Imbono YeBhayibhile

Amanyala—Ngaba Yindlela Nje Yokuzonwabisa Engeyongozi?

A BEMBI bezinto zakudala bexesha likaVictoria basala bethe khamnqa zizinto abazifumanayo xa baqalisa ukumba kumabhodlo asePompeii. Phakathi kwaloo mifanekiso mihle nezinto zobugcisa, kwakukho imizobo eyayibonisa abantu abaze nababelana ngesondo. Bothuswe ngala masikizi, abasemagunyeni bayigcina le mifanekiso kwiimyuziyam ezifihlakeleyo. Lavela ngelo xesha ke igama elithi (pornography) “amanyala”—gama elo elivela kumagama esiGrike upornē nographos, athetha “ukubhala ngoonongogo”—elichaza le mifanekiso ibonisa amanyala ngokuphandle. Namhlanje achazwa njengemifanekiso esezincwadini, kwimizobo, kwimikrolo, kwimiboniso eshukumayo, njl., eyenziwe ngenjongo yokuvuselela inkanuko yesini.

Kule mihla, amanyala axhaphake gqitha yaye abantu abaninzi namhlanje bawagqala njengento eyamkelekileyo. Nangona ngaphambili ayeboniswa kwiindawo zokubonisa imifanekiso eshukumayo engcolileyo nakwiindawo ezinoonongogo abaninzi, ngoku aboniswa kuyo yonk’ indawo. EUnited States kuphela, amanyala enza ingeniso engaphezu kweshumi lamawaka ezigidi zeedola ngonyaka!

Abanye abantu abathethelela amanyala bathi yindlela yokuvuselela umtshato oyindinisa. Omnye umbhali uthi: “Abangela ukuba umntu abunandiphe ubomi bamaphupha. Afundisa indlela yokunandipha iintlobano zesini.” Abanye bathi akhuthaza ukuba kuthethwe ngokukhululekileyo ngemibandela yesini. Umbhali uWendy McElroy uthi: “Amanyala aluncedo kumabhinqa.”

Kodwa asinguye wonk’ ubani ovumelanayo noku. Amanyala adla ngokunxulunyaniswa nemiphumo eyingozi nesimo sengqondo esingafanelekanga. Abanye bathi amanyala aphembelela ukudlwengula nezinye iindidi zokuphathwa ngogonyamelo kwamabhinqa nabantwana. UTed Bundy owayedume kakubi ngokubulala amabhinqa amaninzi ngendlela efanayo wavuma ukuba “wayewathanda kakhulu amanyala anogonyamelo.” Wathi: “Umntu akakhawulezi ayibone ukuba yingxaki le. . . . Kodwa lo mnqweno wokubukela amanyala anogonyamelo . . . ubangela ukuba ekuhambeni kwexesha umntu athande izenzo zesini ezinogonyamelo. Lo mnqweno ukhula ngokuthe ngcembe. Asinto nje yenzeka ngokukhawuleza.”

Ekubeni zixhaphakile izinto ezibonisa amanyala namhlanje, unokuzibuza, ‘Ngaba lukho ulwalathiso lweBhayibhile kulo mbandela?’

IBhayibhile Ithetha Ngokuphandle Ngesini

IBhayibhile ithetha ngokuphandle ngesini. (Duteronomi 24:5; 1 Korinte 7:3, 4) USolomon wathi: ‘Yiba nemihlali ngumfazi wobutsha bakho. Amabele akhe makakuyobe ngamaxesha onke.’ (IMizekeliso 5:18, 19) Inikela icebiso nesiluleko esicacileyo ngokuphathelele iintlobano zesini, kwanemida ngokuphathele ukunanditshwa kwazo. Iyakwalela ukuba neentlobano zesini nomntu ongatshatanga naye. Yalela nazo zonke iintlobano zesini ezigqwethekileyo.—Levitikus 18:22, 23; 1 Korinte 6:9; Galati 5:19.

Kwanasemtshatweni, kufuneka ukuzeyisa nentlonelo. Umpostile uPawulos wabhala: “Umtshato mawubekeke phakathi kwenu nonke, nesilili somtshato masingadyojwa.” (Hebhere 13:4) Esi siluleko sahluke ngokupheleleyo koko kuboniswa ngamanyala.

Amanyala Ayasigqwetha Isini

Kunokuba abonise iintlobano zesini njengembonakaliso efanelekileyo yokuthandana kwendoda nomfazi kwiqhina elibekekileyo lomtshato, amanyala asenza singabi nasidima aze asigqwethe isini. Iintlobano zesini ezingezozamvelo nezigqwethekileyo ziboniswa njengento eluyolo nenomtsalane. Kubalaseliswa ukuba umntu umele azanelise, angazikhathazi ngeqabane lakhe.

Amanyala abalaselisa ukuba amadoda, amabhinqa nabantwana zizinto ezenzelwe ukuzanelisa ngokwesini nje kuphela. Enye ingxelo ithi: “Ubuhle bujongwa ngendlela umntu amile ngayo, nto leyo ebangela ulindelo olungekho ngqiqweni.” Kanti enye ingxelo iqukumbela ngelithi: “Ukuthi amabhinqa ngabantu abangaxabisekanga, abasoloko befuna okanye belindele, abazizinto nje zokwanelisa amadoda ngokwesini, abakhululayo baze baveze imizimba ukuze bafumane imali nokuze bonwabise abantu, kuyaphikisana nokuba ayalingana nabanye abantu, anesidima yaye angabantu.”

Ngokwahlukileyo koko, uPawulos wathi, uthando “aluziphathi ngokungandilisekanga, alufuni ezalo izilangazelelo.” (1 Korinte 13:5) IBhayibhile ibongoza amadoda ukuba “abathande abafazi bawo njengemizimba yawo” ‘abanike imbeko,’ angabagqali njengezinto zokwanelisa iminqweno yesini. (Efese 5:28; 1 Petros 3:7) Ngaba ngokwenene ubunokuthi umntu, enoba uyindoda okanye ulibhinqa, osoloko ebukele imifanekiso esibonisa ngokuphandle isini, uziphatha ngokundilisekileyo? Ibe ngaba ngokwenene loo mntu ubonisa intlonelo nembeko? Amanyala akhuthaza iminqweno yokuzingca kunokuba akhuthaze uthando.

Nantsi enye inkalo. Njengazo zonke iintshukumisa ezingafanelekanga, izinto ezidla ngokuvuselela umntu ngokwesini, uyaziqhela ekuhambeni kwexesha. Omnye umbhali uthi: “Ekuhambeni kwexesha, [abantu abathanda amanyala] baye bafune inkcazelo ethe kratya ekuboniseni amanyala ngokuphandle negqwetheke ngakumbi . . . Basenokunyanzela amaqabane abo ukuba abandakanyeke kwizenzo zesini ezilisikizi . . . , ngaloo ndlela bebulala umnqweno [wabo] wemvelo wokubonakalisa uthando.” Ngaba oko kubonakala njengenye indlela yokuzonwabisa engenabungozi? Kodwa kukho nesinye isizathu sokuphepha amanyala.

Imbono YeBhayibhile Ngenkanuko

Ngoxa abaninzi namhlanje bevakalelwa kukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuhlala ucinga ngesini, iBhayibhile ayivumelani noko. Ichaza ngokucacileyo ukuba into esisoloko sicinga ngayo iphembelela izenzo zethu. Umfundi ongumKristu uYakobi uthi: “Ngamnye ulingwa ngokutsalwa nokuwexulwa ngumnqweno wakhe. Wandule ke umnqweno, xa uthe wakhawula, uzale isono.” (Yakobi 1:14, 15) UYesu wathi: “Wonk’ ubani oqhubeka ekhangela umfazi ngokokude amkhanuke sele emkrexezile entliziyweni yakhe.”—Mateyu 5:28.

Njengoko uYakobi noYesu bebonisa, abantu benza ngokuvisisana neminqweno yabo. Xa umntu ehlala ecinga ngaloo minqweno, ekuhambeni kwexesha iba yinkanuko evuthayo. Kuba nzima ukuyilawula le nkanuko yaye ekugqibeleni umntu unokuziva enyanzelekile ukuba ayanelise. Ngaloo ndlela, izinto esisoloko sicinga ngazo zinokuba nempembelelo enamandla kwizenzo zethu.

Ukusoloko sicinga ngesini kunokuphazamisana nokunqula kwethu uThixo. Ngeso sizathu uPawulos wathi: “Bhubhisani, ke ngoko, amalungu enu omzimba . . . uhenyuzo, ukungahlambuluki, inkanuko yesini, umnqweno owenzakalisayo, nokubawa, okulunqulo-zithixo.”—Kolose 3:5.

Apha uPawulos unxulumanisa inkanuko yesini nokubawa, umnqweno ovuthayo wokufuna into ongenayo.a Ukubawa luhlobo oluthile lonqulo-zithixo. Kutheni sisitsho nje? Kaloku kungenxa yokuba akukho nto yimbi icingwa ngumntu obawayo ngaphandle kwaloo nto ayikhanukayo, akacingi nangoThixo. Amanyala akhuthaza ukuba umntu akhanuke into angenayo. Omnye umbhali ngezakwalizwi uthi: “Umntu uye afune ukuba neentlobano zesini ngendlela aqhele ukubona abanye abantu besenza ngayo. . . . Ayikho enye into ayicingayo ngaphandle kokunqwenela loo nto ayifunayo. . . . Siyazinqula izinto esizikhanukayo.”

Amanyala Onakalisa Ingqondo

IBhayibhile iyabongoza: ‘Hlalani nicinga ngezinto ezinyulu, ezithandekayo, ekuthethwa kakuhle ngazo, nezinesidima.’ (Filipi 4:8) Umntu osoloko ebukele amanyala nosoloko ecinga ngawo uyasigatya isilumkiso sikaPawulos. Amanyala akanasidima ngenxa yokuba abek’ elubala izinto ezenziwa ngasese, ebezingamele kubonwa ngabanye abantu. Ayenyanyeka kuba abathob’ isidima abantu. Akathandeki kuba akakhuthazi ububele nenyameko. Ekuphela kwento ayikhuthazayo yinkanuko yokuzingca.

Ngokubonisa izinto ezingcolileyo nokuziphatha okubi ngokukhululekileyo, amanyala aphazamisana nemigudu yomKristu okanye abangela ukuba ethe amandla angakwazi ‘ukuthiya okubi.’ (Amos 5:15) Akhuthaza ukona, yaye oko kungqubana ngokupheleleyo namazwi awathethwa nguPawulos kubantu base-Efese, athi, “uhenyuzo nako konke ukungahlambuluki nokubawa makungakhe kukhankanywe kwaukukhankanywa phakathi kwenu, kanye njengoko kubafaneleyo abantu abangcwele; kwanehambo elihlazo . . . nokuqhula okungamanyala, zinto ezo ezingafanelekanga.”—Efese 5:3, 4.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, amanyala ayingozi. Ayayonakalisa ingqondo. Anokuxabanisa, egqwetha indlela yemvelo yokwabelana ngesondo, aze abangele umntu ukuba anelise umnqweno wesini ngokubukela ubuze neentlobano zesini ezenziwa ngabanye abantu. Umntu onaloo mikhuba utyhefa ingqondo nempilo yakhe yokomoya. Amanyala akhuthaza ukuzingca nokubawa yaye afundisa abantu ukuba bagqale abanye njengezinto nje zokwanelisa iinkanuko zabo. Aphazamisana nemigudu yokwenza okulungileyo nokuhlala unesazela esicocekileyo. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kukuba, anokutshabalalisa ulwalamano lomntu lokomoya noThixo. (Efese 4:17-19) Ngokwenene, amanyala ngumkhuba oyingozi ofanele uphetshwe.—IMizekeliso 4:14, 15.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 14]

Amanyala agqwetha imbono efanelekileyo ngabantu besini esahlukileyo