhefu—uye kwenye indawo okwethuba elithile—ukuze uzive uhlaziyekile.”—ULucy, omsebenzi wakhe wasekliniki wawuquka ukuncedisa iqela elinyamekela abantu kwakunye nabaguli.
“Ukuba kukho amalungu entsapho nabahlobo abakhoyo nabakulungeleyo ukunceda, bavumele benjenjalo. Kubalulekile ukuba wabelane nabanye ngomthwalo.”—USue, owayenyamekela uyise ngaphambi kokuba abulawe sisifo sikaHodgkin.
“Funda ukuhlakulela uburharha.”—UMaria, owancedisa ekunyamekeleni umhlobo osenyongweni owabulawa ngumhlaza.
“Hlala womelele ngokomoya. Sondela kuYehova, uze uthandaze ngokungapheziyo. (1 Tesalonika 5:17; Yakobi 4:8) Uyasinceda aze asithuthuzele ngomoya wakhe, ngeLizwi lakhe, ngabakhonzi bakhe abasemhlabeni, nangamadinga akhe. Zama ukulungelelana kangangoko unako. Ngokomzekelo, kuyanceda ukwenzela abo bakuncedayo ucwangciso noludwe lwamayeza.”—UHjalmar, owayenyamekela umlanya wakhe owayeselukhukweni lokufa.
“Funda yonke into onokuyifunda ngokuphathelele isigulo salo mguli. Oku kuya kukunceda wazi omele ukulindele kumguli nakuwe nangendlela ofanele umnyamekele ngayo.”—UJoan, onomyeni onesifo sika-Alzheimer.
“Qonda ukuba bakho abanye abaye bakwazi ukuhlangabezana noku ngaphambi kwakho, yaye uYehova unokukunceda uhlangabezane nayo nantoni na eyenzekayo.”—UJeanny, owayenyamekela umyeni wakhe ngaphambi kokuba afe.
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 8]
Ukuze uthobe izibilini, qonda okungakumbi kangangoko unako ngesi sigulo
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 9]
Ukuthetha nomhlobo oqondayo kunokukunika isiqabu