Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza . . .

Ndinokubenza Njani Abantu Batsaleleke Kum?

“Ndandingakhululeki xa ndincokola namantombazana. Ndandingayazi into ayicingayo, indlela avakalelwa ngayo okanye imbono anayo ngezinto.”—UTyler.

ZIZIPHI iimpawu ezithandwa kakhulu ngamantombazana emakhwenkweni? “Kukuzithemba,” utsho njalo uEmily, intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo. Kanti uRobyn, enye intombazana ekwishumi elivisayo uthi, eyona nto ayithandayo yena yinkwenkwe ehlekisayo. Wona amakhwenkwe, athanda ziphi iimpawu emantombazaneni? Kaloku, olunye uhlolisiso lwabonisa ukuba eyona ntombazana ithandwayo yeyimbelukazi. Ukuba neminqweno nemilinganiselo efanayo kwabekwa kwindawo yesithandathu.

Kumaphephancwadi athandwayo lulutsha, kuxhaphakile ukuba kubekho amanqaku kuze kwenziwe uhlolisiso ngokuphathelele ubuhlobo phakathi kwamakhwenkwe namantombazana. Ngokucacileyo ngoko, ulutsha oluninzi lusoloko lucinga—okanye luyixhalabele kakhulu—indlela olujongwa ngayo ngabantu besini esahlukileyo. Mhlawumbi nawe ukhe uzixhalabise ngoko. Oku akuthethi ukuba sele ukulungele ukutshata. Kodwa njengamntu wonke, ufuna ukuba abantu batsaleleke kuwe! UTyler uthi: “Xa ukwishumi elivisayo, ufuna ukuba nomtsalane emntwini wonke. Ufuna ukwamkeleka koontanga bakho, abangamakhwenkwe nabangamantombazana.” Kwakhona, ngenye imini usenokufuna iqabane lomtshato elifanelekileyo. Ngelo xesha ke, uya kufuna ukuba elo qabane libe nomdla kuwe.

Noko ke, kusenokwenzeka ukuba njengomKristu oselula akuzange ube nazinkqubano nabantu besini esahlukileyo. Ukongezelela koko, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ujamelene nengcinezelo yoontanga yokufuna ukuba nomtsalane. Kaloku, ekubeni usoloko ubona ababonisi-mpahla nezigantsontso ezinemizimba emihle kumabonwakude nakumaphephancwadi, usenokuziva umncinane yaye ungazithembi! Ngoko, yintoni enokwenza abantu batsaleleke kuwe—ngendlela efanelekileyo—kuquka abo besini esahlukileyo?

Ubudenge Bokufuna Umzimba “Omhle”

Isazi ngokusebenza kwengqondo uWilliam S. Pollack uthi, ngenxa yempembelelo yamaziko okuzonwabisa, ulutsha oluninzi “luchitha ixesha elininzi luzama ukunciphisa umzimba ngendlela olutya ngayo, luphakamisa iintsimbi lusenza nomthambo ngenjongo yokutshintsha inkangeleko yomzimba.” Olunye lude luzibeke engozini ngokuzibaxa izinto, njengokungatyi konke konke ukuze lube nemizimba ‘emihle.’ Ukanti iSocial Issues Research Centre ithi: “Ngamabhinqa angaphantsi kwe-5% kuphela anemizimba enjengaleyo iboniswa kumabonwakude nasemaphepheni. Xa kuthethwa ngokumila nembonakalo yobuso, amalunga nesi-1% kuphela.”

Ngoko lisengqiqweni eli cebiso leBhayibhile lifumaneka kumaRoma 12:2: “Ningavumeli ihlabathi eliningqongileyo linenze nifane nalo.” (Phillips) Noko ke, oku akuthethi ukuba ufanele ungazikhathaleli. Kusengqiqweni ukunyamekela umzimba wakho ngokwenza umthambo nokutya ngendlela elungeleleneyo. (Roma 12:1; 1 Timoti 4:8) Nokulala uze uphumle ngokwaneleyo kunokukunceda uzive uhlaziyekile. Kwangaxeshanye, yinyamekele impilo nendlela ozilungisa ngayo. UDavid oselula waseBritani uthi: “Kukho ntombazana ithile enomtsalane, kodwa inevumba elingathandekiyo. Abantu abafuni kusondela kuyo ngenxa yalo.” Ngoko umele uhlambe rhoqo. Ukuhlamba izandla, iinwele neenzipho kunokukwenza ukhangeleke.

Nangona iBhayibhile ingakukhuthazi ukuzikhathaza ngokugqithiseleyo ngesinxibo, icebisa amaKristu ukuba ‘azihombise ngesinxibo esilungiswe kakuhle, ngokuthozama nangengqondo ephilileyo.’ (1 Timoti 2:9) Nxiba impahla eza kukwenza ukhangeleke kakuhle kodwa ingabi yengaqhelekanga okanye engenasidima.a Ukuzikhathalela ngendlela esengqiqweni kunokukwenza uzithembe. UPaul oselula uthi yena: “Usenokungabi yonzwana, kodwa unako ukuzilungisa ube mhle.”

Ubuntu Bakho

Ngoxa ukuba mhle nokuba nomzimba owakhekileyo kunokwenza abanye batsaleleke kuwe, ekuhambeni kwexesha ‘ubuhle busenokuba lilize.’ (IMizekeliso 31:30) Ubuhle busenokuphela yaye ngokuqinisekileyo abunakuthabathel’ indawo ubuntu bakho obunomtsalane. (IMizekeliso 11:22) Kwakhona, khumbula ukuba “umntu nje ubona okubonakalayo emehlweni; kodwa uYehova yena, ubona oko ikuko intliziyo.” (1 Samuweli 16:7) Ngoko kunokuzixhalabisa ngendlela omile ngayo okanye indlela owakheke ngayo, nikela ingqalelo ‘kumntu ofihlakeleyo wentliziyo ofake isivatho esingenakonakala somoya ozolileyo nowobulali, oxabiso likhulu emehlweni kaThixo.’ (1 Petros 3:3, 4; Efese 4:24) Liyinyaniso elokuba, ulutsha oluninzi lwanamhlanje alunaxesha labantu abaneempawu ezintle—kungasathethwa ke ngeempawu ezintle zokomoya.b Kodwa baxabisekile yaye banomtsalane kwabo bayaziyo imilinganiselo kaThixo!

Ngoko, eyona nto enokuwenza atsaleleke kuwe amadoda namabhinqa angamaKristu aqolileyo ngokomoya, kukuba nawe ukhule ngokomoya. Zakhe ngokomoya ngokuthandaza, ngokufundisisa iBhayibhile nangokubakho kwiintlanganiso zamaKristu. (INdumiso 1:1-3) Noko ke, zikho ezinye iindlela onokuphucula ngazo ubuchule neempawu onazo. Akuyomfuneko ukuba wenze amadinga okanye uthandane ukuze uhlakulele ezi mpawu. Kunoko, unokuzibonakalisa kwindlela obaphatha ngayo abanye mihla le.

Ngokomzekelo, ngaba akukhululeki xa uphakathi kwabantu besini esahlukileyo? UPaul oselula uthi: “Maxa wambi ndiye ndizive ndingakhululekanga phakathi kwamantombazana—kuba andiwazi njengokuba ndisazi amakhwenkwe. Yaye andikuthandi ukuphoxeka.” Unokukuhlakulela njani ukuzithemba nokulungelelana ngendlela eya kwenza abanye bakhululeke xa bekunye nawe? Enye indlela, kukunxulumana nabantu abahlukahlukeneyo abakwibandla lamaKristu. Xa ukwiintlanganiso, yiba nomdla kwabanye—kungekuphela nje oontanga bakho besini esahlukileyo kodwa yiba nomdla nasebantwaneni, abantu abakhulu nabo sele bekhulile. (Filipi 2:4) Ukuziqhelisa ukubaphatha kakuhle abantu abahlukahlukeneyo kuya kukunceda uzive ukhululekile.

Noko ke, umele ulumke. UYesu wathi: “Uze umthande ummelwane wakho njengawe siqu.” (Mateyu 19:19) Ukuba ungumntu ozithandayo, uya kuziphatha ngendlela efanelekileyo phakathi kwabanye.c Noko ke, ngoxa kufuneka uzithembe ukusa kumlinganiselo othile, ungazibaxi izinto. Umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Ndixelela wonk’ ubani apho phakathi kwenu ukuba angazicingeli ngaphezu koko amelwe kukuzicingela ngako.”—Roma 12:3.

Kwakhona, khawucinge ngendlela oziphatha ngayo phakathi kwabanye abantu. Intombazana yaseBritani egama linguLydia ithi: “Esikolweni kukho inkwenkwe ethandwa kakhulu ngamantombazana. Kodwa emva kwexesha eyazi, aye angayithandi ngenxa yokuba ikrwada yaye ayiyikhethi into eyithethayo emntwini.” Abantu bayatsaleleka kumntu othetha ngobubele nangesimilo nonolwazelelelo ngabanye. (Efese 4:29, 32; 5:3, 4) UGqr. T. Berry Brazelton uthi: “Ukuba nesimilo kukwenza wamkeleke ebantwini.” Ufanele ube “nesimilo ukuze abantu batsaleleke kuwe.”

Inkcubeko nendlela eyamkelekileyo yokwenza izinto yahlukile kwiindawo ngeendawo ehlabathini. Ngoko usenokubukela indlela amadoda namabhinqa angamaKristu aqolileyo aphathana ngayo. Ngokomzekelo, ngaba kwilizwe ohlala kulo kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba indoda ivulele ibhinqa umnyango? Ngoko ukuziqhelisa ukwenza ngale ndlela kuya kukwenza ugqalwe njengomntu ochubekileyo nonesimilo.

Okokugqibela, into enokukunceda kukuba noburharha. IBhayibhile ithi kukho ‘ixesha lokuhleka,’ yaye umntu onoburharha akabi nangxaki yokuzenzela abahlobo.—INtshumayeli 3:1, 4.

Umahluko Phakathi Komntu Onobuhlobo Nongudlalani

Enye incwadi “enamacebiso ngendlela eyimpumelelo yokuthandana” yathi indlela yokutsala abantu besini esahlukileyo kukuba ngudlalani. Yafundisa abantu indlela yokuncuma, yokujonga ‘namazwi owathethayo xa uqala ukudibana nomntu.’ Loo macebiso anxamnye nesiluleko sikaPawulos esiya kuTimoti, sokuphatha ngembeko abantu besini esahlukileyo, “unobunyulu bonke.”—1 Timoti 5:2.

Nangona udlalani enokuziva engumntu obalulekileyo, kodwa ukwenjenjalo kukunganyaniseki. Akuyomfuneko ukuba ube ngudlalani okanye uzenze umntu ongenguye ukuze uqhube incoko ebangel’ umdla. Kungeyiyo nemfuneko ukubuza imibuzo eziintloni okanye engafanelekanga ukuze wazi indlela abacinga nabavakalelwa ngayo abantu besini esahlukileyo. Thetha nje ngezinto ‘ezibubulungisa, ezinyulu, nezithandekayo,’ yaye oku kuya kubonisa ukuba uyindoda okanye ibhinqa eliqolileyo ngokomoya. (Filipi 4:8) Ukuthobela imigaqo yobuthixo kuya kutsala kungekuphela nje abantu besini esahlukileyo kodwa noThixo uya kutsaleleka kuwe.d—IMizekeliso 1:7-9.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Imifanekiso ekwiphepha 31]

Kunokuzikhathaza ngendlela okhangeleka ngayo, zama ukuhlakulela iimpawu zokomoya

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 31]

Nxulumana ngokukhululekileyo nabantu abahlukahlukeneyo